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GottaGoBlast β College Life: Ch.1 pg.61
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Published: 2016-10-24 00:02:57 +0000 UTC; Views: 34835; Favourites: 176; Downloads: 29
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Comments: 41
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I know where this is going if ya know what I meanΒ Β Β Β
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It's the smell of yaoi in the air!
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I wonder what will happen~ a "private dance" π
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Ohhhhhh. Can't wait to see what happens next.
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Hey dude, I've been enjoying this comic a lot! I hope you don't mind if I give you some criticism. I hope this is helpful, but if it comes off as abrasive, I have to apologize in advance.
The one thing I wanted to bring up is pacing. I have been enjoying this comic, really! But the time skips are quite drastic. These last two pages have both started with an abrupt time skip of some kind... The last fifteen pages alone have had six. This isn't saying time jumps can't work in the right context - I think skipping from "see you on Halloween" to "oh, it's Halloween now" was completely acceptable - But don't jump cut to the future if you can use a few panels to show time passing. Showing time passing without outright saying that time passed will make things flow much better.
Like, this is a scene at the same party as the last page. Instead of saying it's later at the party, you could have shown the party dying down, or a few panels of sonic or shadow passing the time. Maybe with the moon or a clock or something else to show how long they've been there? Remember, showing something happening is much more effective than just stating what happened.
Sorry to prattle on - I really have been enjoying this! I really only have the one big complaint, my other complaints are all pointless nitpicks. I just want to help you with your storytelling. You're clearly capable of a lot, and I want to make sure you're making the kind of content I know you can make. π
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It's okay, I like getting criticism. I do see what you are saying, it's just something I need to improve on. Thank you for your input!
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Yeah oh lord
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Β This is what happens when I read a sonadow comic that involves a partyΒ and sometimes I get really board Β
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Β At lest I know someone thinks I'm kinda funny
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I'm sure Sonic is inwardly screaming cause he's been waiting for that moment for quite some time haha xDDD Idk my mind is probably putting to much into it x'DDD
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