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Description
TW: DRUG USE, DEATH MENTION

freddy belongs to BrainCrabs
phoebe is mine

[PHOEBE]

[after she's out of the spring and dried off, she's gonna wander around cinderheart and scope the place out for Imteresting spots she may want to check out. she's actually in a sundress, courtesy of laz. she runs a hand through her damp curls and sighs heavily. settling back into civilization was so easy.]

[FREDDY]

[he could be seen walking a path out of the city, wings twitching. He was moving rather slow, and clearly hasn't properly bathed yet.]

[PHOEBE]

[huh, well there's her mothman. she bounds after him like shes on the moon and she goes to flank him]

hey, freddy...

[oof her tail puffs at seeing his state]

hey what the fuck why haven't you taken a bath yet
it's been a week. on a deserted island.

[FREDDY]

[hearing footsteps behind him he tries to walk a bit quicker- pressing his mouth into a line
its probably no one, I doubt any locals would remember me-he thought to himself before hearing Pheos voice- immediately staggering]

mmknow i know
[his voice was quiet, waving a hand and avoiding looking at her. He could't muster any other words, having to use a hand to push his head up, feeling near impossible to hold it up himself. It's been a long time since hes been like this]

[PHOEBE]

[she keeps flanking him but notices his strange pace. it's got her mind staggering as she looks around his person and tries to meet his eye despite him turning away.]

... ¿estás bien?... [she mutters it more to herself than him, but then she speaks more clearly]

hey. freddy, look at me, are you good?

[she notices his struggle to hold his own head up and her heart palpitates. her ears flatten against her head... she doesn't want to jump to any conclusions but that does Not look good.]

[given the time they've been friends—she HAD noticed he has some strange behaviors and some questionable habits, but nothing's been enough to set off her alarm until now. she tries to intercept his path to take a hold of a pair of his arms gently]

freddy.

[FREDDY]

[He tried so hard to tune her out- it wasn't actually hard, but the mild fear of getting caught loomed over him. Her words echo'd in his mind, but he only stopped walking when she stepped in his way. There was no protest when she held his arms, they were almost limp on her hands, he looked as heavy as he must of felt.]
..... [swallows, head still hanging a bit when he finally looked at her, though it seemed more like he was looking past her]
whatcha need? [he muttered, trying to pull his arms away]

[PHOEBE]

[he wasn't there, barely listening as her words weren't at all digested. she looks down, feeling his arms. they felt like dead weight. she can't get a good look at his face until he goes to meet her gaze. except she's sure he isn't. because he almost looks as though he's staring through her.]

... freddy, are you okay? what... what did you do...

[she looks around hastily and goes to try and escort him to sit down on a bench]

ven aqui—come here, let's—sit down—

[her heart starts racing a mile a minute, her hands start growing clammy and her stomach churns. please, please don't be what she thinks it is, gods please—she wanted to believe he wasn't doing that she thought he was doing. she moves at his pace, trying to scan his person for any more tells]

ai, dios mio,

[FREDDY]

[He couldnt' help but feel mildly annoyed, knitting his eyebrows and trying to pull away from her when she tried to lead him aside, though his yank wasn't all that strong.]

man c'mo n [he huffed] I'm fineim just fucking tired [his words were a little delayed, as if he really had to think through what he wanted to say. Behind him, his wings buzzed erratically, suddenly buzzing then laying down flat again over and over.

I need to go smwhere aight.

[PHOEBE]

[she has a stronger grip on him clearly, but she won't be manhandling him, that's not what he needs. she gives a chiding, soft snarl]

you're a little too tired for it to be normal and that's saying something, we were just stranded.

[she watches his wings vibrate on and off... which... thats not very normal either. her brows furrow and she looks up at him]

where?

[she simply asks. she's going to play along with him until it gets into dangerous territory.]

[FREDDY]

[he let out a shaky breath, all the moving around was helping him loosen up a bit, but he was still very droopy.]

Mountains. [he grumbled, lifting a hand to point, In the far distance you could see a crooked green and white flag waving. It wasn't a short trek]
Now pplease just. leave mealone.
[he grunted, turning to keep walking, wings buzzing as if he might attempt to fly]

[PHOEBE]

[she turns and her eyes follow the direction his hand is pointing and her ears PIN. oh god, all the way out there?—]

you can't be serious, freddy.
you can't walk all the way up there like this, who knows what'd happen to you.

[she grumbles and pouts up at him]

are... are you high right now?
because until you're sobered up you're not going to be flying.

[she does Not let him fly off yet, her wings even open and flex, preparing to flutter after him and snag him before he got too far.]

and i'll go with you, just to make sure you're there safe.
what's even up there that's so important anyways?

[FREDDY]

[he took a deep breath, a bit shaky- running a hand through his hair]
Whats it matter to you
[he practically slurred, pointing at her before dropping his arm]
I- I really. I don't want. company [he was clearly getting a bit irritable] I have I have to check. Something important. I know.. I knwo these mountains.
[he stammered as he tried to clearly explain what he was trying to say, but it didn't at all help his case.]

[PHOEBE]

[she has to fight with herself to keep her composure because he's not thinking clearly. she simply pouts further and watches him clumsily point at her with a finger whose arm drops to his side.]

yeah? it doesn't matter if you want it or not because if i leave you alone you're not going to be safe.

[she squints at him]

we have time before the dungeon, you can check them when you're not like this, [she gestures to his general person.]

[she just... sighs and rubs her temple]

would you just. sit down with me for a few minutes..? you're shaking...

[she isn't offended, she's extremely concerned but shes not about to coddle him]

[FREDDY]

[he was becoming more and more annoyed with every passing minute. He rubbed his face, forcing himself to take a breath] i gotta i have to go up likethis [he practically choked out] fufcking just, just leave me alon e Pheo, Idon't need your help.

[his wings twitched again, before flaring out, flapping. He was making an attempt a flying, even if he Knew it was a bad idea. He was quick to get off his feet, but he obviously wasn't steady.]

[PHOEBE]

[oh no oh no hes getting wound up, she winces a little hearing him struggle with his words like that. her eyes sting and her throat tightens. this was... haunting to watch. it reminded her too well of years gone by]

yes you do, FREDDY—

[her voice raises a bit as she sees him launch himself into the air to attempt flying, and she too leaps, flapping her wings to flutter and try and catch him by clutching his robe]

mírame, look at me,

[she reaches to steady him and try and guide him gently back to the ground inch by inch]

i know. i know what you're dealing with i know how it feels. i've done it too many times before. the only reason i've managed to stay sober this long is because of my aromatherapy.

[she shakes her head, her eyes bulging as she searches his face]

you don't... need to be like this, you don't need to—to go ANYWHERE like this...
why would you..?

[she's even more worried that he feels like its necessary for him to be so high out of his mind in order to go to this place he's going to. is it a bad environment? does it have bad memories? he looks wired beyond belief but she has a feeling he's trying to ward off anxiety, despite his tremors. she adopts a more soothing tone, which is a little uncharacteristic of her with him as of yet]

... i've done this before too... you can tell me why. it's gonna be fine... i don't want to leave you alone right now.

[FREDDY]

FUcking [grunts when hes grabbed, flapping his wings erratically, but his inability to stay steady gave Pheo the clear upper hand, going down was shaky.
he stumbled when his feet touched the ground again, pulling himself away from the fairy once he was balanced again.]

MM- My DAd Is DEAd. [He choked out] I CAn't I Can HHhaRdly [rubs his face, words becoming muffled] I Can hardly mmustter up. the ccourage t-to go up there. noww I [chokes, rubbing his eyes]

I DOn't caRee what you've been through I just want to be alOne I NEED to go up there [he didn't mean that, he knew he didn't. But he could hardly control his emotions now that he felt set off.]
Hhe needs. he needs a gave I nneed [choked sob] I need to make sssure he has a grav e

[PHOEBE]

[once he's balanced she actually flinches at his exclamation. she puts s hand to her heart, it feels like its aching. she just stays where she is and listens to him speak... she doesnt move in closer as to not smother him, and she speaks with the same urgency but she's going to be a little gentler. she grimaces]

... i don't either. i care about what you're going through.

[she reaches up and. wipes a forming tear with the brunt of her palm. she won't say she's sorry for his loss. she feels like he doesnt need pity. she wrings her hands]

...god, freddy...

[she moves closer but she doesnt close the gap, she's going to leave that decision up to him.]

i didn't know. i'm sorry.
... but... freddy this... won't make it hurt any less.. and maybe... you should make sure you're sober first before you take care of his grave.
your health is first.

[she looks down at their feet with a lump in her throat. his dad was the only one he had didn't he? to feel like he's on his own in the world... she remembers it all too well. she just hopes he doesn't think it's true.]

i won't go with you either, it's... private i imagine, but... i don't want you leaving until your head's on straight. you understand?
he'll have a grave, he'll have a proper burial and you're going to make sure of it, just—stop for a moment—breathe in through your nose out through your mouth—and... stay here. for now.
understand..?

[if it goes in one ear and out the other she looks ready to sit with him or just accompany him in general, she's stubborn on not leaving him by himself]

[FREDDY]

[he'd shrunk down into a ball, covering his head and pressing his forehead against his knees. His wings twitched and buzzed as he audibly sobbed.
it was hard to tell if he was listening, but he was.

His emotions were all over the place, scared, mad, frustrated, sad, it was like things switched in the snap of a finger. He just wanted to be calm, relaxed, what he thought was Himself even though it was starting to show that it clearly Wasn't.]

I-- i c ant [he finally choked out, gripping his hair.] I can't do it,, aahh i can't go up there sober i cant,, im scared [his voice was squeaky and stuttered- but he managed to listen to her, taking deep breaths. They started quick but slowly relaxed, though he was still a mess.]

[PHOEBE]

[oh god. she sees him curl up into something of a fetal position and she decides to level with him and scoot up to sit in front of him so he doesnt feel talked down to.]

[she isnt sure if he's listening but she wants him to hear her anyway. she crosses her legs and starts breathing at a steady rhythm for him to come down to... she hugs her knees to her chest and puts her chin on them, her wings folding behind her. her tail curls around his form.]

theeere you go...easy...

[she feels her eyes stinging from welling up themselves, but she watches him closely anyway. he's very vulnerable right now. she has no reason to feel like she needs to hide it herself.]

...i understand it... must be fucking terrifying. but... look at you right now

[she tilts her head]

this is... not going to make things any better. it's just going to stifle them.

[she starts instinctively purring. a stress reliever. she saw herself 10 years ago and her heart wrenched in her chest]

what... what's scaring you..?

[FREDDY]

[He continued breathing while she spoke to him, things seemed to be calming down. He hadn't realized it yet but letting it all out really did help. Even with the state he was in, yelling, crying, letting all that emotion Out was something he'd desperately needed.]

Ah,, I, [he swallowed thickly, lifting his head so his chin rested in his knees, though his tearfilled eyes remained on the ground]
I don't,, want him to be gon e [his voice was quiet and horse. All this panic, his high, and crying was making him seem heavy and sleepy again.]

I never s-seen him. there was never,, any proof,,, nnno. no body
[chokes, wiping his face] but its been
two years
What if i mmade him wait
made him wait 2 years
over 2 whole yea r s to give him t-the goodbye he deserves [he gritted his teeth, wings twitching] No grave, no funeral,,, nothing... oh my go d [he covered his face again with a hand, hiccupping]

[PHOEBE]

[she expected them to argue, in complete honesty. they were too... alike, in this way. and she almost did lose her composure with him, but seeing him now like this... it was gonna be real hard to be short with him.]

[she nods, of course he doesn't want him to be gone. he must've been so good with him then. she could sense that he was going to have a rough coming down period, when one was tweaked out like that it was bound to happen. she wouldn't mention it to freddy, she hasn't even mentioned this to jones, even. but she's got a suspicion that her real mother could be dead. she doesn't know where she is. she doesn't know if she could ever give her the goodbye she deserved. especially with the fact that she was a prostitute. she nods along with him and his points. he doesn't want to come home after so long and find nothing. have nothing. she finally inches closer and rests her chin on his head, nestling his face into her dewlap, her purring throat right by his ears.]

...so you don't want to face it...

[she closes her eyes, croaking that out. it was becoming harder for her to speak too, given the subject, given that another friend was falling apart in her arms. but this hit so close to home it was almost too close for comfort, like with jones. she feels so weary now, like she had with avery at the island. its really hitting her. how much someone can hide.]

the world doesn't wait for anyone... i'm sure he knows that.
you didn't do anything to him, freddy.

[she reaches and rubs circles in his back underneath his wings, her heart beating slow.]

but i think you are torturing yourself. and that's his son you're doing that to.

[FREDDY]

[He was easy to pull forwards, his fight was gone now- all that was left was a man who'd pushed himself to his emotional limits. He was exhausted, physically, emotionally. So much more than the drugs were weighing him down, so much he'd never said out loud, but at least one of those things could finally be ticked off the list.

Ever since it was announced they were going to Obsidian, Shaw weighed heavy on his mind. It was keeping him up at night, and the withdrawals he suffered though on the island only made him feel worse and worse, to the point where he'd just find other ways to self destruct.

He felt... guilty, he always found a way to feel guilty, and Pheos words only enforced that, but in a diffrent way. She was right, he was Shaws son, adopted or not, and he was destroying himself. Those were important words for him to hear- they weren't going to heal him over night, but it was a step in the right direction... someone knowing the truth, and telling him the truth]

[At this point, he was speechless, tired and to choked up to come up with what to say. All he could do was finally reach out and hold onto his friend, gripping the back of her dress. He felt safe, at least for now...]

[PHOEBE]

[she knew that would instill guilt—but he was still responsible for his actions. she didn't want to beat him up for any of this though... she wondered if he'd told anyone else. she doesn't know. she knows he and ajax are close... he and jojo too. regardless... he's told someone. and she'll be watching him a lot more closely. she nuzzles into his head and shuts her eyes, holding him there. she wagers she'll be here for a while longer—her bambino will have to wait up on her if he's in for the night.]

[she too, doesn't say anything else. she feels she's said what he needs to hear right now. instead she focuses on communicating that she's still there for him for support because god dammit he didn't need to suffer alone anymore and he can't be. it was lethal. all she did was keep him on a rhythm of breathing. she knows he can't just quit cold turkey. she didn't. she relapsed a few times. and since being in the guild she's considered relapsing. but it's a part of recovery. and she wants him to know that he doesn't need to feel unnecessary amounts of guilt. he needs to feel a little though. he needs to learn self preservation because he has people that care about him that this effects.]

[she simply continues to practice something that's been a learning curve. patience.]

[FREDDY]

[The closeness was much needed, it was how his father always comforted him... Just, silently holding him. The more he thought about it, the tighter his arms squeezed the Clefable. She really would be there for awhile, but he'd be sure to apologize later.

In time, he stopped crying, body relaxing a bit more, but his grip stayed tight. His mind was beginning to get foggy, msotly out of exhaustion starting to take over.... But at least he finally felt that ease he craved so much...]

Description
TW: DRUG USE, DEATH MENTION

freddy belongs to BrainCrabs
phoebe is mine

[PHOEBE]

[after she's out of the spring and dried off, she's gonna wander around cinderheart and scope the place out for Imteresting spots she may want to check out. she's actually in a sundress, courtesy of laz. she runs a hand through her damp curls and sighs heavily. settling back into civilization was so easy.]

[FREDDY]

[he could be seen walking a path out of the city, wings twitching. He was moving rather slow, and clearly hasn't properly bathed yet.]

[PHOEBE]

[huh, well there's her mothman. she bounds after him like shes on the moon and she goes to flank him]

hey, freddy...

[oof her tail puffs at seeing his state]

hey what the fuck why haven't you taken a bath yet
it's been a week. on a deserted island.

[FREDDY]

[hearing footsteps behind him he tries to walk a bit quicker- pressing his mouth into a line
its probably no one, I doubt any locals would remember me-he thought to himself before hearing Pheos voice- immediately staggering]

mmknow i know
[his voice was quiet, waving a hand and avoiding looking at her. He could't muster any other words, having to use a hand to push his head up, feeling near impossible to hold it up himself. It's been a long time since hes been like this]

[PHOEBE]

[she keeps flanking him but notices his strange pace. it's got her mind staggering as she looks around his person and tries to meet his eye despite him turning away.]

... ¿estás bien?... [she mutters it more to herself than him, but then she speaks more clearly]

hey. freddy, look at me, are you good?

[she notices his struggle to hold his own head up and her heart palpitates. her ears flatten against her head... she doesn't want to jump to any conclusions but that does Not look good.]

[given the time they've been friends—she HAD noticed he has some strange behaviors and some questionable habits, but nothing's been enough to set off her alarm until now. she tries to intercept his path to take a hold of a pair of his arms gently]

freddy.

[FREDDY]

[He tried so hard to tune her out- it wasn't actually hard, but the mild fear of getting caught loomed over him. Her words echo'd in his mind, but he only stopped walking when she stepped in his way. There was no protest when she held his arms, they were almost limp on her hands, he looked as heavy as he must of felt.]
..... [swallows, head still hanging a bit when he finally looked at her, though it seemed more like he was looking past her]
whatcha need? [he muttered, trying to pull his arms away]

[PHOEBE]

[he wasn't there, barely listening as her words weren't at all digested. she looks down, feeling his arms. they felt like dead weight. she can't get a good look at his face until he goes to meet her gaze. except she's sure he isn't. because he almost looks as though he's staring through her.]

... freddy, are you okay? what... what did you do...

[she looks around hastily and goes to try and escort him to sit down on a bench]

ven aqui—come here, let's—sit down—

[her heart starts racing a mile a minute, her hands start growing clammy and her stomach churns. please, please don't be what she thinks it is, gods please—she wanted to believe he wasn't doing that she thought he was doing. she moves at his pace, trying to scan his person for any more tells]

ai, dios mio,

[FREDDY]

[He couldnt' help but feel mildly annoyed, knitting his eyebrows and trying to pull away from her when she tried to lead him aside, though his yank wasn't all that strong.]

man c'mo n [he huffed] I'm fineim just fucking tired [his words were a little delayed, as if he really had to think through what he wanted to say. Behind him, his wings buzzed erratically, suddenly buzzing then laying down flat again over and over.

I need to go smwhere aight.

[PHOEBE]

[she has a stronger grip on him clearly, but she won't be manhandling him, that's not what he needs. she gives a chiding, soft snarl]

you're a little too tired for it to be normal and that's saying something, we were just stranded.

[she watches his wings vibrate on and off... which... thats not very normal either. her brows furrow and she looks up at him]

where?

[she simply asks. she's going to play along with him until it gets into dangerous territory.]

[FREDDY]

[he let out a shaky breath, all the moving around was helping him loosen up a bit, but he was still very droopy.]

Mountains. [he grumbled, lifting a hand to point, In the far distance you could see a crooked green and white flag waving. It wasn't a short trek]
Now pplease just. leave mealone.
[he grunted, turning to keep walking, wings buzzing as if he might attempt to fly]

[PHOEBE]

[she turns and her eyes follow the direction his hand is pointing and her ears PIN. oh god, all the way out there?—]

you can't be serious, freddy.
you can't walk all the way up there like this, who knows what'd happen to you.

[she grumbles and pouts up at him]

are... are you high right now?
because until you're sobered up you're not going to be flying.

[she does Not let him fly off yet, her wings even open and flex, preparing to flutter after him and snag him before he got too far.]

and i'll go with you, just to make sure you're there safe.
what's even up there that's so important anyways?

[FREDDY]

[he took a deep breath, a bit shaky- running a hand through his hair]
Whats it matter to you
[he practically slurred, pointing at her before dropping his arm]
I- I really. I don't want. company [he was clearly getting a bit irritable] I have I have to check. Something important. I know.. I knwo these mountains.
[he stammered as he tried to clearly explain what he was trying to say, but it didn't at all help his case.]

[PHOEBE]

[she has to fight with herself to keep her composure because he's not thinking clearly. she simply pouts further and watches him clumsily point at her with a finger whose arm drops to his side.]

yeah? it doesn't matter if you want it or not because if i leave you alone you're not going to be safe.

[she squints at him]

we have time before the dungeon, you can check them when you're not like this, [she gestures to his general person.]

[she just... sighs and rubs her temple]

would you just. sit down with me for a few minutes..? you're shaking...

[she isn't offended, she's extremely concerned but shes not about to coddle him]

[FREDDY]

[he was becoming more and more annoyed with every passing minute. He rubbed his face, forcing himself to take a breath] i gotta i have to go up likethis [he practically choked out] fufcking just, just leave me alon e Pheo, Idon't need your help.

[his wings twitched again, before flaring out, flapping. He was making an attempt a flying, even if he Knew it was a bad idea. He was quick to get off his feet, but he obviously wasn't steady.]

[PHOEBE]

[oh no oh no hes getting wound up, she winces a little hearing him struggle with his words like that. her eyes sting and her throat tightens. this was... haunting to watch. it reminded her too well of years gone by]

yes you do, FREDDY—

[her voice raises a bit as she sees him launch himself into the air to attempt flying, and she too leaps, flapping her wings to flutter and try and catch him by clutching his robe]

mírame, look at me,

[she reaches to steady him and try and guide him gently back to the ground inch by inch]

i know. i know what you're dealing with i know how it feels. i've done it too many times before. the only reason i've managed to stay sober this long is because of my aromatherapy.

[she shakes her head, her eyes bulging as she searches his face]

you don't... need to be like this, you don't need to—to go ANYWHERE like this...
why would you..?

[she's even more worried that he feels like its necessary for him to be so high out of his mind in order to go to this place he's going to. is it a bad environment? does it have bad memories? he looks wired beyond belief but she has a feeling he's trying to ward off anxiety, despite his tremors. she adopts a more soothing tone, which is a little uncharacteristic of her with him as of yet]

... i've done this before too... you can tell me why. it's gonna be fine... i don't want to leave you alone right now.

[FREDDY]

FUcking [grunts when hes grabbed, flapping his wings erratically, but his inability to stay steady gave Pheo the clear upper hand, going down was shaky.
he stumbled when his feet touched the ground again, pulling himself away from the fairy once he was balanced again.]

MM- My DAd Is DEAd. [He choked out] I CAn't I Can HHhaRdly [rubs his face, words becoming muffled] I Can hardly mmustter up. the ccourage t-to go up there. noww I [chokes, rubbing his eyes]

I DOn't caRee what you've been through I just want to be alOne I NEED to go up there [he didn't mean that, he knew he didn't. But he could hardly control his emotions now that he felt set off.]
Hhe needs. he needs a gave I nneed [choked sob] I need to make sssure he has a grav e

[PHOEBE]

[once he's balanced she actually flinches at his exclamation. she puts s hand to her heart, it feels like its aching. she just stays where she is and listens to him speak... she doesnt move in closer as to not smother him, and she speaks with the same urgency but she's going to be a little gentler. she grimaces]

... i don't either. i care about what you're going through.

[she reaches up and. wipes a forming tear with the brunt of her palm. she won't say she's sorry for his loss. she feels like he doesnt need pity. she wrings her hands]

...god, freddy...

[she moves closer but she doesnt close the gap, she's going to leave that decision up to him.]

i didn't know. i'm sorry.
... but... freddy this... won't make it hurt any less.. and maybe... you should make sure you're sober first before you take care of his grave.
your health is first.

[she looks down at their feet with a lump in her throat. his dad was the only one he had didn't he? to feel like he's on his own in the world... she remembers it all too well. she just hopes he doesn't think it's true.]

i won't go with you either, it's... private i imagine, but... i don't want you leaving until your head's on straight. you understand?
he'll have a grave, he'll have a proper burial and you're going to make sure of it, just—stop for a moment—breathe in through your nose out through your mouth—and... stay here. for now.
understand..?

[if it goes in one ear and out the other she looks ready to sit with him or just accompany him in general, she's stubborn on not leaving him by himself]

[FREDDY]

[he'd shrunk down into a ball, covering his head and pressing his forehead against his knees. His wings twitched and buzzed as he audibly sobbed.
it was hard to tell if he was listening, but he was.

His emotions were all over the place, scared, mad, frustrated, sad, it was like things switched in the snap of a finger. He just wanted to be calm, relaxed, what he thought was Himself even though it was starting to show that it clearly Wasn't.]

I-- i c ant [he finally choked out, gripping his hair.] I can't do it,, aahh i can't go up there sober i cant,, im scared [his voice was squeaky and stuttered- but he managed to listen to her, taking deep breaths. They started quick but slowly relaxed, though he was still a mess.]

[PHOEBE]

[oh god. she sees him curl up into something of a fetal position and she decides to level with him and scoot up to sit in front of him so he doesnt feel talked down to.]

[she isnt sure if he's listening but she wants him to hear her anyway. she crosses her legs and starts breathing at a steady rhythm for him to come down to... she hugs her knees to her chest and puts her chin on them, her wings folding behind her. her tail curls around his form.]

theeere you go...easy...

[she feels her eyes stinging from welling up themselves, but she watches him closely anyway. he's very vulnerable right now. she has no reason to feel like she needs to hide it herself.]

...i understand it... must be fucking terrifying. but... look at you right now

[she tilts her head]

this is... not going to make things any better. it's just going to stifle them.

[she starts instinctively purring. a stress reliever. she saw herself 10 years ago and her heart wrenched in her chest]

what... what's scaring you..?

[FREDDY]

[He continued breathing while she spoke to him, things seemed to be calming down. He hadn't realized it yet but letting it all out really did help. Even with the state he was in, yelling, crying, letting all that emotion Out was something he'd desperately needed.]

Ah,, I, [he swallowed thickly, lifting his head so his chin rested in his knees, though his tearfilled eyes remained on the ground]
I don't,, want him to be gon e [his voice was quiet and horse. All this panic, his high, and crying was making him seem heavy and sleepy again.]

I never s-seen him. there was never,, any proof,,, nnno. no body
[chokes, wiping his face] but its been
two years
What if i mmade him wait
made him wait 2 years
over 2 whole yea r s to give him t-the goodbye he deserves [he gritted his teeth, wings twitching] No grave, no funeral,,, nothing... oh my go d [he covered his face again with a hand, hiccupping]

[PHOEBE]

[she expected them to argue, in complete honesty. they were too... alike, in this way. and she almost did lose her composure with him, but seeing him now like this... it was gonna be real hard to be short with him.]

[she nods, of course he doesn't want him to be gone. he must've been so good with him then. she could sense that he was going to have a rough coming down period, when one was tweaked out like that it was bound to happen. she wouldn't mention it to freddy, she hasn't even mentioned this to jones, even. but she's got a suspicion that her real mother could be dead. she doesn't know where she is. she doesn't know if she could ever give her the goodbye she deserved. especially with the fact that she was a prostitute. she nods along with him and his points. he doesn't want to come home after so long and find nothing. have nothing. she finally inches closer and rests her chin on his head, nestling his face into her dewlap, her purring throat right by his ears.]

...so you don't want to face it...

[she closes her eyes, croaking that out. it was becoming harder for her to speak too, given the subject, given that another friend was falling apart in her arms. but this hit so close to home it was almost too close for comfort, like with jones. she feels so weary now, like she had with avery at the island. its really hitting her. how much someone can hide.]

the world doesn't wait for anyone... i'm sure he knows that.
you didn't do anything to him, freddy.

[she reaches and rubs circles in his back underneath his wings, her heart beating slow.]

but i think you are torturing yourself. and that's his son you're doing that to.

[FREDDY]

[He was easy to pull forwards, his fight was gone now- all that was left was a man who'd pushed himself to his emotional limits. He was exhausted, physically, emotionally. So much more than the drugs were weighing him down, so much he'd never said out loud, but at least one of those things could finally be ticked off the list.

Ever since it was announced they were going to Obsidian, Shaw weighed heavy on his mind. It was keeping him up at night, and the withdrawals he suffered though on the island only made him feel worse and worse, to the point where he'd just find other ways to self destruct.

He felt... guilty, he always found a way to feel guilty, and Pheos words only enforced that, but in a diffrent way. She was right, he was Shaws son, adopted or not, and he was destroying himself. Those were important words for him to hear- they weren't going to heal him over night, but it was a step in the right direction... someone knowing the truth, and telling him the truth]

[At this point, he was speechless, tired and to choked up to come up with what to say. All he could do was finally reach out and hold onto his friend, gripping the back of her dress. He felt safe, at least for now...]

[PHOEBE]

[she knew that would instill guilt—but he was still responsible for his actions. she didn't want to beat him up for any of this though... she wondered if he'd told anyone else. she doesn't know. she knows he and ajax are close... he and jojo too. regardless... he's told someone. and she'll be watching him a lot more closely. she nuzzles into his head and shuts her eyes, holding him there. she wagers she'll be here for a while longer—her bambino will have to wait up on her if he's in for the night.]

[she too, doesn't say anything else. she feels she's said what he needs to hear right now. instead she focuses on communicating that she's still there for him for support because god dammit he didn't need to suffer alone anymore and he can't be. it was lethal. all she did was keep him on a rhythm of breathing. she knows he can't just quit cold turkey. she didn't. she relapsed a few times. and since being in the guild she's considered relapsing. but it's a part of recovery. and she wants him to know that he doesn't need to feel unnecessary amounts of guilt. he needs to feel a little though. he needs to learn self preservation because he has people that care about him that this effects.]

[she simply continues to practice something that's been a learning curve. patience.]

[FREDDY]

[The closeness was much needed, it was how his father always comforted him... Just, silently holding him. The more he thought about it, the tighter his arms squeezed the Clefable. She really would be there for awhile, but he'd be sure to apologize later.

In time, he stopped crying, body relaxing a bit more, but his grip stayed tight. His mind was beginning to get foggy, msotly out of exhaustion starting to take over.... But at least he finally felt that ease he craved so much...]