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Kai-Chronaius — Art trade from Nyakuro
Published: 2011-02-20 19:39:27 +0000 UTC; Views: 3122; Favourites: 40; Downloads: 104
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Description
By request of , I was to upload his half of our trade as he requires feedback and whatnot, which is why this particular deviation will be the first requesting Critique as he does not have a subscription. Art trade was to see how well he could draw a slime girl forming from a simple puddle, although making it stylish to fit my tone of slimes.Again, this is not my work. Uploaded by request for anyone who can offer critique and helping him out.
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Comments: 10
I like the sequence, it makes her look like she's 'pulling' herself out of the puddle
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I have my own idea of how a slimegirl rising from a "puddle form" should look like, and it is alot slower. That being said, I shouldn't let that affect my judgement, so here goes - it doesn't fit. First she's a serene puddle, then suddenly she almost violently pries out her form from herself in what can only be described as a action sequence, and then she yawns. It just doesn't make sense. Now, had she for example been awoken by her phone ringing, telling her she was late to a appointment of some sort, and then had she kept running it would've looked alot better. So in conclusion - the "story" needs improvement, but the rising was very talented. Tell your friend to keep practicing that and he'll go places.
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I'm keeping and eye on this xD! well the idea was to do it like nothing happens, then there's a lot of action and at the end she is just waking up. Maybe with the last panel the joke would have been a little more obvious xD! At the last one shes sticking out her tongue while winking and eye and saying "I think i've just overdid it..." (now the surprise is over 
Think of it as if you would have waked up with a lot of energy
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It did feel like some kind of joke, but incomplete. Anyway, you're very talented - keep it up!
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Thank you! 
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It took some time but yes, I noticed the flip before you told me. It's possible it would've worked better if you showed it from the side, but since all panels seem to be drawn from the same angle it would perhaps cause confusion?
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yeah, well, what would have come handy was to have done an additional panel between 5 and 6, showing how she was lifting her up "pulling" out her legs and in the 6th one show her standing on her hands completely perpendicular to the floor, but since we talk about 7 panels more or less and i'm lazy xD! i wanted to rush out things. So i've tried to do it in a 3/4 perspective, my first though though was a more action approach showing it with a 3 point perspective, but at the end it came out like this
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To be honest, this is actually part one of the sequence. There's a second page to this, but eh, I guess. I still like it :3
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