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          There was complete pandemonium everywhere and here we were in the back of the theater, arguing the same topics over and over again.
          "It's a matter of life and death, Rory, and you're telling me that you're refusing to carry this axe…because it's nasty?"  All I really wanted to do was to sink my fist into his eye whilst simultaneously ripping my clothes off in a victorious war cry, but I'm told there's a time and place for everything.
          Rory crinkled his nose with disdain, delicately holding the axe between his thumb and forefinger as though it were a used condom.  Pursing his lips, his chin dropped in a deliberate nod.
          "Well, what the fuck are we supposed to do, then?  We have crazy-ass infected queens screaming for blood and flying at us from all fucking directions and you can't even fucking hold a fucking axe?!" I could feel the blood coursing through my veins pick up speed.
          "Watch your mouth, bitch!  I'm a lady!  Ladies don't hold axes!" sniffing, Rory gave his short crop a defiant flip.
          "You've got to be fucking kidding me.  I have the vagina here; you play Marilyn Monroe at Lucky Cheng's on the weekends.  If Marilyn were alive today, I assure you she'd be holding this FUCKING AXE.  LOOK AROUND YOU, RORY; IT'S THE END OF THE FUCKING WORLD."
          Rory's eyes flashed with fury, his lips parting with the beginnings of a reaming, cultivated from years of government imposed LGBT oppression.
          "You nasty bitch, you think you know anything about me just because you have a vagina?  Gender is not about what's between your legs, honey--the fact that I have a massive package is a testament to my divinity, bitch. I'm divine. Divine.  And let me tell you something about your nasty ass vagiFUCK--" The frothing, partially costumed Madonna had cut around the corner with such the conviction for flesh; Rory was down before I could react.
          "BITCH, DO SOMETHING!  DO SOMETHING! DOOOOOOOOOOOO—"
The color drained from my knuckles, gripping the axe.
          "FUCKDOSOMETHING"
          As the former pop diva feasted on his flesh like carrion, his screams rose to notes he was never able to hit on stage.
          And you know what?  He sounded divine.