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GeorgeJhon — STABB EPISODE 5
Published: 2010-10-17 22:44:16 +0000 UTC; Views: 11325; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 2
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Makosi - Manipulator, Big Brother UK6 3rd PlaceMinerva Mink - Whore, SFC4 6th place
Montana - Bitch, SFC3 1st place
Jun - Fake Backstabber, Big Brother US4 1st place
Laura - MamaBear, Survivor Samoa 10th place
Karen Walker - Spoilt Brat, Will and Grace
Regina George - Queen Bee, Mean Girls
Shabby - Lesbian, Big Brother UK11 Walked
The Stacy Kimball - Bitchfacer, Survivor Fiji 6th place
Lady Gaga - Wannabe Madonna, Singer
Madonna - Madonna, Singer
New York/Na Onka - Famewhore, Reality TV contestant
Peach - Princess, SuperMario
Emma Frost - Telepathic Mutant, X-Men
Yzma - Diabolic Villain, The Emperor's New Groove
Jigglypuff - Controversial Casting Choice, Pokemon
EPISODE 5
Previously on STABB goddesses..
The contestants were surprised by an exciting twist..
NEW YORK YOU'RE OUT. WELCOME TO.. NA ONKA!
The ladies had to fight to win the heart of a hunky bachelor..
HE'S GRIFF SWOOSO!
And while some where trying to seduce him..
GET YOUR GODDAMN COCK OUT!
Others were fighting..
YOU'RE GOING DOWN BLONDE WHORES!
Shabby went insane and decided to quit..
I'm making bacon out of your cock
WHO IS GONNA BE ELIMINATED TONIGHT?
MORNING OF DAY 6
Jiggly conf: Jiggly jigjig jiggly! Jiggly jigjigjig jijijiggly?!?! Jiggly : D jiggly!
Na Onka conf: SO YESTERDAY NIGHT FABIO KEPT ME IN DA GAME BECAUSE HE'S SCARED OF ME AND YOU KNOW WHY?! BECAUSE MY NAME'S NOT FOOL, IT'S NA ONKA AND IM NOT GOING HOME THIS EARLY. THE BITCH BETTER HOPE I DON'T WIN BECAUSE IMMA RIP HIS HAIR OFF AND THROW IT INTO THE FIRE.
Peach conf: I'm so still not over what those ghetto whores did to myself and Regina yesterday. They were being classless cocksuckers so we had to teach them a lesson. And guess what? They're whining like little ugly thurd-sucking hoes and im so over it.
*in the kitchen the girls are eating breakfast*
Regina: Shouldn't you be eating cheese, broken-ass anthro whore?
Na Onka: YOU TALKIN TO ME WHITE GURL?
Regina: uhm are you an anthro? Dumbass ghetto hoe. I was talking to the mink-slut right there.
Nuj: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU CALL HER? RACIST BITCH I'M SO KICKING YOUR FATASS RIGHT NOW!
Peach: SHE DOES NOT HAVE A FATASS!! IT WAS ONLY THAT UGLY SKANK NAMED LINDSEY LOHAN WHO WAS JEALOUS OF REGINA'S PERFECT LOOK.
Nuj conf: Tension is running high right now in the house, and one simple comment can immediately start a row. I'm not a big fan of drama, and I don't want to lose jury votes with the girls, so I'm keeping my mouth shut..
Gaga: anyone knows how to do coffee?
Stacy: …
Stacy conf: Gaga has no allies on this team.. She's gonna get picked off, she knows it and they're getting paranoid. NOT.MY.PROBLEM. We're all adults here, there's no children.. I mean, come ON, it's STABB GODDESSES.
Karen: what's going on Madonna.. I mean Gaga?
Laura: What do you mean?
Karen: you put the boily water in with the coffee..
Stacy: yeah you don't.. *bitchface*
Laura: Guys if you know how to make it tell her how to make it!
Stacy: im not gonna tell her anything..
Gaga: you all could tell me to my face what you're talking about back there..
Laura conf: Karen and Stacy in particular are being downright rude! It kinda nauseates me to see people treated that way, it really does..
Laura: I don't know how to use it so..
Stacy: YOU HAVE TO BOIL WATER, PUT COFFEE AT THE BOTTOM, YOU POUR THE BOILING WATER ON TOP AND LET IT FIT FOR ABOUT THREE MINUTES AND THEN YOU PRESS IT DOWN AND HAVE COFFEE… simple as that.
Laura conf: This game to me is about almost immediate karma.. and why would treat other human beings that way? And in the course of the game how wouldn't they see how this would screw them in the future..?
Stacy: *drinking the coffee* my god this is like a little piece of heaven
Regina: this is all grinds..
Stacy: *BITCHFACE*
Minerva conf: Stacy and Karen are on a power trip.. they're in my alliance but if they keep acting this way then I'm going to have to something about them..
Stacy: THIS IS THE BEST DAY SO FAR!
LATER THAT DAY
GJ: HELLO BITCHES! Y'ALL SHOULD BE PROUD OF YHORESELVES FOR MAKING IT THIS FAR ^_^ SO ARENT YOU ALL EXCITED FOR THIS NEXT ROUND? I'M GOING TO ANNOUNCE WHAT IT IS RIGHT NOW.. YOU ARE ALL COMPETING..
IN THE AMAZING RACE!
YES BITCHES FOR THE FIRST TIME YOU'LL GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! SO RIGHT NOW WE'RE GOING TO DECIDE THE TEAMS.. BITCHES GROUP TOGETHER!
*the whores group together. Stacy and Karen, Peach and Regina, Makosi and Na Onka, Laura and Nuj, Minerva and Jigglypuff, Gaga is standing alone. Madonna lies on the floor dead.*
OH HOES WOULDN'T THIS BE JUST PERFECT? WELL IM BORED BY THIS OUTCOME.
REGINA YOU'RE WITH MINERVA INSTEAD.
PEACH YOU'RE WITH LAURA.
STACY GO AND SIT NEXT TO NUJ.
KAREN I'M TEAMING YOU WITH JIGGLYPUFF.
MAKOSI I'M GOING TO GRANT YOUR WISHES JUST BECAUSE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ^_^
AND GAGABITCH.. YOU'RE FINALLY GOING TO TEAM UP WITH YOUR IDOL MADONNA..
Gaga: but georgejhon, she's dead…
GeorgeJhon: excuse me are you complaining or did I mishear you?
Gaga: I just don't understand why I have to always get the short end of the stick..
GeorgeJhon: are you disrespecting me?
Gaga: No, I love you GJ, but teaming me up with Madonna is suicidal.. she's dead, she can't walk!
Grodshit: gaga it's Alison talking. You're going against the rules..
Gaga: I was just saying that Miss Ciccone doesn't feel very well..
Grodshit: I don't care, I'm going to have to remove you from the game.
Gaga: what? I'm going to team up with her if it keeps me in the game..
Groshit: Stefani, go to the diary room now.
Gaga: …alright…
GeorgeJhon: ugh, I guess then we have an odd number of people.. oh well. Madonna, your in bad shape, so I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to remove you from the game..
GAGA AND MADONNA, FOR DIFFERENT REASONS, HAVE BOTH BEEN EXPEL…
Madonna: WAIT!
GeorgeJhon, Grodshit, Regina, Peach, Nuj, Karen, Jiggly, Stacy, Minerva, Laura, Makosi, Na onka, Gaga: : O : O : O : O!
Madonna: I'M NOT LEAVING THIS GAME SO EARLY!
Gaga: Miss Ciccone you're alive..?
Madonna: HAVE YOU ALL FORGOTTEN ABOUT MY GODDESS STATUS? IM TIMELESS, ETERNAL AND INVINCIBLE.
GeorgeJhon: so you're feeling ok..?
Madonna: OF COURSE I'M FEELING OK. I HAVE NEVER FELT BETTER IN MY LIFE. I'VE SLEPT FOR THREE DAYS STRAIGHT AND THESE BITCHES NEVER EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT FEELING MY HEARTBEAT.
GeorgeJhon: so you're eligible to stay in the game..?!
Madonna: HELL YEAH I AM! And Stefani, you're back in the game too
Gaga: what? Thanks miss Ciccone!
Madonna: YOU CAN CALL ME MADONNA!
Grodshit: Madonna, it's Allison talking.
Madonna: ITS MISS CICCONE FOR YOU BITCH!
Grodshit: Do you know who you're talking to?
Madonna: DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU'RE TALKING TO?
Grodshit: Madonna I'm removing you from the game right now for disrespecting the producers.
Madonna: hahaha
Grodshit: why are you laughing?
Madonna: you're so naïve..
Grodshit: what?
Madonna: take her away boys
*yelling can be heard through the backyard*
Grodshit: LEAVE ME ALONE! WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?
???: revenge..
Grodshit: WHAT, WHAT? Oh no, oh no no no no.. Chima please don't do anything stupid, please don't do anything stupid..
BANG
Madonna: THIS IS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU MESS WITH ME. UNDERSTAND THAT BITCHES? NOW LETS MOVE ON.
Karen conf: Oh dear Madonna coming back was just so terrible and made me nauseated.. or maybe that was just the alcohol.. anyway, she hates me and I hate her botox-ed face as well. So we'll have to see who lasts longer..
Gaga conf: Madonna coming back into the game was a surprise, but her asking me if I wanted to be her partner-in-crime made me happy and a little bit horny too.. So I'm still in the game, and Grodshit is being raped and anally fucked somewhere..
Stacy conf: What the fuck does that wannabe singer want from me? She made some racists remarks about my skin tone so I had to take her out.. gawd that bitch is dumb..
GJ: So hoes are you ready to start the new round?
Travel safe…
GO!
THE RACE BEGINS
*the bitches run to their bags to retrieve their next clue*
Laura: Make your way to Piazza di Spagna..
Na Onka: WE'RE GOING TO AFRICA!
Gaga: ..it's Italy..
Na Onka: BITCH YOU MESSING WITH ME?
Makosi: Racist cunt..
Makosi conf: When I saw that Gagabitch and Madonna were on the same team I was like oh so excited about it. Myself and Na Onka were going to sabotage them for the entire round, and we would get away with it.
*while running to the car Na Onka pushes Gagabitch against a tree*
Na Onka: I HOPE JUD FALLS ON YOUR FUCKING HEAD!
Makosi: high five bitch!
*Madonna runs towards and slaps Makosi across the face*
Madonna: HIGH FIVED BITCH!
Na Onka: DON'T CHU DARE TOUCH HER, IMMA GETTING ANGRY!
Madonna/Gaga conf: G: there's clearly some hostility between Na Onka/Makosi and the two of us.. M: THOSE TWO GHETTO BITCHES ARE MESSING WITH THE WRONG STAR IM TELLING YOU! G: ..that's what I meant.. our goal this leg is to send them both home, as they are targeting us hardcore..
*meanwhile*
Peach: omg where should we go Laura?
Laura: you can call me Mama..
Laura/Peach conf: L: I was actually quite happy to be on a tribe with Peachy, because I want to get to know her better.. she's always around Regina and Jiggly and this makes me think they're having a bad influence on her.. P: this trip with Laura could definetely help me with my insecurity issues, and make me a better lady..
Laura: do you have any ideas?
Peach: I could call one of those pimp.. *cough* gentlemans from the mushroom kingdom and see where they're at.
Laura: that's a great idea sweetie, do you have anyone in mind?
Peach: kinda.. we have to find a phone..
*Minerva and Regina are watching them*
Regina: those two fuckers are looking for a phone..
Minerva: we don't need one, just look for a road!
Regina: what? Why?
Minerva: JUST FIND ONE
Minerva/Regina conf: R: as soon as Gjbitch announced the teams I was speechless. Teamed up with the most disgusting and vile animal on the planet… How do I feel now? Worse. My hair stinks of minkshit. M: you know I'm standing right here, right?
*meanwhile Karen and Jiggly are still reading the clue*
Jiggly: JIGJIG JIGGLY JIGGLY!
Karen: oh honey I don't understand what you're saying
Jiggly: JIGGJIGGLY! JIGGLYYYYY!
Karen: sweetie don't yell at me, my head is hurting..
Jiggly: Jigjig!
Karen: oh yeah that's a good idea, let me read the clue for myself..
*Stacy and Nuj are already in the cab*
Stacy: TO PIAZZA DI SPAGNA!
Nuj: BITCH YOU BETTER NOT GET US LOST, OR IMMA RIP YOUR PUSSY LIPS OUT!
???: k ma'am.
Stacy: oh hey sup Lisi?
*Na Onka and Makosi are on the road*
Makosi: So…? What are we going to do?
Na Onka: JUST TRY AND MAKE SOMEONE STOP!
Makosi: but how?
Na Onka: GURL JUST USE YOUR CHARM!
*Makosi flashes her massive tits out*
*Gaga and Madonna are still next to the clue*
Gaga: What are going to do Miss Ciccone?
Madonna: I TOLD YOU TO CALL ME MADONNA STEFANI!
????: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
???: IS THAT GAGA?
???: : O OMG ITS HER?
Gaga: whats going on?
*Minerva is on the road with Regina*
Regina: why aren't these cars stopping? We.. I'm so hot, come on!
Minerva: kiss me.
Regina: ..excuse me? ^_^
Minerva: ..kiss me.
Regina: … WHAT THE FUCK? IM NEVER, AND I SAY NEVER, GOING TO TOUCH ANYTHING WHO EATS CHEESE, SHITS ON PAVEMENTS AND HAS A PINK TAIL!
Minerva: they're not going to stop you know that?
Regina: …I.AM.NOT.GOING.TO.TOUCH.YOU.
Minerva: katy perry did it..
Regina conf: Omygod, I thought Shabby was the perverted retarded lesbian.. instead I find myself on a team with a deranged lunatic vagina-licking mink. And I'm afraid.. she's constantly trying to hit on me for whatever reasons, and my vagina isn't safe next to her..
*Peach is on her cellphone while Laura stands next to her*
Peach: it's the princess here, I need help for something.. … yeah I need someone to carry me to destination as fast as possible.. we're two people.. NO I NEED IT NOW AND DON'T YOU DARE EVER TALK TO ME LIKE THAT AGAIN STUPID TOAD.. ugh she's the only one left? K whatever, just send her now.
Laura: problem solved?
Peach: yes sweetie ^_^
Laura conf: I know that Peach has had some serious issues back at home.. she has grown up being treated like a spoilt brat for her entire life and now this reflects in her behaviour towards others.. as a strong and fit sarah palin, I know that educating young girls to the republican and catholic morals will gretaly improve how they treat others and themselves.. and this is what I've already been doing with Makosi and Nuj, and what I will do with Peach now..
*Like Peach, Karen is now talking on the phone*
Karen: No Stanley it's not the time to do that.. oh honey yeah I will after I come back.. you're such a horny little fucker *giggles*.. sweetie you have to listen to me now though.. yeah my nipples are hard as stones and they'll be even harder if you do what I'm telling you to.. I need something fast to bring me to Piazza di Spagna.. yeah that's probably ok I guess.. and yeah I'm all wet, I need a towel.. but I gotta go! It's late!
Jiggly: jiggly jiggly jiggly?!!?!
Karen: just wait for a minute or two!
*in the cab*
Lisi: where are we going girls?
Stacy: Piazza di Spagna!
Nuj: JUST HURRY COME ON WE NEED TO GET THERE FIRST!
Lisi: relax, there's time to get there..
Stacy: oh god..
Nuj: THEY'RE ALL GOING TO GET THERE BEFORE US!
Nuj conf: the italian taxi drivers got a little bit on my nerves today, but it was expected. Lisi had this chill-relax vibe to her that made me appreciate her more, but at the same time we had to be there first to ensure our lead.. so we had to think about something..
Stacy: even that mexican girl..
Lisi: … IS THAT DIABOLICAL MEXICAN GIRL IN THE RACE?
Stacy: yeah, I've been trying to get rid of her, but she's controlling the game..
Lisi: WELL IT'S TIME FOR LISI LINARES TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN!
Stacy conf: Lisi is such a fucking retarded latina dumbass. She's a fat saggy cow with absolutely no brains and I can manipulate her any time of the day, because she's so fucking stupid. And when I don't need her anymore.. well, I'll think about that later.
Stacy(to Nuj): brace yourself!
*a truck stops right next to Makosi and Na Onka*
???: come on in girls, have a seat!
Makosi: …no thanks…
Na Onka: GURL IM NOT GETTING ELIMINATED ONLY BECAUSE YOU AFRAID OF TRUCKS. HOP ON NOW!
Makosi: ok, as long as he doesn't touch me.. one baby is enough..
Na Onka: GIRL U CRAZY HUH?
*the two of them enter the bus, and sit next to the driver*
Makosi: Hey I'm Makosi and this is Na Onka..
???: do I know you?
Na Onka: WELL I JUST WON THE LATEST SEASON OF SURVIVOR IN AN UNANIMOUS VOTE!
???: Oh that's right.. well maybe you remember me too.. I'm from s9 of the show! My name's Chad!
Na Onka: PLEASURE TO MEET YOU CHAD!
*Meanwhile Gaga and Madonna…*
Madonna: they're clealry some of my fans..
???. eep its really her
???: I CANT BELIEVE SHES RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!
Madonna: I'm in a hurry I cant sign any autographs sorry!
???: who are you anyways?!
???: OMG OMG OMG ITS GAGAGAGA!
Gaga conf: So right after reading our first clue we were approached by some of my fans, and I was immediately afraid of Miss Cic.. I mean Madonna's reaction.. I was *outshining* her and it wasn't going to be pretty at all..
Gaga: hey guys I'm sorry, I love my fans, but I gotta hurry!
Madonna: ….
???: where are you goooooooing!??
Gaga: it's a race guys, me and Miss.. Madonna can't stop right now, we gotta go!
???: WE CAN HELP!
Madonna: …how?
???: we know this place better than anyone else, and he has a car!
Gaga: …oh ok guys, thanks, but Madonna is not really up for..
Madonna: …lets go, there's not enough time to talk!
Gaga: WHAT?
Madonna: ..whats your name guys?
???: I'm Coco, he's Froggy..
???: ..and I'm Joe!
*Regina and Minerva are still on the road*
Minerva: ..do you really want to get eliminated this early and have 10 people outlast you?
Regina: WELL YOU'RE GOING DOWN TOO THEN!
Minerva: it's just a kiss, nothing else.. they're going to stop for sure!
Regina: GOD, WHAT DID I GET MYSELF INTO?
*Regina lungs forward and kisses Minerva. They start getting into it*
Minerva conf: who would've thought? I would've never thought that Reginaslut had some bicurious tendencies in her.. I only asked for a kiss to make someone stop and starts getting into it and touching me up and down, in and out, and after awhile we were SURROUNDED by card wanting to give us a ride.. and something makes me think she didn't only do it for the race, but for personal pleasure too..
Regina: *slurp* *slurp*
Minerva: oh god yeah, lets just enter one of these cars and continue in there..
*The camera is back on Laura and Peach*
Peach: here it comess!!!
???: birdooooooooooo
Laura: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?
Peach: oh god ew, it's a running tranny
*Jiggly is seen looking up into the sky*
Jiggly: JIGGLY?!?!? JIGGLY??????
Karen: oh honey here it comes!
*a huge helicopter is seen landing next to the pair*
Karen: ladies first…
Jiggly: JIGGLY! Jigjig jiggly jigjigjiggly!
Karen: oh honey this team is such a trainwreck.. just get into the damn helicopter ^_^
*in the cab*
Lisi: LILLIANA IM COMING TO GET YOU AND YOUR DIABOLICAL MEXICAN MIND!
Nuj: BITCH YOU ARE SO FUCKING INSANE!
Stacy: we're so getting there first.
Lisi: IM GOING TO EXTINGUISH HERRR!
Nuj: WE'RE HERE! STOP THE CAB!
Lisi: WHERE IS SHE? WHERE IS THAT DIRTY MEXICAN HOE?
Stacy: lisi please stop.
Lisi: SATAN IS CALLING, LILLIORE!
*stacy grabs a cup of coffee and smashes it into Lisi's head*
Nuj: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER? IS SHE DEAD?
Stacy: Nothing, she just got Stacy Kimball'd. And lets go, there's no time to mourn the dead.
Nuj conf: Stacy is PSYCHO. She just kills people without any remorse or guilt. Lisi made us get there first and when we didn't need her anymore Stacy just got one of her many cups of coffee and smashed it into Lisi's forehead..
*Nay and Makosi are in the truck with Chad Crittenden from Survivor Vanuatu*
Na Onka: SO HAPPY TO SEE A FELLOW CASTAWAY AFTER SO MUCH TIME!
Chad: it's a pleasure to meet you Na Onka! Whats your name again Ma…?
Makosi: JUST DON'T TOUCH ME!
Na Onka: don't listen to her, she's on her period! Anyways Chad, how did you do in your season?
Chad: I did pretty well.. considering my condition..
Na Onka: ..condition? ^_^
Chad: oh I was the first contestant on reality tv to compete with a prostethig leg..
Makosi: WHAT? GO AWAY, I'M TELLING YOU, GO AWAY! IF YOU WANT TO GET OUT OF THIS TRUCK ALIVE, YOU NEED TO GO!
Chad: what? why?
Na Onka: it's ok Chad, she's just kinda mental.. we're going to have a greaaat time ^_^
*Madonna and Gaga are going to the location with their fans*
Joe: omg gaga I cant believe you're right here in front of my eyes (so goddamn ugly to be honest)
Gaga: …what did you say?
Joe: ^_^ that you're even more gorgeous in reality than on screen!
Gaga: ..hey thanks babes!
Madonna: she's an inspiration to many people in the lgbt community and I'm proud of Stefani!
Froggy: excuse me if I ask again, but who the fuck are you?! ^_^
Madonna: ..Madonna Ciccone..
Froggy: are you from some kind of reality show? Ohhh or maybe a porn movie? You've got a known face ^_^
Madonna: …I'm a pop st..
Coco: yayayayayay Gaga you're so awesome ayayayay
Joe: excuse him, Coco is mentally challeng… just so cute ^_^
Coco: IM GOING TO PUNCH YOU BITCH IF YOU SAY IT AGAIN… yayayayayayaya : D : D
Gaga: …you guys are so kind to bring us there..
Gaga conf: When my fans were bringing me to the first location I was honestly scared.. one of them kept telling shit behind my back to my face, one of them was mentally retarded and the other one kept insulting Miss Cic.. Madonna to her face..
*in the car Minerva has her tits out while Regina is licking them*
Minerva: …Shabby is going to be jealous..
???: so girls where are you going?
Regina: pi*slurp*azz*slip*dispahna..
???: excuse me I didn't understand, you had a nipple in your mouth..
Minerva: we're going to Piazza Di Spagna *gasp*.. sorry for the rudeness, my name's Minerva and she's Regina..
???: hey my name's Ryan, Ryan Jenkins! it's a pleasure to meet you..
Regina conf: While I was in the car doing what I had to do to make it past this round, the guy presented himself as Ryan Jenkins.. and that name sounded familiar but I thought nothing about it at that time..
*Birdo is standing next to Laura and Peach*
Laura: why is she wearing make-up?
Peach: meh, she's kinda strange..
Laura: why is she wearing lipstick?
Peach: meh, she's a weirdo..
Laura: WHY THE FUCK DOES SHE HAVE A BULGE IN HER PANTIES?
Peach: meh, she's a tranny.. just hop onto her and we can go!
Laura: should I keep my legs tight?
Peach: it's not that important, you're not going to fall off..
Laura: I wasn't asking for that reason…
Peach conf: I didn't understand Laura's problem with Birdo.. Mushroom Kingdom is a place known for its equality and freedom while Laura was being kinda rude.. If Birdo wants to be a lady, then let her be what she wants to be *starts tearing up*
*Laura and Jiggly are on the helicopter*
Karen: oh honey I would love a mint milano with a margarita right now..
Jiggly: Jigjigjiggly jigglyyy!
???: esta senora na gran puta
Karen: is that costaguatemexerican?
Jiggly: JIGGLY?
???: mami senor Stan sent me here to help you..
Karen: rosie is that you?
Rosario: it's me madam!
Karen: oh honey, I'm so happy!, I was wondering what my favourite mexican waitress was doing…
Rosario: I already told you I'm from El Salvador!
Karen: bla bla bla, stop talking and make us a martini
Rosario: there aren't bars on an helicopter mami..
Karen: here honey, just do it with this *she grabs a bottle of gin from under italian suit*
Karen conf: oh honey when I saw rosie in the helicopter I was just so excited.. I really don't care about this dumb tv show but rosie was just so inspiring and made me think how terrible it is not to have any money and live in a country where you don't have anything..
Karen: oh rosie, I love you..
Jiggly: jigjig?!?
*Stacy and Nuj are in Piazza di Spagna*
Stacy: there's the cluebox!!!!
DETOUR
Stacy: Mount It or Milk It..
GJ: In this detour the two teams have to decide to either Mount It orrr Milk It. In Mount It the teams have to travel by foot to the Villa Borghese park, where they'll meet with an instructor. This instructor will then tell them how mount a particular italian type of horse, which is knows for its temper and aggressivness. In Milk It teams have to run by foot to Piazza Barberini.. Here they'll enter the store named PORCATE E CAZZONI where they'll have to milk a certain amount of liquid to receive their next clue.
Nuj: WHAT THE FUCK I HATE ANIMALS!
Stacy: I say we do Mount It so we keep our hands clean!
Nuj: LETS JUST GO AND WE'LL THINK ABOUT IT WHEN WE'RE THERE..
STACY/NUJ 1ST PLACE.
Stacy: fuck run bitch someone's coming!
*something or someone is coming from the sky*
Jiggly: JIGGLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYJIGGGGLYYYYYYYYYYY
Karen: honeyyyyyyy I'm sorry but there was only one parachutteeeee… there, I've landed ^_^ is everything ok?
Jiggly: jigjig jiggly jiggly!!!!!!
Karen: yeah I'm following you…
*jiggly picks up the clue from the cluebox*
Karen: which one do you want to do? ^_^
Jiggly: jigglyjiggly!
KAREN/JIGGLYPUFF 2ND PLACE
Birdo: BIRDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Peach: oh god you're so rough!
Laura: his crotch is strangely big Peachy..
Peach: ..and it smells too..
Birdo: birdo, birdo birdo? *_^
Laura conf: The animal we were traveling on kept staring at me for the duration of the trip.. the shemale smiled at me, winked and licked his filthy red lips the entire duration of the trip.. and as much as I love children, I would have to abort a furhumanfag fetus..
*the camera cuts off to Regina and Minerva*
Regina: oh god… *her eyes are completely white*
Minerva: why is this trip taking so long?
Ryan: we're arriving there..
Minerva: …I'm feeling that something just isn't right.. there's no buildings around here..
Regina: …just go with the flow baby..
Ryan: ..yeah just relax and enjoy these last moments..
Regina: ..yeah enjoy.. LAST MOMENTS?
Ryan: don't cry ladies, you've lived a good life..
*in the other car…*
Joe: WHATS YOUR FAVOURITE GAGA SINGLE?
Coco: ITS GOTTA BE BAD ROMANCE
Froggy: eep, Alejandro is so hot!
Joe: I LOVE THEM ALL! I LOVE THE MONSTER! I LOVE YOU GAGA!
Gaga: thanks guys.. But I really think they can't compare with Madonna's classics..
Madonna: …thanks Stefa..
Froggy: who the fuck is Madonna?
Joe: it's this (annoying old hag), beautiful young lady sitting next to GAGA OMG ITS GAGA OMG OMG!
Madonna: ..are we there yet?
Frogs: we've arrived there 20 minutes ago
god you're dumb!Madonna: …Stefani lets go, we need to win this leg to establish ourselves as the power couple. I BELIEVE IN YOU!
Gaga: ..lets go! Bye guys, you've been incredible and helpful!
*the two run to the cluebox*
Madonna: …you decide!
Gaga: I think Milk It could be easier because..
Madonna: I BELIEVE IN YOU STEFANI! WE'RE DOING THAT!
Gaga conf: What a transformation has Madonna been through in the last round.. she's been supportive of me, and doesn't treat me like a rotten piece of shit anymore… I don't know what made her make this decision, but I'm really happy with it..
MADONNA/GAGA 3RD PLACE
*Makosi is seen running out of a truck*
Makosi: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
*a yell is heard coming out of the truck*
Na Onka: THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR BEING A FREAK OF NATURE!DIE, DIE DIE!
*Na Onka gets out of the truck, and in one hand she holds a bloody prostethic leg, with some scattered brains on it*
Makosi: WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?
*Na Onka licks the blood from the leg*
Na Onka: what God intended from its birth..
Makosi: THIS MUST BE A SSSSSSSSSSSSSICK JOKE.
Na Onka: just get to the clue box..
Makosi: im scared of you..
???: WHY IS HE TRYING TO BUTTFUCK ME????????
Na Onka: FUCK! THEY'RE COMING WE NEED TO RUN MAKOSI!
Peach: I'M SORRY MAMA, BUT SHE'S JUST A LITTLE BIT HORNY!
FUCK! A TEAMS RIGHT IN FRONT OF US! RUN BIRDO RUN!
Na Onka: MOVE YOUR FATASS AND PICK UP THE GODDAMN CLUE MAKOSI!
*the two teams are running to the clue box. Na Onka and Peach are neck and neck. As soon as the two reach the clue box Na Onka grabs Peach's hair and shoves her face onto the cluebox*
Na Onka: THIS CLUE IS MINE.
Peach: FUCK YOU WHORE! DO YOU WANNA REENACT WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY?
Makosi: NO!!! WAIT FOR ME!
Laura: PEACHY, STOP THIS NOW! Remember, you're acting like this because you're looking for Regina's approval. You're a good person, and don't let her get you down.
Peach: …maybe you're right..
Na Onka: YOU'RE SUCH A COWARD, DOES HURRICANE NA ONKA MAKE YOU SCARED?
Peach: A PRINCESS IS NEVER SCARED OF A DIRTY LIT..
Laura: behave Peachy, behave.. now lets just read this clue and then we'll find some ice for the nasty wound on your forehead.. and Na Onka I want to tell you something.. if you ever touch another one of my cubs AGAIN , I will annihilate you.. is that clear? Makosi, darling, please keep an eye on her..
Na Onka: YOU NASTY ASS HOE..
Makosi: don't.you.dare.talk.to.mama.like.that.
Na Onka: but, but..
Makosi: get over it. What do you want to do? Milk It or Mount It?
Na Onka: IMMA MILK SOMETHIN..
Peach: I LOVE HORSES LAURA, PLEASE LETS DO THAT ONE!
Laura: whatever you want sweetiepie..
MAKOSI/NA ONKA 4TH PLACE
LAURA/PEACH 5TH PLACE
*Minerva and Regina are in the car, Ryan Jenkins is looking at them*
Ryan: so girls, I've got a very sharp knife here.. I would like to assure you that I only use it for self-defense, but that's obviously not the case.. I'm going to rip your throat, cut all of your fingers off, and make sweet hamburgers with your vagina lips.. now girls please undress..
Regina: WHAT TYPE OF HAMBURGERS AND WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US?
Ryan: that's an interesting question, and why shouldn't I answer it? Meat with bacon and salad, and I'm doing this to you because I hate blondes. I went on this show, Megan Wants a Millionaire, and the disgusting buxom blonde rejected me. So I decided to go to Vegas, kill a nobody stripper, and get my revenge. And this is exactly what will happen now.. I'm going to rape you both, or you're going to rape each other, I haven't decided yet, then I'll slit your throats and the show will get cancelled..
Minerva: You know that GJ will be fucking ecstatic that something like this happened.. it will give him even more publicity..
Ryan: they will get the programme cancelled, believe me… I already called PETA to tell them that a mink was being raped on GJ's reality tv show..
Minerva: you're a sick fuck, you know that right?
Ryan: thanks for that.. it makes me proud to hear young bitches like you tell me that.. now get your clothes off, NOW!
*Stacy and Nuj arrive at their detour option, MOUNT IT*
Random detour guy: So girls, you're the first ones here, you don't need to wait any longer.. the stallion is right there, you just need to mount her and stay on top of her for more than 10 seconds..
Stacy: where is the fucking animal?!
???: hey guys, I'm here!
Nuj: WHAT THE FUCK A HORSE SPEAKS?
???: I'm not a horse!!! Who told you that? WAS IT RUSSELL?
Stacy: do we know each other?!
???: Well you've probably seen on tv countless times.. My name is Danielle Di Lorenzo, many call me DDL, and I was the star of Survivor Panama and Heroes vs Villains!
*Meanwhile Karen and Jigglypuff..*
Karen: …oh honey please go slower..
Jiggly: JIGGLYJIGGLY!
Karen: …we arrived there first, come on, we were on an airplane.. lets stop at this bar and drink a couple of cosmos..
Jiggly: JIG!
Jiggly conf: jigjig! JIGGLY! JIGGLYJIGLLYJIGGLY! Ù_ù jiggly.
Karen: …oh honey this place is nice, lets stop here…
*while Karen and Jiggly are sitting at one of the tables, Madonna and Gaga run by*
Jiggly: JIGGLY!
Karen: …that's just one team, there's several behind them.. don't worry honey, you're being too nervous..
*Madonna and Gaga are running towards PORCATE E CAZZONI*
Madonna: WE'VE JUST SURPASSED KAREN AND JIGGLYPUFF. HELL YEAH STEFANI, WE'RE GOING GREAT SO FAR!
Gaga: …I guess so..
Madonna: there's the location.. lets enter..
Other random detour guy: Girls the detour is in the back of this place. You must need to fill the canteens with enough liquid, it's up to you to decide how to do so.. When the canteen is filled, bring it to me and you'll receive the next clue..
Gaga: …why is this place so dark?
Madonna: where are the cows anyways..?
Gaga: ..uhm Madonna, I don't think this involves any type of animals.. only humans..
*Gaga and Madonna are surrounded by a bunch of gloryholes*
*meanwhile Regina and Minerva are completely naked, and Ryan has a knife in one of his hands*
Ryan: girls you sure look hot without anything on your bodies.. now I just have to decide what to do with both of you..
Minerva
Ryan: WHAT DID YOU ASK HER?
Minerva: I just wanted her to masturbate me for the last time before leaving this infamous world..
Ryan: oh… well today I'm feeling generous, so Regina, you're allowed to do it.
Regina: uhm no Minerva, that's going too far..
Minerva: Regina please do it, Lindsay would've wanted you to do this..
Regina conf: When Minerva told me that cunt-faced Lindsay Lohan wanted me to masturbate her I knew something wasn't quite right.. so then I realized that she was trying to tell me something..
Regina: WHAT?! Oohhhh…ok I'll do it for Lindsay..
*Regina starts masturbating Minerva*
Minerva: put more fingers in it..
Regina conf: ..so I decided to do it, and immediately understood what was going on.. Minerva had something hidden in there, and that was how we would escape from that goddamn car..
*Regina is seen grabbing something from Minerva's vagina and hiding it behind her*
*meanwhile Stacy and Nuj are trying to get on top of DDL*
Stacy conf: getting on top of Danielle was probably something easier to say than to do.. she was insane, kept rambling about Parvati, jury management, and athletic prowess.. She never stayed still and getting both on top of her wasn't easy..
Stacy: STAY STILL YOU GODDAMN BITCH!
DDL: I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'RE SO THREATENED BY ME RUSSELL! PARVATI AND MYSELF ARE CLOSER THAN YOU THINK!
Nuj: WHO THE FUCK IS SHE TALKING ABOUT!?
DDL: SO JEFF AM I REALLY THE BIGGEST CASTING MISTAKE EVER MADE ON SURVIVOR? LOOK WHERE AM I NOW! ON THE AMAZING RACE!
Nuj conf: It seemed like there was no way to calm DDL down at the start.. she was aggressive, never stood still, and her boobs kept bouncing us off.. but then I knew what I had to do.. something I hadn't done in quite awhile..
Nuj: Well Danielle I can say that you really deserved to win over Aras in Panama..
DDL: IT'S TIME TO BLI.. oh do you really think that?
Nuj: yeah he didn't do absolutely nothing for his entire stay while you had to fight like an amazonian princess to stay in the game..
DDL: that's absolutely true!
*while Nuj is complimenting DDL, Stacy jumps on her back and grabs her hair extensions*
Stacy: NUJ GRAB ONE OF HER TITS AND JUMP ON HER HEAD!
DDL: WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME!
Stacy: HOLD YOURSELF!
*the seconds pass.. 1,2..5,6..8,9..10!*
Random detour guy: congratulations, here is your next clue!
Stacy: FUCK YEAH!
ROUTE INFO
Stacy: make your way to the Oktoberfest in Piazza Venezia.. Caution: YIELD ahead!
Nuj: LETS MOVE!
STACY/NUJ 1ST PLACE
*meawhile in the car..*
Ryan: so who am I going to rape first? Eenie meenie minie moe, who will I rape this or that hoe?
Minerva: …do me first.. I couldn't stand the sight of Regina being killed right in front of my eyes..
Ryan: ..oh you're such a sweet soul.. ok I'll grant your wishes ^_^
*Ryan throws himself on Minerva, with his trousers down*
Ryan: oh yeah baby..
*meanwhile Regina is behind him*
Ryan: what are you doing back there?
Regina: killing you.
*Regina takes the beads from behind her back, puts them around Ryan's neck and starts pulling*
Ryan: BITCH ugh I CANT BREATHE. I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!
*Minerva slips aside from under him, and leaves Regina in the car alone*
*meanwhile Ryan manages to grab Regina's hair and he starts pulling it*
Regina: FUUUCK, LEAVE ME ALONE
*Regina's grip on the beads is getting more and more loose..*
Ryan: you're losing your grip bitch!
*Ryan turns around and grabs Regina's head*
Ryan: say byebye to your loved ones!
*he lungs forward to get his knife, and aims to her throat*
Ryan: 1 down, 1 more to go.
SLICK
*meanwhile Na Onka and Makosi run pass Karen and Jigglypuff and right to PORCATE and CAZZONI*
Jiggly: JIGGLY JIGGLY JIGGLY!
Karen: sweetie I think this time you're right, we should go.. waiter, could we bring our cosmos with us?
*while Na Onka and Makosi enter the store, Madonna and Gaga are in the gloryhole section*
Gaga: ..so what do we do Madonna?
Madonna: don't worry Stefani I've touched my fair number of dicks during my lifetime..
Gaga: ..so you're going to do it?
Madonna: I think it's easier than we think.. I'm known by many as the the queen of JO.
*while Madonna is starting her task, Na Onka and Makosi are entering the room*
Na Onka: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
Gaga: …it's the gloryhole-room..
Na Onka: WHATS A GLORY HOLE?
Makosi: …it's, it's, it's where guys put their dick into a hole and some…one jerks …or..or.. blows them off…
Na Onka: WHY YOU TALKING LIKE THIS?
Makosi: …my baby's kicking… he doesn't want any brothers down there..
*at the other detour*
Peach: we've made it Mama! Where do we need to go?!
Random detour guy: the pony is waiting for you!
Peach: OMG IT'S A PONY? ^_^ I LURV THEM!
Laura: where is it anyways?! …is that her…?
DDL: RUSSELL, PARVATI TOLD ME ABOUT HOW YOU TRIED TO TURN US AGAINST EACH OTHER! AND BOBDAWG, YOU'RE DISRESPECTING ME YOU HAVE TO GO.
Peach: oh god she does look like a pony indeed..
Laura: ….grrr
Peach: ..hey whats going on?
Laura: did she just say Russell?
*the camera cuts to Karen and Jigglypuff entering the gloryhole salon*
Karen: oh there's everyone here, how sweet..
Makosi: GET THAT PENIS AWAY FROM ME! I'M NOT READY TO HAVE TWINS!
Madonna: …rub it faster and don't put your hand on top Stefani..
Na Onka: MAH BOY DREAMZ GOT IT BIGGER, SO ITS NO PROBLEM FOR NA ONKA MIXON!
Karen: …this is so gross honey, I'm not doing it!
Jiggly: JIGGLY JIGGLY JIGGLY?!
Karen: …and no, I'm not changing my mind ^_^
Makosi conf: Karen is fucking useless, and we all know it. She was saved round 3 because Emma was a threat and she does absolutely nothing all day except for drinking obviously.. I feel sorry for Jigglypuff because today at the detour Karen just kept on complaining while she was doing all the hard work.. I mean, I risked getting pregnant again to finish the damn task
*in Ryan's car*
Regina: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
*Ryan's body is on Regina.. he has a stiletto stuck into one of his eyeballs*
Regina: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HIM?
Minerva: it's the only thing I found in such a small amount of time
Regina: BUT WHY DID YOU HAVE TO RAM INTO HIS EYEBALL?
Minerva: why are you complaining? He was going to stab you!
Regina: IT'S JUST, JUST..
Minerva: the fucker had to die, it was either you or him. You owe me one.
Regina: I OWE YOU NOTHING. I FUCKING FINGERED YOU FOR GJ'S SAKE!
Minerva: you would've died if you didn't do that. Whatever, lets just stop talking about this, because we both have our opinions and we aren't going to change it. We need to get to Piazza di Spagna asap. I just hope it isn't that far away..
*meanwhile Stacy and Nuj are running towards their next cluebox*
YIELD
GJ: A team may only use the Yield power once during the entire race, but since it's only here for one round this doesn't really matter. The team who is yielded must turn an hourglass and wait for the sand to drain before they can use the next route marker.
Nuj: WHAT ARE WE DOING?
Stacy: we're so using it obviously.
Stacy conf: Being the first team to the Yield we had the decision to use it or not. And while we were so ahead of the pack that there wasn't any chance that nobody could catch up to us, I still wanted to shatter the dreams of one of the hoes who lived in the house with me in the last few days.. And the pain would be much more delicious if they didn't expect it was coming..
Nuj: ARE YOU SERIOUS?
Stacy: yep, they're in for a surprise, and I'm gonna laugh my ass off watching it on tv. Buhbye bitches!
*in the gloryhole room 2 and a half teams are jo and bj-ing cocks all around the room*
Karen: …go jiggly you're doing a great job! ^_^
Gaga: …Miss Ciccone I'm kinda getting into the groove..
Madonna: GOOD JOB STEFANI WE'RE NEARLY DONE!
*Na Onka's and Makosi's canteen is ¾ full. Madonna's and gaga's is 3/5 full. Jiggly is somehow doing a great job on her own and their canteen is half full*
Na Onka: GURL YOUR BABIES WILL BE SO PRODUD OF YOU… YOU'VE GOT HANDS MADE OF GOLD.
*Makosi is working her magic. The cocks just cum as soon as she touches them*
Makosi: WHY ARE YOU ALL TRYING TO INSEMINATE ME?
*her bucket is now semi-full*
*Na Onka's prostethic leg is also full of cum, and she pours it into Makosi's canteen*
Na Onka: WE'RE DONE GURL!
RDG: good job ladies here's your next clue..
MAKOSI/NA ONKA 2ND PLACE
Makosi: lets leave this place already..
*At the same time, Minerva and Regina have reached the first clue*
Minerva: Which one are we doing?
Regina: I don't care we have to move.
Minerva: I say we Milk It.
MINERVA/REGINA 6TH PLACE
*at the Mount It detour..*
DDL: YOU'RE A FUCKING MIDGET RUSSELL AND I CAN'T STOP..
Laura: Is that Russell Hantz you're talking about?
DDL: AND YOU SHANE, PUT YOUR CHILDREN TO.. YOU KNOW RUSSELL HANTZ?
Laura: I've played with him.. In Samoa..
DDL: SAME HERE.. THE FUCKING TROLL MIDGET VOTED ME OUT.
Laura: happened the same to me..
DDL: DID YOU FEEL HUMILIATED AND SPENT WHEN THAT HAPPENED?
Laura: I feel like I dishonored my family, my morals, and america.
DDL: I FEEL YOU GURL. I REALLY DO.
Laura: I came to Stabb to gain back my honour, and prove to everyone out there that I'm better than him…
DDL: GURL YOU'RE REALLY TOUCHING MY HEARTSTRINGS, AND I TOTES UNDERSTAND WHERE YOU'RE COMING FROM..
Peach: uhma that's sad.. so can we mount you? ^_^
Laura: …
DDL: …
Peach: … ^_^
DDL: yeah no problemz
*the seconds pass without any problems, and Laura and Peach pass the task*
RDT: here's your next clue ladies..
PEACH/LAURA 3RD PLACE
Peach: thanks babes!
Laura conf: Today at the detour I really opened my heart to America.. After Samoa everyone just kept telling me.. LAURA YOU GOT RUSSELL-OWNED DEAL.WITH.IT.. and I just watched them in amazement, wondering why on earth they were so retarded.. and at some point I thought.. maybe it's me? MAYBE I'M THE ONE TO BE WRONG? But today, after talking with DDL, I know I was right all along..
*the camera goes back to the azn sensations*
ROADBLOCK
GJ: In this roadblock teams have to compete in an activity very close to GeorgeJhon's heart: drinking. One of the two team members will have to enter the oktoberfest and drink 5 bottles of vodka without throwing up. If they throw up they'll have to start the task all over again. As soon as the team member finishes drinking their last bottle, they will be handed their final clue.
Nuj: DO YOU WANNA DO IT?
Stacy: its so hot out here.. the sun is really intense..
Nuj conf: So when I tried to ask Stacy if she wanted to do it, she started talking about the weather, the sun, how hot it was.. so I obviously had to step up and take a bullet for the team.
Nuj: OK.. SO I'M DOING IT!
*Nuj enters the festival, and grabs her first bottle*
*meanwhile in the gloryhole Madonna and Gaga are nearly done, and Jigglypuff has most of the canteen full*
Karen: …honey you do wonders with your mouth…
Jiggly: ji*gag*gly*spurt*
Madonna: …DONE! Stefani we g2g..
RDT: here's your next clue..
GAGA/MADONNA 4TH PLACE
Gaga: THANKYOU! Fuck! caution: Yield ahead.
Gaga conf: When I read about the Yield ahead I was scared.. Na Onka and Makosi were surely going to use it on us, so our only hope was if someone used it before them.. And luck is never on my side as you've probably noticed..
*as the popstars run outside, Minerva and Regina come racing in*
Minerva: OH GOD YES
Regina: what?
Minerva: IT'S A JERKING OFF COMPETITION!
Minerva conf: Back at home, and even in the STABB house, everyone calls me a hoe, a slut, a broken-ass anthro whore, and you know what? It's true. I like cock, I like sucking it, I like to put it in every hole of my body.. That's what I was made for. And the race finally enhanced my best qualities
*Minerva just bends down and starts jerking off the cocks at an incredibly fast pace. What is really surprising is that Regina is not slowing her at all*
Regina conf: So yeah I wanted to show Minerva who was the REAL slut in the house. Gloryholes were present in North Shore High too, and during breaks I was always there to pleasure geeks, jocks and whoever just wanted to relax.. So Minerva, please don't be such an entitled little slut, because I'm just as good as you.
Karen conf: oh honey When I saw Minerva and Regina entering the room I was afraid… jiggly was doing ok but those two have the fastest moving hands ive ever seen in my life.. ane before you knew it they were catching up..
Jiggly: JIGGLY JIGGLY JIGGLY!
Karen: oh you're done honey? Bring the canteen to the guy..
Jiggly: JIGGLY! JIGGLY!
Karen: oh alright honey, I'll do it for you… you smell awful by the way, and your fur is so icky.. ^_^
Jiggly conf: JIGGLY JIGGLY! >_> JIGJIGJIGGLY! JIGGLY!
RDT: Here's your next clue!
KAREN/JIGGLYPUFF 5TH PLACE
Jiggly: Jiggly! Jigjig!
*near the Yield clue*
Na Onka: FUCK IT THERE'S THE YIELD!
Makosi: oh please please, let it be us..
Na Onka: WHAT? YOU WANNA GET ELIMINATED?
Makosi: well… I already have the dramatic breakdown in my mind.. it starts like this: WHY GOD WHY? DAMN YOU STAC..
Na Onka: OH THANK JESUS ITS NOT U..
*but while Na Onka is retrieving the clue, Peach grabs her braids and violently smashes her head on the yield sign*
Peach: YOU'VE JUST BEEN YIELDED BITCH.
Makosi: HOW DARE YOU TOUCH HER WITH YOUR FILTHY CUM-FILLED HANDS!
Peach: UHM ME? WHATS THE LIQUID DROPPING FROM YOUR CHIN?
Makosi: ITS SWEAT!
Peach: SMELLS LIKE CUM TO ME!
Laura: just pick the clue Peachy and lets get out of here..
PEACH/LAURA 2ND PLACE
Laura: I don't drink alcohol Peachy..
Peach: don't worry Mama, I'm used to this.
Peach conf: When I read the roadblock I was like.. pfft I can do this.. vodka is the main reason I get kidnapped back home so easily.. I go to a bar, drink too much, Bowser offers me a free cocktail and next thing I know I've anal beads in my ass, my mouth is full of dragon cum and Mario comes the next morning and fucks me again.. gawd, being a princess is so hard..
Makosi: Nay do you feel ok?
Na Onka: WHERE IS THAT BITCH? WHERE HAS SHE GONE?
Makosi: she's doing her roadblock.. we've got to decide who does it between the two of us..
Na Onka: IMMA RIP HER IN PIECES. SHE MESSED WITH THE WRONG HOE, I'LL TELL YOU THAT.
MAKOSI/NA ONKA 3RD PLACE
Stacy: NUJ YOU CAN DO IT!
*as soon as she says this, Nuj is seen throwing up after drinking her third bottle of vodka*
Stacy: FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! *bitchface*
Nuj: whatevesstacyiwillstartagainuknowhatetifght?
Stacy: oh god this doesn't spell well for us..
*Peach is now starting her second bottle, while Na Onka is filling her prostethic leg*
Peach: where the fuck did you get that thing? And why is it bloody?
Na Onka: IT'S NONE OF YOUR DAMN FAULT. AND I'M DRINKING FROM IT BECAUSE BLOODY MARIES ARE DELICIOOUS.
Peach: you're a sick fuck.
*while the three are drinking finally Madonna and Gaga reach the yield too. It's now covered in Na Onka's blood so its barely visible*
Madonna: OH GOD I DON'T WANT TO SEE!
Gaga: …
Madonna: what?
Gaga: we've been..
Madonna: FUCK!
Gaga: SPARED!
Madonna: WHAT? WHAT? WE'RE NOT YIELDED?
Gaga: nope ^_^ now we have to only decide who does the roadblock!
Madonna: I really think it's your time to shine without me Stefani.. I know you can do this..
Gaga: OK I WILL!
GAGA/MADONNA 4TH PLACE
*as soon as Gaga starts her roadblock, Karen and Jigglypuff reach the Yield station*
Karen: ok, it's obviously me who will do this roadblock ^_^ seems so easy ^_^
Jiggly: JIGGLY JIGGLY!!!!! JIGGLY!
Karen: yeah honey, I'm starting right now, don't worry!
Jiggly: JIGLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! JIGJIGJIGGLY!!!!!!
*jigglypuff is jumping up and down*
Karen: oh honey you're so goddamn retarded *giggles* thanks for making this round so enjoyable ^_^
Jiggly: JIGGLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
Karen: you're so cute ^_^, what are you pointing at?!
*jiggly just has enough and pushes Karen against the yield*
Karen: WHATS THIS BLOOD ON MY GUCCI?
*GASP*
Karen: we've been… YIELDED?
Karen conf: So Stacy, my greatest ally in the game, and my future waitress decided to yield her senora? She overstepped her boundaries. I'm getting revenge on that bitch, and an angry Karen Walker is not what you want to have against.
*at the Oktoberfest Nuj is at her second bottle (again), Na Onka is drinking her fourth leg, Peach is at her third while Gaga is drinking her second*
Nuj: SOWHKEI WAS IN NUYORK I FOUGHT OMG DIS BITCH INSANE IS JEELIKEA BROKE HOE NO SHE AINT! HES CLAZZY NA ONKA CLAZZY NO HUH?
Peach: I needed a drink so badly!
Na Onka: BITCH YOU SO SLOW, I'M AT MY FOURTH BOTTLE AND I CANT FEEL ANYTHIN!
Madonna: Stefani, girl, you can do this!!!!!
*as the first 4 teams do the roadblock, and K/J wait for the yield to end, Minerva and Regina are still doing the detour*
*splurt* *squack*
Regina: aannnnd. We're done!
*Minerva just continues sucking the cocks in the room*
Regina: MINERVA STOP IT!
Minerva: uhmmmm, there's nothing like the taste of fat cock in my mouth..
Regina We need to go, hurry!
RDT: ladies, here's your next clue
REGINA/MINERVA 6th PLACE
*back at the roadblock*
Na Onka: AND WITH THAT, I'M DONE!
RDT: congratulations, here's your next clue.
NA ONKA/MAKOSI 1ST PLACE
ROUTE INFO
GJ: Teams now have to travel to Appia Antica, a place mainly known because the Gjgoddess was born there. Here's they'll find a pitstop.. the last team to check, MAY be eliminated.
Makosi: LETS RUN GIRL!
*while the two leave, the rest of the competitors are still drinking*
Nuj: SOIWSA LIEK NO WYA UR DOING TIS TO ME MY VAJAINE ISNTSLOPPY YOU KNOW IT GURL!
Stacy: Just drink those fucking bottles already..
Peach *starts crying*: I MISS MY KINGDOM SO MUCH! MARIO I NEED YOUR HAIRY BUSH INSIDE ME!
Laura: oh god she's a depressed drunk..
Peach: AND DAISY WHY DO YOU ALWAYS TREAT ME LIKE THAT? I ONLY SEEK APPROVAL, BUT YOU ALWAYS FUCK THE BEST GUYS!
Laura: PEACHY don't give up! I'm here to help you!
Peach: AND EVEN YOSHI? WHY DON'T YOU TRU AND COMMUNICATE WITH ME? I KNOW THAT TOADETTE TOLD YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM ME IF YOU DON'T WANT STD'S BUT I'M PURE! I'M A CHASTE ANGEL GODDESS!
*meanwhile Gaga is at her fourth bottle*
Madonna: YOU GO STEF I'M PROUD OF YOU!
*gaga pukes on the bartender*
Madonna: Oh no..
Gaga: COULD YOU JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP MADONNA? I'M DOING THE TASK RIGHT HERE, AND YOU'RE NOT HELPING AT ALL.
Laura: oh god she's an angry drunker… even worse..
Madonna: …it's ok Stefani just carry on..
Gaga: I'M LADY GAGA FOR YOU, HAG!
Gaga conf: when I started drinking, I just didn't feel the same.. now I feel really guilty for how I treated Madonna, but at the time I just couldn't control myself
*at the yield station Karen and Jiggly are still waiting*
*Regina and Minerva arrive*
Regina: are you going to do it?
Minerva: it's a swallowing thing, it's not a problem.
*while Minerva starts the task, Peach finally finishes*
Peach: THIS IS FOR YOU BOWSER, AND FOR HOW YOU TREATED ME ALL THESE YEARS.. I STILL LOVE YOU, KNOW THAT!
Laura: lets go girl! We can still reach Nay and Makosi!
*the camera cuts back to Makosi and Nay who are running to the pitstop*
Makosi: ..is it raining?
Na Onka: I QUIT.
Makosi: WHAT!?!
Na Onka: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE, MY BONES HURT, I'VE GOT A DISEASE.
Makosi: YOU CAN'T QUIT! I'M GOING TO BE ELIMINATED TOO!
Na Onka: SORRY MAKOSI BUT THIS IS EVEN WORSE THAN WHEN I HAD MY DIVORCE WHEN I WAS 26… AT THAT POINT IN TIME..
Makosi conf: So two drops fall from the sky and Na Onka wants to quit.. What can I say? She's a better drama queen than I am. And that scares me, because my visibility this episode must've suffered from it.
*at the roadblock Nuj is finishing her fifth bottle*
Stacy
Nuj: IMADUN! GIV MI MY CLUE YOUDISGSSUTING SLUTPIG!
Stacy conf: Nuj is probably the most worthless sack of shit I've ever encountered in my lifetime. She decided she ABSOLUTELY wanted to the roadblock and she tanked it for both of us. I'm not happy with her, at all.
Stacy: lets move, we can still make it!
*Na Onka and Makosi are sitting under a tree, while its raining around them*
Na Onka: …AND THEN I WAS LIKE, ITS MY FAULT THAT THE MARRIAGE ENDED, BUT I HAVE NO ONE AROUND ME! WHY IS LIFE SO HARD?
*while Na Onka is talking Peach and Laura run ahead of them*
Na Onka conf: When Peach and Laura surpassed me I had two options: 1) quit for good and finally go back home, or 2) make that bitch suffer. The decision was actually quite easy..
Na Onka: STOP RIGHT THERE BITCH!
*Peach turns around and flips her off*
Na Onka: OH NO SHE DIDN'T
*Na Onka reaches in her bag, gets Chad's leg and throws it towards Peach hitting her right in the head*
Na Onka: YOU GOING DOWN AND IT AINT GONNA BE PRETTY!
*Na Onka lungs forward and hits Peach right in the face*
Laura conf: When Na Onka and Peach started fighting I didn't interfere because I knew they had to get it out of their system. Violence can be a solution sometimes, and the war in Iraq is an example..
*at the roadblock*
*Minerva is surrounded by guys*
Guys: GET IT DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN!
Minerva conf: The testosterone of the guys during the roadblock really gave me the energy to end the task quickly. Back home when I drink I usually end up in some werewolves bed with a condom in my anus, but this time I had to stick with Regina and go to the pitstop..
Minerva: ONLY ONE MORE TO GO!
Guys: YES YES YES!
*Gaga is at her second bottle and she looks angrier and angrier*
Gaga: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT BARMAN? WHAT ARE YOU ALL LAUGHING AT? I'M DRUNK DUR, THERES NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT IT!
Madonna: Stefani please stop talking to strangers and finish the task quickly!
Gaga: DON'T YOU DARE GIVE ME ORDERS! WHAT A FUCKING CUNT!
*Peach and Nay are still going at it near the pitstop, but while they're hitting each other azn sensations Nuj and Stacy pass by running towards the pitstop*
Laura: FUCK PEACH WE HAVE TO GO! THEY'VE JUST SURPASSED US!
Makosi: NAY I NEED THAT FIRST PLACE! LEAVE THE LEG AND RUN!
*a shot of Nuj stumbling and Stacy holding her is seen*
*Nay and Makosi are holding hands and running*
*Peach and Laura are seen looking for the pitstop*
*Stacy and Nuj run towards GeorgePhil and jump on the pitstop. A women is standing next to him*
GJ's mom: Welcome to Italy!
Nuj: THKNSA!
GeorgePhil: Stacy and Nuj.. you're team number one!
*the two of them jump in joy bla bla bla I've finished the ideas*
GeorgePhil: for winning this leg of the race, the two of you will be given a special privilege for the next round of the game.. congratulations..
Stacy/Nuj conf: S: today we have showed at the pitstop who the dominating alliance is. The azns are in this to win it, and we're going to OWN this game.
*as the azns check in Minerva finishes her last bottle*
Minerva: DONE!
RDG: here's your next clue!
Minerva: Regina we gotta run, lets go!
*Gaga is meanwhile drinking her fourth bottle of vodka*
Madonna: Gaga you need to hurry there's only one team behind us!
Gaga: SHUTT THE FUUUUUUUUUCK UP!
*as this is happening, another team arrives at the pit stop*
GJ's mom: Welcome to Italy!
GeorgePhil: Na Onka and Makosi, you're team number two.. Peach and Laura come on in, you're team number three.
Na Onka conf: TODAY I SHOWED TO PEACH WHO WAS THE FUCKING NUMBER 1 IN THIS GAME. SHE GOT NA ONKOWNED, AND SHE DESERVES IT.
Peach conf: This round went just as I planned.. I worked Laura as a fiddle, I was shown as the victim in the fight with Na Onka, and nobody targets poor little Peachy anymore. But guess what? it was all an act. I'm still the same old conniving backstabbing bitch, and these bitches must recognize.
*as the third team checks in Karen and Jigglypuff's Yield finally ends*
Jiggly: jiggly jiggly!
Karen: yes honey, lets go!
*Karen enters Oktoberfest and starts drinking her task*
Karen: oh honey this is easy!
*Karen is drinking Vodka more easily than water, as she finishes her first bottle in less than thrirty seconds*
Gaga conf: As much as I was inebriated by alcohol I knew who I was fighting against to stay in the race.. the raging alcoholic who was more rhum in her system than blood. She had 4 bottles left, I had only one..
*as Gaga and Karen face off, another team checks in*
GeorgePhil: Regina and Minerva, you're team number four..
Minerva: oh thank god, what a day..
*only two teams remain*
Madonna: STEFANI YOU CAN DO IT!
Jiggly: JIGGLY JIGGLY JIGGLY!
Gaga: EEP! FINISHED!
Madonna: GET THE CLUE!
RDG: here's your next clue!
*as Gaga receives her clue..*
Karen: oh honey that was fun! So where do I get the clue or whatever it is?
Jiggly
Karen: thanks babes!
Madonna: STEFANI WE NEED TO RUN! THEY'RE RIGHT BEHIND US!
Gaga: CALM DOWN! I'M COMING!
*the two teams are seen running towards the pitstop*
*Madonna and Gaga are shouting at each other as they're making their way towards the pitstop*
*Karen has another bottle of Vodka in hand and is drinking it while running towards the pitstop with Jigglypuff*
GJ's mom: Welcome to Italy!
GeorgePhil: Karen and Jigglypuff, you're team number five.
Karen: oh thanks honey! That was fun ^_^
GeorgePhil: So what did you think of this leg?
Karen: well I can say that it gave me more motivation and I discovered that some people who I thought were my closest allies are actually my worse enemies..
*a shot of Gaga and Madonna is seen*
GJ's mom: Welcome to Italy!
Madonna: thankyou…
GeorgePhil: Gaga and Madonna, you're the last team to arrive.
I'm sorry to tell you..
THAT YOU HAVE BOTH BEEN ELIMINATED FROM STABB GODDESSES.
Madonna: ….^_^ what?
GeorgePhil: I'm sorry Madonna but you and Gagabitch have been eliminated from the race..
Gaga: …wow…
GeorgePhil: so Madonna has your opinion on Gagabitch changed in this last leg?
*Gaga is seen smiling towards Madonna*
Madonna: Oh yeah definetely…
GAGA IS A DESPERATE WANNABE COCK-SUCKING ROTTEN PIECE OF FLESH, AND I DESPISE HER WITH EVERY FIBRE OF MY BEING. SHE'S A BITCH, A USELESS PAWN, A PERSON WITH NO INTEGRITY, WHOSE ONLY ACCOMPLISHMENT IN LIFE IS TO COPY AND SELL SONGS MADE BY MYSELF.. SHE'S A SELF-ENTITLED NOBODY, WHO WILL LOSE HER NOTORIETY AS SOON AS SHE GAINED IT.. SHE'S..
Gaga: So why did you treat me like this during this round?
Madonna: ARE YOU DUMB? OH WAIT, YOU ARE. I'VE USED YOU TO MY ADVANTAGE, I'VE BIT MY TONGUE, HELPED YOU TO GO FURTHER IN THE RACE, AND INSTEAD IM GETTING ELIMINATED. AND YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE I MADE A MISTAKE. I TREATED YOU LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING WHEN YOU'RE A WORM, A USELESS SACK OF SHIT, SOMEONE WHO BRINGS NOTHING TO THE TABLE, WHO IS JUST A CARPET, A COCKROACH, SOMETHING YOU CAN EASILY STEP ON AND WHEN ITS DONE YOU JUST DON'T THINK ANYTHING OF IT. YOUR FANS DISRESPECTED ME, YOU DISRESPECTED ME, AND I STAYED QUIET, AND FOR THIS REASON I WILL NEVER EVER FORGIVE MYSELF.
GeorgePhil: Madonna, sorry to interrupt you, but I have some bad news..
Madonna: WHAT DO YOU WANT?
GeorgePhil: well, since you've both been eliminated from the game I just wanted to say that you Madonna placed 12th and Gaga 11th because she stepped on the mat first.. its nothing important to be honest.
Madonna: IT ISN'T IMPORTANT? SHE HAS BEATEN ME IN THIS GAME. HIS DISGUSTING TRANNY MESS HAS BEATEN ME IN SOMETHING. I.WILL.NOT.TOLERATE.THAT. GEORGEJHON I PROMISE YOU, THIS PROGRAM WILL NOT MAKE THE AIR, AND THIS ROUND WILL NEVER BE SHOWN TO ANYONE. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME OR DO YOU WANT TO BE RIPPED APART BY A HORDE OF CHIMAS?
GeorgeJhon: sry its live ^_^
Gaga: …pwned…
Madonna: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? DID I HEAR THAT WELL? YOU DIDN'T PWN ME HERE, YOU DIDN'T PWN ME IN LIFE, AND YOU WON'T PWN ME IN HELL. BE AFRAID GAGA, BE VERY AFRAID.. BECAUSE I'M COMING TO GET YOU!
…
I'm leaving, GJ. Fuck this show.
Gaga: yeah I'll probably do the same.. thanks for the experience..
*a shot of the two of them is seen. Madonna screaming on top of her lungs, and Gaga walking slowly to her cab*
NEXT TIME ON STABB GODDESSES
Two rounds into one…
You will have to work for one of the world's most famous businessman..
The public has decided..
A shocking turn of events..
You made a big mistake, my dear
And the BIGGEST blinside yet
WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?
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Comments: 24
every episode i expect to be disappointed but it seems that STABB gets better and better! amazing!
“Ryan: so girls, I've got a very sharp knife here.. I would like to assure you that I only use it for self-defense, but that's obviously not the case.. I'm going to rip your throat, cut all of your fingers off, and make sweet hamburgers with your vagina lips.. now girls please undress..
Regina: WHAT TYPE OF HAMBURGERS AND WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US?”
“Gaga: …Miss Ciccone I'm kinda getting into the groove..”
GJ I LOVE YOUR SENSE OF HUMOUR SO MUCH <33333
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omg thank god you got the madonna reference <333 i an always count on you for the music quotes <333333
and thx babes i love my sense of humour too
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Omgomgomgomg <3 Mint Milanos. I want some now. ;-;
Karen will win this. For sure. Hopefully. Probably not. But maybe.
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maybe she will, maybe shw won't?
what can i say, i love her a lot, as well as the rest of this cast.
best f10 ever y/y?
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I'm going to go with yes.
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I think this was one of the best episodes ever, tbh. <33
I especially love that your mother was the random welcoming lady. Such a good son you are.
Also, as soon as I saw the name Chad, I knew he would be beaten to death with his own leg.
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alol my mom being the welcoming lady was just so random. i just wanted to finish this episode already so i put her in it.
and chad <333 poor soul was unlucky to meet HURRICANE NAONKA!
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I thought it was ~CUTE~ <333
Hurrican NaOnka is ttly gonna win.
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[link]
STACY KIMBALL RULES THE EP. EPISODE 5 OTTNN QUEEN <33333
was kinda sad to see madonna and gaga to go, but the more i think about it, they probably were the best choices to go.
stabb edgic: [link]
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yeah they had to go i didnt know what to do with them.. and the edgic is mostly correct, some vis is off..
and peach as a top contender is interesting.. we'll see!
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At least Madonna isn't dead. Although I'm of the impression that Gaga's a cross of Madonna and another singer who I forget the name of. Madonna's music and the other's fashion sense.
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yeah well shes still a retarded wannabitch, and i sure as hell dont like her. still, she was fun to write for because of her trainwreck-ness. lol though at anyone thinking she could win
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There were really people that thought she would win? I could tell by the other contestants that she wouldn't. Voting rounds, and all that.
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well tbf i made her look like a good winner pick.. she had good edgic ratings and a potential winner story..
her edgic was:
ottp4 - utrp2 - cpp4 - cp4
so it was pretty good
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That's true. Plus whatever she got for this episode, which'll probably have an N or an M. >.> The drunk scene.
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well her drunk scene wasnt really n imo because then there was a conf of her explaining she was guilty of what she said to madonna... and by the end of the episode she was p yet again i think
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gaga >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> madonnahag
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sry i like gaga but hate madonna..sry
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-cuts self deeply 30 times-
atleast gaga outlasted the old hag...^_^
REALLY epic ep, I loved it. <333
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ugh i wished madonna couldve defeated her, but it wouldve been lame and predictable.. so excited for your edgic ^_^
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Stacy seething <3. She's such a bitch.
Great episode.
RIP Chad, Lisi, Ryan, and anyone else killed in the episode.
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how the fuck did you finish that quickly?
and stacy <3 its ep 5 she needed her time to shine.
cameos <3 i already miss them
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