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I could hardly sleep that night; Hearing Mr. J’s voice in my head drove me nuts, but Batman’s kept interfering. It was like havin’ the crazy devil on one shoulder and a black angel on the other. I had to get to Mr. J, he needed me... but so did Batman. In fact, I felt a presence in the room when I was still somewhat waking up. I turned over and I gasped, pulling the sheets up to my neck.

“Don’tcha know to knock before entering a lady’s boudoir B-man?” I grumbled.

“I don’t have much time. I need to run. But I believe you have something to tell me.” he stated plainly.

“You tapped into the phone line last night didn’t ya?” I frowned.

“All the phone lines here are equipped with recorders. Especially with you here, who knows who might come in contact.” I took that as a blow, but he had every reason I guess.

“Ok fine, yeah Mr. J called last night. He needs me!” I swooned.

“Go to him.” he said.

“What?” I trembled.

“Are you afraid of him?”

“Of, of course not! What would make you think such a thing? He’s still my puddin’...” I sighed.

“Well, we can’t let him know that you and I are working together. Don’t worry, I’ll know if I need to take an intervention.” Smart ass. Putting my life on the line and being all cocky thinking he will save the day. Typical heroes.

“I think I can do my job without being saved.” I stuck out my tongue.
“Well then that would be a first. But for what it’s worth, take this.” He tossed me a small device with a red diamond button, to match my suit so it would blend in. Genius really.

“What is it?”

“Just in case.” He walked out and vanished.

I pulled down my sheets and crossed my arms thinking about my plan. Talk about one big joke...

I left the Manor in my Harlequin costume, feeling really nervous, but I headed back to Mr. J’s place. With my little red button, at least I knew I had backup. Hopefully I wouldn’t get tossed out the window before he could save me. After a while I did hope that Mr. J would miss me, just a little bit...

I went through the back door to Mr. J’s office. No one knew how to get back there but me. He was there, scribbling away at his blueprints as usual. I slammed the door to get his attention.

“Puddin’? I’m back!” I grinned.

He turned his chair around, “Harley! Baby! Welcome back! I was expecting you!”

“You were?” I smiled at him, hugging him. I missed his embrace and the soft look in his eyes whenever he was happy. We rubbed noses and then he slowly let me go.
“So, did you get anything?”

“Not quite, but I didn’t have enough information from you. In fact, he is looking for you too!” I exclaimed.

“Well, you know how it goes Harley, round and round goes the Gotham Merry-go-round!” he laughed. “Well, if it means getting little Batsy to spilling the beans, I will give you some questions to ask him, we can adjust the plan slightly.”

“I’m all ears puddin’! fire away!” I sprawled on his desk with a pad of paper and a pen.
“First question,” he said as he paced, “Why is a raven like a writing desk?”

I raised a brow, but realized it was a joke, “Ha, Ha good one Mr. J!” I laughed. He grinned and chuckled too. “Now really, who could answer that question! After all it just makes one almost delusional!” He continued to laugh his hearty laugh.

“All jokes aside though, my first real question is what if the military superheroes had the ability to carry nuclear power?”

“Nuclear power?” I repeated. “Why would ya need that for?”

“It’s just a question, keep writing!” he raised his voice. “Now, how could he (meaning Batsy) compromise with me, to say, launch the weapons on the government’s behalf?”
I kept writing, feeling nervous about this plan.

“And last one, for now, how much would each superhero plus its weapons and labor cost?” I wrote every word.

“So, um, Mr. J, what exactly is your new fine plan?” I batted my eyes with a smile out of curiosity.

He turned to me slightly, his arms crossed behind his back. “Well, it’s simple really. I adapt to the plan that I stole from the Pentagon about creating these “man-made” heroes and pay off all my debts! You know how America is obsessed with boasting its military scene and I intend to help them. We would be the first ones in American history to start such a project! But the real genius of it is, I can take all the credit and get paid for it by the taxpayers!” he laughed uproarously. “Everyone hate North Korea’s guts as it is! And honestly, I could give a damn about the war, but the credit for a newly designed weapon? Now that’s something flashy wouldn’t you say?” I laughed with him, but the nuclear weapons were still on my mind.

“But puddin’, where are the weapons coming from?”

“That’s the part I’m still working on...” he went back to his chair and slumped. “I can’t find anyone willing to assist my plan in finding a good scientist to create some nukes. If only I could find one...”

“I could find one for ya!” I jumped at the idea, just to make my puddin’ happy. I forgot all about my loyalties to Batman.

“Could you? Why Harley, you’re such a lovely assistant.” He patted my head. I squealed in happiness.

“If you can find me a nuclear scientist within one week, you shall be rewarded Harley.” He winked at me.

I saluted, “I won’t fail you this time Mr. J! I promise!” It was a vow I intended to keep.

The next day, I was back at the Manor, but I lied to Mr. Alfred and Batman saying that Mr. J was gone somewhere and that I couldn’t track him since I had none of my old devices. What I did figure out on the way back was I needed to get Mr. J an undercover nuke scientist. The only person who would have the best access was in the palm of my hand.

When I undressed out of costume and in some jeans and a white t-shirt, I went to Mr. Alfred. He was in his study, reading some ancient American classic. I tapped my knuckles on the door.

“Mr. Alfred, can I come in?”

“Of course, Miss Harleen.” He put his book down and gestured me to sit.

“No it’s ok, I don’t have much time, I need access to a computer. To a database in particular.”

“Which database?”

“All of the governmental scientists of Gotham. There are lots here and I need to warn them of Mr. J’s plan with the man-made superheroes. They need to know if something goes wrong, ya know?”

“Excellent idea, follow me.”

He took me down to a long hallway until we came to a door. A plain wood door, nothing special, but it was rather, well, tiny.

“Um, ya sure this is the right room?” I pointed.

“Yes, follow me.” He opened the door and it was a broom closet.

“Don’t mean to be a booger, but these aren’t computers.”

“Of course they are.” And he fuddled around with them, picking one up that had old bristles on it and tapped the wall. In an instant, we were moving downward.

“What the-?” I grasped the walls. It was an elevator, and a rickety one at that. Once we got to the bottom after it seemed like forever, Mr. Alfred tapped the wall again.

The door opened and we were in a massive computer lab. Every technical device you could think of was in my hands. I was very giddy. Mr. Alfred guided me. He took a seat next to the largest computer, and began typing on a large vision projected keyboard. He began typing away and retrieved the database.

“There are over 2,000 undercover scientists in Gotham alone, there are many more, but since we are talking about the Joker here, I highly doubt he will mobilize since he wants to keep Batman at bay.”

“You’ve been through this before haven’t ya?” I said, still gazing at the fast-paced screen.

“Believe me, Miss Harleen, you would be amazed.” he smirked.

“So, how do we notify them?” I asked.

“Simple, we will speak to the Chief of the Gotham Ground Laboratories.” He punched in a name: Dr. Gwen Lithingham. Instantly a screen with a lady’s face popped up. She had dark glasses, a white lab coat and her hair in a tight black bun.

“This is Dr. Lithingham speaking.”

“Dr. Lithingham, this is Mr. Alfred from Wayne Manor. Pleasure to be speaking to you.”
“As always Mr. Alfred. How may I assist you?”

“Batman is working on a highly classified mission to halt a plan of altering the functioning of man-made superheroes. I’m sure you’re aware of the controversy surrounding the Pentagon at this time?”

“Yes, it is quite devastating. We were looking forward to partnering with the government, but now with the plans stolen, we cannot jeopardize the country or look bad to the people. We must remain quiet.”

“Well, we cannot argue ethics here Doctor. We need to warn your entire team here in Gotham just in case the Joker stops by and attempts to influence you to continue this plan. especially if your research has unsupportive conclusions and effective methods of usage.”

“You make an excellent point Mr. Alfred. I will notify the team presently. Oh, and please do tell Batman that we are still undergoing the research.”

“Naturally, Doctor. Godspeed.” And he hung up. “There, now at least they are warned.”
Some instinct of mine told me that she was fooling Mr. Alfred. I could hear her disappointment at this phone call. She was thirsty for a scientific experiment, not to mention to do something. Thanks to Mr. Alfred’s genius idea of showing me around the database, I decided to give her an offer she couldn’t refuse.

But then, I heard Batman’s voice in my head again, “Don’t disappoint me Harley,” he whispered sternly. I felt guilty, but I had to do this. Mr. J was counting on me...

Description
I could hardly sleep that night; Hearing Mr. J’s voice in my head drove me nuts, but Batman’s kept interfering. It was like havin’ the crazy devil on one shoulder and a black angel on the other. I had to get to Mr. J, he needed me... but so did Batman. In fact, I felt a presence in the room when I was still somewhat waking up. I turned over and I gasped, pulling the sheets up to my neck.

“Don’tcha know to knock before entering a lady’s boudoir B-man?” I grumbled.

“I don’t have much time. I need to run. But I believe you have something to tell me.” he stated plainly.

“You tapped into the phone line last night didn’t ya?” I frowned.

“All the phone lines here are equipped with recorders. Especially with you here, who knows who might come in contact.” I took that as a blow, but he had every reason I guess.

“Ok fine, yeah Mr. J called last night. He needs me!” I swooned.

“Go to him.” he said.

“What?” I trembled.

“Are you afraid of him?”

“Of, of course not! What would make you think such a thing? He’s still my puddin’...” I sighed.

“Well, we can’t let him know that you and I are working together. Don’t worry, I’ll know if I need to take an intervention.” Smart ass. Putting my life on the line and being all cocky thinking he will save the day. Typical heroes.

“I think I can do my job without being saved.” I stuck out my tongue.
“Well then that would be a first. But for what it’s worth, take this.” He tossed me a small device with a red diamond button, to match my suit so it would blend in. Genius really.

“What is it?”

“Just in case.” He walked out and vanished.

I pulled down my sheets and crossed my arms thinking about my plan. Talk about one big joke...

I left the Manor in my Harlequin costume, feeling really nervous, but I headed back to Mr. J’s place. With my little red button, at least I knew I had backup. Hopefully I wouldn’t get tossed out the window before he could save me. After a while I did hope that Mr. J would miss me, just a little bit...

I went through the back door to Mr. J’s office. No one knew how to get back there but me. He was there, scribbling away at his blueprints as usual. I slammed the door to get his attention.

“Puddin’? I’m back!” I grinned.

He turned his chair around, “Harley! Baby! Welcome back! I was expecting you!”

“You were?” I smiled at him, hugging him. I missed his embrace and the soft look in his eyes whenever he was happy. We rubbed noses and then he slowly let me go.
“So, did you get anything?”

“Not quite, but I didn’t have enough information from you. In fact, he is looking for you too!” I exclaimed.

“Well, you know how it goes Harley, round and round goes the Gotham Merry-go-round!” he laughed. “Well, if it means getting little Batsy to spilling the beans, I will give you some questions to ask him, we can adjust the plan slightly.”

“I’m all ears puddin’! fire away!” I sprawled on his desk with a pad of paper and a pen.
“First question,” he said as he paced, “Why is a raven like a writing desk?”

I raised a brow, but realized it was a joke, “Ha, Ha good one Mr. J!” I laughed. He grinned and chuckled too. “Now really, who could answer that question! After all it just makes one almost delusional!” He continued to laugh his hearty laugh.

“All jokes aside though, my first real question is what if the military superheroes had the ability to carry nuclear power?”

“Nuclear power?” I repeated. “Why would ya need that for?”

“It’s just a question, keep writing!” he raised his voice. “Now, how could he (meaning Batsy) compromise with me, to say, launch the weapons on the government’s behalf?”
I kept writing, feeling nervous about this plan.

“And last one, for now, how much would each superhero plus its weapons and labor cost?” I wrote every word.

“So, um, Mr. J, what exactly is your new fine plan?” I batted my eyes with a smile out of curiosity.

He turned to me slightly, his arms crossed behind his back. “Well, it’s simple really. I adapt to the plan that I stole from the Pentagon about creating these “man-made” heroes and pay off all my debts! You know how America is obsessed with boasting its military scene and I intend to help them. We would be the first ones in American history to start such a project! But the real genius of it is, I can take all the credit and get paid for it by the taxpayers!” he laughed uproarously. “Everyone hate North Korea’s guts as it is! And honestly, I could give a damn about the war, but the credit for a newly designed weapon? Now that’s something flashy wouldn’t you say?” I laughed with him, but the nuclear weapons were still on my mind.

“But puddin’, where are the weapons coming from?”

“That’s the part I’m still working on...” he went back to his chair and slumped. “I can’t find anyone willing to assist my plan in finding a good scientist to create some nukes. If only I could find one...”

“I could find one for ya!” I jumped at the idea, just to make my puddin’ happy. I forgot all about my loyalties to Batman.

“Could you? Why Harley, you’re such a lovely assistant.” He patted my head. I squealed in happiness.

“If you can find me a nuclear scientist within one week, you shall be rewarded Harley.” He winked at me.

I saluted, “I won’t fail you this time Mr. J! I promise!” It was a vow I intended to keep.

The next day, I was back at the Manor, but I lied to Mr. Alfred and Batman saying that Mr. J was gone somewhere and that I couldn’t track him since I had none of my old devices. What I did figure out on the way back was I needed to get Mr. J an undercover nuke scientist. The only person who would have the best access was in the palm of my hand.

When I undressed out of costume and in some jeans and a white t-shirt, I went to Mr. Alfred. He was in his study, reading some ancient American classic. I tapped my knuckles on the door.

“Mr. Alfred, can I come in?”

“Of course, Miss Harleen.” He put his book down and gestured me to sit.

“No it’s ok, I don’t have much time, I need access to a computer. To a database in particular.”

“Which database?”

“All of the governmental scientists of Gotham. There are lots here and I need to warn them of Mr. J’s plan with the man-made superheroes. They need to know if something goes wrong, ya know?”

“Excellent idea, follow me.”

He took me down to a long hallway until we came to a door. A plain wood door, nothing special, but it was rather, well, tiny.

“Um, ya sure this is the right room?” I pointed.

“Yes, follow me.” He opened the door and it was a broom closet.

“Don’t mean to be a booger, but these aren’t computers.”

“Of course they are.” And he fuddled around with them, picking one up that had old bristles on it and tapped the wall. In an instant, we were moving downward.

“What the-?” I grasped the walls. It was an elevator, and a rickety one at that. Once we got to the bottom after it seemed like forever, Mr. Alfred tapped the wall again.

The door opened and we were in a massive computer lab. Every technical device you could think of was in my hands. I was very giddy. Mr. Alfred guided me. He took a seat next to the largest computer, and began typing on a large vision projected keyboard. He began typing away and retrieved the database.

“There are over 2,000 undercover scientists in Gotham alone, there are many more, but since we are talking about the Joker here, I highly doubt he will mobilize since he wants to keep Batman at bay.”

“You’ve been through this before haven’t ya?” I said, still gazing at the fast-paced screen.

“Believe me, Miss Harleen, you would be amazed.” he smirked.

“So, how do we notify them?” I asked.

“Simple, we will speak to the Chief of the Gotham Ground Laboratories.” He punched in a name: Dr. Gwen Lithingham. Instantly a screen with a lady’s face popped up. She had dark glasses, a white lab coat and her hair in a tight black bun.

“This is Dr. Lithingham speaking.”

“Dr. Lithingham, this is Mr. Alfred from Wayne Manor. Pleasure to be speaking to you.”
“As always Mr. Alfred. How may I assist you?”

“Batman is working on a highly classified mission to halt a plan of altering the functioning of man-made superheroes. I’m sure you’re aware of the controversy surrounding the Pentagon at this time?”

“Yes, it is quite devastating. We were looking forward to partnering with the government, but now with the plans stolen, we cannot jeopardize the country or look bad to the people. We must remain quiet.”

“Well, we cannot argue ethics here Doctor. We need to warn your entire team here in Gotham just in case the Joker stops by and attempts to influence you to continue this plan. especially if your research has unsupportive conclusions and effective methods of usage.”

“You make an excellent point Mr. Alfred. I will notify the team presently. Oh, and please do tell Batman that we are still undergoing the research.”

“Naturally, Doctor. Godspeed.” And he hung up. “There, now at least they are warned.”
Some instinct of mine told me that she was fooling Mr. Alfred. I could hear her disappointment at this phone call. She was thirsty for a scientific experiment, not to mention to do something. Thanks to Mr. Alfred’s genius idea of showing me around the database, I decided to give her an offer she couldn’t refuse.

But then, I heard Batman’s voice in my head again, “Don’t disappoint me Harley,” he whispered sternly. I felt guilty, but I had to do this. Mr. J was counting on me...