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Iscariot-Priest — The library girl
Published: 2006-08-22 13:40:30 +0000 UTC; Views: 1255; Favourites: 21; Downloads: 8
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Description
I think we’ve met somewhere before,was it here, in the library?
She’s a girl that’s hard to ignore.
Perhaps we met in a bookstore,
flipping through the pages idly.
I think we’ve met somewhere before.
I steal a glance at her, unsure.
Turning, she looks straight back at me.
She’s a girl that’s hard to ignore.
“Hi,” I stall, trying to think of more
to say; ‘stead of pausing dumbly.
I think we’ve met somewhere before.
Words come to me, some mental ore.
“Hey you,” she says, smiling cutely.
She’s a girl that’s hard to ignore.
While she speaks, her eyes I explore.
Her name close, yet still too airy.
I think we’ve met somewhere before,
She’s a girl that’s hard to ignore.
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Comments: 67
Thanks. I haven't looked at this in ages.
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I know how to woo the ladies, no.
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Really interesting, I have never heard of an villanelle before (had to google it 
Also, her "Hey you" just sounded so suggestive, when I read it aloud at least. As if she knows exactly who he is and what's going through his head, and is just waiting for him to realize her identity.
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No need to blush, it's pretty old school.
I really like your interpretation of 'Hey you', that's exactly what I was shooting for!
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Awesome, I'm glad I understood it then! Usually I enjoy it, but don't always get the intended meaning.
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It's an old poetry style, where certain lines are repeated through out the poem.
This makes it more restricted, forcing the poet to draw more meaning out of fewer words.
I think the wiki link is pretty comprehensive for villanelles
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I see. Thanks for the enlightment.
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i really liked this. the vocab is simple but the form is skillyfully arranged. makes it nice to listen to and also pleasing to look at. way to gooo!! reminded me of a spring time crush
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very hard to make repetition of lines like that successful and unlaboured but you've done it 
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Thanks. Yeah, it's a bit clunky there
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Thanks, I'm happy you liked it
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This is new!!! Love this better!!! 
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Thanks. I think I'll just keep the new one on. After all if anyone wants the original, I can always note them a copy.
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This did hold my interest, but only because your writing simply does that to me. I love the feeling you've provided here of romance just out of reach.
But...
I must be honest and confess my dislike of Villanelle. This probably doesn't make me the best candidate for critiquing this piece of work.
I still think of you as a commendable soul for trying different styles.
Oh, yes. I meant to mention that I found an emoticon here that makes me happy:
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Oh my, Absolut 80. thanks for liking the piece, if not the style
Villanelles are lazy,
think of a repeatable line
and the rest is easy.
It can still be a thing of beauty
if you aren't bothered by the repetition
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Again, I have no advanced critque for you but I do have this:
Lovely. Very likeable and easy to read. The rhymes and repititions make me smile and the clever use of lines is really lovely.
Overall, I enjoyed reading this a lot.
I realise I barely comment on your stuff nowadays, I've just been very busy and I rarely have any true constructive criticism anyway.
x
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Eh, don't worry 'bout it. As long as you enjoyed reading it, it's good enough.
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it's all... rhymey and stuff. wow. um, I don't know, it's just a very likeable poem.
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Thanks. It's a villanelle, so it kinda has to be rhymey.
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How very sweet and charming! I must say that, being a hopeless romantic myself, this poem pretty much sums up the awkwardness and charm of trying to place someone who you find to be totally irresistible.
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He he, glad you liked it 
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I know I know...I'm so hopeless
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I agree with most of the comments. This poem was a cute one. It's one of those poems that you can actually see playing itself out...and while that's not what a lot of older poets would say what a poem is about...I'd have to say that there is an art in literal poetry, and you do a nice job.
Kudos.
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Thanks, and yeah I'm a literalist 
but seriously, your comment has inspired me to revise this piece!
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Sweet! Love to see the mind wander and evolve! Let me know when it's revised.
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This is the revised version 
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I just noticed that right before I put that up. Would you mind sending me the original so I could compare?
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Sure, I'll note it to you
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The fourth stanza seems choppy, or less smooth, than the others. On the whole the poem flows well, and it has a good feel.
You should try lyrics, I'll bet you'd be good at them. For this would translate wonderfully sung in my opinion. Nice job!
`lns
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Thanks. Oh man, I haven't reviewed this in ages! Thanks for the feed back
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Very welcome. It's always good to come into an old project fresh I think. Gives you a better perspective sometimes.
`lns
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It's very interesting! I only heard of villanelles recently, and ever since I heard about them I've been looking for good examples of them. I'm happy to say that I've found a great example here.
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Thanks, I'm happy you liked it
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Thanks, I'm happy you liked it
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most welcome...for some reason I'm unable to add U to my friends List...Do U know why?
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Brilliante! 
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Thanks, I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
I try to do more poems of this genre, but it's just too tiring sometimes.
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Lol! I've never actually tried a villanelle (sp?), so yea... 
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Take your time, the key is the first and third lines of the first stanza. Figure-out how you can reuse them and your half way there.
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Ah... ok. Lol. I shall remember your advice when I do attempt it. 
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You're welcome. I await you're attempt
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