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Description
Oikawa Tooru, despite the overall majority opinion, wasn’t really a player.

Sure, one could question many a jealous, spiteful boy or rejected, saddened girl from Aobajousai and receive the exact opposite response - that he was, very much so, a player. After all, a boy who had every girl in his general vicinity fawning over him couldn’t not be one, right? It was a well known fact in other schools, rather than just his own, that many girls had been reduced to tears after he had refused their confessions, and the rumour constantly spinning around was that he had a new girlfriend, prettier than the previous, every month. Boys didn’t understand his popularity while girls pined for just the chance to catch his interest for but a moment.

In the eyes of people that did not know him, Oikawa Tooru was, indeed, a merciless player.

Oikawa himself, though, was more of a self-confessed heartbreaker than the ruthless, conniving playboy image that his mannerisms and behaviours had conjured for him. He really couldn’t do a thing about the fact that girls seemed to fall in love with him so easily - he wasn’t one to give his heart away so casually, and so the end result was always a firm, but polite, ‘no’ on his part and tears on the confessor’s. It wasn’t his fault that he was just so damn charming and handsome that he had to crumble the hope of girls before they got any further carried away - really, it wasn’t!

He’d only had a grand total of three girlfriends in his life - two, if you didn’t count the four-day relationship he had back at the beginning of middle school. The second started and ended during his first year at Aobajousai, involving a girl whom couldn’t take the attention he drew in and that he severed ties with for the better of them both. The third had ended halfway into his final year because she could not and would not handle his utter dedication for volleyball. The only time he was ever grateful for his reputation of breaking up with girls first was then - Lord knew his pride couldn’t handle it if it got around that she had ended it over him being more interested in volleyball.

He knew it was in the attention he lavished girls with, that special, destructive kind he would direct to one particular girl that would make her fall head over heels while he remained safely distant but outwardly reachable that was the cause of his notorious reputation. He knew the claims weren’t entirely true, but he couldn’t be bothered to dispel them, either. He liked it - the thrill it caused to course down his spine, the interest that people would shower upon him that boosted that ego of his a little bit more. What was wrong with it? A little harmless touch here, a lingering glance there… it was all fine, as long as he didn’t let it get too far gone.

Oikawa Tooru was perfectly content to ride out his infamousness until the days it ceased to exist, whether that be sooner or later.

That is, until he met you.

~P~

He didn’t know then, and he still didn’t know when he looked back on it years later.

There was no real reason for you to catch his eye - at least, at first. It was just another boring day surrounded by the same boring people, listening to the same boring teacher speak about some boring subject, and you were just another grey face to a bored, bored boy.

You shouldn’t have made a difference, but you did.

“We have a new student joining us today.”

He remembered the moment as clearly as the sky was blue. You were a normal-looking thing, nothing too spectacular, nothing too eye-catching, but cute and simple. You had a sweet, nervous smile and innocently sparkling eyes as you introduced yourself and he could already feel himself both disregarding you and expecting your eventual admiration for him. It was only natural, of course.

When he smiled at you as you took your seat next to him, he felt a bizarre rush when you returned it - this wasn’t any different than how he usually was, and neither was your response: a pretty, wide grin that dimpled your cheeks and stained them pink. He’d seen the same expression litter many a girl’s face, yet something about yours made him falter in the most minute of ways, and that’s when it happened - his own interest sparked in an ordinary girl.

It was also then that he made his first mistake - underestimating [Last Name] [First Name].

~P~

He was so sure he had you solved the second he laid eyes on you.

Adorable and uncomplicated, fragile and easily attached. You exuded traits like these - a particular innocence, a blissful ignorance he found refreshing.

He liked the idea of being the one to ruin it, a thought that both scared and excited him. He wanted to be your first experience, the one that you would remember and cherish, hate and regret. He wanted to mark you.

You were so accommodating, immediately latching onto and soaking in his attention. You ignored - or did you just not notice them at all? - the glares and grumbles you received as he looked at, stayed with only you.

You got on well with the volleyball team, and Oikawa couldn’t help but be entertained by the way Kindaichi seemed to shut down around you. Iwaizumi disapproved of what he knew he was doing, but Oikawa brushed him off - “She’s so precious, Iwa-chan, how can I not like her?” - and that was that. It certainly helped Oikawa’s case that the ace of Seijou managed to strike up a pleasant friendship with you from the get-go, built between the minutes not spent with Oikawa, based on a small, gentle fondness and mutual interests.

Oikawa didn’t really get why you found Iwaizumi’s jokes funny, because they weren’t, or how you both cared for that one stupid book so much that you could talk about it for days straight, but it didn’t matter as long as Iwaizumi liked you enough to keep silent about Oikawa’s frivolous tendencies.

He was rather surprised by how agreeable you were - you were always there to talk, to go out for a walk or to eat lunch with. You showed up to each of his practices and games to cheer him on. You were open and easy to be around, always willing to listen to him ramble about volleyball or whatever else without a judgement to pass or bias to place, and the more time that Oikawa spent with you, the more he legitimately found himself seeking you out.

You weren’t difficult to get addicted to.

~P~

Oikawa learned that beneath a pliable and soft exterior was a cheeky, interesting personality. Quiet outings and short conversations turned playful and sarcastic, words laced with undertones and feather-light touches lined with teasing promises that continued to stoke that curious flame within him.

The obedience and compliance disappeared - you would make excuses about why you couldn’t meet him, became a little too familiar with other boys, didn’t look his way as often as you might’ve. You reeled him in a little more each day.

There was a part of him that was annoyed, but a bigger one that was attracted to this 180 of his original view of you - he liked that you didn’t just play into his hands, but rather danced around his intentions and placed your own upon him. You were new, you were different, and you were beginning to lead Oikawa by his own leash.

Suddenly, you were all he could see and you were no longer simple nor cute, but beautiful and bright and all that he could think about. The way your eyes lit up, how your hair shone, your lips quirked or your hand brushed his… he found himself focusing on the tiniest of details until he became so worked up he just had to see you.

But beyond all of that, the run-arounds and toying, there was affection. A mutual, true affection that stopped Oikawa sometimes, made him consider just what he was getting into for once, but you always managed to root your influence more deeply than the uncertainty blooming in the depths of his mind.

He never imagined being the one getting kissed rather than doing the kissing, but when the time came, you were the one who leaned in and captured his lips first, and when you pulled away he couldn’t help but follow your retreating smile. It was short and soft but then rough, lingering, long, but you always held him so tenderly, so gently. He basked in you that night, bathed in the attention he usually poured out, relished in it, in that quiet, warm love that was so uniquely yours.

There were long, needy looks, short, knowing glances, impatient fingers and roaming hands and hearts. Dates where he could just be with you for hours and he never once felt the need to branch off or leave you. The time you spent apart caused him to pine, rather than you. He laid in bed once with you and looked, admired, adored and swore he had never been happier than then.

He drank you in and just like that, he was drowning in you and to Oikawa it was a sweet, sweet way to go. He didn’t care to step back re-evaluate when he was so deep within you.

It was all so gradual, but his fall was anything but.

Hard and all-too-fast, Oikawa Tooru was in love.

~P~

Oikawa had given all of himself to you before he realized that you hadn’t done the same.

It was as if his foggy mind was beginning to clear when he saw you that day with Iwaizumi, standing in a corner, so close, too close. He didn’t know when he had let his judgement become so hazed, but a certain clarity had dawned on him in that moment, only to be replaced by an angry confusion, an abrupt, baseless jealousy.

Why?

He continued to fall from a high from that point on and he started to notice the little things - the reluctance in a kiss, an excuse or three too many, a silent refusal to touch. And yet, on the flip side, there you were with someone else - with his best friend - giggling and smiling away, acting like you weren’t completely sidelining him.

He didn’t understand and he didn’t want to - since when had you and Iwaizumi gotten so friendly? Every interaction he witnessed he replayed over in his head, wondering, agonizing over what was going on. Had you two always been that close? Since when did you start cheering Iwaizumi on, too? Spending your lunches and breaks and weekends with him? When did he go from Iwaizumi-san to Iwa-chan to just Hajime?

When had you begun to leave Oikawa behind for someone else?

He liked to try to trick himself into thinking he was overreacting, that it wasn’t real but the warm smiles and heartfelt words were and this wasn’t something he could simply deny nor ignore. With this came the realization and acceptance that it wasn’t all as sudden as he believed - he would lay there and think back and would see what his mind, his heart had originally blocked out when he thought that he was the only one you turned your gaze to. Small things led to bigger ones - he recalled how you would hand Iwaizumi towels and water first at the end of practice, how your calls of encouragement were that much louder for him, how you made plans with him and smiled that much wider at him than at Oikawa.

It was in the red cheeks and stuttered sentences between you and his best friend that he knew he was being left behind, however slowly or not he couldn’t know.

The pain, at first, was jolting, fresh and impossible to process to a boy still too deep in love with a girl who would no longer look his way. His chest stung and burned and constricted and he wanted to know everything - when you stopped loving him, when you realized it was no longer him but Iwaizumi. Later on, it was deep and aching, spreading sore throughout his entire body and making him feel as heavy as a tonne. The pain sunk low and throbbed, an ever-constant reminder of what he was losing.

Oikawa could barely stop himself from texting you over and over and over, that part of himself that knew he couldn’t handle it just keeping him from doing so. When he was with you, he felt so overwhelmed, so overcome and in love that he felt like he might shatter, explode with something he could not contain or explain, and he needed to know when it suddenly wasn’t enough for you when it had been everything to him.

He wanted to know but he already did - but at the same time, he hadn’t a clue and didn’t want one, either. And so he acted like nothing was different, or at least, he tried; keeping the venom out of his tone and the grimace off his face was difficult when he saw either of the two and jealousy was the only thing that consumed him.

It wasn’t long until there were rumours that the stubborn Iwaizumi Hajime had confessed to a girl and that Oikawa’s girlfriend was planning on leaving him - even one about the two of them having gotten caught kissing - and Oikawa had reached his breaking point and Iwaizumi finally came up to him about it.

“[First Name]… wants to talk to you.”

He hated the way your name sounded coming off of Iwaizumi’s lips, and even more so that he felt so maliciously towards both of you - towards the boy in front of him, his best friend since childhood. Iwaizumi didn’t pretend to hide his guilt, though it remained unspoken. He met Oikawa’s eye for but a second and his hands fidgeted in a way unlike himself, strained and awkward.

Oikawa could do nothing but nod at him, and he almost wanted to laugh at the fact that you had gotten Iwaizumi to retrieve him for you, but he also knew he wouldn’t have sought you out had he not been confronted, either.

Just as he was about to wander off to find you, he was stopped dead by Iwaizumi’s next words.

“I… I’m sorry. I do love her, you know. I love her.”

It wasn’t a question, but a statement. A sure-fire admittance of what had taken place between you and him. And the surge of twin anger and pain that it caused to form in Oikawa’s chest was so stifling he couldn’t find the breath to speak up, and so instead he left Iwaizumi standing there in a quiet classroom, silently, reluctantly acknowledged.

You were sitting on the bench you had always eaten lunch with him at. The memory caused disgust rather than fondness to bubble up in Oikawa’s gut. There was no pleasant greeting, no fake smile or anything to cushion the blow or bring about a false sense of warmth or security. You waited but a few long seconds before uttering,

“It’s not that I don’t like you, Tooru - but I’m… I’m in love with him, a-and I don’t think it’s right for either of us to continue on like this when I care about someone else like that.”

He didn’t know if it hurt more or less to hear it from you. He felt dulled from Iwaizumi’s confession, but something about hearing it from a girl he still was in love with hammered that imaginary final nail into his heart, severing that last connection that he still had. He mimicked his reaction to Iwaizumi’s - he nodded, and stood up, forcing himself to simply say, “I agree.” He needed to hear it - from himself. “If you’re in love with Iwa-chan then who am I to let our relationship get in the way of it?”

It hurt the most to hear himself admit it, he found.

~P~

The weeks that followed were interspersed with awkwardness from all parties. It was still some time before you and Iwaizumi officially began dating, but Oikawa knew better - when he saw the two of you, he knew it had been going on the second you had ended it with him.

Of course, there were people with questions, but most of them were smart enough not to actually voice them to Oikawa. Everyone knew better.

The emotions he felt were a sickening mix. Some days, there was nothing. Others, he was consumed with a raging sadness followed by a deep-seated fury in a damaging, dangerous culmination know simply as jealousy, while most it was some kind of volatile mess of everything and more.

He hated that he had fallen in love with you, he hated that he still was, and that he could never actually hate you or Iwaizumi. You were the girl he was in love with, but you were also his friend and Iwaizumi was his best friend - try as he might, he knew that he couldn’t truly hate either of you; that one day, he would have to stop this and go back to repairing his relationships with the both of you. But now was not the time for that. Not now - not right now.

A month after it happened, he understood something. He thought about all the times before you that he had toyed around with a girl’s feelings, flirted with her like it was nothing, treated their relationship like it was a pleasant convenience. His mind filled the moments he had told them he wasn’t interested when they finally confessed, and how sad they would become, how immediate the sense of loss was - how but a few days later, he would be chatting up the next prettiest girl who caught his eye.

He realized he got exactly what he had been dishing out the entire time, and could only laugh-cry at the irony of it.

Heartbreaker was a game two could play, but only one would win, and this time, Oikawa Tooru had lost.

Description
Oikawa Tooru, despite the overall majority opinion, wasn’t really a player.

Sure, one could question many a jealous, spiteful boy or rejected, saddened girl from Aobajousai and receive the exact opposite response - that he was, very much so, a player. After all, a boy who had every girl in his general vicinity fawning over him couldn’t not be one, right? It was a well known fact in other schools, rather than just his own, that many girls had been reduced to tears after he had refused their confessions, and the rumour constantly spinning around was that he had a new girlfriend, prettier than the previous, every month. Boys didn’t understand his popularity while girls pined for just the chance to catch his interest for but a moment.

In the eyes of people that did not know him, Oikawa Tooru was, indeed, a merciless player.

Oikawa himself, though, was more of a self-confessed heartbreaker than the ruthless, conniving playboy image that his mannerisms and behaviours had conjured for him. He really couldn’t do a thing about the fact that girls seemed to fall in love with him so easily - he wasn’t one to give his heart away so casually, and so the end result was always a firm, but polite, ‘no’ on his part and tears on the confessor’s. It wasn’t his fault that he was just so damn charming and handsome that he had to crumble the hope of girls before they got any further carried away - really, it wasn’t!

He’d only had a grand total of three girlfriends in his life - two, if you didn’t count the four-day relationship he had back at the beginning of middle school. The second started and ended during his first year at Aobajousai, involving a girl whom couldn’t take the attention he drew in and that he severed ties with for the better of them both. The third had ended halfway into his final year because she could not and would not handle his utter dedication for volleyball. The only time he was ever grateful for his reputation of breaking up with girls first was then - Lord knew his pride couldn’t handle it if it got around that she had ended it over him being more interested in volleyball.

He knew it was in the attention he lavished girls with, that special, destructive kind he would direct to one particular girl that would make her fall head over heels while he remained safely distant but outwardly reachable that was the cause of his notorious reputation. He knew the claims weren’t entirely true, but he couldn’t be bothered to dispel them, either. He liked it - the thrill it caused to course down his spine, the interest that people would shower upon him that boosted that ego of his a little bit more. What was wrong with it? A little harmless touch here, a lingering glance there… it was all fine, as long as he didn’t let it get too far gone.

Oikawa Tooru was perfectly content to ride out his infamousness until the days it ceased to exist, whether that be sooner or later.

That is, until he met you.

~P~

He didn’t know then, and he still didn’t know when he looked back on it years later.

There was no real reason for you to catch his eye - at least, at first. It was just another boring day surrounded by the same boring people, listening to the same boring teacher speak about some boring subject, and you were just another grey face to a bored, bored boy.

You shouldn’t have made a difference, but you did.

“We have a new student joining us today.”

He remembered the moment as clearly as the sky was blue. You were a normal-looking thing, nothing too spectacular, nothing too eye-catching, but cute and simple. You had a sweet, nervous smile and innocently sparkling eyes as you introduced yourself and he could already feel himself both disregarding you and expecting your eventual admiration for him. It was only natural, of course.

When he smiled at you as you took your seat next to him, he felt a bizarre rush when you returned it - this wasn’t any different than how he usually was, and neither was your response: a pretty, wide grin that dimpled your cheeks and stained them pink. He’d seen the same expression litter many a girl’s face, yet something about yours made him falter in the most minute of ways, and that’s when it happened - his own interest sparked in an ordinary girl.

It was also then that he made his first mistake - underestimating [Last Name] [First Name].

~P~

He was so sure he had you solved the second he laid eyes on you.

Adorable and uncomplicated, fragile and easily attached. You exuded traits like these - a particular innocence, a blissful ignorance he found refreshing.

He liked the idea of being the one to ruin it, a thought that both scared and excited him. He wanted to be your first experience, the one that you would remember and cherish, hate and regret. He wanted to mark you.

You were so accommodating, immediately latching onto and soaking in his attention. You ignored - or did you just not notice them at all? - the glares and grumbles you received as he looked at, stayed with only you.

You got on well with the volleyball team, and Oikawa couldn’t help but be entertained by the way Kindaichi seemed to shut down around you. Iwaizumi disapproved of what he knew he was doing, but Oikawa brushed him off - “She’s so precious, Iwa-chan, how can I not like her?” - and that was that. It certainly helped Oikawa’s case that the ace of Seijou managed to strike up a pleasant friendship with you from the get-go, built between the minutes not spent with Oikawa, based on a small, gentle fondness and mutual interests.

Oikawa didn’t really get why you found Iwaizumi’s jokes funny, because they weren’t, or how you both cared for that one stupid book so much that you could talk about it for days straight, but it didn’t matter as long as Iwaizumi liked you enough to keep silent about Oikawa’s frivolous tendencies.

He was rather surprised by how agreeable you were - you were always there to talk, to go out for a walk or to eat lunch with. You showed up to each of his practices and games to cheer him on. You were open and easy to be around, always willing to listen to him ramble about volleyball or whatever else without a judgement to pass or bias to place, and the more time that Oikawa spent with you, the more he legitimately found himself seeking you out.

You weren’t difficult to get addicted to.

~P~

Oikawa learned that beneath a pliable and soft exterior was a cheeky, interesting personality. Quiet outings and short conversations turned playful and sarcastic, words laced with undertones and feather-light touches lined with teasing promises that continued to stoke that curious flame within him.

The obedience and compliance disappeared - you would make excuses about why you couldn’t meet him, became a little too familiar with other boys, didn’t look his way as often as you might’ve. You reeled him in a little more each day.

There was a part of him that was annoyed, but a bigger one that was attracted to this 180 of his original view of you - he liked that you didn’t just play into his hands, but rather danced around his intentions and placed your own upon him. You were new, you were different, and you were beginning to lead Oikawa by his own leash.

Suddenly, you were all he could see and you were no longer simple nor cute, but beautiful and bright and all that he could think about. The way your eyes lit up, how your hair shone, your lips quirked or your hand brushed his… he found himself focusing on the tiniest of details until he became so worked up he just had to see you.

But beyond all of that, the run-arounds and toying, there was affection. A mutual, true affection that stopped Oikawa sometimes, made him consider just what he was getting into for once, but you always managed to root your influence more deeply than the uncertainty blooming in the depths of his mind.

He never imagined being the one getting kissed rather than doing the kissing, but when the time came, you were the one who leaned in and captured his lips first, and when you pulled away he couldn’t help but follow your retreating smile. It was short and soft but then rough, lingering, long, but you always held him so tenderly, so gently. He basked in you that night, bathed in the attention he usually poured out, relished in it, in that quiet, warm love that was so uniquely yours.

There were long, needy looks, short, knowing glances, impatient fingers and roaming hands and hearts. Dates where he could just be with you for hours and he never once felt the need to branch off or leave you. The time you spent apart caused him to pine, rather than you. He laid in bed once with you and looked, admired, adored and swore he had never been happier than then.

He drank you in and just like that, he was drowning in you and to Oikawa it was a sweet, sweet way to go. He didn’t care to step back re-evaluate when he was so deep within you.

It was all so gradual, but his fall was anything but.

Hard and all-too-fast, Oikawa Tooru was in love.

~P~

Oikawa had given all of himself to you before he realized that you hadn’t done the same.

It was as if his foggy mind was beginning to clear when he saw you that day with Iwaizumi, standing in a corner, so close, too close. He didn’t know when he had let his judgement become so hazed, but a certain clarity had dawned on him in that moment, only to be replaced by an angry confusion, an abrupt, baseless jealousy.

Why?

He continued to fall from a high from that point on and he started to notice the little things - the reluctance in a kiss, an excuse or three too many, a silent refusal to touch. And yet, on the flip side, there you were with someone else - with his best friend - giggling and smiling away, acting like you weren’t completely sidelining him.

He didn’t understand and he didn’t want to - since when had you and Iwaizumi gotten so friendly? Every interaction he witnessed he replayed over in his head, wondering, agonizing over what was going on. Had you two always been that close? Since when did you start cheering Iwaizumi on, too? Spending your lunches and breaks and weekends with him? When did he go from Iwaizumi-san to Iwa-chan to just Hajime?

When had you begun to leave Oikawa behind for someone else?

He liked to try to trick himself into thinking he was overreacting, that it wasn’t real but the warm smiles and heartfelt words were and this wasn’t something he could simply deny nor ignore. With this came the realization and acceptance that it wasn’t all as sudden as he believed - he would lay there and think back and would see what his mind, his heart had originally blocked out when he thought that he was the only one you turned your gaze to. Small things led to bigger ones - he recalled how you would hand Iwaizumi towels and water first at the end of practice, how your calls of encouragement were that much louder for him, how you made plans with him and smiled that much wider at him than at Oikawa.

It was in the red cheeks and stuttered sentences between you and his best friend that he knew he was being left behind, however slowly or not he couldn’t know.

The pain, at first, was jolting, fresh and impossible to process to a boy still too deep in love with a girl who would no longer look his way. His chest stung and burned and constricted and he wanted to know everything - when you stopped loving him, when you realized it was no longer him but Iwaizumi. Later on, it was deep and aching, spreading sore throughout his entire body and making him feel as heavy as a tonne. The pain sunk low and throbbed, an ever-constant reminder of what he was losing.

Oikawa could barely stop himself from texting you over and over and over, that part of himself that knew he couldn’t handle it just keeping him from doing so. When he was with you, he felt so overwhelmed, so overcome and in love that he felt like he might shatter, explode with something he could not contain or explain, and he needed to know when it suddenly wasn’t enough for you when it had been everything to him.

He wanted to know but he already did - but at the same time, he hadn’t a clue and didn’t want one, either. And so he acted like nothing was different, or at least, he tried; keeping the venom out of his tone and the grimace off his face was difficult when he saw either of the two and jealousy was the only thing that consumed him.

It wasn’t long until there were rumours that the stubborn Iwaizumi Hajime had confessed to a girl and that Oikawa’s girlfriend was planning on leaving him - even one about the two of them having gotten caught kissing - and Oikawa had reached his breaking point and Iwaizumi finally came up to him about it.

“[First Name]… wants to talk to you.”

He hated the way your name sounded coming off of Iwaizumi’s lips, and even more so that he felt so maliciously towards both of you - towards the boy in front of him, his best friend since childhood. Iwaizumi didn’t pretend to hide his guilt, though it remained unspoken. He met Oikawa’s eye for but a second and his hands fidgeted in a way unlike himself, strained and awkward.

Oikawa could do nothing but nod at him, and he almost wanted to laugh at the fact that you had gotten Iwaizumi to retrieve him for you, but he also knew he wouldn’t have sought you out had he not been confronted, either.

Just as he was about to wander off to find you, he was stopped dead by Iwaizumi’s next words.

“I… I’m sorry. I do love her, you know. I love her.”

It wasn’t a question, but a statement. A sure-fire admittance of what had taken place between you and him. And the surge of twin anger and pain that it caused to form in Oikawa’s chest was so stifling he couldn’t find the breath to speak up, and so instead he left Iwaizumi standing there in a quiet classroom, silently, reluctantly acknowledged.

You were sitting on the bench you had always eaten lunch with him at. The memory caused disgust rather than fondness to bubble up in Oikawa’s gut. There was no pleasant greeting, no fake smile or anything to cushion the blow or bring about a false sense of warmth or security. You waited but a few long seconds before uttering,

“It’s not that I don’t like you, Tooru - but I’m… I’m in love with him, a-and I don’t think it’s right for either of us to continue on like this when I care about someone else like that.”

He didn’t know if it hurt more or less to hear it from you. He felt dulled from Iwaizumi’s confession, but something about hearing it from a girl he still was in love with hammered that imaginary final nail into his heart, severing that last connection that he still had. He mimicked his reaction to Iwaizumi’s - he nodded, and stood up, forcing himself to simply say, “I agree.” He needed to hear it - from himself. “If you’re in love with Iwa-chan then who am I to let our relationship get in the way of it?”

It hurt the most to hear himself admit it, he found.

~P~

The weeks that followed were interspersed with awkwardness from all parties. It was still some time before you and Iwaizumi officially began dating, but Oikawa knew better - when he saw the two of you, he knew it had been going on the second you had ended it with him.

Of course, there were people with questions, but most of them were smart enough not to actually voice them to Oikawa. Everyone knew better.

The emotions he felt were a sickening mix. Some days, there was nothing. Others, he was consumed with a raging sadness followed by a deep-seated fury in a damaging, dangerous culmination know simply as jealousy, while most it was some kind of volatile mess of everything and more.

He hated that he had fallen in love with you, he hated that he still was, and that he could never actually hate you or Iwaizumi. You were the girl he was in love with, but you were also his friend and Iwaizumi was his best friend - try as he might, he knew that he couldn’t truly hate either of you; that one day, he would have to stop this and go back to repairing his relationships with the both of you. But now was not the time for that. Not now - not right now.

A month after it happened, he understood something. He thought about all the times before you that he had toyed around with a girl’s feelings, flirted with her like it was nothing, treated their relationship like it was a pleasant convenience. His mind filled the moments he had told them he wasn’t interested when they finally confessed, and how sad they would become, how immediate the sense of loss was - how but a few days later, he would be chatting up the next prettiest girl who caught his eye.

He realized he got exactly what he had been dishing out the entire time, and could only laugh-cry at the irony of it.

Heartbreaker was a game two could play, but only one would win, and this time, Oikawa Tooru had lost.