Comments: 46
Kirjavaa [2012-03-01 07:45:33 +0000 UTC]
Overall
Vision
Originality
Technique
Impact
First and foremost, there are many aspects of color, line and composition that make this piece enjoyable to look at, but since you mentioned that you are looking to strengthen your sense of composition, I have a few suggestions to offer. As she is right now, the flow of the lines of her hair, the curtains behind her and the manner in which her kimono is billowing all are lines that draw the viewer back to the figure at the center, while encouraging the eye to travel along each of their lines to different points in the piece.
The scythe that she holds is a strong anchor for the eye and gives her a sense of strong movement and direction. The composition regarding this aspect of the piece could have been a bit stronger if we got to see the entirety of the blade in the scene, simply because the curved shape of the blade would be another compositional element that would move the eye from left to right and then back to the hair and face of the figure. You still get a bit of a sense of that as it is, but because the blade goes off the edge of the image, it is not as strong as if it were present in its entirety. On the plus side, the color of the embellishment on the blade is a strong connection to the figure in a similar manner to the way the curtains connect with the color of the kimono.
In a similar vein to the scythe blade, I feel that the composition of this piece would be a bit stronger if the edges of her hair to the right were not going off the edge of the page. While I do get a sense that she is either entering the scene or rushing by, the amount of space remaining to her left throws off the balance of the piece a bit.
None of these things are to say that this isn't a well-drawn and beautifully rendered piece, and I do enjoy your use of colors and the attention to detail (the metal embellishments and jewels, the lace on her garter, the different colored eyes) You already have a great deal of skill in technique, and making small adjustments to composition will no doubt take your work to an even more beautiful level.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Kirjavaa In reply to Hirahime [2012-03-03 04:46:24 +0000 UTC]
You're welcome! I do hope that it helps you continue to achieve greater things with your art in the future.
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Hirahime In reply to DarrylMaples [2012-03-02 21:47:05 +0000 UTC]
Eeeee! I didn't even notice it was missing a shadow! D': Gah, with everything else going on in the picture I completely forgot... ; w ;
Ohh. The reason the leggings are so black is because they're part of the lineart. Because of that they didn't really look right when they were a dark grey... D: But you're definitely right, I shouldn't have done them that way, and I can see how they're off. I underestimated how thick the lace was, and I guess I thought I would be making more of the light fluffy lace rather than the thick lace it is...
Yeah, I guess you're right. D: A scythe is more straight than that....but I kind of liked it curved. xD Thank you very much!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
DarrylMaples In reply to Hirahime [2012-03-03 16:17:22 +0000 UTC]
Also, I just wanted to point out that the things I described are very fixable if you just reopen the picture in your program. (at least the shadows n stuff.) Then just re-upload it and it's fixed ;D
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Hirahime In reply to DarrylMaples [2012-03-05 19:36:34 +0000 UTC]
You have a poinnnt D: I'll see if I can get around to it.
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DarrylMaples In reply to Hirahime [2012-03-03 16:15:18 +0000 UTC]
No problem! I think it was fantastic anyway, just thought i'd bring those things to attention. I kinda try to do QA for my fiancee kijonaia too, but she always gets mad at me. T_T
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Hirahime In reply to DarrylMaples [2012-03-05 19:36:05 +0000 UTC]
LOL. Thank you <3 A QA? Awwww why does she get mad at you? I love critique c:
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DarrylMaples In reply to Hirahime [2012-03-05 21:02:35 +0000 UTC]
Quality Assurance. She gets mad because I nag her about details lol.
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Hirahime In reply to DarrylMaples [2012-03-07 17:21:22 +0000 UTC]
LOL! oh I know how she feels xD I hate when someone watches me draw and makes me change details...
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DarrylMaples In reply to Hirahime [2012-03-10 22:08:04 +0000 UTC]
It's not like I MAKE her change things, she hardly ever even does, I just kinda....idk...let her know when she's getting lazy, and if one of the things she draws in the pic isn't of the same quality as the rest, so that one piece of laziness doesn't ruin the overall quality of the picture.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Hirahime In reply to DarrylMaples [2012-03-11 22:02:24 +0000 UTC]
LOL. I know, but I can understand. I only take critique well at certain stages of the picture. xD I'm more easygoing with lineless pictures. if It's already been lined and something's off then it's stay that way, because I refuse to re-do part of the lineart because it always looks bad when I do LOL.
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DarrylMaples In reply to Hirahime [2012-03-12 00:10:34 +0000 UTC]
LOL, exactly why I TRY to help her while she's doing it haha, but she's stubborn.
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Hirahime In reply to DarrylMaples [2012-03-12 17:12:13 +0000 UTC]
LOL well yeah I guess we're both just kind of lazy like that xD
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Reckless-Flame [2014-11-23 18:52:45 +0000 UTC]
Gorgeous! I love her outfit and her hair!
You brightened it up just the right amount, in my opinion. It looks really good!
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Hirahime In reply to Reckless-Flame [2014-11-24 17:35:53 +0000 UTC]
ahhh this is so old but thank you!!!
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Mickykitty88 [2012-07-20 01:09:55 +0000 UTC]
I love this picture
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StarMasayume [2012-07-11 17:09:39 +0000 UTC]
Oh very pretty! I think the composition is good. Love her kimono and her hair =3
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kur0s4k1 [2012-03-01 07:55:52 +0000 UTC]
i think you are very good with the colours,but not enought with anathomy & lines,practise!
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Hirahime In reply to kur0s4k1 [2012-03-02 01:26:09 +0000 UTC]
; w ; Yeah anatomy is hard~ Hmm, my lines? do they need to be cleaner?
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kur0s4k1 In reply to Hirahime [2012-03-02 03:31:27 +0000 UTC]
in my opinion,too many cleans.I think...this need to preserve some of the original lines of the skecth
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Hirahime In reply to kur0s4k1 [2012-03-02 03:35:32 +0000 UTC]
Ohhh yeah! But the only way I know how to do that would be to do lineless coloring...which is harder to clean up :< or make messier lineart but I automatically make lineart clean xD
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kur0s4k1 In reply to Hirahime [2012-03-02 03:38:37 +0000 UTC]
yo're right,is difficult! so,great job! i hope u become a greater ilustrator!
bye
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LibraGrey [2012-03-01 01:15:05 +0000 UTC]
FFFFFFF.
STOP BLOWING MY MIND.
I love that staff. Love it love it love it~
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Hirahime In reply to LibraGrey [2012-03-02 01:25:37 +0000 UTC]
LMFAO! Thank you~~ <3
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careko [2012-03-01 01:02:49 +0000 UTC]
FSDJFHASDJHKJ!!!!!!! OMG!!!! so pretty!!!
thank you for your entry!!!
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Hirahime In reply to careko [2012-03-02 01:21:58 +0000 UTC]
> w < you're welcome!! I'm glad you like it c:
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Phoneix-Faerie [2012-02-29 23:28:41 +0000 UTC]
i think the composition here looks great!
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DarrylMaples [2012-02-29 22:44:03 +0000 UTC]
Great stuff! Fav +watch!
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Hirahime In reply to DarrylMaples [2012-03-02 01:21:37 +0000 UTC]
; w ; Thank you so much~ <3
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Cure-Melody [2012-02-29 17:53:23 +0000 UTC]
I love the hair. It's really pretty. ^^
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thesaphiremoon [2012-02-28 23:33:37 +0000 UTC]
X_X dies of aweshmoe
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thesaphiremoon In reply to Hirahime [2012-02-28 23:53:13 +0000 UTC]
lol aweshome. XD lol i just felt like puting an h in the word
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