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Description
Roxanne sat at Carrie’s bedside, watching as her mother slept. Her eyes were heavy, but she could not sleep, not while her mother was still so ill. The oxygen mask was still strapped to her mouth, and an IV drip was attached to her wrist. But, Carrie was still here, she was still fighting.

“Flagging a little there, kid.” Tony’s voice came from the doorway behind her, but Roxanne didn’t turn, her focus remaining on Carrie.

He moved further into the room, coming to rest a hand on Roxanne’s shoulder, “You need to get some sleep.”

“I’m fine.”

“I don’t care. Your mother would kill you and then me if she knew you weren’t getting any sleep because of her.”

“I don’t want to leave her alone,” Roxanne’s voice was small, and Tony could see her as a terrified child, worried for her mother. It broke his heart.

“She won’t be alone,” he sat beside Roxanne, “I’ll stay with her while you go and get some rest. I barely sleep anyway.”

She turned to face him, as though silently asking if he meant it, to which he simply gave a tight smile that he hoped would reassure her. “Go on, kid. Sleep it off.”

Reluctantly she stood up, pushing her dark locks back. Now they were eye to eye, Tony could see just how scared she was, and he desperately wanted to comfort her somehow. It was too early to hug, he knew that – they’d made progress since she and Carrie arrived, and he didn’t want them to go backwards. So, playing it safe, he opted to rest a hand on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. It was enough for now, he knew that as Roxanne gave him a tired smile.

He watched her walk out of the room and was overcome with a wave of guilt. Sitting down, he looked at Carrie’s pale, unconscious form. When she died, Roxanne would be left with him - a man who was virtually a stranger to her. He’d missed so much of her life, and soon he might be all she had left. Finding out he had a child that he never knew about was one thing, but finding out that child was a fully formed adult was a whole other issue. Roxanne needed him, but at the same time, she didn’t need him at all. She would say that she was old enough to take care of herself, and yet he could already see that behind her eyes she was falling apart.

And he could only hope that she would lean on him when the time came.

Roxanne wandered down to the kitchen, in the hopes that if it at least seemed like she was making an effort to get some rest, Tony might let her back into her mother’s room. And yet, she was tired. But, she didn’t to miss anything by sleeping – if her mom really had as little time as the doctors thought, then she could be gone before she even had the chance to…well, she didn’t even know what. But she knew that she wasn’t ready to lose her mom – was anyone ever ready for that?

“We’ve gotta stop meeting like this.”

Looking up, Roxanne saw that Steve was leaning against the counter. She didn’t even hear him come in. His smile fell when he saw her expression. “You look tired.”

She smirked at the concern in his voice, “Such a charmer.”

“I try,” he grinned, coming closer to where she stood. “You should go to bed.”

Roxanne looked away again, “I can’t.” Her voice was small, and for the first time, Steve felt as though he was being given a glimpse behind the walls she’d built up to protect herself.

“Why?”

“Because, what if I go to sleep and she doesn’t wake up?”

He could see her eyes filling up a little, “That’s not gonna happen.”

“But what if it does?” She chewed on her bottom lip, “I can’t sleep thinking that I might not get to see her again.”

Steve took her hands in his, forcing her eyes to his. “Roxanne, you need to sleep. Your mom would not want you to make yourself sick to show how much you care about her. She already knows.” And though she seemed to be thinking over his words, Steve knew that he wasn’t going to win this way. “Okay. How about you sleep for a couple of hours? I’ll sit with you, and wake you up after you’ve had a chance to rest.”

She shook her head, “You don’t have to do that.”

“I know,” he said, steering her out of the kitchen, towards her room. “But I’m gonna.”

Roxanne turned on the light in her room, and in Steve’s eyes it seemed to reflect her perfectly. There were boxes stacked in the corner, still sealed, and one case open in the middle of the floor with clothes thrown all over the room. In the short time he’d known Roxanne, there was one thing he knew for sure – you only saw what she wanted you to see.

She sat on the edge of the bed, “Y’know, sleeping’s usually easier if you’re lying down,” Steve sat on the other side, his back against the headboard. She turned, and he patted the bed beside him, “Come on, just try it out.”

“You’re not gonna leave until I lie down, are you?”

“I am not gonna leave until I’ve seen that you’ve slept, at least a little.”

Reluctantly, she lay back, “Why are you doing this for me?”

“Because I know what it’s like,” he said, distantly. “My mom was ill too.”

Roxanne turned onto her side to face him, “What was she like?”

Steve leant back with a small, sad smile. “She was the best,” he lay down, facing Roxanne, “I was the scrawniest kid. I had asthma, and I was allergic to like, everything.”

He chuckled a little, “Not to mention I was getting beat up every day. But she didn’t yell, she didn’t cry, she just patched me up and told me that one day it was all gonna get better – that someday I’d be someone people looked up to.”

“I guess she was right.”

“I guess so. I just wish she’d lived to see it.”

Roxanne smiled, “Sounds like he always saw you as a hero, even if you didn’t.”

Steve kept talking, until Roxanne drifted off to sleep. He had to admit that, despite the circumstances, he’d enjoyed being with her like this – talking to her about how his life used to be. It felt good to know that he’d helped her, even in this small way, because he’d been there, and he had Bucky. But, the hours were going by, and Steve was beginning tire. Roxanne hadn’t been asleep long, and he never slept for very long anyway – all those years in the ice took care of that. He closed his eyes for just a moment…

He woke with a start, sunlight streaming in through the window of Roxanne’s bedroom. He looked beside him, where Roxanne still slept soundly. A smile spread across Steve’s lips, as he gently moved away the hair that hung over her face. But, as quickly as it came, his smile disappeared, replaced with confusion. If Roxanne was still asleep, then what had woken him so suddenly?

His heart sank as he heard thunderous footsteps come down the hall. Jumping out of bed, he rushed to the door in time to see Tony running towards him. The genius paused for a second, clearly confused as to why Steve was coming out of his daughter’s room – but it quickly passed, and he pushed past the captain into Roxanne’s room, where she now sat up, rubbing her eyes tiredly. She looked to Tony, still half asleep, and after a moment her eyes widened, some understanding passing between the two of them.

She leapt out of bed, running past Tony, who tried to stop her, as well as Steve, who looked between the father and daughter, concerned. She kept going, Tony close behind her, and when she finally the room where her mother was, it felt as if she stopped breathing.

On the monitor beside her bed was one flat line. No peaks and valleys. No heartbeat. Nothing.

Silent tears rolled down her cheeks. Her mother was gone.

And she never got to say goodbye…

Description
Roxanne sat at Carrie’s bedside, watching as her mother slept. Her eyes were heavy, but she could not sleep, not while her mother was still so ill. The oxygen mask was still strapped to her mouth, and an IV drip was attached to her wrist. But, Carrie was still here, she was still fighting.

“Flagging a little there, kid.” Tony’s voice came from the doorway behind her, but Roxanne didn’t turn, her focus remaining on Carrie.

He moved further into the room, coming to rest a hand on Roxanne’s shoulder, “You need to get some sleep.”

“I’m fine.”

“I don’t care. Your mother would kill you and then me if she knew you weren’t getting any sleep because of her.”

“I don’t want to leave her alone,” Roxanne’s voice was small, and Tony could see her as a terrified child, worried for her mother. It broke his heart.

“She won’t be alone,” he sat beside Roxanne, “I’ll stay with her while you go and get some rest. I barely sleep anyway.”

She turned to face him, as though silently asking if he meant it, to which he simply gave a tight smile that he hoped would reassure her. “Go on, kid. Sleep it off.”

Reluctantly she stood up, pushing her dark locks back. Now they were eye to eye, Tony could see just how scared she was, and he desperately wanted to comfort her somehow. It was too early to hug, he knew that – they’d made progress since she and Carrie arrived, and he didn’t want them to go backwards. So, playing it safe, he opted to rest a hand on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. It was enough for now, he knew that as Roxanne gave him a tired smile.

He watched her walk out of the room and was overcome with a wave of guilt. Sitting down, he looked at Carrie’s pale, unconscious form. When she died, Roxanne would be left with him - a man who was virtually a stranger to her. He’d missed so much of her life, and soon he might be all she had left. Finding out he had a child that he never knew about was one thing, but finding out that child was a fully formed adult was a whole other issue. Roxanne needed him, but at the same time, she didn’t need him at all. She would say that she was old enough to take care of herself, and yet he could already see that behind her eyes she was falling apart.

And he could only hope that she would lean on him when the time came.

Roxanne wandered down to the kitchen, in the hopes that if it at least seemed like she was making an effort to get some rest, Tony might let her back into her mother’s room. And yet, she was tired. But, she didn’t to miss anything by sleeping – if her mom really had as little time as the doctors thought, then she could be gone before she even had the chance to…well, she didn’t even know what. But she knew that she wasn’t ready to lose her mom – was anyone ever ready for that?

“We’ve gotta stop meeting like this.”

Looking up, Roxanne saw that Steve was leaning against the counter. She didn’t even hear him come in. His smile fell when he saw her expression. “You look tired.”

She smirked at the concern in his voice, “Such a charmer.”

“I try,” he grinned, coming closer to where she stood. “You should go to bed.”

Roxanne looked away again, “I can’t.” Her voice was small, and for the first time, Steve felt as though he was being given a glimpse behind the walls she’d built up to protect herself.

“Why?”

“Because, what if I go to sleep and she doesn’t wake up?”

He could see her eyes filling up a little, “That’s not gonna happen.”

“But what if it does?” She chewed on her bottom lip, “I can’t sleep thinking that I might not get to see her again.”

Steve took her hands in his, forcing her eyes to his. “Roxanne, you need to sleep. Your mom would not want you to make yourself sick to show how much you care about her. She already knows.” And though she seemed to be thinking over his words, Steve knew that he wasn’t going to win this way. “Okay. How about you sleep for a couple of hours? I’ll sit with you, and wake you up after you’ve had a chance to rest.”

She shook her head, “You don’t have to do that.”

“I know,” he said, steering her out of the kitchen, towards her room. “But I’m gonna.”

Roxanne turned on the light in her room, and in Steve’s eyes it seemed to reflect her perfectly. There were boxes stacked in the corner, still sealed, and one case open in the middle of the floor with clothes thrown all over the room. In the short time he’d known Roxanne, there was one thing he knew for sure – you only saw what she wanted you to see.

She sat on the edge of the bed, “Y’know, sleeping’s usually easier if you’re lying down,” Steve sat on the other side, his back against the headboard. She turned, and he patted the bed beside him, “Come on, just try it out.”

“You’re not gonna leave until I lie down, are you?”

“I am not gonna leave until I’ve seen that you’ve slept, at least a little.”

Reluctantly, she lay back, “Why are you doing this for me?”

“Because I know what it’s like,” he said, distantly. “My mom was ill too.”

Roxanne turned onto her side to face him, “What was she like?”

Steve leant back with a small, sad smile. “She was the best,” he lay down, facing Roxanne, “I was the scrawniest kid. I had asthma, and I was allergic to like, everything.”

He chuckled a little, “Not to mention I was getting beat up every day. But she didn’t yell, she didn’t cry, she just patched me up and told me that one day it was all gonna get better – that someday I’d be someone people looked up to.”

“I guess she was right.”

“I guess so. I just wish she’d lived to see it.”

Roxanne smiled, “Sounds like he always saw you as a hero, even if you didn’t.”

Steve kept talking, until Roxanne drifted off to sleep. He had to admit that, despite the circumstances, he’d enjoyed being with her like this – talking to her about how his life used to be. It felt good to know that he’d helped her, even in this small way, because he’d been there, and he had Bucky. But, the hours were going by, and Steve was beginning tire. Roxanne hadn’t been asleep long, and he never slept for very long anyway – all those years in the ice took care of that. He closed his eyes for just a moment…

He woke with a start, sunlight streaming in through the window of Roxanne’s bedroom. He looked beside him, where Roxanne still slept soundly. A smile spread across Steve’s lips, as he gently moved away the hair that hung over her face. But, as quickly as it came, his smile disappeared, replaced with confusion. If Roxanne was still asleep, then what had woken him so suddenly?

His heart sank as he heard thunderous footsteps come down the hall. Jumping out of bed, he rushed to the door in time to see Tony running towards him. The genius paused for a second, clearly confused as to why Steve was coming out of his daughter’s room – but it quickly passed, and he pushed past the captain into Roxanne’s room, where she now sat up, rubbing her eyes tiredly. She looked to Tony, still half asleep, and after a moment her eyes widened, some understanding passing between the two of them.

She leapt out of bed, running past Tony, who tried to stop her, as well as Steve, who looked between the father and daughter, concerned. She kept going, Tony close behind her, and when she finally the room where her mother was, it felt as if she stopped breathing.

On the monitor beside her bed was one flat line. No peaks and valleys. No heartbeat. Nothing.

Silent tears rolled down her cheeks. Her mother was gone.

And she never got to say goodbye…