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Description
You criticize me for lying to myself, but have you ever asked why? It's tough right now and you know that. You tell me to be honest and rid myself of my fake smile. But I am afraid. I'm afraid that if I don't lie to myself that life is better, I won't wake up someday. I'm afraid that the people that I speak to will suddenly hear silence. I'm a coward. I'm afraid of what could happen once I become honest. Since you want me to be honest so badly, I'll cautiously take small steps. For now, let me lie so I don't disappear. I call it surviving.

Description
You criticize me for lying to myself, but have you ever asked why? It's tough right now and you know that. You tell me to be honest and rid myself of my fake smile. But I am afraid. I'm afraid that if I don't lie to myself that life is better, I won't wake up someday. I'm afraid that the people that I speak to will suddenly hear silence. I'm a coward. I'm afraid of what could happen once I become honest. Since you want me to be honest so badly, I'll cautiously take small steps. For now, let me lie so I don't disappear. I call it surviving.