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I remember.
The way I lay cradled in your arms in the back of your mom's minivan.
As we drove home from the best day of my life.
I remember how you kissed me in front of your sister's friends and your parents.
And I was so proud to call you mine.

I knew you loved me.
But then it all came to a screeching halt on November 3rd.
You called me. "Kara, we need to talk."
"Sure, what's up?"
"Kara, I think we should break up."
The castle you built for me with love crumbled into the sea I drowned in.
"Okay. Sure. I have to go eat dinner now."
"Kara, it's 9:30 PM."
"Oh. Right. Yeah. Bye."
Click.
I ran upstairs and clutched the bear you gave me, slightly sticky from Shaggy chewing on the ear.
I cried myself to sleep that night, even though I told everyone I'd be okay.

Who else could save me from myself?
Who else would understand my inability to eat in front of them?
You let me be myself for four glorious months.

I miss you
Even with the nightmares I had when you left, I miss you.
Even though you pushed too far too fast, I miss you.

So tonight, I'll go to bed.
I'll sleep with the teddy bear you gave me tight to my chest, because it's the only thing that lets me sleep at night now.

I love you. I'm sorry I couldn't say it before.
I know now that I love you still with everything that I can give.
I love you more than you loved me.
And you loved me through my breakdowns and my shutdowns.

I love you, and it will never, ever be enough.