HOME | DD

Description
I just keep moving on every day,
but nothing is ever really okay.

I’ve been high, I’ve been drunk,
I’ve been down on my knees.
I’ve been praying for answers.
Won’t you answer me please?

I don’t know what’s in store.
One door closes, two more.
Brown floods of emotion,
the rain hits my floor.

I greet the darkness now,
as it enters my mind.
It’s strangulation, familiar,
its strength draining mine.

As objects around me,
mold into her face.
The darkness and I,
resuming our race.

We search for a reason.
To live or to die?
That is the question,
what’s forgotten is why,

when she got up and left,
she left her shadow behind her.
You can’t hold them,
yet they’ll be a constant reminder,

of the time that you lost,
that there’s no getting better,
that the void in your heart,
will remain there forever.

No contrition, nor penance,
no remorse, nor repentance,
can save you’re damned heart,
from its eternal sentence.

Even your mind,
intellectual and smart,
is but one mungts a million,
when debating your heart.

You convince and devise,
you can argue appeals,
but nothing will change,
what the heart truly feels.

Why is it you pushed her?
Why’d you just let her fall?
Why’d she hold you so long?
Did she love you at all?

The what’s and the whys,
keep clouding my thoughts.
The darkness is winning,
as it tells me its plots.

Jump off this, hang from that,
drown in this, shoot with that.
When I’m gone it’s for real,
it’s no trick from a hat.

What keeps me alive,
what keeps me from dying,
is nothing more than the image,
of her tears, and her crying.

Alas not for me,
for she Loves someone else.
I’m long past my chance,
to come off the shelf.

Yet the thought of her sadness,
of her pain and her sorrow,
remains reason enough,
for another tomorrow.

Another day of my wishing,
I would have just died before...
Another day of this pain...
I can’t take anymore!

This is it and I’ll do it!
why’ve I not done it yet?!
When my brains are exploding,
her face will stain the carpet.

My head will finally be free,
from the parasite, so appealing.
It will be free of anything,
of all the thoughts, and all the feeling.

I will have peace at last,
at last peace I will hold,
and I embrace the darkness,
now as a warmth in the cold.