HOME | DD

Description
been so into scene girls these past few months. am sure you have noticed. it's actually kinda funny given that i never had a scene phase, don't dress scene now, and don't even like most scene music.. i think i just sort of appreciate the like. idk the badness of the style... like it's loud and mismatched and messy and eclectic and i dig that, i dig the imperfection. like obv it was still a beauty standard of a sort but i do feel like it's a lot different than the polished, perfect look that ppl r going for nowadays. even the fact that scene/emo/etc is so clearly, like, artificial i dig. there's no pretend natural, no pretend effortlessness, it's like.. yes i am a mess yes i did this on purpose yes i know it makes you think i'm a freak.

but again, there is the flipside in that like yeah women r always expected 2 adhere to some sort of standard. even if u can have damaged hair and foundation on your lips u still need to be skinny or you still need to have a small nose or whatever. like just because a girl is a scene queen doesn't mean she isn't still being consumed or that she isn't a slave 2 her appearance. it's just that imo it's a cooler appearance. so i did want to sort of represent that in.. visual form.

also i'm kind of externalizing my own mental illness/body image issues here i think. again, i'm no scene queen. never had a myspace and am too lazy to get coontails. BUT. well, i have a deeply fraught relationship with my reflection. and it's been a really stressful ?month? for me where i've often felt like i am losing my grip. so maybe i am this girl after all. i certainly did use my own bathroom as a reference here. idk. maybe also a bit of that jennifer's body vibe, where you are falling apart and the only thing you want is to be attractive but you're even losing your grip on that. or that classic, looking into the mirror, what am i doing, who am i, what's the point vibe. idk. was frankly channelling a lot of different ideas here.

overall i guess it's about your own self-image and its consumption / straight up mental illness

oh dont worry too much about me though, i'm not out of the woods yet and probably won't be until i get a vacation, but i am at least on my way out. i'm making my way through the trees. just feel like i wanted to be candid, even if it's incoherent. soz

Description
been so into scene girls these past few months. am sure you have noticed. it's actually kinda funny given that i never had a scene phase, don't dress scene now, and don't even like most scene music.. i think i just sort of appreciate the like. idk the badness of the style... like it's loud and mismatched and messy and eclectic and i dig that, i dig the imperfection. like obv it was still a beauty standard of a sort but i do feel like it's a lot different than the polished, perfect look that ppl r going for nowadays. even the fact that scene/emo/etc is so clearly, like, artificial i dig. there's no pretend natural, no pretend effortlessness, it's like.. yes i am a mess yes i did this on purpose yes i know it makes you think i'm a freak.

but again, there is the flipside in that like yeah women r always expected 2 adhere to some sort of standard. even if u can have damaged hair and foundation on your lips u still need to be skinny or you still need to have a small nose or whatever. like just because a girl is a scene queen doesn't mean she isn't still being consumed or that she isn't a slave 2 her appearance. it's just that imo it's a cooler appearance. so i did want to sort of represent that in.. visual form.

also i'm kind of externalizing my own mental illness/body image issues here i think. again, i'm no scene queen. never had a myspace and am too lazy to get coontails. BUT. well, i have a deeply fraught relationship with my reflection. and it's been a really stressful ?month? for me where i've often felt like i am losing my grip. so maybe i am this girl after all. i certainly did use my own bathroom as a reference here. idk. maybe also a bit of that jennifer's body vibe, where you are falling apart and the only thing you want is to be attractive but you're even losing your grip on that. or that classic, looking into the mirror, what am i doing, who am i, what's the point vibe. idk. was frankly channelling a lot of different ideas here.

overall i guess it's about your own self-image and its consumption / straight up mental illness

oh dont worry too much about me though, i'm not out of the woods yet and probably won't be until i get a vacation, but i am at least on my way out. i'm making my way through the trees. just feel like i wanted to be candid, even if it's incoherent. soz