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Iath — .... Away I Go
Published: 2006-06-22 23:56:54 +0000 UTC; Views: 52; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 1
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Description Watery eyes,

beneath starry skies.

High hopes,

drugged up on dope.

I stayed with you,

I played with you.

Step into my shoes,

See through my eyes,

it'll make you want to cry.

I'm sorry that I don't want you high.

You don't want to love me,

you always shove me.

Tell me your sorry,

and we'll have a party.

You blame me,

but you will never see.

It was always you,

didn't you put on my shoes?

Guess not,

you still act like a snot.

You think your perfect,

well I smirk at it.

You call this my world,

it's not even close,

sure is better than most.

You want your own,

make a clone

and start your own.

You'll NEVER be alone.

I sit here

waiting by the phone

waiting for your call,

so we can have a ball.

We were going to have fun,

BBQ and pool all in one but,

you had to go and let us be done.
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Comments: 8

aht-namas [2006-06-23 02:12:32 +0000 UTC]

oh no max...im so sorry.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Iath In reply to aht-namas [2006-06-24 19:42:39 +0000 UTC]

me to but what sucks is......

the whole thing was a miss understanding.........

I went to talk to him about it because he wouldn't be a man and just
TALK TO ME instead he had rather been a dick...... we got it figured
out and we both said out sorry's. Everything (I hope) is ok now

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Cana-chan [2006-06-23 00:02:21 +0000 UTC]

The rhyme scheme is great, and some of the imagery and unique use of cliche terms ("didn't you put on my shoe?")

I do have to give some advice though- spellcheck. I know it's tedious and boring, but it can make or break a piece of writing.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Iath In reply to Cana-chan [2006-06-24 19:47:32 +0000 UTC]

lol

I know when I write when I'm emotional I uh.... forget how to spell and I look like
a freakin retard HAHAHAHAHAHA and yeah I do need to quit being LAZY when it
comes to stuff like that...

not to mention... I'm just bad at spelling HAHA

thanks for the advice
I did appreciate it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Cana-chan In reply to Iath [2006-06-25 05:10:36 +0000 UTC]

It really was an overall good poem.

I cheat. I usually just copy and paste it from a word program if I want to make sure the spelling is ok

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Iath In reply to Cana-chan [2006-06-25 19:14:10 +0000 UTC]

yeeaaaahhh...... I have been doing that with the poems that I have already written and
I want to put them on here.... HAHAHAHAHAHA other wise I feel stupid cause people
tell me that I spelled something wrong..... it makes me mad and imbarrsed at the same
time..... I dont' like to feel like that so I cheat to

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Cana-chan In reply to Iath [2006-06-27 14:46:30 +0000 UTC]

Don't be embarrassed! Everyone makes mistakes. (I just realized a while back that I spelled something wrong on my DA ID and it's been up for months. )

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Iath In reply to Cana-chan [2006-06-28 00:03:55 +0000 UTC]

HAHAHAHA

WELL SHIT!

Well know I don't feel so bad

THANKS

👍: 0 ⏩: 0