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Pairing: SniperxScout

I remember. I remember. I remember.

That's all Sniper can think now. That's the only reason he can deny that Scout is gone. The only proof he has. And yet that proof isn't enough to cut through the terrible silence that fills the fort. The silence that should be filled by someone… and yet is not.

So Sniper leaves the kitchen, breakfast forgotten. And he looks. He listens for that voice, those loud footsteps, anything. He's jogging through the fort, heart racing. He looks in all the places he's ever seen Scout.

Outside of the base, running laps.

No.

The battlements, waiting for Sniper.

Not there, either.

Sniper's own room. Maybe he woke up after Sniper left for breakfast. Maybe he wants to talk.

But he's not there. Not anywhere.

The only place left is Scout's room. Maybe he really is just sleeping. Maybe that's why it's so quiet. The life, the energy, of their team is still unconscious.

His door is open. Sniper walks in. He doesn't call out. Doesn't warn of his presence. Just waits for the yells of protest, of Scout telling him to leave because it's not his room. But there is nothing.

His bed is empty, the sheets folded on top of the mattress. As though it's never been used. As if no one was there. Sniper looks at that empty bed, touches the pillow, hoping that he's just imagining it. But he's not. There's no one else there.

He is alone.

——————————

There is a ceasefire today. It's supposed to be a good thing. Not for Sniper.

There's nothing to keep Sniper distracted. Nothing to keep his mind off of the events that just took place.

The shock.

Why? Why can he still remember him? Why did autobalance not take his memory away?

Maybe whoever made the autobalance system didn't consider programming any memory deletion for someone who's been switched more than once. Maybe he's overthinking it and there was some kind of glitch. Maybe it's something that just can't be explained.

… Maybe Scout still remembers him.

Maybe he doesn't.

That's all he can think about the entire day. Hope. Denial. More hope.

It's just so weird now, sitting on the battlements, nothing but his own breathing to listen to. And when he hears footsteps approaching, he looks up, expecting it to be Scout, but realizes all over again that he's gone.

Gone.

It's Medic, checking up on him. He says hello, to which Sniper grunts. And he just stands there. Watching him. Thinking what to say. He's obviously wondering what happened that morning, but he won't say it out loud.

Eventually he leaves. Sniper doesn't remember what was spoken. If they even spoke.

Nothing happens the rest of the day. In the evening, he doesn't even go to eat. Just shuffles back to his room, falls on his bed, and sleeps.

Tries to sleep.

Gives up.

Stares into darkness.

It's quiet.

——————————

He is woken from his half-slumber by the sirens. The sirens of battle resonating through the base, through the floorboards. Sniper groans under his breath as he stands, realizing only now that he never changed out of his uniform. At least he's ready. He grabs is rifle and puts his kukri on his belt before making his way to the medic bay.

And it begins like every other battle. A rush of energy as the final siren rings, the enthusiastic yells of those who are not threatened by the concept of pain and respawn, the fading of voices as they all go seperate ways.

Sniper heads straight for the battlements, knowing that he'll be able to kill a few of the BLUs before they can even cross the bridge. As expected, he sees one right away. Their Pyro exits through the doorway on the left. He's oblivious.

So as always, Sniper raises his rifle to his eye. As always, he steadies his aim, closing in on his enemy's skull. As always, he waits for an opportune moment.

A flash of blue in the top right of his scope. Getting closer.

On instinct, the bushman brings his sniper up, barely even aiming before firing a shot that rings deafeningly around him. But the sound of the shot is nothing like the dying scream that bursts forth from his victim's throat before his body falls limp, bullet tearing clean through his cranium as his voice becomes nothing but the gurggling of a fresh corpse.

Sniper's senses kick back in after that split second of adrenaline, and what he sees makes him go ashen white.

It's Scout's corpse.

Body lying in an awkward way, the back of his skull blown out, eyes open and almost crossed as if to stare in shock at the bullet hole in the center of his forehead. It's all the Aussie can do to keep from throwing up right on the spot.

But then the body fades away as Scout is taken back to respawn, nothing left but blood to mark his temporary grave.

Before Sniper understands what he's doing, he's in the medic bay, leaning against the wall with one hand as he bends over and dry heaves. He just… he just killed Scout. Killed him. Respawn is working, sure, but what if it wasn't? What if he actually murdered him?

Shit. Battle is supposed to be a release. A place where Sniper can forget his worries and let the rush of war blur any thought besides objective. And that's what he did. As he woke he forgot about Scout. Forgot how he was on the other team. Forgot he was autobalanced.

Forgot about the night of the autobalance.

But now it's the only thing that plagues him. He's never had to kill a friend before… at least, as far as he knows. There were no memories to make him hesitate. No bonds.

Now there is. And Sniper wonders if he could handle that. Having to kill someone he knows. Someone who's a friend.

Someone who's maybe more.

——————————

Time passes, as it always does, and with time comes healing.

Yet there is no healing.

After that first incident of killing Scout, Sniper avoids him. If he sees him approaching, likely with the intent to kill, he flees to the medic bay. He knows that Scout will respawn if he kills him, but he still refuses. He knows it still hurts. He knows there is tremendous pain.

And yes, with the intent to kill. It takes Sniper a few battles to accept that.
That he doesn't remember.

At first he think it's because he does, and he's angry about what happened that night. But it's not. He can see the lack of emotion in his eyes every time he sees him. No anger, no sadness, no guilt… just objective.

He tries to tell himself that it's no use. To let go. Yet he can't.

And then it happens, a month after that first battle. Too soon. Too soon for Sniper.

Sudden Death.

It's a terrible sight when someone's body doesn't dissapear after those few moments of being dead. It means that they don't respawn. That they're dead forever.

So when RED's Soldier doesn't vanish, everyone is panicking, including the BLUs. They scream to anounce Sudden Death, both teams retreating in fear of getting shot. But the battle isn't over. They're just recuperating, getting ready. Planning.

A familiar silence settles over the forts.

It takes a while, but RED decides to strike first. They gather up their courage and leave the base. Most of them do. Heavy, Medic, Pyro and Spy make their way across the bridge, leaving Sniper, Engineer and Demoman as defense. A sentry is set up on the wooden platform over the courtyard, and a minefield ready in the basement thanks to Demo, incase they're able to get through that first obstacle. Sniper is on the battlements, keeping watch.

Gunfire and explosions are heard within the opposing base, so Sniper waits. Listens. It could be any moment that an enemy tries to retreat from their own base, or a Spy attempts to cross the bridge cloaked while making as little sound as possible with each step.

But a while passes. No action besides the battle inside BLUs fort.

A gunshot. Gunshots. Not blended with the others. Under him, on the main floor. Then, Engineer grunting in pain.

Sniper rushes to the left side of the battlements, passing the medic bay and bounding down the steps into the courtyard. When he turns into the front of the main floor, he sees him. Engineer, limping back from the sewer, hand on his stomach as he bleeds through his shirt and pant leg. He's cursing under his breath, struggling to even stand.

"Christ, what happened?" Sniper breathes as he rushes over and wraps a hand around his ally's waist, using the other to bring the man's arm behind his neck, careful not to agitate the bullet wounds. The Texan sighs with relief at the support. They make their way slowly back up the steps, and after a moment Engineer is sitting on the wooden floor next to his dispenser. "Well?"

"S-Scout in our sewer," he chokes out, "Took care of him though. He's bleedin' out somewhere. Should be… dead in a couple minutes."

The world suddenly becomes dark. He can barely contain the horror spreading across his face. His heart is racing. Mouth open, eyes wide behind his aviators. No. Nonono.

"Sniper?" Engineer's voice snaps him back from his moment of panic. "You alright?"

The bushman sets his mouth into a straight line, hiding all evidence of his anxiety.

"Yeah. I just… need to do something. You stay here." Before Engineer can protest, Sniper leaves. Down the steps, through the main floor, towards the sewer.

For a second he thinks he's too late. It's quiet when he steps through the doorway and stands at the top of the stairs. There is no swish of water. No footsteps. No sign of life. Despite himself, he feels tears sting the corner of his eyes…

A whimper.

His breath catches in his throat. He thinks he imagined it… but then there's another sound. Wheezing. Struggling to breathe. He makes his way down the steps onto the platform in the center, and when he turns he sees him.

Scout sitting near the bottom of the steps, just above the water, his back against the wall. There's a pistol in his right hand, his left pressed against his chest. Blood seeps from his mouth. From holes in his arms. Pools beneath him, leaking into the water.

Sniper approaches slowly, but the shuffling of his feet gives him away. Scout's head snaps towards him, pistol following the action. He stops. The BLU tries to look threatening. Angry. Tough. But he's shaking and his eyes are wide. He's afraid.

"Get the fuck away." he hisses, but it comes out muffled, like Sniper's hearing it from a record player. The Aussie raises his hands in defense.

"I'm not gonna hurt you, kid." he whispers back. To make his point, he crouches down slowly, places his rifle and kukri on the ground, stands back up and nudges them so that they slide a few feet away. Scout furrows his brows, confused. He narrows his eyes into slits.

"I'm not stupid," he spits, but Sniper can see his fingers shaking. He frowns.

"Does it matter? You're as good as dead anyway." His own words make bile rise in his throat. He doesn't want to believe it. But Scout seems to consider them. His face slackens slightly, scowl becoming a depressed frown. He knows he's telling the truth.

The moment he lowers his gun, Sniper rushes to him, kneeling down and pulling a rag from his belt. He wipes the blood from his chin and his arms. He feels Scout's baffled eyes watching him, wondering.

"Move your hand," the bushman demands. It takes a second for the boy to process his request. When he does his hand falls limply to his side.

Blood. Lots of blood. It's as though his hand was holding all of it back, because suddenly it's pouring through his shirt, dripping down his torso and seeping through the material in thick rivulets. Sniper panics and presses the rag hard against his chest. Scout tries to say something, but instead he coughs.

A wave of pain makes his body shiver. He whimpers again.

"Don't," Sniper almost sobs, "Just… don't talk."

But he does. One word.

"Why…?"

The RED looks at him then. With that same look back in the courtyard, before he was autobalanced. But that look is mixed with sadness. Pleading. Don't you remember? Anything?

He doesn't. But there is recognition in his eyes. Without words, he knows. Knows that Sniper remembers him. That's all he needs. He's calm. Understanding. Sniper's mouth sets into a thin line.

"Here." The Aussie takes Scout's free hand and places it against the rag still pressed against his chest. "Hold this."

Weakly, he does. Sniper moves around him and picks him up off the ground.

"Wh-" Scout coughs again. Doesn't bother finishing what he was going to say. It hurts too much.

"You need a Medic."

He doesn't go through the sewer. There's no way he can swim through the waterway while carrying Scout. So he climbs back up the stairs, through the front and towards the bridge. He can still hear the sounds of battle in the BLU base. RED isn't backing down. No one is around to see him.

Sniper crosses the bridge quickly, going up the small ramp and into the left entrance of the enemy's fort. But that's as far as he can go. If he goes any further he'll be at risk of getting spotted. As if he isn't already.

He places Scout down gently, leaning his back against the wall. His hand is going slack, almost letting go of the cloth. Eyes half-lidded. Gaze distant. Sniper panics. He pats him on the cheek, using his other hand to hold Scout's against the cloth.

"Come on, mate. Stay with me. You need to stay awake." He pats him harder, almost slapping, urgency in his voice. His eyes open a little wider, hand gaining a little strength. But he still looks distant. Focusing on Sniper seems impossible. "Alright. Just one thing and you'll be okay. Call for the doc."

Scout looks afraid. It hurts to speak, let alone scream. Sniper frowns.

"Come on, kid. You want to die?" Sniper regrets asking that. Maybe he's in so much pain that death seems like the best escape. But Scout's ego wins. And Sniper can just imagine his thoughts.

Dying's for cowards.

He shakes his head and takes a deep breath. And he screams.

"Medic!"

The scream is terrifying. Sniper can feel the raw agony in it. The desperation. And maybe the BLU Medic can feel it too, because Sniper hears footsteps approaching within seconds, accompanied by that familiar accent calling out for the Bostonian. He looks at the Scout one more time, trying to smile a bit, but instead his mouth is set in a thin line.

He leaves.

When he gets back, he feels exhausted. Engineer looks at him suspiciously when he enters the courtyard.

"Where you been?" the mechanic asks. Sniper stops and stares at him. There's anger in the taller man's eyes. Frustration. Engineer raises a brow. You almost killed him, Sniper wants to say, he almost died because of you. But he doesn't. He covers up his anger with something else.
"He got away."

——————————

The night is quiet. RED lost their Soldier, but they managed to kill BLU's Engineer. An eye for an eye. The teams are still even. No autobalance.

So it's a regular night. Some of them are mourning for their lost teammate. Some are already alseep. Sniper?

He sits on the battlements. There is no cigarette in his hand. No alcohol. No gun or rag. He just sits. And stares off. Into the distance. The stars.

He can't sleep. Not after today. Not after what happened to Scout.

The kid almost died. And what if he wasn't there? What if he didn't bring him back to his base? Even so, what if he'd been too late? If Scout's dead because Medic couldn't help him?

That's all he can think about. Because maybe it's better if he's gone. Maybe he can finally let go. Let go of that stupid hope.

And then he's cursing himself for thinking something like that. The process repeats.

He wants to stop thinking. Wants to forget about today. He sighs to himself and lowers his hat over his eyes. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Go to sleep.

"Hey."

Sniper jumps, hat falling from his head as he reaches for the kukri that lay beside him. But when he looks up, he freezes.

It's Scout. He stands a few feet away, arms crossed over his chest. He's not armed.

The Aussie blinks at him, unbelieving. Is he imaging this? Is he asleep and just dreaming? No. He's not. Scout's shirt is blue.

"What do you want?" he whispers, cautious. Scout stares down at him, scowling. But then he sighs and his hands fall to his sides, looking defeated.

"I remember."

Sniper's breath catches in his throat.

"… What?"

"I… I don't know, man! I had this dream and I don't even think it's something that actually happened and anyway you saved my ass and I just figured maybe the dream was real but I'm not sure so I came here to ask but now I think I'm just being stupid." Scout takes in a long breath. "Nevermind, I'm just gonna go." He turns to leave.

"Hold on." Scout stops and turns back. "What was your dream?"

His eyes shift away and his scowl becomes a defiant pout. "Nothing, faggot."

Sniper grins. He knows exactly what it was. He rests his back against the wall and brings his legs up a bit. "Come 'ere, mate," he says, patting the spot just in front of himself. Scout looks disgusted. He rolls his eyes. "Crikey, m'not going to bite you. Just figured you want a place to sit if you're stayin'."

And he lets that 'if' hang in the air. Because Scout doesn't have to stay. It's his choice. But he wants him to stay.

Scout hesitates. But only for a second. He walks over to him and plops himself down between the bushman's legs, leaning his back against his chest. Sniper's body stiffens.

"What? You offered," Scout states. And Sniper chuckles, because it's true. He just wasn't expecting him to accept the offer as quickly as he did.

Maybe this is his way of saying thank you.

For a few minutes they're silent. But it's a pleasant silence. Because it's not just his own breathing that Sniper is listening to. He sighs and lets his head lean forward, nose and mouth grazing Scout's short brown hair.

"S'quiet around here without you." he mutters half-heartedly. Scout scoffs.

"I know." Sniper is taken back a bit. No witty comment? No mocking? That't not like Scout. Maybe… maybe he remembers more than just that night. "Hey…

"You know any constellations?"

Sniper's grin widens. He only knows that word because he told him.

And it doesn't matter that they're on different teams. It's just a label now.

Because they have their memories.

"Why you want to know? Didn't think you'd like that kind of thing." An echo of his own words.

Scout smiles, and finishes that echo.

"Yeah, well… I want to stay awake."