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Hamdoggz β SCP-504
Published: 2012-06-21 16:05:48 +0000 UTC; Views: 8989; Favourites: 96; Downloads: 114
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Description
SCP-504 "Critical Tomatoes"Link to the site's document:
[link]
Read the document it's hilarious !
A little drawing of an idea I had last night...
Some very humourless tomatoes !
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Comments: 76
I wouldn't have thought something could be so hilarious and so tragic at the same time, but here we are.
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Ok, this is i said to some Tomatos "Why is Black and White and Red all over? Because mines having chainsaw fight!" Pika-chu *drum joke plays*
Everyone?
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Unattended instance of 504,Β sitting in aΒ trash binΒ Β 2,003 feetΒ away,Β fly's at Dr. Pika-chu's microphone clocked at [data expunged], decimating it, and then proceeds to continue into the conjoining Amp (flight path uninterrupted).Β Upon reaching theΒ audible source of theΒ offending sound,Β it first lodges itself into the speaker and soon after explodes; tomato debris and seeds launched in all directions at 100 miles per hour. No casualties reported; owner of cubicle's trash binΒ demoted to D-class; Saturday's weekly open mic-night canceled till further notice. Dr. Pika-chu awarded medal of bravery for risking personal safety to ensure proper containment of possibly dangerous scp's: all instances of 504 moved from site [data expunged] (aka the green house), and moved to newly made,Β sound proofed nursery located at site [data expunged]. Dr. Pika-chu's closest friends and on site staff proceedes to "never letting him live this down,"Β in the for see ableΒ future.
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"Those tomato slices are like fucking shuriken" I lost it right there
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Pig: LOL, What's black and white and makes a lot of noise? A zebra with a drumkit.
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Jeff: ok, here it goes, "two pirates, jews, and dino and pigs walks up to the bar and Hitler says, "what is this a jokes???"
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if you had read the scp incident report, you would see no reaction. given that one of the tests resulted in zero change in velocity (did not move).
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You know that question is 2 years old right?
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NOPE. lol... I should probably pay more attention to what I'm reading.
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You should.
I think I was making a joke back then.
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Omfg I loled so hard reading about this one, easily the best
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I know right !
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I wonder what would happen if they put a radio in the other side of 682 and fired away at him, death by horrible jokes
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SCP-1162 test results are also quite hilarious
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Spoken: "So, I was going to bed, and my brother told me, 'Goodnight! Don't let the bedbugs stick their proboscis in your skin and suck your blood!'" *pause* "Good luck on a healthy dermis!"
Result: Two-second pause before activity. Tomato clocked at [REDACTED]. Sound barrier broken. Subject killed.
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Heh, damn tomatoes need to lighten up aye ?
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Hmm... this sounds like something from The Muppets.
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This has to be one of the funnier scps. Amirite? *crickets*
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At least until you make a particularly bad joke and the tomato breaks the sound barrier. It has happened.
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how many country singers does it take to change a lightbulb?
two, one to replace it and one to sing about the old one.
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Result: Tomato moves at 102 mph. Glancing blow left subject stunned for several seconds.
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Notes: The hell? I thought it was funny at least. - [REDACTED]
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[It should be noted that humor is subjective, and the tomato will hit what it wants to hit.]
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hence the operative word "I"
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I see. Understood. I guess that clears up the MISS-understanding.
[The tomato clocks in at Mach 7. It bursts through the wall after vaporizing the offending joker, before soaring through the sky like a missile. Amnesiacs will need to be administered en-masse, as flying tomatoes are quite memorable otherwise]
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Note: How in the hell did that happen? We weren't even near it. - [REDACTED]
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Note: The power of hatred, sir. The power of hatred against shitty jokes is what caused it. -[REDACTED]
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Alright Bright, we all know it's you. - [REDACTED]
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Dammit! -Dr. Bright
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Looks like he's not very bright. -[REDACTED]
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I'd use an old joke, but that would be awful.-Dr. Bright.
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Tomato hits Dr. [REDACTED] at roughly Mach 2, killing the subject instantly.
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Notes: Dr. Bright laughed, and could not provide an additional comment.
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Permission use Dr. Bright as a test subject have been denied by O5-3.
Notes: Sorry boys, can't let you do that, even if he is a prick.
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must be fun to guard this thing
imagine going up to the new guy at the foundation with a 504 tomato and asking if he knows any jokes?
id do it!
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You know what's coming...
~Attaaack of the Killer Tomatooooes!~
~Attaaack of the Killer Tomatooooes!~
~They'll beat you, bash you,~
~Squish you, mash you~
~Chew you up for brunch~
~And finish you oooff for dinner or lunch!~
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Result: Tomato travels at [REDACTED] instantly killing subject
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EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!! OAO
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Item: One mature SCP-504 tomato
Subject: A Windows portable computer playing a video clip of a video game player character grabbing 1-ups.
Transcript: "What are you doing?" asks the character's friend. "Getting a life." says the player character. "It's an extra life, get it? & 'getting a life' means living like a normal person." says a pre-recorded voice on the computer.
Result: Tomato hits the computer so fast & so hard, it disappears in a cloud of electricity.
Notes: Explaining the joke causes it to tear open space-time around what told the joke & therefore, what the produce pelts? Oh my crap. - Dr. Blast
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Haha nicely done !
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Thanks. I could Imagine 953 (the [EXPLETIVE REDACTED] Korean fox-woman) trying to team up with 682 to level humanity.
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Like 682 would need assistance for such action...
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