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HeyThereDelilah20 — Glasses
by-nc-nd
Published: 2013-01-12 18:17:43 +0000 UTC; Views: 224; Favourites: 8; Downloads: 2
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Description
glasses.in them lie a mystery;
no age,
no emotion,
no clues-
just a mystery.
a face.
I cant help but stare at a face;
no distinctions,
no charm,
no scars-
just a beautiful face.
eyes.
embedded there lies a soul;
so pure,
no malice.
so sweet,
no anger-
a soul within hazel eyes.
a heart.
in me i can feel it pounding;
stirring,
waking,
falling-
for hazel eyes behind glasses.
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Comments: 5
The poem creates such a clear visual in my head. It causes me to react as if i were falling in love with that person. I enjoyed reading it so much!
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haha thank you! yes, hes someone wonderful
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I like it. Wonderful structure!
Had to read it a few times... you say you don't like the last line. Only thing I would change is:
for hazel eyes behind glasses.
Feels that "the" is the word out of place to me. Other than that, great work! Keep it up!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thank you so much for the critique, i really appreciate it
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
My pleasure.
I am honored that you accepted my suggestion.
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