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JomoOval — Fugaia - Lubo Chapter 1 Cover

Published: 2015-04-08 06:43:02 +0000 UTC; Views: 1651; Favourites: 25; Downloads: 0
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Description Fugaia - Lubo Volume 1 Cover

Next Chapter
Dracmore's Revenge

Next Page
Lubo Chapter 1 Page 1

Commentary:
I've been working on this all last week. And now here it is!
The beginning of my official revamp of a comic I started in 2009 on line paper.

Old Cover from 2013
Fugaia - Lubo Chapter 1 Cover

The series cover Title was made entirely in Inkscape
As well as the Jomo Logo, the text and the lineart.
The coloring, moon, sun and shading was done in Sai
I'll be using vector graphics for covers from now one.
For the other pages, I'll be doing the lineart in Sai like I normally do.

I had trouble coming up of where to put the title of the chapter.
These are two other ideas I had sta.sh/223iatorj8k6?edit=1
Eventually I choose this one.
Related content
Comments: 13

KonradoCirilo [2015-04-13 06:20:40 +0000 UTC]

Overall

Vision

Originality

Technique

Impact


(I apologize if I sound extremely grumpy pants, this is going to be a somewhat harsh review)
Things that need improvement.
1. The light is soft and the shadows on the figures are hard. This stylistic difference makes it look like you found the moon background on Google images and then drew your characters over it. I would either simplify the moon or add detail to the main characters. This will make it more harmonious.
2. The figures in the center aren't anchored. It looks like they're floating in space. Have a platform or box (not literally) for them.
3. Too many flashes of colour (that aren't being used effectively). All of the moons (and the chest of the main figure) are brighter than the rest of the page. Because of this, the viewer's eye will follow it. Now because English readers read from left to right, it will feel more natural if components of design are displayed the same way.
Here is the way to use eye movement to make a design
www.vanseodesign.com/blog/wp-c…
Here is the eyemovement of your design
sta.sh/0636yizlly8
If you decide to redesign the cover, keep this in mind.
4. The orange of 'Day' in the tagline is arbitrary. You did a good job with night, it has the same colour as 'L' in Lubo. This consistency will make the design more harmonious.
5. Your logo and the info at the bottom are too big. Shrink them down.
6. Why is there a sun behind your logo?
7. Placing 'by Jordan Vaughn' under your logo suggests that you've made a comic called 'Jomo'. Although readers will obviously not think that, I would choose a different placement for the credits and the logo.
8. Nothing is happening. Good comic covers either should have the character be in a good pose (displaying a strong emotion like pride, sadness, confidence) or have the character doing something (relevent to the plot) like looking for treasure or something.
The concept with the shadow person (I don't know what he is, I haven't read your comic yet) seems interesting, but you should play around with it. Choose the emotion/feeling you want to display, and try to create a concept that plays to that emotion/feeling.
Is the person angry at the shadow person?
Is the person sad because of what the shadow person has done?
Is the shadow the person's inner demon?

Right now you have a confused guy with his silhouette behind him. I don't know what's happening.

Suggestions (nitpicks). More subjective to my personal taste.
1. Make the 'Night' in the tagline, then pants of the main figure and 'Lubo'. Be the same colour. This will make it more harmionious (as I said before).
2. Choose a more creative tagline. "A difference like day and night" seems hetero and old. A tagline should be impactful and powerful. It's the first text that the viewer reads. If it's boring, then reader may not bother looking at the first page. I would either work on a new one, find someone else to write a tag line or scrap (less is more).
2. You have two covers fighting eachother, the moon and the main character would both work by themselves, but together they're fighting for attention.
A. (my favourite solution, so it goes first) if you decide (and you should) get this translated to Japanese, I would have one cover for one language and the other cover for the other as an alternate. Or have main English cover, and then an alternate. They do this a lot in the comic book industry.
B. Mute one of the elements. Either grey out the moon to make it more translucent, or dull out the characters to let the moon shine upon them.
3. Is the 'Rated 13+' necessary? If it's graphic, warn us. If it's not, then who cares? Only add this if it's necessary, like you're selling it a fair or something where there're a lot of parents.
4. Perhaps changing the main characters to a differen style. I.e. make them more realistic, choose a medium (oil painting, coloured pencil), flat design. The design of the characters on the cover do not have to be the same design of the actual pages. This is where you can put a lot of work into it and because you only have to design it once every issue and it's the cover, you're not spending a whole lot of time on it.
Look at these
static02.mediaite.com/themarys…
www.ehabaref.com/blog/wp-conte…
static02.mediaite.com/themarys…

These don't have the same style as the actual comic, but they're fun and powerful.

Over all:
I like the concept of the design, but it has a few issues. If I were to judge the comic based on the cover alone, I would not read it. Too many elements and little harmony. Keep the concept, but change the design.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

DJcroc2016 [2016-01-08 06:59:03 +0000 UTC]

Actually they're not that different when you think about it S:

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

JomoOval In reply to DJcroc2016 [2016-01-08 07:00:32 +0000 UTC]

Heh

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

iAmBleuMajor [2015-08-17 13:02:24 +0000 UTC]

Seems like an interesting enough story. I'm reading it right now.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

JomoOval In reply to iAmBleuMajor [2015-08-17 13:10:33 +0000 UTC]

Hopefully I'll have more pages soon. Still getting the hang of digital comics.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

iAmBleuMajor In reply to JomoOval [2015-08-17 13:28:12 +0000 UTC]

Ah cool. Let me know if you need anything.

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KonradoCirilo [2015-04-13 06:31:59 +0000 UTC]

Did not mention the first cover page.
overall, improvements however I think the volume/chapter placement is better in the first one. 
_____________________

Now to actually read the comic! 
*reads comic*
Seem interesting.
I would critiquet them but they're over a year old and you've definately improved on your drawing skills (though I have yet to taste your writing skills). Do you have the story written out? (Or at least a bulleted form of the plot?) 

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

JomoOval In reply to KonradoCirilo [2015-04-13 07:15:10 +0000 UTC]

Yeah I'm not looking for critiques on old work -w-;
I should disable critiques for those.

And yes, I have summaries written out for the first 50 chapters.
And for the first 3 chapters, I've written detailed scripts for them.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Drunk-On-Cake [2015-04-08 17:01:11 +0000 UTC]

looks cool!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

JomoOval In reply to Drunk-On-Cake [2015-04-08 17:04:32 +0000 UTC]

Thanks

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JuiceWolf96 [2015-04-08 09:04:45 +0000 UTC]

I can't wait for it I like the cover <3

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

JomoOval In reply to JuiceWolf96 [2015-04-08 17:05:01 +0000 UTC]

Thanks. I'll be starting the first page soon hopefully

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

JuiceWolf96 In reply to JomoOval [2015-04-08 18:37:53 +0000 UTC]

That's great <3 I really wanna read it

👍: 0 ⏩: 0