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Description
Mini rant, don't mind me.
Just annoyed that because of my CPTSD, I can't relate to anyone and nobody can relate to me. I feel so different and alien and it hurts to know that it'll never change.
And nobody wants to know me because my life is 95% depressing, and talking to me would just make everyone around me feel terrible - which I completely understand. So I'm this bag of worms that squirms about and just sits there, and people are afraid to get close in case the worms might spill out or something, I dunno.

"What is the funniest part of your family get-together?",
and I'd respond "Oh well... my family would shun my weight and then call me anti-social when I left the room so - pretty good."
"How many pets have you had?",
and I'd respond "Oh heaps. But they're all mostly dead. And about 90% of them died suddenly and I couldn't save them. And now I'm afraid that the pets I currently own will die because I'm a curse. That was great."
"What are some of your earliest memories?",
and I'd respond "I can only remember age 6+ and they're all negatives memories involving me being lonely or being hurt. Man they were the good old days."
"What do you like to read?"
and I'd respond "Oh I can't read because it's too easy for my mind to drift off and think about something super depressing and dark. Meh, It happens!"

Completely normal questions that I don't have any positive answer for. And this is why I can't make good conversation. Because I'm depressing as shit.
Fuck.

Description
Mini rant, don't mind me.
Just annoyed that because of my CPTSD, I can't relate to anyone and nobody can relate to me. I feel so different and alien and it hurts to know that it'll never change.
And nobody wants to know me because my life is 95% depressing, and talking to me would just make everyone around me feel terrible - which I completely understand. So I'm this bag of worms that squirms about and just sits there, and people are afraid to get close in case the worms might spill out or something, I dunno.

"What is the funniest part of your family get-together?",
and I'd respond "Oh well... my family would shun my weight and then call me anti-social when I left the room so - pretty good."
"How many pets have you had?",
and I'd respond "Oh heaps. But they're all mostly dead. And about 90% of them died suddenly and I couldn't save them. And now I'm afraid that the pets I currently own will die because I'm a curse. That was great."
"What are some of your earliest memories?",
and I'd respond "I can only remember age 6+ and they're all negatives memories involving me being lonely or being hurt. Man they were the good old days."
"What do you like to read?"
and I'd respond "Oh I can't read because it's too easy for my mind to drift off and think about something super depressing and dark. Meh, It happens!"

Completely normal questions that I don't have any positive answer for. And this is why I can't make good conversation. Because I'm depressing as shit.
Fuck.