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forty2 — Paranoia
Published: 2004-11-20 05:01:23 +0000 UTC; Views: 69; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 2
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Description
A skewed perspectiveWhat do I see?
Life in chaos
A terror building inside of me
Sleep is elusive
Tired watchful eyes fret
What do I perceive in the darkness?
A growing unnamed threat
Goosebumps raised on skin
Hair standing on end
Every shadow hides
The monster around the bend
Being subjected daily
to this fear factory
'Til I snap and I stalk the streets
Killing all I see
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Comments: 10
I like the short stubby feeling of your poem. It creates a sort of... unease (is that a word...no, right?).
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Sure it is. The overal strcuture, apart from the rhyme, is similar to Cold Silence.
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simply superb
geez u rock, i walk outta the comp, ur gonna defeat me nehow
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Naah, not really. You rule as a poet, and let the competition continue!
There isnt much difference between the numbers anyhoo.
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hahaha thanks but i step out
nooo ur the king im a subject
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simply superb
geez u rock, i walk outta the comp, ur gonna defeat me nehow
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Its good, but theres something about the last stanza im not too happy about, im not sure what exactly, seeing as its a spoken word it may be the rythm or timing, ill tell you if i figure it out
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You're right about that. It does'nt flow too well, I know.
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awesome...one of ur best yet
especially
Sleep is elusive
Tired watchful eyes fret
What do I perceive in the darkness?
A growing unnamed threat
great lines and imagination
👍: 0 ⏩: 1