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Sorry for that ugly proportions (I am really bad at those..) Here is a letter I wrote to my Genshin Crush Kaveh. It´s about guilt and me trying to get rid of it.

Dear Kaveh,

please read these lines thoroughly so you see that you are not alone.

Listen, I know what you feel. Guilt is like a ghost that haunts you. Our actions cannot be undone and sometimes we wish to turn back time and make things undone, right?

Your fathers death was not your fault. After all it was his decision to participate in that contest. You´re not to blame! But you won´t believe that, will you. Guilt holds you like a kraken to its prey.

Kaveh, have you ever hurt someone? I sure did... my best friend... twice.

See, a friend´s ex boyfriend hated me the first time we met. He made sure that I feel ignored and said something all my bullies back at school said: "Who would ever love someone like you". So I never ever wanted to meet any boyfriends of my friends. If I remember his face and meet him, I would smack him. He deserved it!

Hey, have you ever drowned in fear? Fear turns me into a beast. An egoistic monster who does not see what other people feel. The only thing it sees is its own worst case scenario. You give the other person a free ride through hell because you can´t keep your sh*t together And when they are already hurt THEN you realise what you have done and BOOM here is guilt!

Have you ever experienced something like that?

See? We have one thing in common: Guilt.

Despite the good we do (and yes we do good!), our guilt remains.

Don´t ya think we would be great friends? Two souls scarred from life who cannot erase our guilt.

They always say you should forgive yourself. But that is easier said than done. How can you NOT hate yourself after doing something wrong?

Can your guilt be triggered? Mine can. Even a simple question in a questionaire from work asking what my strengths are made me doubt myself. Guess what: I even had the theory that I am toxic. Crazy, right? My friends had to give me positive words to get me off this darkness. I am writing you this because my guilt was triggered. We talked about toxic relationships/friendships in the car on our way back from a concert. A friend of mine is scared of relationships due to a toxic girlfriend she once has (and she was in a phase where she wanted to know more about her sexual orientation...). See? We are all so beautifully broken.

I like you, Kaveh. Thanks for being in my team. Let´s walk this road of life with guilt on our side, shall we?

Maybe we will find a way to let our guilt go but... HOW? No one will ever know an answer to that.

Our guilt connects us, my dear.

I wanted to let you know that you´re not alone in the world. There will always be someone who experienced similar things.

Have a good one, Kaveh!

Love,

Flusspelz

Description

Sorry for that ugly proportions (I am really bad at those..) Here is a letter I wrote to my Genshin Crush Kaveh. It´s about guilt and me trying to get rid of it.

Dear Kaveh,

please read these lines thoroughly so you see that you are not alone.

Listen, I know what you feel. Guilt is like a ghost that haunts you. Our actions cannot be undone and sometimes we wish to turn back time and make things undone, right?

Your fathers death was not your fault. After all it was his decision to participate in that contest. You´re not to blame! But you won´t believe that, will you. Guilt holds you like a kraken to its prey.

Kaveh, have you ever hurt someone? I sure did... my best friend... twice.

See, a friend´s ex boyfriend hated me the first time we met. He made sure that I feel ignored and said something all my bullies back at school said: "Who would ever love someone like you". So I never ever wanted to meet any boyfriends of my friends. If I remember his face and meet him, I would smack him. He deserved it!

Hey, have you ever drowned in fear? Fear turns me into a beast. An egoistic monster who does not see what other people feel. The only thing it sees is its own worst case scenario. You give the other person a free ride through hell because you can´t keep your sh*t together And when they are already hurt THEN you realise what you have done and BOOM here is guilt!

Have you ever experienced something like that?

See? We have one thing in common: Guilt.

Despite the good we do (and yes we do good!), our guilt remains.

Don´t ya think we would be great friends? Two souls scarred from life who cannot erase our guilt.

They always say you should forgive yourself. But that is easier said than done. How can you NOT hate yourself after doing something wrong?

Can your guilt be triggered? Mine can. Even a simple question in a questionaire from work asking what my strengths are made me doubt myself. Guess what: I even had the theory that I am toxic. Crazy, right? My friends had to give me positive words to get me off this darkness. I am writing you this because my guilt was triggered. We talked about toxic relationships/friendships in the car on our way back from a concert. A friend of mine is scared of relationships due to a toxic girlfriend she once has (and she was in a phase where she wanted to know more about her sexual orientation...). See? We are all so beautifully broken.

I like you, Kaveh. Thanks for being in my team. Let´s walk this road of life with guilt on our side, shall we?

Maybe we will find a way to let our guilt go but... HOW? No one will ever know an answer to that.

Our guilt connects us, my dear.

I wanted to let you know that you´re not alone in the world. There will always be someone who experienced similar things.

Have a good one, Kaveh!

Love,

Flusspelz