HOME | DD

Description
“Buck, you really should get some rest,” Steve scrubbed a hand down his face. He and Bucky had been sat by Alex’s bedside since Banner had told them about her condition. “Sitting here, it won’t help anything.” He didn’t want to be so harsh with his friend, but it was the truth and Bucky needed to hear it.

But it was like talking to a brick wall. Bucky made no register of Steve’s words; there was no reaction, nothing to say that he had even heard him. He just kept his eyes on Alex, on the machines that surrounded her, the steady rise and fall of her chest. It was like going back to square one after he thought Alex would be okay.

“Banner’s doing everything he can.”

At this however, Bucky shot to his feet, storming from the room, Steve hot on his heels. “Where are you going?!” he shouted after him, having to jog to catch up with Bucky’s huge strides. And though Steve kept asking, it became abundantly clear where his friend was headed.

The lab door swung open, smashing into the wall hard enough to crack the plaster, making Banner jump, looking up at the intruders from his computer screen. “What the--”

“What are you doing to make sure Alex lives?!” Bucky looked at the doctor with dark piercing eyes.

Banner fumbled his words, still a little shocked from the intrusion. But, once he’d settled he moved a little closer to Bucky, “It’s a complex case and--”

“Fuck complex!” Bucky practically roared, hitting the desk next to him with his left arm, shattering the glass surface and causing both the doctor and Steve to flinch. “I need to know what you’re doing to help her!”

“Everything I can!” Banner yelled, stopping himself to take a deep breath as Steve moved between the two men. “You can yell all you want, Barnes, but that isn’t going to make a solution magically appear.”

Bucky went to say something, but Steve held up a hand, “And you two going at each other isn’t going to make any of this any easier. Doctor Banner, you should step back, take a breath, we don’t want this get out of hand. Bucky, either cool off or get out of here because you’re holding back any progress that’s being made by tearing up the place.”

There was quiet for a long time while each man took a moment to cool off. It was Banner who was first to speak.

“I was actually looking at something pretty promising before you came in and smashed up my office, Barnes,” he took off his glasses, cleaning them on his shirt, before replacing them. “The only way to back the deterioration of Alex’s cells is to encourage rapid regeneration. Until I try it there’s no real way of knowing exactly whether it would work, but right now it’s all I’ve got.”

Bucky huffed, mumbling, “Another experiment.”

Narrowing his eyes at his friend’s almost juvenile behaviour, Steve was left to ask the real questions. “How?”

“I’d have to transfuse some of the original formula into Alex’s bloodstream and hope that it would attach itself to her cells. Essentially overpowering the formula that Hydra gave her.”

“You’ve been able to synthesise the original formula?” Steve’s eyebrows raised.

But Banner shook his head, sighing, “I couldn’t do it before Rogers, I can’t do it now.”

“So, what then?” Bucky chimed in, tone only slightly than it had been before.

“So,” Banner started, both he and Steve giving Bucky chastising looks. “I need to find a sample of the formula elsewhere.”

“Could you take it from someone who’d already been given the formula?” Bucky questioned, suddenly understanding the doctor’s meaning. “You could take it from me?”

“Theoretically, yes. But it’s not that simple. I’ll have to do a blood test, make sure you’re a match.”

Bucky stood quickly, rolling up his sleeve and moving towards Banner, “Then do it now, do the blood test.”

The doctor looked to Steve as if asking for permission and when the captain gave an almost imperceptible nod, the doctor motioned for Bucky to sit down, gathering the things he need to take his blood.

It seemed to take an eternity for Banner to get back the results of the blood test and it felt as though Bucky had been holding his breath the entire time. Steve had returned to Alex’s bedside as per Bucky’s request, and he sat in the lab watching as Banner looked through the results.

The doctor’s brow furrowed and this did not go unnoticed by Bucky, whose heart began to race. “What is it?”

“Your blood type is AB,” He walked over to where Bucky sat, sitting in front of him, “Alex is B.” Bucky’s expression remained blank, he didn’t know what that meant. “I’m sorry, Barnes, you’re not a match. Alex could give you blood, but unfortunately for us, you can’t give it to her.”

Tears began to blur Bucky’s vision and try as he might, he couldn’t blink them away. “I’m not giving up,” Banner continued, “I’ll find a way to fix this.” He desperately wanted to be able to promise that Alex would live, but at this point he just didn’t know. So, instead he wordlessly rested a comforting hand on Bucky’s upper arm as he sat, head buried in his hands.

“Just…save her. Please.”

It pulled a little at the doctor’s heart to hear Bucky’s voice crack as he spoke. He wouldn’t give up on Alex, but they were running out of options.

The sound of glass clashing roused Bucky from a sleep he didn’t even realise he had fallen into. Sitting up and pushing his hair off his face, Bucky noticed that Banner seemed to be preparing something, “What are you doing?” His voice rasped from his sleep.

“I’m preparing a blood transfusion for Alex.” Banner spoke without facing him. Bucky’s brow furrowed, he must have heard that wrong. “But I thought she couldn’t have my blood?”

“She can’t.”

“Which is why it’s a good thing that it’s not your blood.” A voice said behind him and Bucky turned to see Steve drinking a glass of orange juice. “It’s mine.”

Bucky’s confused stare switched between the two men, unsure of what was happening. There was a part of him that thought this might just be a dream and he really hadn’t woken up at all.

“Steve’s blood type is B, like Alex, and considering his blood contains Erskine’s original formula, we may have a better chance of success.”

“So when are you going to do it?” Bucky asked quickly.

Banner’s eyes returned to his work, “Just as soon as I have this ready,” He fastened a tube into the pack of Steve’s blood and everything was all set. “Shall we?” He walked past the other two men and out towards the lab where Alex’s bed was.

“Well, you heard the man,” Steve smiled at Bucky, who had come to stand beside him, Steve went to follow Banner, but a sudden grip on his wrist stopped him. But before he could say anything, he was pulled into a crushing hug by Bucky, his arms wrapping tightly around his friend.

“Thank you, Steve.” He said softly, voice thick with emotion. And saying nothing, Steve just hugged him back, before Bucky pulled away with a small smile. It was then that Steve saw more of his old friend than he had since they’d found him again.

By the time they reached Banner, he had already started the transfusion and all they could do was watch as Steve’s blood slowly drained from the bag into Alex’s veins.

Hours passed and there was no real improvement yet – but none of decline either. Banner, Steve and Bucky watched over Alex like hawks, eyes watching carefully for any change, as nurses came in and out, checking Alex’s vitals.

But as Bucky began to drift off a little there was a rapid beeping that caused all three men to jump to their feet.

“Her BP’s dropping!” Banner rushed to the bedside, summoning one of the nurses. “Get me an intubation tray!” She rushed off at his request.

“What’s happening?!” Bucky’s eyes were wide and panicked, “What’s going on Banner?!”

As the beeping became more rapid, the nurse returned with the tray, handing it to Banner. But, as he began to prepare, the monitor gave a constant beep. He tossed the tray aside, “She’s flatlining! We need to start compressions!”

“Is she dying?!” Bucky’s eyes were filling fast.

“Get him out of here, Rogers!” An exasperated Banner shouted over his shoulder.

“No! I’m not leaving her!”

“I don’t have time for this, Barnes! If you want her to live, I need you out!”

As much as he wanted to, Bucky couldn’t argue with that and reluctantly he let Steve drag him from the room, Banner still working hard on Alex’s CPR.

“Come on, Alex. I know you’re strong enough to get through this.”

When Alex opened her eyes, she felt completely fine, sitting up in her bed. But, as she sat she found that the bed was the only piece of furniture in the room. Weird, she thought, hopping down.

“Bucky?” She called into the hall.

Nothing.

“Doctor Banner?”

Silence.

“Steve?”

There was only quiet. She received no response but deafening silence. The weirdest thing was there was no sound from anywhere – it was as if the whole building was deserted.
Walking from her room and into the hall, she spotted a figure at the end of the corridor.

“Hello?” Alex called to them. They seemed familiar in their stance, but they were too far into the shadow for her to get a good enough look.

So, Alex moved cautiously closer, approaching them slowly until light filtered in onto their features, stopping her dead in her tracks. “…Mom?”

“Hey, baby girl,” Her mother stepped forward, looking as though no time at all had passed.
Alex couldn’t believe what she was seeing, “You’re alive?”

Her mother shook her head and gently rested a hand on Alex’s cheek like she used to do when she was younger and Alex could feel that it was ice cold. “So, is this a dream?” Pausing for a moment, her mother just looked at her before slowly shaking her head again. And then it hit her, “Am…am I dead?”

“That remains to be seen.”

Alex!

It was like a whisper on the wind. “They’re still fighting for you.” Her mother wrapped an arm around her shoulders as they walked. “But the choice is yours.”

“So, I have to choose whether I live or die?”

“Not exactly.” Her mother gestured to something behind her and turning, Alex saw her father. But he looked strong and healthy, not frail as he had been when she lost him.

Turning back she hugged her mother tightly, feeling momentarily like a child again. “I love you, baby girl. Never forget that.” She placed a kiss on her daughter’s forehead before letting her go.

Alex gave her a sad smile, and began walking towards her father, before turning back again. “So, what is the choice I have to make?”

“Whether or not to fight.”

Banner kept compressing Alex’s chest, the nurse looking on anxiously, “It’s been half an hour, doctor. She isn’t responding.”

“I’ve seen patients go hours before responding to CPR,” he continued his actions, watching as Bucky stood by the window, fear etched on his features. “We have to try.”

“So they’re still trying to perfect it?”

Alex sighed, “No one’s doing a very good job. Hence my being here.”

Her father looked at her with a disapproving look that only a parent can give, “You shouldn’t have done that, Alexis, it was dangerous and incredibly stupid.”

“I realise that now.” She remained quiet for a moment, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You were too young to understand.”

“I could’ve tried.”

Her father chuckled, “I’ve no doubt about that. But sometimes just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should.” He rested his hand on hers, “But look at you now, my brave little girl. You’re a force to be reckoned with.”

“And yet I’m dying. Or dead.”

“You’re strong. You’ll get through this.” He squeezed her hand reassuringly. “And you can fix it.”

She turned sharply, confused, “What?”

“The serum.”

“I can fix it?” Alex said with a disbelieving tone. “How?”

He leaned in closer, “My files, Alex. You’ll know what it means.” His eyes went to something across the room and following his gaze she saw a periodic table – the one he used to have in his office when she was little.

Her brow furrowed, “What does--” turning back around Alex found that her father was no longer there, “Dad?” She looked around but he was nowhere to be seen.

Getting up, she began pacing the halls again, looking for anyone who’d give her a straight answer about this place. But as she rounded the corner she saw a face that just raised more questions, “Bucky?”

“Why isn’t she responding?” Bucky chewed his thumb nail, nervously watching through the window.

Steve sighed, trying to keep his own worry under wraps to help his friend, “Sometimes it takes a little longer to--”

“To what, Steve?! To die?” Bucky’s eyes were wide. “Because that’s what’s happening in there – she’s dead!”

He stared at Steve for a moment before his emotions got the best of him, and he crumpled to the floor in tears. Steve crouched beside him, wrapping his arms tightly around Bucky’s trembling frame as he had done when they were kids and Steve had needed him – he knew what it was like to watch the woman that you love slipping away, knowing there was nothing you could do to stop it. “Banner’s gonna save her, Buck.”

“Bucky?”

“Hey.” He gave her his gorgeous smile, and though that was the same, he looked completely different stood there in his sergeant’s uniform.

Alex was so confused, “But you’re not dead…” She faltered, “Are you?”

“Every time men go into war a piece of them dies,” They walked together, Alex unable to keep her eyes off him. “You’re wondering what’s different about me, right?” he anticipated her question.

“Well, yeah,” She sat on a table nearby, studying the man before her. “You’re like him, but something’s…”

“Different?”

Alex chuckled, nodding. It would’ve been great to give a more eloquent answer, but she didn’t know what it was that was different.

“A lot of people say its innocence.”

“What is?”

“What men lose going into war, what I am.” Bucky hopped up beside her, removing his hat and placing it next to him. “But I’m not so sure.”

Alex!

There it was again, that same whisper. “What do you think it is?” She asked, trying to ignore the distant voice.

“I don’t know exactly what it is, and sure, some its innocence, but that wasn’t all he lost.”

“I’m guessing you’re not talking about the arm.”

He chuckled softly, “He lost who he was. I mean, before all this, he was me. Carefree Bucky Barnes who knew how to charm all the pretty gals.” He nudged her gently.

“I don’t know, he’s still pretty good with that.” Alex spoke with a nostalgic smile.

“I was ready to fight, but I wasn’t ready to die.” She could hear something different in his voice. It was like fear. “Falling from that train…he was here, same as you. But he didn’t have a choice – Hydra made that choice for him. But that left me here – Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes, the fallen soldier.”

The two of them sat in silence for a while, Alex still ignoring the voice that seemed to get closer every minute. She felt tired, exhausted of fighting it all.

“It’s funny though, when you’re that close to the end, all you can think of is what you never did and what you’ll never get the chance to do.” She didn’t know whether Bucky was telling her this for her benefit or his own, but she listened nonetheless. “Never had a sweetheart, not like Steve. Until that moment it never felt important to fall in love with someone – but as I fell it was the one thing that I wished I had experienced. That feeling of knowing you were one half of a whole.”

Alex turned to him, taking his left hand in hers, momentarily disorientated by its soft warmth, such a far cry from the solid metal she was used to. “I love you, Bucky.”

He gave her a sad smile, lifting his hand from hers to rest it on her cheek. “No,” his thumb stroked rhythmically across her skin, “You love the man he is without me, and that’s a far better thing than I could’ve wished for. You bought him back to life, Alex.” Bucky brought his other hand up, forcing Alex to keep her eyes on him. “And it’s killing him to think you might not make it.” He eyes were glistening, “I can feel it – it’s like falling from that train all over again.”

“I’m so tired of fighting,” Alex’s voice was almost a whisper.

Bucky wrapped his arms around her tightly, “Just one more time. You’re strong enough to get through this.”

Pulling away, Alex stood, the quiet voices becoming louder and more intrusive, “You hear that?” Bucky asked, coming to stand beside her. “They’re trying to save you.”
He grasped her hand and the sudden contact felt like a shock to her system. “It’s your choice, Alex.” Bucky leant closer, pressing a soft kiss to her lip, shocking her again, more intense this time. “So what’s it gonna be?”

Description
“Buck, you really should get some rest,” Steve scrubbed a hand down his face. He and Bucky had been sat by Alex’s bedside since Banner had told them about her condition. “Sitting here, it won’t help anything.” He didn’t want to be so harsh with his friend, but it was the truth and Bucky needed to hear it.

But it was like talking to a brick wall. Bucky made no register of Steve’s words; there was no reaction, nothing to say that he had even heard him. He just kept his eyes on Alex, on the machines that surrounded her, the steady rise and fall of her chest. It was like going back to square one after he thought Alex would be okay.

“Banner’s doing everything he can.”

At this however, Bucky shot to his feet, storming from the room, Steve hot on his heels. “Where are you going?!” he shouted after him, having to jog to catch up with Bucky’s huge strides. And though Steve kept asking, it became abundantly clear where his friend was headed.

The lab door swung open, smashing into the wall hard enough to crack the plaster, making Banner jump, looking up at the intruders from his computer screen. “What the--”

“What are you doing to make sure Alex lives?!” Bucky looked at the doctor with dark piercing eyes.

Banner fumbled his words, still a little shocked from the intrusion. But, once he’d settled he moved a little closer to Bucky, “It’s a complex case and--”

“Fuck complex!” Bucky practically roared, hitting the desk next to him with his left arm, shattering the glass surface and causing both the doctor and Steve to flinch. “I need to know what you’re doing to help her!”

“Everything I can!” Banner yelled, stopping himself to take a deep breath as Steve moved between the two men. “You can yell all you want, Barnes, but that isn’t going to make a solution magically appear.”

Bucky went to say something, but Steve held up a hand, “And you two going at each other isn’t going to make any of this any easier. Doctor Banner, you should step back, take a breath, we don’t want this get out of hand. Bucky, either cool off or get out of here because you’re holding back any progress that’s being made by tearing up the place.”

There was quiet for a long time while each man took a moment to cool off. It was Banner who was first to speak.

“I was actually looking at something pretty promising before you came in and smashed up my office, Barnes,” he took off his glasses, cleaning them on his shirt, before replacing them. “The only way to back the deterioration of Alex’s cells is to encourage rapid regeneration. Until I try it there’s no real way of knowing exactly whether it would work, but right now it’s all I’ve got.”

Bucky huffed, mumbling, “Another experiment.”

Narrowing his eyes at his friend’s almost juvenile behaviour, Steve was left to ask the real questions. “How?”

“I’d have to transfuse some of the original formula into Alex’s bloodstream and hope that it would attach itself to her cells. Essentially overpowering the formula that Hydra gave her.”

“You’ve been able to synthesise the original formula?” Steve’s eyebrows raised.

But Banner shook his head, sighing, “I couldn’t do it before Rogers, I can’t do it now.”

“So, what then?” Bucky chimed in, tone only slightly than it had been before.

“So,” Banner started, both he and Steve giving Bucky chastising looks. “I need to find a sample of the formula elsewhere.”

“Could you take it from someone who’d already been given the formula?” Bucky questioned, suddenly understanding the doctor’s meaning. “You could take it from me?”

“Theoretically, yes. But it’s not that simple. I’ll have to do a blood test, make sure you’re a match.”

Bucky stood quickly, rolling up his sleeve and moving towards Banner, “Then do it now, do the blood test.”

The doctor looked to Steve as if asking for permission and when the captain gave an almost imperceptible nod, the doctor motioned for Bucky to sit down, gathering the things he need to take his blood.

It seemed to take an eternity for Banner to get back the results of the blood test and it felt as though Bucky had been holding his breath the entire time. Steve had returned to Alex’s bedside as per Bucky’s request, and he sat in the lab watching as Banner looked through the results.

The doctor’s brow furrowed and this did not go unnoticed by Bucky, whose heart began to race. “What is it?”

“Your blood type is AB,” He walked over to where Bucky sat, sitting in front of him, “Alex is B.” Bucky’s expression remained blank, he didn’t know what that meant. “I’m sorry, Barnes, you’re not a match. Alex could give you blood, but unfortunately for us, you can’t give it to her.”

Tears began to blur Bucky’s vision and try as he might, he couldn’t blink them away. “I’m not giving up,” Banner continued, “I’ll find a way to fix this.” He desperately wanted to be able to promise that Alex would live, but at this point he just didn’t know. So, instead he wordlessly rested a comforting hand on Bucky’s upper arm as he sat, head buried in his hands.

“Just…save her. Please.”

It pulled a little at the doctor’s heart to hear Bucky’s voice crack as he spoke. He wouldn’t give up on Alex, but they were running out of options.

The sound of glass clashing roused Bucky from a sleep he didn’t even realise he had fallen into. Sitting up and pushing his hair off his face, Bucky noticed that Banner seemed to be preparing something, “What are you doing?” His voice rasped from his sleep.

“I’m preparing a blood transfusion for Alex.” Banner spoke without facing him. Bucky’s brow furrowed, he must have heard that wrong. “But I thought she couldn’t have my blood?”

“She can’t.”

“Which is why it’s a good thing that it’s not your blood.” A voice said behind him and Bucky turned to see Steve drinking a glass of orange juice. “It’s mine.”

Bucky’s confused stare switched between the two men, unsure of what was happening. There was a part of him that thought this might just be a dream and he really hadn’t woken up at all.

“Steve’s blood type is B, like Alex, and considering his blood contains Erskine’s original formula, we may have a better chance of success.”

“So when are you going to do it?” Bucky asked quickly.

Banner’s eyes returned to his work, “Just as soon as I have this ready,” He fastened a tube into the pack of Steve’s blood and everything was all set. “Shall we?” He walked past the other two men and out towards the lab where Alex’s bed was.

“Well, you heard the man,” Steve smiled at Bucky, who had come to stand beside him, Steve went to follow Banner, but a sudden grip on his wrist stopped him. But before he could say anything, he was pulled into a crushing hug by Bucky, his arms wrapping tightly around his friend.

“Thank you, Steve.” He said softly, voice thick with emotion. And saying nothing, Steve just hugged him back, before Bucky pulled away with a small smile. It was then that Steve saw more of his old friend than he had since they’d found him again.

By the time they reached Banner, he had already started the transfusion and all they could do was watch as Steve’s blood slowly drained from the bag into Alex’s veins.

Hours passed and there was no real improvement yet – but none of decline either. Banner, Steve and Bucky watched over Alex like hawks, eyes watching carefully for any change, as nurses came in and out, checking Alex’s vitals.

But as Bucky began to drift off a little there was a rapid beeping that caused all three men to jump to their feet.

“Her BP’s dropping!” Banner rushed to the bedside, summoning one of the nurses. “Get me an intubation tray!” She rushed off at his request.

“What’s happening?!” Bucky’s eyes were wide and panicked, “What’s going on Banner?!”

As the beeping became more rapid, the nurse returned with the tray, handing it to Banner. But, as he began to prepare, the monitor gave a constant beep. He tossed the tray aside, “She’s flatlining! We need to start compressions!”

“Is she dying?!” Bucky’s eyes were filling fast.

“Get him out of here, Rogers!” An exasperated Banner shouted over his shoulder.

“No! I’m not leaving her!”

“I don’t have time for this, Barnes! If you want her to live, I need you out!”

As much as he wanted to, Bucky couldn’t argue with that and reluctantly he let Steve drag him from the room, Banner still working hard on Alex’s CPR.

“Come on, Alex. I know you’re strong enough to get through this.”

When Alex opened her eyes, she felt completely fine, sitting up in her bed. But, as she sat she found that the bed was the only piece of furniture in the room. Weird, she thought, hopping down.

“Bucky?” She called into the hall.

Nothing.

“Doctor Banner?”

Silence.

“Steve?”

There was only quiet. She received no response but deafening silence. The weirdest thing was there was no sound from anywhere – it was as if the whole building was deserted.
Walking from her room and into the hall, she spotted a figure at the end of the corridor.

“Hello?” Alex called to them. They seemed familiar in their stance, but they were too far into the shadow for her to get a good enough look.

So, Alex moved cautiously closer, approaching them slowly until light filtered in onto their features, stopping her dead in her tracks. “…Mom?”

“Hey, baby girl,” Her mother stepped forward, looking as though no time at all had passed.
Alex couldn’t believe what she was seeing, “You’re alive?”

Her mother shook her head and gently rested a hand on Alex’s cheek like she used to do when she was younger and Alex could feel that it was ice cold. “So, is this a dream?” Pausing for a moment, her mother just looked at her before slowly shaking her head again. And then it hit her, “Am…am I dead?”

“That remains to be seen.”

Alex!

It was like a whisper on the wind. “They’re still fighting for you.” Her mother wrapped an arm around her shoulders as they walked. “But the choice is yours.”

“So, I have to choose whether I live or die?”

“Not exactly.” Her mother gestured to something behind her and turning, Alex saw her father. But he looked strong and healthy, not frail as he had been when she lost him.

Turning back she hugged her mother tightly, feeling momentarily like a child again. “I love you, baby girl. Never forget that.” She placed a kiss on her daughter’s forehead before letting her go.

Alex gave her a sad smile, and began walking towards her father, before turning back again. “So, what is the choice I have to make?”

“Whether or not to fight.”

Banner kept compressing Alex’s chest, the nurse looking on anxiously, “It’s been half an hour, doctor. She isn’t responding.”

“I’ve seen patients go hours before responding to CPR,” he continued his actions, watching as Bucky stood by the window, fear etched on his features. “We have to try.”

“So they’re still trying to perfect it?”

Alex sighed, “No one’s doing a very good job. Hence my being here.”

Her father looked at her with a disapproving look that only a parent can give, “You shouldn’t have done that, Alexis, it was dangerous and incredibly stupid.”

“I realise that now.” She remained quiet for a moment, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You were too young to understand.”

“I could’ve tried.”

Her father chuckled, “I’ve no doubt about that. But sometimes just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should.” He rested his hand on hers, “But look at you now, my brave little girl. You’re a force to be reckoned with.”

“And yet I’m dying. Or dead.”

“You’re strong. You’ll get through this.” He squeezed her hand reassuringly. “And you can fix it.”

She turned sharply, confused, “What?”

“The serum.”

“I can fix it?” Alex said with a disbelieving tone. “How?”

He leaned in closer, “My files, Alex. You’ll know what it means.” His eyes went to something across the room and following his gaze she saw a periodic table – the one he used to have in his office when she was little.

Her brow furrowed, “What does--” turning back around Alex found that her father was no longer there, “Dad?” She looked around but he was nowhere to be seen.

Getting up, she began pacing the halls again, looking for anyone who’d give her a straight answer about this place. But as she rounded the corner she saw a face that just raised more questions, “Bucky?”

“Why isn’t she responding?” Bucky chewed his thumb nail, nervously watching through the window.

Steve sighed, trying to keep his own worry under wraps to help his friend, “Sometimes it takes a little longer to--”

“To what, Steve?! To die?” Bucky’s eyes were wide. “Because that’s what’s happening in there – she’s dead!”

He stared at Steve for a moment before his emotions got the best of him, and he crumpled to the floor in tears. Steve crouched beside him, wrapping his arms tightly around Bucky’s trembling frame as he had done when they were kids and Steve had needed him – he knew what it was like to watch the woman that you love slipping away, knowing there was nothing you could do to stop it. “Banner’s gonna save her, Buck.”

“Bucky?”

“Hey.” He gave her his gorgeous smile, and though that was the same, he looked completely different stood there in his sergeant’s uniform.

Alex was so confused, “But you’re not dead…” She faltered, “Are you?”

“Every time men go into war a piece of them dies,” They walked together, Alex unable to keep her eyes off him. “You’re wondering what’s different about me, right?” he anticipated her question.

“Well, yeah,” She sat on a table nearby, studying the man before her. “You’re like him, but something’s…”

“Different?”

Alex chuckled, nodding. It would’ve been great to give a more eloquent answer, but she didn’t know what it was that was different.

“A lot of people say its innocence.”

“What is?”

“What men lose going into war, what I am.” Bucky hopped up beside her, removing his hat and placing it next to him. “But I’m not so sure.”

Alex!

There it was again, that same whisper. “What do you think it is?” She asked, trying to ignore the distant voice.

“I don’t know exactly what it is, and sure, some its innocence, but that wasn’t all he lost.”

“I’m guessing you’re not talking about the arm.”

He chuckled softly, “He lost who he was. I mean, before all this, he was me. Carefree Bucky Barnes who knew how to charm all the pretty gals.” He nudged her gently.

“I don’t know, he’s still pretty good with that.” Alex spoke with a nostalgic smile.

“I was ready to fight, but I wasn’t ready to die.” She could hear something different in his voice. It was like fear. “Falling from that train…he was here, same as you. But he didn’t have a choice – Hydra made that choice for him. But that left me here – Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes, the fallen soldier.”

The two of them sat in silence for a while, Alex still ignoring the voice that seemed to get closer every minute. She felt tired, exhausted of fighting it all.

“It’s funny though, when you’re that close to the end, all you can think of is what you never did and what you’ll never get the chance to do.” She didn’t know whether Bucky was telling her this for her benefit or his own, but she listened nonetheless. “Never had a sweetheart, not like Steve. Until that moment it never felt important to fall in love with someone – but as I fell it was the one thing that I wished I had experienced. That feeling of knowing you were one half of a whole.”

Alex turned to him, taking his left hand in hers, momentarily disorientated by its soft warmth, such a far cry from the solid metal she was used to. “I love you, Bucky.”

He gave her a sad smile, lifting his hand from hers to rest it on her cheek. “No,” his thumb stroked rhythmically across her skin, “You love the man he is without me, and that’s a far better thing than I could’ve wished for. You bought him back to life, Alex.” Bucky brought his other hand up, forcing Alex to keep her eyes on him. “And it’s killing him to think you might not make it.” He eyes were glistening, “I can feel it – it’s like falling from that train all over again.”

“I’m so tired of fighting,” Alex’s voice was almost a whisper.

Bucky wrapped his arms around her tightly, “Just one more time. You’re strong enough to get through this.”

Pulling away, Alex stood, the quiet voices becoming louder and more intrusive, “You hear that?” Bucky asked, coming to stand beside her. “They’re trying to save you.”
He grasped her hand and the sudden contact felt like a shock to her system. “It’s your choice, Alex.” Bucky leant closer, pressing a soft kiss to her lip, shocking her again, more intense this time. “So what’s it gonna be?”