HOME | DD
kattklb101 — What Relationships Shouldn't Be
#original #triggerwarning_abusiverelationship #abusiverelationship #poetry #triggerwarning
Published: 2015-12-31 07:45:32 +0000 UTC; Views: 2337; Favourites: 13; Downloads: 0
Redirect to original
Description
Suffocating.That’s the only way I can describe it.
I got used to not breathing,
to feeling like hands were wrapped tightly around my neck.
Terrified.
That’s what I remember most about it.
I got used to threats of suicide,
of hearing his cries every time I tried to get away.
And relationships shouldn’t be like this.
Relationships shouldn’t be one-sided;
And I know now
that I was unhappy from the start,
that I didn’t want the same things he wanted.
I wanted out.
Manipulated.
That’s how I remember feeling most.
I got used to leaving,
and going back because ‘I need you, baby.’
Alone.
That’s what I remember being the most.
I got used to being pushed away when I needed help,
to being forced to deal with it on my own.
And relationships shouldn’t be like this.
Relationships shouldn’t cause tears this easily.
And I know now
exactly what I got myself into,
that I had so many opportunities to escape.
And I know now what abusive relationships are.
I know what relationships are not supposed to be:
Suffocating
Terrifying
Manipulative,
Alone.
A relationship does not entitle those emotions.
Hands are not supposed to cut off my breathing,
Suicide should not be a threat,
I was never needed,
and I don’t have to be alone.
It’s the memories of his open palm coming towards me,
It’s still hearing the desperation in his voice,
It’s his constant ‘I’m trying,’
It’s his promises of love
that still get to me.
But I learned.
I forced myself to walk away that last time,
and never go back,
never look back.
And it wasn’t only you getting hurt,
because i’m the one that’s still
suffocating, terrified, manipulated, alone.
