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Description
Okay, she's not really a princess but to Aischunai, it feels like she might as well be. She is a girl from the wealthy part of the big city- Kurruithshyun. She likes a lot of things about living up high literally and metaphorically in the city. She lives in what might as well be labeled a palace, has very fancy things and gets to go out and shop and spend time with her friends and basically do whatever she wants.... within the limits that her position as a wealthy girl holds. There’s a lot of pressure on her shoulders to be perfect. Act and dress and speak extremely well, perfect manners and everything. If she were to mess up, the family name could get smeared, if that happened people wouldn’t respect her father, and if that caused him to lose his position, he would get less work and they would go into poverty before they knew what has hit them. It had happened hundreds of times before. Somebody from some family did or said the wrong thing, and the rumours spread like plague. Their lives were shattered, and nobody really knew exactly what became of them, because who would actually talk to them? There just go more rumours about how they ended up and soon people just forget. Her dad swore that would never happen to his family, and so Aischunai was always under a very strict watch. People absolutely adored her, loved her, admired her, especially in regards to good behaviour. There were ways that kids often misbehaved as a result of being privileged- and that was acceptable because it showed the wealth of the family. But Aischunai didn’t even misbehave this way. She was always polite to the adults no matter what and it was noticed and admired in her.
It hurt.
Aischunai would get home and collapse on her bed, exhausted not physically from labour work like poor people, but mentally from emotional strain that nobody else understood. Everybody insisted she had a perfect life but she didn’t feel that way. She wanted out... when she got older. She wanted to please her parents, but it was too much. She wanted to make things. She so enjoyed craft. She taught herself hand sewing, embroidery, mirror work and pretty patterns that were time consuming but enjoyable. It was her getaway, doing manual work with her hands, not having to worry about how she looks or how to respond to people, but her parents wished she would focus more on maintaining a good image, being seen by other rich people and inviting friends over to show off the house. And when we say show off the house, that is really all inviting you’d friends over really consists of her. You don’t invite friends over if you don’t have something new to show, everybody buys new things all the time. If you don’t have something new, your guests will have no surprise and subject of entertainment and become bored and not want to come back. Literally- it was ridiculous in Aischunai’s eyes, but it was completely true and she was expected to entertain every time they made a new purchase.
It didn’t feel like friendship to Aischunai at all. It felt empty and hollow. She just wished that somebody cared about her, to have a friend to talk to about deeper things, make ideas and learn with, complain about problems together and brainstorm solutions , whisper in hushed voices and giggle mischievously and touch each other’s arm and play with each other’s hair (something she had seen the middle to lower class kids to) break rules together and make their own life. But really nobody cared about her very much at all. She hates feeling like if she messed up and did something wrong, she would be abandoned by these people who she genuinely cared about.
She wants more. Or different anyway. She would never admit it, but she dreams of being a middle or even lower class girl who makes lots of craft and sells it for coins and uses the coins to buy food and cook for a family or friends who all sit and eat it together and talk about all the stuff they wanted to do tomorrow to make the next days coins... it sounded dreamy in an emotional way rather than a physical way, and she could not put her finger on why she wanted it, but she always practiced craft and handy work to make sure if she ever messed up, she would be prepared.
Her parents wanted her to work super hard on not messing up so they never go into poverty
But Aischunai doesn’t see that as realistic, to just hope against hope that it will never happen amongst such a wide range of risks, and because that’s a problem for them, she decides the best solution is to be prepared for how to make enough money to survive poverty if that ever happens (which is likely considering how easy it is to mess up.) she’s innovative, and that wasn’t what her parents wanted.
She trains for the wrong thing in her parents eyes, but her gut and her brain sad her heart all tell her to do it.

Description
Okay, she's not really a princess but to Aischunai, it feels like she might as well be. She is a girl from the wealthy part of the big city- Kurruithshyun. She likes a lot of things about living up high literally and metaphorically in the city. She lives in what might as well be labeled a palace, has very fancy things and gets to go out and shop and spend time with her friends and basically do whatever she wants.... within the limits that her position as a wealthy girl holds. There’s a lot of pressure on her shoulders to be perfect. Act and dress and speak extremely well, perfect manners and everything. If she were to mess up, the family name could get smeared, if that happened people wouldn’t respect her father, and if that caused him to lose his position, he would get less work and they would go into poverty before they knew what has hit them. It had happened hundreds of times before. Somebody from some family did or said the wrong thing, and the rumours spread like plague. Their lives were shattered, and nobody really knew exactly what became of them, because who would actually talk to them? There just go more rumours about how they ended up and soon people just forget. Her dad swore that would never happen to his family, and so Aischunai was always under a very strict watch. People absolutely adored her, loved her, admired her, especially in regards to good behaviour. There were ways that kids often misbehaved as a result of being privileged- and that was acceptable because it showed the wealth of the family. But Aischunai didn’t even misbehave this way. She was always polite to the adults no matter what and it was noticed and admired in her.
It hurt.
Aischunai would get home and collapse on her bed, exhausted not physically from labour work like poor people, but mentally from emotional strain that nobody else understood. Everybody insisted she had a perfect life but she didn’t feel that way. She wanted out... when she got older. She wanted to please her parents, but it was too much. She wanted to make things. She so enjoyed craft. She taught herself hand sewing, embroidery, mirror work and pretty patterns that were time consuming but enjoyable. It was her getaway, doing manual work with her hands, not having to worry about how she looks or how to respond to people, but her parents wished she would focus more on maintaining a good image, being seen by other rich people and inviting friends over to show off the house. And when we say show off the house, that is really all inviting you’d friends over really consists of her. You don’t invite friends over if you don’t have something new to show, everybody buys new things all the time. If you don’t have something new, your guests will have no surprise and subject of entertainment and become bored and not want to come back. Literally- it was ridiculous in Aischunai’s eyes, but it was completely true and she was expected to entertain every time they made a new purchase.
It didn’t feel like friendship to Aischunai at all. It felt empty and hollow. She just wished that somebody cared about her, to have a friend to talk to about deeper things, make ideas and learn with, complain about problems together and brainstorm solutions , whisper in hushed voices and giggle mischievously and touch each other’s arm and play with each other’s hair (something she had seen the middle to lower class kids to) break rules together and make their own life. But really nobody cared about her very much at all. She hates feeling like if she messed up and did something wrong, she would be abandoned by these people who she genuinely cared about.
She wants more. Or different anyway. She would never admit it, but she dreams of being a middle or even lower class girl who makes lots of craft and sells it for coins and uses the coins to buy food and cook for a family or friends who all sit and eat it together and talk about all the stuff they wanted to do tomorrow to make the next days coins... it sounded dreamy in an emotional way rather than a physical way, and she could not put her finger on why she wanted it, but she always practiced craft and handy work to make sure if she ever messed up, she would be prepared.
Her parents wanted her to work super hard on not messing up so they never go into poverty
But Aischunai doesn’t see that as realistic, to just hope against hope that it will never happen amongst such a wide range of risks, and because that’s a problem for them, she decides the best solution is to be prepared for how to make enough money to survive poverty if that ever happens (which is likely considering how easy it is to mess up.) she’s innovative, and that wasn’t what her parents wanted.
She trains for the wrong thing in her parents eyes, but her gut and her brain sad her heart all tell her to do it.