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Published: 2012-07-16 06:05:15 +0000 UTC; Views: 667; Favourites: 14; Downloads: 10
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Description
Boards I made for the bronytoons fan short "Magic the Traveling" alongside Phoe of EQD fame. This is effectively the first finished set of storyboards I've ever done so I'm sure I break all the rules or whatver. So in an effort to better myself, I'm leaving this open for review! Say whatever you like, and critique as hard as you can, hold nothing back.If that's okay with you.
Hasbro's IP belongs to Hasbro.
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Comments: 6
Vision is amazing, it's just such a great idea! Although, I swear I've seen something similar somewhere else... I just can't put my finger on it. Anywho, for a first storyboard, it was done quite well. And boy, did it make me laugh!
I've got to say, this is a fantastic idea! From top to bottom, I was massively entertained with how Twlight's little adventure plays out! It was very, very funny! XD If you could get this animated well, I'm sure it would be something in every Brony's hard drive! Certainly got me sold!
Although, that part with Trixie's extreme closeup on her face seems a bit odd, because it seems like she might do something later in the story, from her expressions, but apparently not.
Also, with Twilight in that bar (or whatever it was, that scene with the two ponies conversing) I don't get how she finishes her word if she teleported away. Just nitpicking here.
And, one more thing, in the final scene, what is Lyra's last expression meant to be? I love how she was happy, and her look of innocence afterwards, but why (and what) is that last expression?
As for the storyboard itself, the expressions were very dynamic, as were the pose, I loved it so much! The handwriting could use a little work (I had to squint every now and then to read) but isn't the highest priority.
Overall, good job! I really think this would be a great animation if done well, the timing of the scenes are probably a big factor here.
Once again, kudos. I hope that you got tons of comments on some other website you may have posted this on, because this seems to me highly undervalued here on dA.
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I thank you very much for the kind critique. and believe it or not it has been fully animated. sucker's on youtube right now. this is not on another website, nobody seems to pay it any mind but that's no big deal. And Lyra's expressions are supposed to be she's delighted by the surprise, realizes Bon Bon is mad, and so she feigns being mad as well so as not to get in trouble. And yeah, my handwriting sucks.
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Ah, so it has been! Hmm, I don't mean offence, and I completely understand if it's an animation made by a relatively new team of animators, but it wasn't really up the scratch I expected. Although, I do heavily admire the dedication given to this. If were in that team, I would have given up long before the finished product! XD
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You and I are on the same wavelength in that area
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But I aw someone claiming it as theirs on Bronytoons video Magic The Traveling. He had a video of him making it. He claimed that they took it from him without permission
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Wow how do you make those storyboards like that 0.o
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