HOME | DD

Description

Dark Pit flew from the collapsing Lunar sanctum with a feeling of shame. It was the second time that Pitstain had wiped the floor with him.

''Just think about it. If I was a copy why would I kick my own butt?'' Yeah...that statement still applied here...not.

''He got Lucky'' Dark Pit told himself ''Next time I will floor that fool but first I'm gonna get a little exercise''

Soaring down to the earth the dark Angel could see a wave of underworld baddies have the same idea. Dark Pit needed to vent and those suckers just happened to be the nearest ugly mugs around

Those creatures were so arrogant, thinking HE Dark Pit owed them something. Medusa had thought so and that new god wasn't any different. They all needed a good pummelling to show Dark Pit served no one .

Dark Pit followed the creatures to a demolished human city where the underworld troops were ready to join those already wreaking havoc.

''Oh look, it's the hideous brigade'' The angel smirked ''Goodbye suckers!'' With his staff Dark Pit sniped away all monsters charging at him with the exception of a Reaper who was shielded by his reapettes.

''Bah, Pit was right. You creatures ARE annoying! Electroshock!'' Warping a mechanical fist around his right hand he punched the Reaper down into the city.

''Time for land battle!'' the black wings glew purple as Dark Pit charged down to the city at great speed.

When the human soldiers caught sight of the ''familiar'' young, winged boy in a toga they all started cheering.

''It's the hero Pit! The goddess of light has heard our prayers!''

''Huzzah! Pit is here to save us!''

''All hail the goddess Palutena and the commander of her guard!''

Dark Pit growled as he was none of those things! ''Don't make me laugh! If you all want to call me something ridicules then I prefer Pittoo!'' Even that silly nickname was less degrading then a comparison with his dorky do-gooder clone.

''Huh?''

''Listen mates! I'm no one's pawn. Now...you all got a mere moment to get out of here...anyone who keeps standing here with a weapon is my next opponent'' Dark Pit would not cover their escape. He would only engage the underworld forces going after those humans because he was going to destroy them anyway! He certainly would not protect those human.

And so Dark Pit battled with the underworld monsters in a human city like his counterpart so often did and like Pit he allowed the humans to flee by doing so. No monster was a match for him. What wasn't sniped down by Pit's staff was shot by his bow or slashed to pieces with his bow blades. This continued until the angel got the attention of the boss himself.

''Well, well this brings no small amount of joy to both of us huh? You just couldn't wait for a rematch with your greatest foe!'' A weird, fat clownish creature appeared before Dark Pit.

''....and you are?'' The angel would definitely have remembered such an odd creature.

''W-WHAT! H-HOW COULD YOU FORGET ABOUT THE GREAT...Oh Pit, its impolite to tease me so'' the boss smiled ''There is no way you would forget the mighty Thanatos a second time''

''Oh...you mistake me for a pawn as well'' Dark Pit frowned ''I guess I may recall something about a god of easily KO'd snakes'' Dark Pit said

''Uuum...I can remember the snake part but what's a KO? Geez Pit its unlike you to use such hard words''

''Wow...you're even more dim them he is'' The electroshock arm appeared on Dark Pits arm ''THIS is a KO!''

''Aaaaaah! not the face! Not the face!'' In terror Thanatos shape shifted his head into a rubber bondage mask ''Phew! that was close'' he sighed as the rubber nullified the electricity. He pouted ''Wow! A dictionary AND a first degree in CHEATING! You sure have changed Pit!''

''Seriously! A short memmo to everyone in this city: My name is Pittoo!...eh dark P...gaaah!'' The chance to nip this misunderstanding in the butt was lost when Thanatos shape shifted his arm in a spiked mace and slammed Dark Pit into the nearest building

''Take THAT you cheater!''

''Argh...ugh okay...you brought yourself a first grade pummelling! It's time to fell a boss!'' Taking the air once more Dark Pit bombarded his foe with arrow fire.

''Oh pu-leeease! I'm going to end your game once and for all!'' Thanatos declared as he flew in the air as well.

The boss and the hero were evenly matched. Mace and blades clashed in the air, as did arrows and fireballs, feathered wings and the wings of the many bats Thanatos could shape shift into.

This went on for several minutes until dark Pit started getting the upper hand. The angel's attack overpowered that of his enemy who also became too tired to dodge. For some reason a grin appeared on those gigantic blue lips however.

''What's so funny? Finally getting the gigantic joke that is you?'' Dark Pit smirked.

''If you must know I have been counting down the minutes Pit!'' Thanatos said satisfied ''Time's up! game over! don't press continue! We have been fighting for five minutes now! Your wings will burn in three! two! one!'' Palutena's power of flight lasted only for five minutes of course but not being Pit this dark angel was not bound to that rule.

''You must be proud having come up with that. You must be the greatest mind in the underworld...seriously'' Dark Pit snarked.

''I SAID! Your wings will burn up in three! two! one!''

''.....''

''YOUR! WINGS! WILL! BURN UP! IN THREE TWO...YOURWINGSWILLBRUNUPINTHREETWOONE! YOURWINGSWILLBRUNUPINTHREETWOONE!

''Sorry mate, not gonna happen! You are gonna remember one name after tasting the dirt beneath us! And that name is Dark Pit!'' Taking his staff once more Dark Pit fired a charge shot right into Thanatos skull smash bros style!

''Aaaaaah but you didn't grab a smash baaaaaall'' Thanatos screamed before crashing down into the city.

With his victory secured dark Pit landed before his vanquished foe to finish this in style ''I'd almost feel sorry for ya!'' the dark angel declared and struck a pose, an antiheroic pose!

''So sorry to ruin your little victory' a powerful voice rang into Dark Pits head

''The god of the underworld himself. Why don't you come up here so I can destroy a final boss'' All gods needed a lesson in humility and none needed it more than Hades

''I'm afraid you're not quite done with Thanypoo. The god of death is...scheduled for some more fighting in Pitty pat's next stage...I hope you understand. Now how should I be calling you? Dark Pity pat doesn't have a nice ring to it''

''.......'' Dark Pit did something his clone would never be able to do. Hades and his lame comedy routine should be ignored.

''No funny remark? No loss of composure? You are a bore. I miss my Thanypoo already....luckily!''

''What the! Shit!'' Dark Pit yelled as Thanatos rose from the ground. His wounds healed and he was suddenly surrounded in a fierce green aura in the shape of...a worm?

''Hahahahaha time for round two little angel!'' Thanatos laughed ''Crushing victory!''

''A glow worm! Shit! n-no you gotta be kidding me!'' There was nothing Dark Pit could do. The glow worm Thanatos wasn't just fast, he was faster than the human eye! The shape shifting god and his fierce aura tackled Pit with full force ''Gaaaaah I'm finished!''

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

''Uuumgmh! nmhh! mhh!'' Dark Pit was brought down on his knees on a cliff just outside of town. After his defeat the boy had been suitably restrained. His arms were shackled behind him, a chain was wrapped around his torso and his wings were bound. A red knotted cleave gag was tied over his mouth.

''Ahahahha! ha-ha! You faced de-feat! defeat! defeat! lalalala!'' Thanatos danced around from Joy after having defeated ''Pit'

''UUUMMMH! NMHHH! GHMHH!'' Dark Pit cheeks flustered red. Two times he had faced defeat at the hand of Pit and now this even bigger loon joined the list! He wasn't on a roll.

''Lord Hades! Lo and behold! I captured that meddling little angel!'' Thanatos cheered which prompted a spectral image of Hades appear before them.

''Now I do hate to rain on your parade'' Hades chuckled ''But unless Pity pat is going through a little phase then this isn't him. This little angel is Pittoo as in Pit two. Our Palutena can be so clever'' .

''WHAAAAAAT! Pit has a clone!''.

''Ugmmh'' Even bound and in clear danger Dark Pit couldn't help but roll his eyes.

''Hasn't Medusa told you anything Thanypoo?'' Hades wondered.

''Heehehehe I got quite the independent command'' Thanatos said proudly. In other words Medusa had send him on a mission deep under the ocean floor and far, far away from her.

''Nmmn! Lmt mm gh!''

''Hush Pittoo pat'' Hades smiled ''Now what use DO we have for you? It would be a waste not to make use of this''

''LMT MM GH!'' Dark Pit repeated.

''Oh I know! Why don't we make a cute little damsel in distress out of Pittoo pat! Goodness you already have the dress!''

''WAMMPH! NMH! MPHHHH! NHMH!'' Dark Pit screamed, his expression turning into one of horror and his cheeks growing even more red. A damsel was the lamest of roles one could have! Dark Pit was a fighter and not some helpless princess!

''I can picture it right now! Pitty pat rushing forward to save his beloved twin damsel'' Hades smiled

''Hhhmmhh!'' The angry screams got reduced to a desperate whine. That dork saving him was even worse than facing defeat at his hands. Dark Pit was the cool Pit!

''Pittoo pat still doesn't do it'' Hades happily contineud ''How does Pittooey sound? Pittooey the angel bait!''

''LMT MM GH! RNGHT NHW!'' Dark Pit screamed, desperation to retain his ''coolness'' causing his voice to get as high as his counterpart.

''Oh Pitooy you have no idea how Pitiful you look right now'' Hades gloated ''Or should I say...wait for it! Pittooful!''

''MPHHHHHHHH!'' Dark Pit could only kick and scream as underworld monsters appeared and dragged him away.

''Well this should be a nice little scheme but first we have some flowers to pluck'' Hades said ''Thanatos go deal with our little Viridi. She's quite the thorn in my side. I do wish to witness Pitooey perform as a princess but we already have this on our schedule. We underworlders will just have to do a lightning battle and I shall see you! next time. To be contineud!''

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------