Description
My band of soaks, my den of dissolute's
My dirty jokes, my always pissed as newts
My sons of whores spend there lives in my inn,
Homing pigeons homing in
They fly through my doors,
And they crawl out on all fours
Welcome, Monsieur, sit yourself down
And meet the best innkeeper in town
As for the rest, all of them crooks:
Rooking the guests and cooking the books
Seldom do you see
Honest men like me
A gent of good intent
Who's content to be
Master of the house, doling out the charm
Ready with a handshake and an open palm
Tells a saucy tale, makes a little stir
Customers appreciate a bon-viveur
Glad to do me friends a favor
Doesn't cost me to be nice
But nothing gets you nothing
Everything has got a little price!
Master of the house, keeper of the zoo
Ready to relieve 'em of a sou or two
Watering the wine, making up the weight
Pickin' up their knick-knacks when they can't see straight
Everybody loves a landlord
Everybody's bosom friend
I do whatever pleases
Jesus! Won't I bleed 'em in the end!
Master of the house, quick to catch yer eye
Never wants a passerby to pass him by
Servant to the poor, butler to the great
Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong mate!
Everybody's boon companion
Everybody's chaperone
But lock up your valises
Jesus! Don't I bleed 'em in the end!
Food beyond compare. Food beyond belief
Mix it in a mincer and pretend it's beef
Kidney of a horse, liver of a cat
Filling up the sausages with this and that
Residents are more than welcome
Bridal suite is occupied
Reasonable charges
Plus some little extras on the side!
(Oh Santa!)
Charge 'em for the lice, extra for the mice
Two percent for looking in the mirror twice
Here a little slice, there a little cut
Three percent for sleeping with the window shut
When it comes to fixing prices
There are a lot of tricks I knows
How it all increases, all them bits and pieces
Jesus! It's amazing how it grows!
(Oh, sorry love
Let's get something done about that)
I used to dream that I would meet a prince
But God Almighty, have you seen what's happened since?
Master of the house? Isn't worth my spit!
Comforter, philosopher' and lifelong shit!
Cunning little brain, regular Voltaire
Thinks he's quite a lover but there's not much there
What a cruel trick of nature landed me with such a louse
God knows how I've lasted living with this bastard in the house!
Master of the house!
Master and a half!
Comforter, philosopher
Don't make me laugh!
Servant to the poor, butler to the great
Hypocrite and toady and inebriate!
Everybody bless the landlord!
Everybody bless his spouse!
Everybody raise a glass
Raise it up the master's arse
Everybody raise a glass to the Master of the House! ________________________
Name: Master Of The House
Design: sateenkaarisitruuna fav.me/d6qht60
Nick: Thénardier
Gender: actually genderless, but seemed to be a stallion before being trapped in a puppet body
Thénardier is a puppet created by Sally. She trapped his soul into this puppetbody and keeps him in her dollhouse orb. The stallion might seem little compared to all the friesian-built nightmares in the dollhouse, but he can stand up for himself and is mostly responsible for food supply in the house, so messing with him might not be a good idea.
He doesn't remember who he was before and Sally keeps it a secret, allways telling another story (he's her father trapped in the puppet, he's an offspring of Lucy, etc.) but never the truth.
___________________________
Name: 877| Madame Thérnadier
Design: Okami-Haru fav.me/d51qk8l approved design
Previous Owner: AppyNinja (returned to me because of lack of time)
Nick: Mama, Stealing-witch, Miss T
Gender: Mare
Height: 165 cm
Breed: Disturbed-Nightmares
Colour: Sooty Bay
Markings: blue Okapi
Genotyp: ee Ata nSty
Stealing Orb, Mama can 'steal' the power of every other nightmares orb she meets and use it whenever she wants, but it is much weaker than the original. For example Octas spiderweb orb, Mama can also create webs, but they are so weak that you can simply blow them away, while octas is so strong that it can carry someone. They make good decorations though. For every power she 'steals' she gets a ring arround her dreads.
Mama can trick your whole digestive system, like causing someone to only be able to eat vegtables, while they are carnivore and starve, same reverse, or she manipulates the taste, so while eating it suddenly tastes awefull etc.
Storage Orb, she can stuff this orb with everything she wants, which will stay in exact that state as it was before it was put in there (so yes she can keep meat fresh in there etc.).
Liquid: Egg yolk, eatable.
Feathers: Pyrit dust that forms bigger blocks and falls of sometimes, so she leaves a trail of fool's gold
Offspring: none
Madame Thénardier is the big mama of Sallys doll house. She lives there together with the puppet Thénardier and is refered to him as his wife. She's ok with cleaning behind the other nightmares at the doll house, but if she likes something they left, she just takes and keeps it with her orb.