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i still hate
myself
for ever
(ever)
letting
you go.

its a
short
ened
quick
ened
breath
between
the sheets-
every
time,
i
(almost)
call out
your name.

like an itch
that i can't
quite
scratch,
i can't
stop.

you were
my first
real
grown
up love.

you were
the best
thing (person)
i could've
would've
(probably
will)
ever ha(ve)d.

yes,
you hit
ctrl q,
but i
didn't
let you
restart
the
application.

every night
i know it
was needed
it was healing,
important even-
but i feel
so incredibly stupid-

i still hate
myself
for ever
(ever,
ever,
ever,
to infinity)
letting
you go.