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“So did he tell you yet?!”

Renji blinked at the bright stuffed animal and groaned. Kon had jumped on his head and bent over, his face only centimeters away from Renji's as he shouted.

“What do you want Kon? I'm not in the mood...”

Renji shifted into a more comfortable sitting position while glaring at the strange animal. Kon's brows (did he even have any of those?) furrowed and he wrinkled his nose at Renji.

“I told you already! Now answer my question! Did he or did he not?”

Renji blinked at the stuffed animal before allowing a bewildered look to spread across his face. “Did he do what...?”

Kon sighed and then huffed, crossing his plushie arms and jumping off of Renji's head only to land in front of him. He growled before sitting cross-legged on the shinigami's lap and continuing.

“Did he tell you he likes you?”

Renji felt a blush spread across his face. “What are you talking about?”

Kon smirked and stood up, striking Renji's now red nose. “Geez! You don't listen do you? He likes you. Ichigo likes you.”

Renji almost felt his heart leap out of his chest. Ichigo liked him? Sense when? But, wait. This was Kon he was hearing it from. The plushie bastard could just be pulling his leg. In fact, he was sure the plushie bastard was pulling his leg.

“Yeah, right. Shut up Kon.” Renji pushed the odd stuffed animal away and leaned back onto the pillows.

“But its true!” Kon pouted, standing back up.

Renji ran a hand through his hair and growled. “Oh yeah? How so?”

Kon's frown was replaced with a smirk as he put a hand (did he even have hands?) to his chin and rubbed it mischievously. “Oh, just the fact he always seems to be saying... er... moaning your name in the shower. At night too! He's awfully loud. Maybe I should record it for you some time?”

“SHUT UP!”

Renji picked up Kon and tossed him across the room with a powerful thrust. There was a crack when Kon made contact with the door and a yelp of pain from the abused plushie.

“OW! What was that for?! I was just joking!”

Renji ignored the plushie's cries of pain and complaints. He put his hand to his chest and felt his heart beat loudly in his chest. A blush crept up his nose and soon his who face was red.

His mind was filled with images. Dirty, exotic images involving the object of his affection and images that he really didn't care to discuss. That damn plush bastard got to him. Really got to him. He curled his knees to his chest and tried to shoo the painfully arousing thoughts.

Damn it, Damn it, Damn it! I did NOT just think that! I may like Ichigo but thats just pushing it!!

Renji rest his head on his knees and sighed. He remained that way for a while as Kon bickered and complained.

That bastard is just lieing. Like Ichigo could ever feel that way about me.

Renji sighed and buried his head in his knees, counting the minutes till Ichigo came back.

-/-/-/-

A loud and fast rap on the door shocked Renji awake. He found he had fallen asleep, sitting with his knees to his chest. Quickly he lifted his head to see Ichigo pushing the door open while smiling at him.

“Hey. Did you fall asleep again?”

Renji nodded and rubbed his eyes. It was odd for Ichigo to be smiling at him but the boy's tone was soft and kind, surprising Renji. He wasn't scowling or scoffing or mocking him or anything. He was just... smiling.

“What's with you?” Renji asked, blinking at Ichigo as the boy put a plate of food on a pillow in front of him. Ichigo looked at him for a moment, his ears perking before he smiled again and sat down in the chair next to the bed.

“I don't know what you're talking about.”

“Well, your smiling for one thing. And what's with that tone? You act like you like me or something.”

Ichigo was silent for a moment before looking over at Renji and frowning. “What? We're not friends?”

Renji shrugged back and glanced at Ichigo in disbelief. Okay, something is wrong here. Sure we're friends but Ichigo would never admit that. Specially not to me. Maybe Kon put him up to this or...

“Hello? Earth to Renji?”

“Huh? Oh!” Renji shook his head and forced himself to concentrate on where he was. “Sorry, just, strange hearing you say that.”

Ichigo gave him a side ways glance for a moment before shrugging and taking a bite of his food. Renji looked down at the plate and grimaced. Curry and rice. Great. Renji hatted spicy food.

Ichigo looked back over at Renji after several bites and noticed he wasn't eating.

“What? You ain't hungry?”

Renji grimaced and shook his head. “No. It's not that, I just... don't like spicy food.”

Ichigo blinked at him for a moment before bursting into laughter, making Renji jump a little at the sudden noise. “Hey! What the hell is so funny about that?!”

Ichigo smothered his laughter with his hand but couldn't keep the smile off of his face. “No! No! It's just, you look so cu-” Ichigo caught himself and search for a different word to describe this situation. “You just look so childish and it's... funny.”

Renji blinked at Ichigo for a moment but that dumbfound strange look was replaced by a smile and a groan. Ichigo chuckled before opening his mouth and speaking. “Listen, just eat the rice half and I'll eat the Curry. Then I can give you the Rice out of my bowl so neither of us go hungry.”

Renji nodded. “Yeah. Thanks.”

-/-/-/-

Their meal together was anything but silent. They talked and laughed between bites, occasionally chocking and requiring the other's assistance to dislodge the clump of rice or meat. It felt good. Being next to Ichigo like this made Renji's heart beat faster. Just the sound of Ichigo's voice warmed Renji's heart. And although it felt incredibly good it was still incredibly bad. Renji knew getting closer to Ichigo, understanding Ichigo, would only make it harder in the end. But for the moment, he didn't care. He just focused on what Ichigo had to say and responded in turn.

But eventually, their meal had to come to an end. Renji set the bowl down next to him on the bed side table and sighed. “Phew! That was great! Your sis is a real good cook.”

Ichigo smiled back at him and set his own bowl aside. “Thanks. I'll be sure to tell her that.”

Renji yawned and stretched his arms. “Geez! I can't believe I'm so tired! I mean, I slept for like two days.”

Ichigo nodded and a scowl soon replaced his pleasant features. “Hey, don't think you're sleeping in my bed again! I'm tired of sleeping on that damn futon! Your turn to sleep on the floor!”

Ichigo kicked Renji's side lightly and nudged him playfully until the shinigami grumbled and stood. Renji felt his legs wobble a bit and ache but moved them around and soon worked out the kinks. He looked down at himself and noticed his lack of cloths. He was in nothing but his boxers and the bandages that surrounded his chest and stomach. He felt a faint blush cross his face before a tap on the shoulder snapped him out of his embarrassed state.

“Here.” Ichigo held out what looked like Renji's cloths, folded and neat in Ichigo's hands. Renji smiled and took them, fighting down the growing blush. “Thanks.”

Renji dressed with Ichigo watching all the while, adding to his growing blush. Suddenly, a thought occurred to Renji.

I didn't tell Ichigo yet... I mean, I was going to but now...

Renji thought about how much fun he had had with Ichigo, how they had laughed together, talked together, ate together. I reminded him of what good friends they were. Yes. What good friends. That tugged at Renji's heart strings. No matter what Renji felt for Ichigo, they were friends above all else. If he told Ichigo then it was sure to ruin their friendship.

Renji turned to Ichigo, his face now more serious than ever. “Ichigo...” Ichigo shrugged back at the sudden seriousness in Renji's tone. He opened his mouth to respond but his throat was dry and it was all he could do to whimper a small 'yes'. Renji sighed and put a hand on Ichigo's shoulder.

I don't want to lose something so important over something so stupid. If keeping it from him means keeping him happy, then I'm okay with this...

“About what I said earlier... it...” Renji closed his eyes and breathed deeply. “It's nothing. Please, just forget about it.”

Renji opened his eyes and let a small gasp escape his lips. Ichigo looked up at him, his eyes shimmering and narrowed. His face was saddened, his mouth in a frown and his eyebrows furrowed. It was much unlike the response Renji expected. He thought Ichigo would give his usual scoff or muter a 'whatever' and leave it at that but now Ichigo seemed... sad... almost disappointed.

“Ichigo... Why are you-mmph!”

Renji was cut off by a pair of arms wrapped around his body and set of soft lips on his own. He stumbled back a few steps before steadying himself and realizing what was happening. Ichigo was kissing him. Ichigo was kissing him. Renji didn't get kiss back or respond. He was too shocked. Too many things shot through his mind at once, the most clear one being the thought of this being a dream. It must be a dream.

Ichigo pulled away after what felt like forever and buried his face into Renji's chest, never relinquishing his hold. “I love you.” Renji looked down at Ichigo dumbfound and put a finger to his lips. Ichigo looked up at him, tears in his brown eyes as they locked with Renji's red ones. All Renji could do was mouth Ichigo's name.

“I love you, Renji! And... I know you feel the same way! You were going to tell me! You were going to tell me, weren't you?”

Renji didn't respond. He griped Ichigo's arms and held him like that for a moment, their eyes locking, before pushing him back gently. “I'm sorry, Ichigo. I... can't say I feel the same way.” No! What am I doing?!

Ichigo's eyes widened for a moment before twisting in anger. “What are you talking about?! You do! I know you do! I... I was awake... that one time when you almost kissed me, I was awake!”

Renji shrugged back and suppressed a growl deep in his throat. Damn! “That was nothing! It was just...I mean... It doesn't mean anything!”

Ichigo growled and gripped Renji's arms, forcing him back against the nightstand. “Yes it did! Why are you doing this?! I love you, Renji! I know you feel the same way! Please! Please tell me how you feel! How you really feel!”

This time, Renji didn't suppress his growl and shoved Ichigo off of him. “I already told you! I don't love you! Were just friends, alright?!”

Renji almost felt his heart break as a tear tumbled down Ichigo's cheek. He almost reached up to wipe it away but remembered his place and immediately put his hand back down. He clenched his eyes shut and fought with himself.

Just tell him you love him! Why are you doing this to yourself?!

Renji didn't know where the voice came from but it seemed to tug at the back of his mind, torturing him.

No! Things are better this way! I may love Ichigo but it just wouldn't be good! For ether of us!

Renji's thoughts were cut off by the feel of soft lips on his. His eyes shot open and immediately realized Ichigo had kissed him again. He felt the warmth seep in through his lips, the feel of Ichigo's hands caressing his chest... He leaned in for a moment, about to kiss him back, ready to hold him when...

Renji pushed Ichigo away and spat on the ground. “Stop doing that! I already told you! I don't feel the same way!”

“Then what was that?! You kissed back for a moment! You almost held me! You do feel the same way! Please, Renji! I love you!”

“Well I DON'T love you!”

Renji looked into Ichigo's eyes and noticed all the conflicting emotions that reflected in them. Ichigo blinked and another tear was shed. Renji just stood and watched as Ichigo cried tears of frustration, sorrow, rejection...

“I'm... I'm sorry...” Renji muttered. “I have... I have to go!”

Renji pushed past Ichigo, jolting out of the door and practically leaping down the stairs. He could hear Ichigo's muffled cries and pleas for him not to go, screaming his name in desperation. Renji touched his cheek and noticed it was wet. He swiped at the tears with the back of his hand as he opened the front door and bolted out into the red of the fading sun.

Description
“So did he tell you yet?!”

Renji blinked at the bright stuffed animal and groaned. Kon had jumped on his head and bent over, his face only centimeters away from Renji's as he shouted.

“What do you want Kon? I'm not in the mood...”

Renji shifted into a more comfortable sitting position while glaring at the strange animal. Kon's brows (did he even have any of those?) furrowed and he wrinkled his nose at Renji.

“I told you already! Now answer my question! Did he or did he not?”

Renji blinked at the stuffed animal before allowing a bewildered look to spread across his face. “Did he do what...?”

Kon sighed and then huffed, crossing his plushie arms and jumping off of Renji's head only to land in front of him. He growled before sitting cross-legged on the shinigami's lap and continuing.

“Did he tell you he likes you?”

Renji felt a blush spread across his face. “What are you talking about?”

Kon smirked and stood up, striking Renji's now red nose. “Geez! You don't listen do you? He likes you. Ichigo likes you.”

Renji almost felt his heart leap out of his chest. Ichigo liked him? Sense when? But, wait. This was Kon he was hearing it from. The plushie bastard could just be pulling his leg. In fact, he was sure the plushie bastard was pulling his leg.

“Yeah, right. Shut up Kon.” Renji pushed the odd stuffed animal away and leaned back onto the pillows.

“But its true!” Kon pouted, standing back up.

Renji ran a hand through his hair and growled. “Oh yeah? How so?”

Kon's frown was replaced with a smirk as he put a hand (did he even have hands?) to his chin and rubbed it mischievously. “Oh, just the fact he always seems to be saying... er... moaning your name in the shower. At night too! He's awfully loud. Maybe I should record it for you some time?”

“SHUT UP!”

Renji picked up Kon and tossed him across the room with a powerful thrust. There was a crack when Kon made contact with the door and a yelp of pain from the abused plushie.

“OW! What was that for?! I was just joking!”

Renji ignored the plushie's cries of pain and complaints. He put his hand to his chest and felt his heart beat loudly in his chest. A blush crept up his nose and soon his who face was red.

His mind was filled with images. Dirty, exotic images involving the object of his affection and images that he really didn't care to discuss. That damn plush bastard got to him. Really got to him. He curled his knees to his chest and tried to shoo the painfully arousing thoughts.

Damn it, Damn it, Damn it! I did NOT just think that! I may like Ichigo but thats just pushing it!!

Renji rest his head on his knees and sighed. He remained that way for a while as Kon bickered and complained.

That bastard is just lieing. Like Ichigo could ever feel that way about me.

Renji sighed and buried his head in his knees, counting the minutes till Ichigo came back.

-/-/-/-

A loud and fast rap on the door shocked Renji awake. He found he had fallen asleep, sitting with his knees to his chest. Quickly he lifted his head to see Ichigo pushing the door open while smiling at him.

“Hey. Did you fall asleep again?”

Renji nodded and rubbed his eyes. It was odd for Ichigo to be smiling at him but the boy's tone was soft and kind, surprising Renji. He wasn't scowling or scoffing or mocking him or anything. He was just... smiling.

“What's with you?” Renji asked, blinking at Ichigo as the boy put a plate of food on a pillow in front of him. Ichigo looked at him for a moment, his ears perking before he smiled again and sat down in the chair next to the bed.

“I don't know what you're talking about.”

“Well, your smiling for one thing. And what's with that tone? You act like you like me or something.”

Ichigo was silent for a moment before looking over at Renji and frowning. “What? We're not friends?”

Renji shrugged back and glanced at Ichigo in disbelief. Okay, something is wrong here. Sure we're friends but Ichigo would never admit that. Specially not to me. Maybe Kon put him up to this or...

“Hello? Earth to Renji?”

“Huh? Oh!” Renji shook his head and forced himself to concentrate on where he was. “Sorry, just, strange hearing you say that.”

Ichigo gave him a side ways glance for a moment before shrugging and taking a bite of his food. Renji looked down at the plate and grimaced. Curry and rice. Great. Renji hatted spicy food.

Ichigo looked back over at Renji after several bites and noticed he wasn't eating.

“What? You ain't hungry?”

Renji grimaced and shook his head. “No. It's not that, I just... don't like spicy food.”

Ichigo blinked at him for a moment before bursting into laughter, making Renji jump a little at the sudden noise. “Hey! What the hell is so funny about that?!”

Ichigo smothered his laughter with his hand but couldn't keep the smile off of his face. “No! No! It's just, you look so cu-” Ichigo caught himself and search for a different word to describe this situation. “You just look so childish and it's... funny.”

Renji blinked at Ichigo for a moment but that dumbfound strange look was replaced by a smile and a groan. Ichigo chuckled before opening his mouth and speaking. “Listen, just eat the rice half and I'll eat the Curry. Then I can give you the Rice out of my bowl so neither of us go hungry.”

Renji nodded. “Yeah. Thanks.”

-/-/-/-

Their meal together was anything but silent. They talked and laughed between bites, occasionally chocking and requiring the other's assistance to dislodge the clump of rice or meat. It felt good. Being next to Ichigo like this made Renji's heart beat faster. Just the sound of Ichigo's voice warmed Renji's heart. And although it felt incredibly good it was still incredibly bad. Renji knew getting closer to Ichigo, understanding Ichigo, would only make it harder in the end. But for the moment, he didn't care. He just focused on what Ichigo had to say and responded in turn.

But eventually, their meal had to come to an end. Renji set the bowl down next to him on the bed side table and sighed. “Phew! That was great! Your sis is a real good cook.”

Ichigo smiled back at him and set his own bowl aside. “Thanks. I'll be sure to tell her that.”

Renji yawned and stretched his arms. “Geez! I can't believe I'm so tired! I mean, I slept for like two days.”

Ichigo nodded and a scowl soon replaced his pleasant features. “Hey, don't think you're sleeping in my bed again! I'm tired of sleeping on that damn futon! Your turn to sleep on the floor!”

Ichigo kicked Renji's side lightly and nudged him playfully until the shinigami grumbled and stood. Renji felt his legs wobble a bit and ache but moved them around and soon worked out the kinks. He looked down at himself and noticed his lack of cloths. He was in nothing but his boxers and the bandages that surrounded his chest and stomach. He felt a faint blush cross his face before a tap on the shoulder snapped him out of his embarrassed state.

“Here.” Ichigo held out what looked like Renji's cloths, folded and neat in Ichigo's hands. Renji smiled and took them, fighting down the growing blush. “Thanks.”

Renji dressed with Ichigo watching all the while, adding to his growing blush. Suddenly, a thought occurred to Renji.

I didn't tell Ichigo yet... I mean, I was going to but now...

Renji thought about how much fun he had had with Ichigo, how they had laughed together, talked together, ate together. I reminded him of what good friends they were. Yes. What good friends. That tugged at Renji's heart strings. No matter what Renji felt for Ichigo, they were friends above all else. If he told Ichigo then it was sure to ruin their friendship.

Renji turned to Ichigo, his face now more serious than ever. “Ichigo...” Ichigo shrugged back at the sudden seriousness in Renji's tone. He opened his mouth to respond but his throat was dry and it was all he could do to whimper a small 'yes'. Renji sighed and put a hand on Ichigo's shoulder.

I don't want to lose something so important over something so stupid. If keeping it from him means keeping him happy, then I'm okay with this...

“About what I said earlier... it...” Renji closed his eyes and breathed deeply. “It's nothing. Please, just forget about it.”

Renji opened his eyes and let a small gasp escape his lips. Ichigo looked up at him, his eyes shimmering and narrowed. His face was saddened, his mouth in a frown and his eyebrows furrowed. It was much unlike the response Renji expected. He thought Ichigo would give his usual scoff or muter a 'whatever' and leave it at that but now Ichigo seemed... sad... almost disappointed.

“Ichigo... Why are you-mmph!”

Renji was cut off by a pair of arms wrapped around his body and set of soft lips on his own. He stumbled back a few steps before steadying himself and realizing what was happening. Ichigo was kissing him. Ichigo was kissing him. Renji didn't get kiss back or respond. He was too shocked. Too many things shot through his mind at once, the most clear one being the thought of this being a dream. It must be a dream.

Ichigo pulled away after what felt like forever and buried his face into Renji's chest, never relinquishing his hold. “I love you.” Renji looked down at Ichigo dumbfound and put a finger to his lips. Ichigo looked up at him, tears in his brown eyes as they locked with Renji's red ones. All Renji could do was mouth Ichigo's name.

“I love you, Renji! And... I know you feel the same way! You were going to tell me! You were going to tell me, weren't you?”

Renji didn't respond. He griped Ichigo's arms and held him like that for a moment, their eyes locking, before pushing him back gently. “I'm sorry, Ichigo. I... can't say I feel the same way.” No! What am I doing?!

Ichigo's eyes widened for a moment before twisting in anger. “What are you talking about?! You do! I know you do! I... I was awake... that one time when you almost kissed me, I was awake!”

Renji shrugged back and suppressed a growl deep in his throat. Damn! “That was nothing! It was just...I mean... It doesn't mean anything!”

Ichigo growled and gripped Renji's arms, forcing him back against the nightstand. “Yes it did! Why are you doing this?! I love you, Renji! I know you feel the same way! Please! Please tell me how you feel! How you really feel!”

This time, Renji didn't suppress his growl and shoved Ichigo off of him. “I already told you! I don't love you! Were just friends, alright?!”

Renji almost felt his heart break as a tear tumbled down Ichigo's cheek. He almost reached up to wipe it away but remembered his place and immediately put his hand back down. He clenched his eyes shut and fought with himself.

Just tell him you love him! Why are you doing this to yourself?!

Renji didn't know where the voice came from but it seemed to tug at the back of his mind, torturing him.

No! Things are better this way! I may love Ichigo but it just wouldn't be good! For ether of us!

Renji's thoughts were cut off by the feel of soft lips on his. His eyes shot open and immediately realized Ichigo had kissed him again. He felt the warmth seep in through his lips, the feel of Ichigo's hands caressing his chest... He leaned in for a moment, about to kiss him back, ready to hold him when...

Renji pushed Ichigo away and spat on the ground. “Stop doing that! I already told you! I don't feel the same way!”

“Then what was that?! You kissed back for a moment! You almost held me! You do feel the same way! Please, Renji! I love you!”

“Well I DON'T love you!”

Renji looked into Ichigo's eyes and noticed all the conflicting emotions that reflected in them. Ichigo blinked and another tear was shed. Renji just stood and watched as Ichigo cried tears of frustration, sorrow, rejection...

“I'm... I'm sorry...” Renji muttered. “I have... I have to go!”

Renji pushed past Ichigo, jolting out of the door and practically leaping down the stairs. He could hear Ichigo's muffled cries and pleas for him not to go, screaming his name in desperation. Renji touched his cheek and noticed it was wet. He swiped at the tears with the back of his hand as he opened the front door and bolted out into the red of the fading sun.