Comments: 15
scyth118 [2013-01-27 23:12:55 +0000 UTC]
Overall
Vision
Originality
Technique
Impact
I think this looks just as well done as your first page, but I do notice a few elements that I believe need some attention. I'm only writing so much because you have done so many things really well and I LOVE this strip you are producing!
Firstly, the rim lighting you have on the main character is a little excessive and the source of the light isn't always clear. From the intensity of the purple light you have shining on her, it really does look like she has an intense spotlight following her around.
Also, especially in the first and third panels, the direction of the light is a little confusing. In the first panel, she has a window behind her (granted it looks very dim outside) but all the light seems to be coming from inside the room she is walking into. I think you could really sell that setup if you had some shadows on the floor coming from her and perhaps the door as well. Would make it easier for the reader to imagine the light source. In the third panel, if you look at the background (bushes) it looks like the light is coming from the top-right corner of the scene, but the rim lighting on the main character appears on the bottom of her face and hair. This makes it seem that the light source is at the low/middle right instead. Just something to consider.
Secondly, size and perspective. I really only see an issue in the first panel. The difference between the door handles on both doors is quite a lot. The handle she is touching is both a lot lower and a lot larger then the handle behind her. Granted, there should be a slight difference because of perspective, but it shouldn't be nearly that much. As for the hallway behind her, the angle difference between the wall/windows and the doorway is pretty extreme. When you really look at it, though the perspective effect looks good, the doorway looks to be sitting at a 45 degree difference in relation to the wall, which isn't very realistic for a normal hallway. Again I think it's just a case of a nice effect being a little too extreme.
All that aside, I love her expressions e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/sā¦ " width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Smile)"/> On both her and the animal I love the emotions you have given them. The main character also looks consistent and animated/interesting in every panel. The colors are great, the text is clear, the joke from the chipmunk made me laugh, and I like the setting a lot.
So all in all, great work! Just wanted to point out a few things that I think could improve the panel. I'm very much looking forward to the rest of the series.
š: 0 ā©: 2
scyth118 In reply to scyth118 [2013-02-04 08:54:52 +0000 UTC]
Nothing wrong with trying out new techniques!
It's just that in this page you have the character in a very low light situation and yet the highlight is very, very bright. My advice is not that the highlights are conceptually bad, just too bright and in need of a little adjustment.
This is ALL just my opinion though, but for me to simply comes down to the fact that this is a comic, not a character centerfold. If I am thinking of the right artist, ShoNuff44, his work is mostly character centered and the focus is just on showing them in detail. It's a little different than a comic in which the environment and setting are much larger factors. The lighting and direction need to convey a consistent and believable idea throughout all the panels. And in this case, it just doesn't quite match completely.
Just my opinion though, if there is any help I can give I would be more than happy too. I love what you are doing, just cant fight off the whole spotlight effect and other things I mentioned.
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GoblinHordeStudios In reply to scyth118 [2013-02-04 00:06:38 +0000 UTC]
Yeah I tried to experiment with this page since im not used to using a light source, in the past I would use shadow to help enphesize shape but Ive been trying to change that but unfortunately im kinda oblivious about it. I see it in other artists like shonuff who uses flat colors one light one dark with sometimes a highlight and it looks good but I don't really understand how to apply it to my own art.
Great critique btw
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scyth118 In reply to GoblinHordeStudios [2013-02-06 03:09:07 +0000 UTC]
I'll pop you a note with the rest of the details I have for ya!
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scyth118 In reply to Rusty-Knight-X [2013-01-28 00:22:29 +0000 UTC]
Very good points! Would help add some consistency. Fair critique.
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paradocks1 [2013-08-04 14:43:55 +0000 UTC]
Sorry can not make It funnyer can't read words slow computer.
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spacezillazon [2013-01-27 23:07:24 +0000 UTC]
well colored,detailed. this looks interesting
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xSamiamrg7x [2013-01-25 22:20:08 +0000 UTC]
I like the coloring in this one better than the other one, it seems more smooth.
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DarkShadowMD [2013-01-24 06:29:32 +0000 UTC]
looks nice so far!! I love original comics!
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Dragonkingmark [2013-01-24 02:31:28 +0000 UTC]
beware the squirrel XD
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NinjaHeart [2013-01-23 23:15:22 +0000 UTC]
Part of me is looking forward to what's going to happen, but the other part of me is expecting the worst...
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