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Description

   Donghae drove me and dropped me off at home after this whole 'encounter', one that he was so hyped about the entire way home. We talked about this and that, but by the way Donghae kept bouncing around in his seat let me know his mind was really on that guy (whose name is Siwon, as Donghae has told me now a whopping 103 times. And counting).

    I really was so happy for him...at first, but I'll admit I felt a twinge of jealousy at how easily people warmed up to him, especially to dates. if anyone ever considered me for a date, they probably also realized that other girls exist in this world. I felt a little lonely, and the feeling grew even though Donghae was right beside me and we were singing and laughing. I always felt this kind of way around people in relationships, it usually just got awkward for me being the 'third wheel' so I just avoided people altogether.

    But I had no one else but Donghae...

--

"Leeteuk! I'm home!" I called, putting my school bag on the floor. I stepped onto the floor and my foot barely hit the ground when I heard him yell.

"Ah ah ah! SHOES!"

I sighed. "Yes, umma..."

"I heard that!"

   I walked into the kitchen and found my big brother Leeteuk cooking up a storm. He never used to cook like this; he learned from mom before she left to find wherever the hell our dad went. my biggest fear when she left wasn't her never coming back, it was how long I'd be able to stand Leeteuk's cooking. So far, he's not half bad. I haven't died...yet.

"Hey, I missed you today! Where have you been?"

"I went shopping/boy scouting for guys with Donghae."

   He laughed; he sounds just like Elmo, but I'll never tell him. Not yet. "Any bites on the fishing line of destiny?" He announced dramatically, winking at me. He was just teasing, but his comment brought back my earlier resentment towards Donghae's new relationship. I forced a weak smile before retreating to my room for a minute.

"You are so corny, Teukie..."

--

   I have no idea how long I was out for, but Leeteuk's sudden intrusion into my room made me jump out of bed and throw a pillow at him. He leaned back and it missed his face by a hair.

"Hey! Woah! Easy, ninja warrior. I'm just checking on you."

"What for? I'm fine."

"Pffft." He sat on my bed next to me, hands folded over. "You think, after all the years that we've grown up together, that I wouldn't know when something's wrong? Tell me before I 'water-screen' you."

"Teukie...its...its complicated. it's a question really."

"I'm all ears, sweetie."

   I leaned back on the bed to avoid his stare. "Is it wrong of me to be a LITTLE jealous of Donghae?"

"What do you mean?"

"I just...I feel really bad. Don't get me wrong I'm happy for him and his new boyfriend, but I cant help worrying that we...we'll..."

   He reached out a warm hand that stroked my hair gently. "You're worried that you'll be alone again?"

   I nodded, and he laid down next to me. He let me put my head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat, the only soothing sound I needed. He sighed. " Don't take this the wrong way but...I think that maybe you need to make some new friends."

"But Teukie I-"

"Let me finish; I think that if you made new friends, it may help you cope. You won't be alone, and who knows..." He sat up, holding me. I shivered, but I told myself I wouldn't cry. "Maybe you'll meet a special someone."

"But... how? I don't know how to talk to other guys! I only have a few groups; the outcasts like me, the popular rich boys from Gangnam, and Heechul's little bunch of idiots..."

   His gentle smile suddenly turned serious and he held my shoulders firmly. "You must never ever EVER try to talk to ANYONE from Heechul's party, they're bad news. I love you too much to see you hurt...or worse." I saw flecks of tears beginning to line his eyes and I cringed inwardly. Two guys crying in one day!? AM I THE ONLY ONE HERE WITH SELF CONTROL over my own estrogen!?

"Okay Teukie."

"Promise?"

    I cuddled him tightly to me, finally able to get some attention today. "I promise."

--

'Make new friends...make new friends...'

   I chanted Leeteuk's advice to myself over and over, hoping I'd get some kind of courage. It wasn't working at all because my legs felt like limp pieces of noodle and I had the sinking feeling that my breath still smelled like kimchi from lunch. Just a hazardous guess.

   I bumped into someone as I was waltzing the halls, trying not to look for Donghae but at the same time worried about where he was. Whoever I had bumped into was small, plushie, and smelled really REALLY good. Not that I'm...I mean I'm not...never mind.

    I smell people okay!? DON'T JUDGE.

"Oh! I-I'm so sorry!" I held up my hands, bowing apologetically in front of one of the sexiest yet cutest combinations I've ever seen. He had slick black hair that tumbled over his face, and he had chubby cheeks that made his dark, foxy eyes sparkle. He was so cute and yet his flashy outfit suggested he was a popular boy. His smile was thin and forced, I could tell, but he sighed and shrugged like it was no big deal.

"Yea, it's...it's alright. Don't worry about it." He bowed stiffly.

"No no, its my fault! The least I can do is help you out..." I bent to pick up his things for him, a...pink laptop case with a weird assortment of new things. But before I could stand up he put his thin hand on my head and held me down. It hurt my neck as he pressed down while he lowered himself to my eye level.

"Hey, what gives!? Get your fucking hand off my head!" He held me in place, squeezing my temples with his fingertips until pain shot through my eyes. His voice was low, probably would be sexy if he wasn't crushing my head like a fucking strawberry.

"Listen, do yourself a favor. Stay in your little misfit group, and don't. Ever. Talk. To. us..."

   He let go of my head by throwing me on my ass, taking his stuff, and flashing me a sickeningly innocent smile before walking away to a giggling group of rich girls. I rubbed my head, trying to clear the stars from my vision, when I heard approaching footsteps. My eyes were closed from the pain, and I wanted to cry because Donghae just now came to help me. Where had he been when I needed him a second ago!? ...WHERE HAD HE BEEN ALL THOSE TIMES I NEEDED HIM!?

"Look, just because you have a new boyfriend and all doesn't mean you can just leave me on my own!"

"He's always like that you know."

   That wasn't Donghae's voice; it was higher and softer sounding. I looked up and blinked a few times and saw a tall guy with platinum blonde hair and thick black glasses looking down at me. He had a bright white sweater and tight skinny pants, and he wasn't really smiling, but not frowning either. His lips were in a thin line. His perfect, pink pearl lips...I almost drooled all over the floor. He lowered himself down and I caught the scent of oranges and strawberries on him.

"Who...who was that guy?"

"What?"

"I'm going to find him and egg his precious luxury car before I leave school today! See how he likes that."

"That's Lee Sungmin. He's always like that to everyone, don't take it personally..."

"Oh, you know from experience!?" I snapped.

   He shrugged and nodded. "Actually yea."

   The way he said it just moved something inside me. It could've been my heart, or whatever the shriveled thing in my chest was now. He didn't look like the easy target type at first, but by the way he carried his books so defensively made me think otherwise. "Look, I stopped giving a shit what the populars said about me a long time ago. I'm just...really dizzy."

   I tried to stand up but I was still a little fuzzy. I had to lean on the wall for support; luckily the guy with glasses picked me up and my purse from the ground.

"Heh heh, you seem pretty tough." His laugh was short, subtle, but HOLY SHIT WAS IT CUTE! I fought a blush coming on and just took my purse.

"Thanks um...uh..."

"Lee Hyukjae. But...all my friends call me Eunhyuk."

"Weird, I've never heard of you."

"That's because I have no friends." He laughed at his own sad joke, never looking me in the eyes. Not once. I noticed he covered his mouth when he laughed; I should probably do that if I have kimchi breath.

"Well...I at least think I've seen you before."

"You have. I'm in your math class."

"Oh? Really? Yea I kinda don't look around much in that class. I'm not that great at math, sooo..."

"Oh! Um..." he was getting really nervous, I could tell by the hints of sweat on his brow. "I-If you need help, I-I-I could maybe...um..."

   Despite just meeting him I smiled. "If you'd tutor me, I would be forever indebted to you...Eunhyuk."

   He gasped sharply, staring at me finally so I could get a good look at his eyes. They were gorgeous~ brown and gold flecked and warm, such beautifully hooded eyes. I couldn't hide my blushing, and apparently neither could he as his hand shot up to cover his face.

"I-I'd love to, just let me know. Bye!" He muttered at me before turning to leave just as the bell rang. He was just...I had to study him as he walked away. He was a nerd...I totally cute nerd, but a NERD! I really didn't know how to feel; I tried to physically wipe the blush off of my cheeks. If I attracted nerd attention, there goes my low position on the social ladder. Even Donghae wouldn't want to hang out with me anymore.

   'God what have I done...' I thought nervously before walking away.

Description

   Donghae drove me and dropped me off at home after this whole 'encounter', one that he was so hyped about the entire way home. We talked about this and that, but by the way Donghae kept bouncing around in his seat let me know his mind was really on that guy (whose name is Siwon, as Donghae has told me now a whopping 103 times. And counting).

    I really was so happy for him...at first, but I'll admit I felt a twinge of jealousy at how easily people warmed up to him, especially to dates. if anyone ever considered me for a date, they probably also realized that other girls exist in this world. I felt a little lonely, and the feeling grew even though Donghae was right beside me and we were singing and laughing. I always felt this kind of way around people in relationships, it usually just got awkward for me being the 'third wheel' so I just avoided people altogether.

    But I had no one else but Donghae...

--

"Leeteuk! I'm home!" I called, putting my school bag on the floor. I stepped onto the floor and my foot barely hit the ground when I heard him yell.

"Ah ah ah! SHOES!"

I sighed. "Yes, umma..."

"I heard that!"

   I walked into the kitchen and found my big brother Leeteuk cooking up a storm. He never used to cook like this; he learned from mom before she left to find wherever the hell our dad went. my biggest fear when she left wasn't her never coming back, it was how long I'd be able to stand Leeteuk's cooking. So far, he's not half bad. I haven't died...yet.

"Hey, I missed you today! Where have you been?"

"I went shopping/boy scouting for guys with Donghae."

   He laughed; he sounds just like Elmo, but I'll never tell him. Not yet. "Any bites on the fishing line of destiny?" He announced dramatically, winking at me. He was just teasing, but his comment brought back my earlier resentment towards Donghae's new relationship. I forced a weak smile before retreating to my room for a minute.

"You are so corny, Teukie..."

--

   I have no idea how long I was out for, but Leeteuk's sudden intrusion into my room made me jump out of bed and throw a pillow at him. He leaned back and it missed his face by a hair.

"Hey! Woah! Easy, ninja warrior. I'm just checking on you."

"What for? I'm fine."

"Pffft." He sat on my bed next to me, hands folded over. "You think, after all the years that we've grown up together, that I wouldn't know when something's wrong? Tell me before I 'water-screen' you."

"Teukie...its...its complicated. it's a question really."

"I'm all ears, sweetie."

   I leaned back on the bed to avoid his stare. "Is it wrong of me to be a LITTLE jealous of Donghae?"

"What do you mean?"

"I just...I feel really bad. Don't get me wrong I'm happy for him and his new boyfriend, but I cant help worrying that we...we'll..."

   He reached out a warm hand that stroked my hair gently. "You're worried that you'll be alone again?"

   I nodded, and he laid down next to me. He let me put my head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat, the only soothing sound I needed. He sighed. " Don't take this the wrong way but...I think that maybe you need to make some new friends."

"But Teukie I-"

"Let me finish; I think that if you made new friends, it may help you cope. You won't be alone, and who knows..." He sat up, holding me. I shivered, but I told myself I wouldn't cry. "Maybe you'll meet a special someone."

"But... how? I don't know how to talk to other guys! I only have a few groups; the outcasts like me, the popular rich boys from Gangnam, and Heechul's little bunch of idiots..."

   His gentle smile suddenly turned serious and he held my shoulders firmly. "You must never ever EVER try to talk to ANYONE from Heechul's party, they're bad news. I love you too much to see you hurt...or worse." I saw flecks of tears beginning to line his eyes and I cringed inwardly. Two guys crying in one day!? AM I THE ONLY ONE HERE WITH SELF CONTROL over my own estrogen!?

"Okay Teukie."

"Promise?"

    I cuddled him tightly to me, finally able to get some attention today. "I promise."

--

'Make new friends...make new friends...'

   I chanted Leeteuk's advice to myself over and over, hoping I'd get some kind of courage. It wasn't working at all because my legs felt like limp pieces of noodle and I had the sinking feeling that my breath still smelled like kimchi from lunch. Just a hazardous guess.

   I bumped into someone as I was waltzing the halls, trying not to look for Donghae but at the same time worried about where he was. Whoever I had bumped into was small, plushie, and smelled really REALLY good. Not that I'm...I mean I'm not...never mind.

    I smell people okay!? DON'T JUDGE.

"Oh! I-I'm so sorry!" I held up my hands, bowing apologetically in front of one of the sexiest yet cutest combinations I've ever seen. He had slick black hair that tumbled over his face, and he had chubby cheeks that made his dark, foxy eyes sparkle. He was so cute and yet his flashy outfit suggested he was a popular boy. His smile was thin and forced, I could tell, but he sighed and shrugged like it was no big deal.

"Yea, it's...it's alright. Don't worry about it." He bowed stiffly.

"No no, its my fault! The least I can do is help you out..." I bent to pick up his things for him, a...pink laptop case with a weird assortment of new things. But before I could stand up he put his thin hand on my head and held me down. It hurt my neck as he pressed down while he lowered himself to my eye level.

"Hey, what gives!? Get your fucking hand off my head!" He held me in place, squeezing my temples with his fingertips until pain shot through my eyes. His voice was low, probably would be sexy if he wasn't crushing my head like a fucking strawberry.

"Listen, do yourself a favor. Stay in your little misfit group, and don't. Ever. Talk. To. us..."

   He let go of my head by throwing me on my ass, taking his stuff, and flashing me a sickeningly innocent smile before walking away to a giggling group of rich girls. I rubbed my head, trying to clear the stars from my vision, when I heard approaching footsteps. My eyes were closed from the pain, and I wanted to cry because Donghae just now came to help me. Where had he been when I needed him a second ago!? ...WHERE HAD HE BEEN ALL THOSE TIMES I NEEDED HIM!?

"Look, just because you have a new boyfriend and all doesn't mean you can just leave me on my own!"

"He's always like that you know."

   That wasn't Donghae's voice; it was higher and softer sounding. I looked up and blinked a few times and saw a tall guy with platinum blonde hair and thick black glasses looking down at me. He had a bright white sweater and tight skinny pants, and he wasn't really smiling, but not frowning either. His lips were in a thin line. His perfect, pink pearl lips...I almost drooled all over the floor. He lowered himself down and I caught the scent of oranges and strawberries on him.

"Who...who was that guy?"

"What?"

"I'm going to find him and egg his precious luxury car before I leave school today! See how he likes that."

"That's Lee Sungmin. He's always like that to everyone, don't take it personally..."

"Oh, you know from experience!?" I snapped.

   He shrugged and nodded. "Actually yea."

   The way he said it just moved something inside me. It could've been my heart, or whatever the shriveled thing in my chest was now. He didn't look like the easy target type at first, but by the way he carried his books so defensively made me think otherwise. "Look, I stopped giving a shit what the populars said about me a long time ago. I'm just...really dizzy."

   I tried to stand up but I was still a little fuzzy. I had to lean on the wall for support; luckily the guy with glasses picked me up and my purse from the ground.

"Heh heh, you seem pretty tough." His laugh was short, subtle, but HOLY SHIT WAS IT CUTE! I fought a blush coming on and just took my purse.

"Thanks um...uh..."

"Lee Hyukjae. But...all my friends call me Eunhyuk."

"Weird, I've never heard of you."

"That's because I have no friends." He laughed at his own sad joke, never looking me in the eyes. Not once. I noticed he covered his mouth when he laughed; I should probably do that if I have kimchi breath.

"Well...I at least think I've seen you before."

"You have. I'm in your math class."

"Oh? Really? Yea I kinda don't look around much in that class. I'm not that great at math, sooo..."

"Oh! Um..." he was getting really nervous, I could tell by the hints of sweat on his brow. "I-If you need help, I-I-I could maybe...um..."

   Despite just meeting him I smiled. "If you'd tutor me, I would be forever indebted to you...Eunhyuk."

   He gasped sharply, staring at me finally so I could get a good look at his eyes. They were gorgeous~ brown and gold flecked and warm, such beautifully hooded eyes. I couldn't hide my blushing, and apparently neither could he as his hand shot up to cover his face.

"I-I'd love to, just let me know. Bye!" He muttered at me before turning to leave just as the bell rang. He was just...I had to study him as he walked away. He was a nerd...I totally cute nerd, but a NERD! I really didn't know how to feel; I tried to physically wipe the blush off of my cheeks. If I attracted nerd attention, there goes my low position on the social ladder. Even Donghae wouldn't want to hang out with me anymore.

   'God what have I done...' I thought nervously before walking away.