DarkStar016 [2016-08-21 05:31:45 +0000 UTC]
The monster sounds like a yeti xD This piece was pretty short, which was nice, but it could have benefited from a bit more. The plot is pretty straight forward, easy to read and understand which is good; it's not confusing and you have clear characters. The ending is a bit predictable though, with the monster coming out to get her. I really like that the brother and sister saw the same creature and stopped to look at each other for a moment, but I would have liked to see them more scared than whatever about it. Kind of hyped it down for me. I would say, change the ending up a bit, like having the monster move to the parent's room and have the mom wake up to find it watching her or something haha But good job on this. I think every kid had a "monster under the bed." For me, it was the bathroom at night. I thought something would get me haha
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Haunting-Rose In reply to DarkStar016 [2016-09-03 02:55:54 +0000 UTC]
XD yeah, i know i have to work on this one some more, i was trying to think more on that prequel story to try and kick start more strange thingsΒ
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