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JOSHRAMBO123 β Schatten
#creepy #creepypasta #creepypastacreepy #creepypastaoc #creepypastacreepypasta #creepypastaoriginalcharacter
Published: 2017-04-04 22:10:07 +0000 UTC; Views: 580; Favourites: 25; Downloads: 0
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Description
This is my creepypasta OC Schatten. He is a mysterious Entity who possesses humans bodies and controls them while having them wear a sinister, grinning mask .The main human he currently possesses is James Victor. I would give more details about my character but I'll do that on something else XDRelated content
Comments: 38
ok i just cant stop laughing at the name XD
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XD it's the German word for Shadow XD
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Jeff Gray: Ah, Mr. Schatten! So good to see you!
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Schatten- An Honor to see you too Mr. Gray! ((XD)
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I did give him new clothes recently which u can look at XD I did still keep the mask because I felt it was one of the creepiest and coolest things about his appearance XD
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i love the mask so muchΒ
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Agreed XD he has a lovely smile XD
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I really don't know why anything scares me now, some of my friends got scared of this....I cannot apparently
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Oh XD but at least I know he scared some people which means he is doing his job XD I haven't been getting scared of anything lately either :/ XD
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I think you should stay away from the proxy deal. Make him his own thing. you'll get so much shit for making a proxy and giving it inhuman characteristics. theres not anything scary about a proxy any ways " mindless puppet" as id like to call it. i wouldn't really make much sense Β making aΒ character an entity and a proxy...lol and as I've stated you should definitely pick entity only. The mind control deal...I love it! its unique! but "having THEM wear a mask..." i find that a bit unusual and i think you should get rid of it. it feels like filler. almost like you didn't know what you were doing.(we don't want that)
Β I think you might want to reconsider designing this character wearing a hoody and a jacket over it. (It is very cliche and boring) Β a cloak would work well with the face of the character! One that goes down to the ground and covers his body. i feel if you're going to give this character a mask you will need a reason for them to wear it. Maybe he is like Jason V. and hates showing his face.Β Also, going back to the cloak deal, you will also need a good reason as to why he wears it. a good idea to consider would be that his body is misshapen or looks mangled underneath. it could be rotten looking.
might sound like this.
Schatten- A mysterious entity who wears a cloak that covers its entire body. This creature has the ability to control the minds of the creatures around him.
you dont have to do anything i just told you to. it was only a suggestion to help you make more original characters.
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Btw I just wanted to thank you for these critiques. They really help me know what I could do to make something better. Also I'm going to give him changes to his possessed human design. He will wear a black military style long trench coat, no black hoodie. Leather gloves, black combat boots, black pants, ammunition and pouches on his belt and some on his boot. He will have smoke grenades as well. Another thing I will keep is the mask because I like its design and it just makes whoever he possesses more creepy and mysterious. Also he wants whoever he possesses to seem none human, and also the effects of him possessing someone changes there eyes, there skin would look more dead . This is just what I came up with
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Also he probably won't be a proxy he will just be an entity, but does work with other entity's , mostly Slender
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Another thing is this isn't his demon form, just what it looks like when he possesses a human . But yeah I'll post more info on him.
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He does have his true form which sounded more like how you described since he wears a cloak. The mask the reason why he has them to wear it is so who ever he possesses will be anonymous from being known . He does wear a trench coat over his hoodie as well.
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Another thing is before I made him a entity who possesses, he was just a insane cliched proxy in a mask . I'm glad I made him a entity . Also I haven't shown all information about him and I think you will like the character when I show more of his backstory.
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he's really cool looking and creepy at the same time
The Rose : oh hi your a proxy too ?
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Ikr he is awsome and creepy XD
Schatten: Indeed
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would you like to rp ? and
can i add him a friend / allie to her bio ?
The Rose : cool ^^Β
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Sure You can do that
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Your welcome can I ask a favor pwease draw laughing jack-puppy eyes- if you have time that is
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Can I hug you friend needs to ask incase you don't want one :3 I always give my friends hugs
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