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Description
*PS... Quite long*
You know those days where you feel like total shit?  Where you can’t see the point in living because you feel worthless and alone?  The days where you just want to lie down on your bed and die?  Because you think everyone would be better off without you?  Well today was one of those days, which ended up with me finally, learning a lesson I should’ve learned a long time ago.

It all started off with a conversation with my friend.  I don’t know about you but I tend to easily get jealous, which often leads to bad things; this time was no different.  He had a friend over and seemed to be enjoying his time with his friend, taking somewhat longer periods of time to reply.  Of course since I wanted his attention, I got jealous.  I began to reply with short answers and became a bit bitchy and he thought I was pissed off at him.  He then said I didn’t care and logged off.

I absolutely felt horrible.  The negative thoughts of myself began to run through my head. “You’re useless!” “You always screw things up.” “Why are you alive?”  As they replayed in my mind I crawled over to my corner, brought my knees to my chest and just cried.  Why did these things always seem to happen to me?  I didn’t know.

After quite some time I reached for my knife.  I hadn’t done it for a while because I hadn’t felt that way.  So there I was, with no thought in mind about how the people would’ve felt.  All I could see was the word “Failure.” I sunk the blade into my thigh and dug it across.  Blood seeped out long with my sadness, not realizing what I would’ve caused in the future.

I heard the little noise informing me of a message and so I checked the computer screen. It was my friend.  We began chatting again and soon after things were good… Or so I thought.  I hinted that I had cut myself and of course he caught on.  He asked me if I had and I answered with a guilty ‘yes.’  It was the moment after that, that I shall always remember.  I watched him get up out of his chair and walk over to a drawer. He took something out and walked over to his computer again- His razor.

I told him not to.  He said no.  He then asked me why I did it if I knew it would hurt him.  I was blank for a second and then drowned with guilt.  I realized when I was doing it… I had no thought of how it’d hurt the ones close to me.  I had been selfish and stupid.  Sadly it didn’t end there.  A moment later he ran that razor down his arm… several times.  I watched with tears streaming down my face.  It was if that same razor was sinking into my heart.  It hurt so much.  I felt pain beyond being able to have been described by words.  It must have been felt to know how it hurt.

Finally I realized even if you don’t think people care, or something you do won’t hurt or affect someone, it may.  Even if you may not believe it, it most likely does.  It’s one of those things where you never know what it’s like, until someone shows it to you.  It might be someone you don’t know, or even love dearly who does it to you.  I just wish that it didn’t have to be him to show me how selfish I had been.  I could’ve learned it by myself, but I didn’t.  As my consequence I had to watch him do what I had done onto myself.  He proved me beyond being wrong… It did hurt far from what I believed.

Description
*PS... Quite long*
You know those days where you feel like total shit?  Where you can’t see the point in living because you feel worthless and alone?  The days where you just want to lie down on your bed and die?  Because you think everyone would be better off without you?  Well today was one of those days, which ended up with me finally, learning a lesson I should’ve learned a long time ago.

It all started off with a conversation with my friend.  I don’t know about you but I tend to easily get jealous, which often leads to bad things; this time was no different.  He had a friend over and seemed to be enjoying his time with his friend, taking somewhat longer periods of time to reply.  Of course since I wanted his attention, I got jealous.  I began to reply with short answers and became a bit bitchy and he thought I was pissed off at him.  He then said I didn’t care and logged off.

I absolutely felt horrible.  The negative thoughts of myself began to run through my head. “You’re useless!” “You always screw things up.” “Why are you alive?”  As they replayed in my mind I crawled over to my corner, brought my knees to my chest and just cried.  Why did these things always seem to happen to me?  I didn’t know.

After quite some time I reached for my knife.  I hadn’t done it for a while because I hadn’t felt that way.  So there I was, with no thought in mind about how the people would’ve felt.  All I could see was the word “Failure.” I sunk the blade into my thigh and dug it across.  Blood seeped out long with my sadness, not realizing what I would’ve caused in the future.

I heard the little noise informing me of a message and so I checked the computer screen. It was my friend.  We began chatting again and soon after things were good… Or so I thought.  I hinted that I had cut myself and of course he caught on.  He asked me if I had and I answered with a guilty ‘yes.’  It was the moment after that, that I shall always remember.  I watched him get up out of his chair and walk over to a drawer. He took something out and walked over to his computer again- His razor.

I told him not to.  He said no.  He then asked me why I did it if I knew it would hurt him.  I was blank for a second and then drowned with guilt.  I realized when I was doing it… I had no thought of how it’d hurt the ones close to me.  I had been selfish and stupid.  Sadly it didn’t end there.  A moment later he ran that razor down his arm… several times.  I watched with tears streaming down my face.  It was if that same razor was sinking into my heart.  It hurt so much.  I felt pain beyond being able to have been described by words.  It must have been felt to know how it hurt.

Finally I realized even if you don’t think people care, or something you do won’t hurt or affect someone, it may.  Even if you may not believe it, it most likely does.  It’s one of those things where you never know what it’s like, until someone shows it to you.  It might be someone you don’t know, or even love dearly who does it to you.  I just wish that it didn’t have to be him to show me how selfish I had been.  I could’ve learned it by myself, but I didn’t.  As my consequence I had to watch him do what I had done onto myself.  He proved me beyond being wrong… It did hurt far from what I believed.