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indui — Stay
Published: 2014-02-14 04:22:10 +0000 UTC; Views: 6757; Favourites: 275; Downloads: 324
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EDIT DEC 2014: WOW SO APPARENTLY THIS WAS USED as a youtube image background, and it's getting tons of views and downloads whoa. I kinda don't want to do this, but I'm adding a watermark because it's getting slightly out of control and this piece is really personal to me, and it feels a little strange to have it be circulating way more than my usual art.~ ~
Well, I said this in a previous thing and then deleted it, but basically I found out last Thursday a friend of mine committed suicide. He jumped of the 7-story dorm roof at 3am and to the parking lot, and ever since then it's been hard to stop thinking about it. Not just the place, but him as a person. And wondering why and how long he was thinking about doing it, even though he always seemed so fucking happy. He was such a sweet dork. I really really miss him.
I don't think he had any idea the impact he had on my life and many others, and it makes me so angry and sad and ahg idk a million things ):> I keep thinking back on all the random times we talked and stuff and I keep thinking if there's anything I could've done. I wish I knew how he felt.
If any of you guys just need someone to talk to, I'm ALWAYS here to listen. I know I'm not a therapist or anything but I will listen to everything and anything, just send a note or comment or even a freaking letter if that suits you. I promise you have no idea how loved you are and how much you effect people's lives, and how much you WILL.
But anyway, here's a pic, and it's orange in honor of the orange ribbon. I wish I could've made something better but I've been a little short on time and stuff lately. D:
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Comments: 32
ohhh man carly I am so sorry, I can't even imagine 
I think it's super important for you to remember none of it is your fault! I have no idea what he was going through, but if you were just being your good ol' self as you always are, you shouldn't think that in any way it was because of you. Also yeah I can totally see that you're angry and sad about it, I don't know who would, but don't be angry at yourself for not recognizing it. What happened is super super awful and it's so sad that he wasn't able to see the all the good that he brought into the world. But this is a beautiful tribute! And YAY its always good to talk though problems! I'm always here if YOU need someone to talk to!
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I almost commented without reading your words...... So glad I didn't. I'm......really sorry? I don't really know what to say except this painting is a beautiful dedication to both your friend and your feelings. The loneliness and the pathos of it is overwhelming if you know the story behind it, yet the brightness of it is full of hope and beauty. Life goes one whether we like it or not, and those we love and lose remain behind, held only in our memories. I wish you well.
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no no don't worry about it <3 thank you so much for your comment, I appreciate it 
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This is a beautiful work of art, indi<3
I can only offer my sympathy, both to you, and your friend's family and acquaintances... I think the best thing you can do is remain aware... and again I'm so sorry this happened. Hopefully his story, and your own, will be able to impact others going through the same... and provoke them to making the right choice. ;n; Keep being strong indi, I'll keep you in my prayers<3
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daww thanks bud ;;
yeah that's a good thing to remember. And I think that's the biggest thing this whole event's taught me. just being more careful and more aware of people. Thanks so much for your comments, they're always so kind hng;;
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Thing with depression is that it closes off any relevance of other people's feelings by convincing the person no one gives a shit anyway. This leads to a clouded, lonely state of mind one cannot easily leave. Phrases like "It's going to be ok", "You can talk to me anytime!" or "People still love you!" lose meaning as they fade into the nothingness, and you're left with the empty hole of nothingness you can't do anything about. You stop living, and begin just merely existing. Hoping to get better whilst maintaining the mascarade of normality.
Some manage to see the spark in the darkness and chase it, others... well, the darkness swallows them.
What I'm trying to say is, although I didn't know him, I think that his suicide was most likely a climax of a long series of events which pushed him over the line.
I'm sorry that you're going through what you're going through right now (and I will not lie by saying that I can imagine how you feel), but I feel compelled to ask: What's the significance of the orange ribbon?
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No, I know. Which is why I think it's worth the extra push to say "I'm here if you need to talk" or "What's bothering you" or whatever. It's better than not saying it at all. Honestly for me, I never talked when anyone asked me "What's wrong" or "You wanna talk" but just the fact that people were willing to listen IF I wanted to made me feel a little better. Even just a little bit. I know that's not the case for everyone but idk like I said, I'm not a therapist so ehh... Just I like the idea of maybe I helped someone a tiny bit instead of making things worse.
As for the orange ribbon, it's a self-injury awareness (I didn't know about it until the RAs brought it up O: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-inj… )
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I have to agree. Any positive attention is better than leaving people to themselves, which I imagine would probably further the feeling of abandonment.
I probably could've used someone with that attitude few years ago. Sometimes all it takes to reignite the spark in people is one honest person.
Regarding Ribbons: Didn't know about that. Cheers for the link :thuimbsup:
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It's ok to feel whatever you're feeling, let it out and know it wasn't your fault..
The drawing is beautiful~
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gah well thank you;; oh jeez I just feel kinda bad that I've been dumping all these random personal life things on my dA. Sorry for the overload lol
i appreciate your comment a lot, tho, thank youuu ;;
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It's good to share thoughts and feelings, makes it easier to handle life so no worries
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yeah that's true.. thanks a lot again c:
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I have had friends dealing with depression, and I always hope I can do something to help. I know it's easy to blame yourself, but remember that it was their choice, and you were always their friend.
The colour scheme is beautiful in this picture, and the honour you give your friend is wonderful. /hugs you.
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Thanks a lot for your comment ;; yeah, it'll be hard for a while but things will get better!
Thank you again <3
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You're welcome, and I understand.
It will get better!
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*plops down* SURE. why not |3
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Mmmm always nice to look at ur art ~W~ .... including last one
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This is such a beautiful artwork for such a sad reason. I'm so sorry for your loss
Anyway, beautiful art
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Well thank you 
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oh my gosh I am soo sorry about your friend! This hit's me on a personal level... I this actually bring my eyes to water. Great work, I am really sorry about your lost..
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it is really sad ;; I'm sorry for however it's effected you
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Hey don't apologize it's just i have been a person under depression myself it's ok 
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my condolences for your loss, that is awfully sad :c
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aw, thanks;; better condolences for the family, though. I didn't even know him that well.
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of course ono its still rather impacting losing anyone, even mildly significant in your life...
--beautiful piece of art, by the way! almost forgot to mention qvq
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