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ithaswhatitisnt —
nine
Published: 2013-09-21 22:49:18 +0000 UTC; Views: 5484; Favourites: 181; Downloads: 0
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Description
ariel stole your breath more than i ever did -when my heart was thudding between your lungs,
because that was the only safe place, or so i was told
i can't remember when my heart caught the fever
for you had guarded it with your own ribcage for so long
my memories melded between your synapses and
we became one
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Comments: 136
What the h3ck?! You sure are kind, taking the time ti write such a detailed analysis/ review of the poem. I love people like you! You make us writers and artusts feel greatiy aooreciated.
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This poem may be short but it still paints a picture of feeling, comfort, and sadness. How "ariel" is more prominent to the boy than you yet you still love him deeply. But it seemed you did have some sort of connection with him. A moment. That kind of moment where you forget your troubles and woes and the only thing that matters is the person in front of you and the moment itself. That moment that only happens once in a lifetime. You feels so close and so familiar to him, you feel as if you could trust him with anything. Your secrets, your memories, your soul. Like you have become one being. Like being reborn into something new. You were able to describe something so unexplainable in such few words. For that, I give a hats off to you. Keep writing your in-depth poetry.
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Thank you very much for your critique.
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The first one was better.
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Saddening and yet so beautiful. Great job with this piece.
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Thank you so much! ^/////^
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This really is amazing, I can see why it got a DD, wow... 
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my memories melded between your synapses and
we became one
Love this
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I love the idea of melding into one..it's in a lot of my poetry
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You definitely deserve this DD. I'm glad they recognized your talent!
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my favorite part was "my memories melded between your synapses"
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^////^ aww, thank you!
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I thought this was a nice poem. I'm going to write a critique on it (I already did but I accidentally refreshed the page at 200+ words) -.- Anyways. 
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Thank you so much! 
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^^
I was so pissed off though. I wrote you like a 250+ word critique and I hit the f5 key instead of 5. DAMN >,<
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Aw, it's ok. 
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Aw, thank you!
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The first line is gorgeous and really drew me in. I find this poem to be beautifully haunting and powerful, and congratulations again on your DD!
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Aw, thank you so much, Steph!!
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No problem! And your piece has been featured here: fav.me/d6tllw7
Of course, you already know that now.
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Aw, thank you so much!!
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I know, right? I didn't like them at first, but they've grown on me
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