HOME | DD
izka197 — Not feeling well... :(
Published: 2014-01-07 01:39:12 +0000 UTC; Views: 8830; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 0
Redirect to original
Description
EDIT: please if you can, also share your thoughts in this forum post, thank you: forum.deviantart.com/devart/ge…thanks everyone who commented so far! you guys are awesome! I appreciate your support SO much, I can't even describe it.
/ENDOFEDIT
***
Umm I'm not sure if anyone will actually read this but I need to take it out of myself and maybe any of people who care will be able to help me or kick my ass or something....
I have no idea what's with me right now. I feel confused.
I will talk here mostly art wise because other things in life well.... life is life and that's a different thing. life sucks anyway.
I wanna talk about art things right now.
I don't know where I am right now. art-wise.
Not that I am not improving. Well I am not, but that's not the worst thing.
The thing is... that most of the time (90%) I am happy with my art. I love doing chibis, adoptables, cute and sexy girls, and I am really happy with that. my art gives me SO much happiness that I can't even describe that.
But sometimes I just think that I'm really terrible at what I do. like VERY terrible. not average (which is my art) but below that.
I don't know, in one while I'm super happy about my art and in another I'm so depressed about how bad I am.
I think this happens to everyone now and then...
I have almost 3,5 k watchers, which I am grateful about, but sadly only arround 5% of them are active watchers/ friends of mine.
To be honest, those 5% mean a lot to me and I wouldn't be where I am without you, guys, I'm sure you know that I'm talking to you, my dear friends and supporters. I am sincerely grateful for your support and friendship
but... where is the rest? I know that I'm not even good at art... but I try my best...
Many times I thought about changing account to a new one. but not sure if even those 5 % would follow me....
But I am afraid to loose all what I have on this account. Everyone, everything.
I am too bond to this account, it took a huge part of my life, almost 8 years, wow that's a lot.
I would love to start fresh but I am so much bond to this account...
I should have done this long time ago when I first had such thoughts, at this point I would be so much bond to my new account, lol.
Another huge problem for me is my username. I'm known everywhere as izka197
I would have to change everything to a new name, but I also have no freaking idea wha name could I use, I had this one since forever....But I am probably too afraid and too bond to make a new account, I'm afraid it wouldn't work at all and I would feel even worse.
I don't want to stop art oh no! I am also not drawing to please anyone, I am doing what I want, what I love and what I prefer. I am doing art mainly for myself, but it's nice to know if someone likes my crappy stuff...
I don't know.. maybe I should get a tablet maybe this will help me improve, I am probably stuck because of using my mouse techniques all the time since years.
but I don't really think that is the main problem... the main problem is me complaning... blah blah blah..
plus I can't sleep and I feel ill and terrible and everything is just.... not like I want it to be. why things can't be at least a bit how we want them to be....
Related content
Comments: 112
Noooot sure if you still read the comments on this journal but I just felt like dropping by and say that while I'm not an active watcher (as in, I don't fave/comment alot), this is nothing personal as I'm not really active on deviantArt in general.
I do usually peek around in your new submissions and adore your designs and art, but I usually forget to fave and don't really know what to comment (again, nothing personal, very often I have to force myself to think of something to say when it comes to close friends on DA)
If I can do anything to help you and that I have within my power, let me know. I'll gladly try to help you on your new account c:
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thank you so much for the comment, I appreciate it 
I would be happy if you still gave me some tips or constructive comments on my art, they're helpful, so if you only have some time, then it'll be awesome!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
If that helps you and will make you happy, I'll try to drop in a constructive criticism every once in a while C:
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I can totally understand how you feel with life being so messed up and complicated that you just want it to go back to the way things were. When you're like that it can affect how you draw. With me, the amount of stress that I have been under from all the family troubles, work, and my ankle I didn't draw a lot last year. I'm finally starting to get myself back together, and I've started drawing stuff for myself again. Also, all artist feel that at some point that their art will never improve, but eventually it does. 
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
yeah I noticed dear that you haven't done my last year, but I was happy to see you submitting anything
thank you for the comment
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Nie przejmuj się niskim procentem aktywnych watcherów. Myślę, że u każdego to norma. Są tacy, co dadzą watcha tylko by favować, tacy, by tylko oglądać rysunki oraz tacy, którzy sępią tylko i wyłącznie na odwet w tej samej postaci, czyli dostaniu watcha.
Ja przestałam rysować cute pokemon arty, mając doła skasowałam całą swoją galerię i teraz z moich ponad 9k watcherów odzywa się może max 15 osób na rysunek :> Kij im w oko, rysuję (mało bo mało) dla siebie, a skoro inni nie chcą czerpać radości z moich rysunków, to nie będę ich tu wrzucać. Moje podejście do deva bardzo się zmieniło przez ostatnie 3 lata. Kiedyś, na początku, uważałam, że moim psim obowiązkiem jest skomentować każdy rysunek w skrzynce, odpowiedzieć na każdy komentarz (bo się ludzie obrażą), wrzucać rysunek co kilka dni - a teraz? Mam to w nosie, I don't care. Albo to po prostu narodziło się moje chore podejście do życia i nie przejmuję się już ludźmi.
Któż to wie.
Trzymaj się ciepło i nie załamuj się z powodów od Ciebie niezależnych
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
oczywiscie, masz racje. aczkolwiek chyba chcialam jakiuejs zmiany, stad decyzja o zmianie konta
nie tylko o ludzi chodzi,m glownie chodzi o mnie. te przyklady to tylko przyklady, tzn osoby ktore watchuje, glownie chodzi o mnie i mam nadzieje ze bedzie to dorba decyzja
dzieki a komentarz
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Moim zdaniem, powinnaś zadać sobie dwa pytania: czy robię absolutnie wszystko aby się rozwijać? I co chcę osiągnąć?
Mi i innym nie musisz odpowiadać na te pytania, musisz być szczera wobec siebie.
Ja postawiłam sobie pewien cel i ze wszystkich sił do niego dążę, może Ty też powinnaś?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
dzieki za komentarz, postaram sie 
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
i like very much ur art ^^ and i will follow u, if you change of DA u.ú
U are very creative person and hope u are fine now
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thank you so much dear, I appreciate this very nmuch
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Izka, first off, you need to remember that's okay to sometimes feel a bit unhappy with your art.
I know that it can be disappointing when the things you normally draw aren't given you the same feelings of joy.
Secondly I have some advice that might help.
I know a couple of people have said this already, but I would strongly suggest that you do some traditional drawings.
But more than that, I would encourage you to try drawing things that you don't normally draw.
For example you could try drawing in a different style, or maybe try drawing things that aren't people, like trees...
This can help to remove some of the expectations you have about what you draw and who knows, you might really enjoy it
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thank you for the comment
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Well if there are things you want to try then my advice is to just go and do them
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Well, I still greatly admire and respect the piece of artwork I commissioned from you. :3
You seem like a really lovely person too.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thank you so much
but you changed account so you have some experience with it, from waht I see
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
You're very welcome. <3
Ah, well, I just got so fed up with not looking at art anymore, because I was following so many people and groups.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I hope you feel better soon and congrats on getting so many watchers.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thank you, but as said in the journal only less than 5% of my watchers are active, sadly, and over half of them left DA, so it's not really that much anymore, it's just a number, with most of them being empty.... sadly.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Ugh, I'm in the same boat.
I totally understand you.
I would like to change accounts to start all fresh, but I love my username, and I have my account for 7 years.. almost 8 I guess.
Everything I post here, I don't know aseuhase ;__;
Just few of my watchers are active as well.
I don't know you have read my last journal, but it was about something like this too.
A lot of people are passing through it last time.
I'm here for you if you need. ;A; I'm not the most active person in the world, but I'm trying.
I hope you feel better soon, I love your art and I support you.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
awww we have a similar situation from what I see....
thank you so much for your support, it's good to know you support me as well. I hope same for you and I support you as well
we even have accounts for similar time lenght, and I also love my username, but I think I really need to change something.... ahhhh it;s a hard choice.... really ^^' haven't you thought about changing accounts lately, or you don't want this anymore?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I already thought about it many times. XD
But... ahsruahesa I love this account. ;__; I wanna start again with the same account. LOL Hahah ~
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Izka, I'd follow your new account or as many new accounts as you want
shsh shh// Never stop drawing, I think your current account is wonderful ,but if you feel as though you need a new account, go for it. Whatever works for you But I do hope you'll figure it out and feel better ;v;
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thank you dear I am happy to hear this and I appreciate your support dear
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I wpuld follow you no matter how many times you would change account. Your art is very good and many people looks up to you. If you like what you are foing, do it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thank you so much, it's good to know, I appreciate your support
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Do not give up on what makes you happy!!(sorry for my bad English)
I know how you feel Iska.I like your art, is always creative and cute.Your contests are always amazing ( I really felt bad for not drawing my entry for Amelia's contest 
Maybe, live is trying to show to you improving your art...It's always happening to me ...
I have had lot of problems to solve and I've been asking to myself if I will have enough time to draw and give more attention to my Deviantart...Sorry....
I have two gifts, that I was embrassed to give to you, but now , I believe that It's the right moment
alexandraf2525.deviantart.com/…
alexandraf2525.deviantart.com/…
See you soon!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
awww thanks for the comment, and for the gifts, wow they're awesome! I love them! don't worry, I appreciate your support, thank you
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
oh,my God. I don't know you have a very difficult time. however you not only one who had this problem, i also had similar problem, however if we stop, nothing will change, nothing will be better, if you tired with this live , than take a rest, holiday, try to find new motivation, than after you refresh, you can moving again into future. Yes if you looking into you heart , you will finally find the there is hero inside of you.
please check this link below
kamen rider agito lyrics = pastebin.com/Xvbjv5ZC
ultraman cosmos lyrics = www.virtual-rotation.com/chirl…
no rain no raibow lyrics = gendou.com/amusic/lyrics.php?i… , www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqTLw-…
about using mouse, it's not a problem, honestly if you want to use tablet, that mean you have from zero,.....
and i want introduce one amazing mouse user artist (probably you already know), hes name is kantoku = 5-y.2-d.jp/ , www.pixiv.net/member.php?id=15…
I'm sorry there nothing much that i can do, i just hope you will get well soon, O, yeah, don't forget to pray to the God.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
awww I won't stop I don't want to stop, I only hesitate to make a new account or no at the current moment, not sure what to do, there are many pros and cons
thank you for your comment, I appreciate it
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
i see , just take your time thing and choose the best answer ...("Life is series of choices"...quot from noukome) well good luck
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I'm sorry you are feeling like this. It's common for artist to feel insecure about their work at some point, but please keep in mind you don't have to, you are a great artist.
I admit I'm not a talkative watcher, but I want you to know I still enjoy your work and you don't need to feel bad about your art.
I hope you feel better soon.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
yeah that's true, sadly it happens to all of us I'm afraid
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I am really sorry to hear that you are not feeling well, I hope that didn't happened anything bad to you. I have to say I am one of the 'silent-and-not-so-active' watchers of you even if I really like your drawings, but regardless I really enjoy your art and you personality through this site with many other fellow deviants.
New account / new name would give you fresh start, and trust me for the people who care about you and your art will follow you no matter what-where-how-when and rest well... that is life... (I am speaking from my own experience. I created a brand new account, because I felt needed brand new start and I didn't enjoy my art and account anymore. Well a lot people didn't followed me, but those who followed me I know they care at least a bit about my art. Of course I am not a really good at drawing, but still it really mattered to me). New name can be an option too (I have tried that option too
Relating your art if you allow me a small advice: Most artist-people after while reach a point when they are not happy with their works and feel discouraged, have self-doubt and feel that (s)he has hit a big wall relating art. It is pretty normal, it makes you only a human and artist who wants to strive for more and better and wants to improve. I am sure you will come over it and it will make you a better artist. I can only encourage you to try out different styles, new themes, techniques (maybe do some traditional work to refresh yourself), maybe new themes that you weren't that comfortable before.. It is like a new adventure and it is good way to expand your horizont. It can also help if you would take some break from DA and just draw for yourself, just for fun, for awhile (of course only you if don't need the commission income) , not submitting on internet anywhere. It takes away the pressure to think whether it will be popular on DA or not.
Also I am amazed you are still working with mouse. A cheap, small tablet wouldn't be bad idea. It would give you more opportunities and new way of drawing. I just recently bought a used Wacom bamboo tablet (now they called the newest version Intous pen I think) to doodle and color some of my doodles digitally. It s not that much expensive even if you buy a brand new one (well at least I didn't have to save up years or sell my organs). It is not that big deal, but it gave me a new inspiration and ideas too, which I couldn't do before, it could be also for you.
What I can only suggest you: Do as you like, because you will know-feel what is the best for you. In the end it all comes down to what you would like to do, many people will support you decision, some may not, but it is your decision. Anyways I hope you fell a bit better soon, you can always note me if you ever need to talk to someone 
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
actually name is the only thing I would prefer to stay the same but it's impossible, sadly
and yeah you're right about followers, friends and supporters- those who care would follow 
about art you do have many good points and are right of course. might try something, not sure what yet, but I wanna try some things at some later point
i decide if I will stay here or no.
of course the decision will be mine, and those who understand are awesome, and those who won't well what can I do I can't please everyone 
thanks for your comment it means a lot
may I ask some things? did you ever regret changing accounts and wanted to go back? how long were you on that older account?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Anytime my dear
I see, so you are fond of your name well that is a tricky case. Maybe that can be a solution that you gather all your older works in one folder (or put some in storage if you like) and start like clean new gallery. Just an idea.
Relating your question: I was using my other account actively for around 3-4 years (like really active, like daily posting something and interacting with people) then I became gradually inactive for more than 1-2 years because of health issues, loss of a close relatives, slight depression etc.. I really liked my account when I used it, but when I came back and I was using actively for months many of my friends-watchers weren't active and I wasn't really feeling comfortable with my account (with old favorites, old stories that I didn't want use anymore,etc). I put most of my old deviations into storage (to have it as a back up), not that I am ashamed of my old drawings, but I needed a clean closure and I choose my new account's username so it would have somehow connection to me (before I had a very general username, and Namtia is my very-very first charcter's name, which is very dear to me and it has connection also to my old account.)
It was pretty difficult at first, because you are used to have some interaction with your watchers when you submit something and to new account not everybody will follow you, because many think it is annoying and it is a hassle even if it takes just a few clicks, and I missed very much that interaction (and the ugly truth is of course your works won't have that much attention at first, because it is an unfamiliar name. Some of my watchers said at first that they didn't realized that I am the same person and were wondering who the hell am I) Altogether I don't regret my decision, I am pretty happy with my current account. Once-twice I thought about it I should go back to the old account, but only in the very first months when I used parallel the 2 account.
PS: Sorry my answer got a bit long
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thank you for sharing your story with me dear
thank you again, you helped me much
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
You are welcome dear 
Well yeah some people will follow for sure if you change accounts and that is really good. I also followed artists when they moved, I don't think of hassle, just there is always someone complaining you know it well 
I hope you feel a bit better soon and you will you make a decision you are happy with
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
You shouldn't think this way about your art, I think your drawings look great! But I understand your feeling.
About your account, just do whatever feels best for you. If you made a new one, I'll be more than happy to follow you there as well!
I hope everything goes better for you soon. <3
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thank you so much dear, it means a lot to me. I am still not sure, but I'm happy to know you will support me, thank you
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
| Next =>