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Description
Who am I? Am I heartless? Anorexic? A cold-blooded, murderous, dirty, killing human being? -- Wait, am I even human anymore? While I have been here, I've killed, hurt, back-stabbed, and most of all, broken people. Innocent people. Only a small quantity were hurt on purpose... but I have to think to myself sometimes: "Did the people whom my head thought deserved it, really deserve it?" A dark side in the back of my head, says that a girl named Kaiya Tsu Ruki was shot by me purposely. Because I thought she deserved it. Just because I'm a jealous and a little childish bitch who is blinded by my hatred for her. My fucking ugly eyes prove it. But I don't have a good reason to hate Kaiya... Ah, Kaiya... she has never done anything to me. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. NOTHING. NOTHING at all! She only threw a dodge-ball at me once, but that doesn't mean I could just shoot her for that stupid thing! I was just... jealous. Jealous about everything about Kaiya.
Every.
Single.
Thing.
I can not see any reason why I shouldn't be jealous of her. Those pretty green eyes that could lure any man.. including Nic and Shanty, why wouldn't they fall in love with her? I wish that there were two Kaiyas, so they can both be with her instead of Shanty being stuck with me. Though he says he doesn't care about Kaiya, I still doubt it, as much I want to trust him. I just know he wants to touch her long and gorgeous straight black hair, and that body I have been trying to get ever since Shanty left... I guess forgetting to eat, taking those pills, or drinking doesn't help me get that body at all! Pfft, I'm such a pathetic loser, thinking that drinking could actually make me prettier than Kaiya. Nothing can make me prettier than Kaiya. Just look at me. I don't have those curves that Kaiya has, my only part of me that I thought was good, my eyes, are now ugly. They aren't purple anymore... they're that disgusting reddish purple color. My hair's shorter, too. Why did I even decide to make my hair shorter in the first place? I'm a fucking idiot. Everyone's right to call me stupid. Everyone has called me stupid at least once I bet. Even if it was just in their little minds. I was just fine when my hair was down to my waist. Maybe I was drunk or something when that happened, because now my hair looks like crap. My skin's also an ugly pale color. It's always been an ugly pale color, actually. I can't change it much. Because I'm dead. That's right, DEAD. My heart doesn't beat anymore. Kaiya's does, I bet. At least she has functioning veins unlike me. Speaking of living, I bet I can't even become pregnant since I'm a fucking corpse that can walk. I think that's a good thing since I can't be pregnant... right? Isn't that what guys think these days? Maybe I'm useful in some way... But, I still can't even look at myself in the mirror for a full second, because I'm staring into the face of a dead person. I can't do that, so why would anyone else bother to even take one glimpse at me? I think I like that, not being looked at. So people's eyes don't hurt when they look at me. Which is good, I don't want to hurt anyone else anymore.

Maybe I have some kind of heart... but it's not good enough. Because both Nic and Shanty hate me ever since Seth decided to drug Nic and I. I understand why they would detest me... because of me, Nic's and Kaiya's relationship is weaker, and I'm doubting that Shanty likes me at all... even though he came back. I don't get what Seth's deal is. Why would he do that? He's trying to make me love him in the worst way possible... why can't he just go find another girl? She'd be way better than me. Then the drugging wouldn't have happened in the first place... but it did make me see something. I saw that Shanty thinks that I'm weak. He's only called me "badass" once but... most of the other times, like when he was going to Sudan he also said I was weak. Weaker than Kaiya. He talks about her a lot... which is why I can't believe that he really doesn't care about Kaiya. He talks about how smart she is when he has the chance to, and how strong she is, too. I often have to fight an urge to tell him to stop talking about her. But when I'm with Nic he doesn't talk about Kaiya much... he seems more concerned about me more than Shanty is, actually. Sometimes I wonder if I should have chosen Nic... But what would happen if I chose him? I hate comparing anyone to him... but Shanty seems like Seth. He would kill to get what he wants. Because he almost killed Nic that one night when Nic disguised himself as a chef, it gave me shivers up my spine when I saw Shanty and Nic fighting. They looked exactly like Dave and Seth.

And here I thought I wouldn't make the same mistake again. But my past is looking so much like my future. Except for one thing, which is me choosing the "Seth" of this future. But I'm still feeling a tug at me to be with Nic, because he does love me as much as Shanty does, maybe even more. He just shows his love for me differently... Nic is with Kaiya though, so he wouldn't want to be with me. He has the better girl. So he should be happy as he is, and I should just stay isolated from everyone so they can be happy too.

Which is why I'm staying in my room alone and quietly singing. I have nothing else to do but sing. I don't even look at anything. I just sit on my bed and close my eyes and sing, hoping that someone would come in my room and just finish me off. But... another part of me wants to live, so I can suffer for all of the people I have hurt. Feeling the hunger and emotional pain...
After I'm done doing the only thing I can do anymore, I think to myself.

"Who am I?"

--

Welp. This hit me right in the feels while I was looking at the picture, writing this, and listening to [link] , [link] , and [link]

But anyways, ;///; I decided to draw this sad thing because I wanted to show how Seiko was feeling at the moment. I think I messed up on the hair, while attempting to do what I did with Mary's portrait.

The depressive one Seiko belongs to:

Kaiya and Shanty belongs to:

Nic belongs to:

Description
Who am I? Am I heartless? Anorexic? A cold-blooded, murderous, dirty, killing human being? -- Wait, am I even human anymore? While I have been here, I've killed, hurt, back-stabbed, and most of all, broken people. Innocent people. Only a small quantity were hurt on purpose... but I have to think to myself sometimes: "Did the people whom my head thought deserved it, really deserve it?" A dark side in the back of my head, says that a girl named Kaiya Tsu Ruki was shot by me purposely. Because I thought she deserved it. Just because I'm a jealous and a little childish bitch who is blinded by my hatred for her. My fucking ugly eyes prove it. But I don't have a good reason to hate Kaiya... Ah, Kaiya... she has never done anything to me. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. NOTHING. NOTHING at all! She only threw a dodge-ball at me once, but that doesn't mean I could just shoot her for that stupid thing! I was just... jealous. Jealous about everything about Kaiya.
Every.
Single.
Thing.
I can not see any reason why I shouldn't be jealous of her. Those pretty green eyes that could lure any man.. including Nic and Shanty, why wouldn't they fall in love with her? I wish that there were two Kaiyas, so they can both be with her instead of Shanty being stuck with me. Though he says he doesn't care about Kaiya, I still doubt it, as much I want to trust him. I just know he wants to touch her long and gorgeous straight black hair, and that body I have been trying to get ever since Shanty left... I guess forgetting to eat, taking those pills, or drinking doesn't help me get that body at all! Pfft, I'm such a pathetic loser, thinking that drinking could actually make me prettier than Kaiya. Nothing can make me prettier than Kaiya. Just look at me. I don't have those curves that Kaiya has, my only part of me that I thought was good, my eyes, are now ugly. They aren't purple anymore... they're that disgusting reddish purple color. My hair's shorter, too. Why did I even decide to make my hair shorter in the first place? I'm a fucking idiot. Everyone's right to call me stupid. Everyone has called me stupid at least once I bet. Even if it was just in their little minds. I was just fine when my hair was down to my waist. Maybe I was drunk or something when that happened, because now my hair looks like crap. My skin's also an ugly pale color. It's always been an ugly pale color, actually. I can't change it much. Because I'm dead. That's right, DEAD. My heart doesn't beat anymore. Kaiya's does, I bet. At least she has functioning veins unlike me. Speaking of living, I bet I can't even become pregnant since I'm a fucking corpse that can walk. I think that's a good thing since I can't be pregnant... right? Isn't that what guys think these days? Maybe I'm useful in some way... But, I still can't even look at myself in the mirror for a full second, because I'm staring into the face of a dead person. I can't do that, so why would anyone else bother to even take one glimpse at me? I think I like that, not being looked at. So people's eyes don't hurt when they look at me. Which is good, I don't want to hurt anyone else anymore.

Maybe I have some kind of heart... but it's not good enough. Because both Nic and Shanty hate me ever since Seth decided to drug Nic and I. I understand why they would detest me... because of me, Nic's and Kaiya's relationship is weaker, and I'm doubting that Shanty likes me at all... even though he came back. I don't get what Seth's deal is. Why would he do that? He's trying to make me love him in the worst way possible... why can't he just go find another girl? She'd be way better than me. Then the drugging wouldn't have happened in the first place... but it did make me see something. I saw that Shanty thinks that I'm weak. He's only called me "badass" once but... most of the other times, like when he was going to Sudan he also said I was weak. Weaker than Kaiya. He talks about her a lot... which is why I can't believe that he really doesn't care about Kaiya. He talks about how smart she is when he has the chance to, and how strong she is, too. I often have to fight an urge to tell him to stop talking about her. But when I'm with Nic he doesn't talk about Kaiya much... he seems more concerned about me more than Shanty is, actually. Sometimes I wonder if I should have chosen Nic... But what would happen if I chose him? I hate comparing anyone to him... but Shanty seems like Seth. He would kill to get what he wants. Because he almost killed Nic that one night when Nic disguised himself as a chef, it gave me shivers up my spine when I saw Shanty and Nic fighting. They looked exactly like Dave and Seth.

And here I thought I wouldn't make the same mistake again. But my past is looking so much like my future. Except for one thing, which is me choosing the "Seth" of this future. But I'm still feeling a tug at me to be with Nic, because he does love me as much as Shanty does, maybe even more. He just shows his love for me differently... Nic is with Kaiya though, so he wouldn't want to be with me. He has the better girl. So he should be happy as he is, and I should just stay isolated from everyone so they can be happy too.

Which is why I'm staying in my room alone and quietly singing. I have nothing else to do but sing. I don't even look at anything. I just sit on my bed and close my eyes and sing, hoping that someone would come in my room and just finish me off. But... another part of me wants to live, so I can suffer for all of the people I have hurt. Feeling the hunger and emotional pain...
After I'm done doing the only thing I can do anymore, I think to myself.

"Who am I?"

--

Welp. This hit me right in the feels while I was looking at the picture, writing this, and listening to [link] , [link] , and [link]

But anyways, ;///; I decided to draw this sad thing because I wanted to show how Seiko was feeling at the moment. I think I messed up on the hair, while attempting to do what I did with Mary's portrait.

The depressive one Seiko belongs to:

Kaiya and Shanty belongs to:

Nic belongs to: