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Description

tfw they write themselves

"I always wondered if it's more or less selfish to live your life for other people. My father killed himself when I was a child, thinking that we would live happily without him. He never considered the ripple effect of it- how his one action would multiply and amplify and affect not only us, but everyone around us- the people we came into contact with, the people they came into contact with, and so on... I learned early about the ripple effect, and how it affects everyone around me, and I decided I would never be like him, no matter how much it hurt me, I couldn't hurt anyone else like he did. But, sometimes I wonder... What would it be like to simply drive straight when the road curves?"

Full Name: Johnathan Richard Stevens
Nicknames: John, Ripple (Normally goes by Ripple)
Gender: Male
Age: 20
Height: 5'10"

Personality:

An interesting character, Ripple is extremely apathetic when it comes to himself. He's incredibly soft, quiet, and well-mannered. He doesn't give off much of a presence, despite his decent height. He's got mild depression and suicidal tendencies though he hides them very well. He's much more of a listener than a speaker, is very empathetic, and will listen to anyone and everyone. Ripple cares little for his body although he keeps in good health- injuries are generally overlooked and worked through rather than tended to. His silent nature generally throws people off or provides comfort. Very few are judged by Ripple. He knows everyone has a story, and that some, like him, prefer to keep it under wraps.

To his friends, Ripple is generally much more energetic- in his own way. On good days, he smiles and laughs and joins in their talking, although much quieter and less often. On bad days, he simply hovers, wanting the comfort a presence. Most of the time he can be found by himself, or around the horses. His quiet, soft, and unflappable nature make him an ideal candidate for working with horses who have been abused, or are skittish.

Every now and then, on bad days, Ripple feels unnecessarily angry. He tends to keep away from people on these days, afraid of lashing out and hurting someone physically or emotionally. On his truly bad days where he feels like he is simply going to yell or scream or try to break something, Ripple lets Irlando know he needs time and distance and takes one of the horses out.

When confronted with new people, Ripple can seem very antisocial. He has those he is comfortable with and those he is not, and the time it takes for him to warm to people depends on the people and how they interact with him. Often uncomfortable in large crowds. Will not drink anything alcoholic, ever. He does nothing that can be considered 'addictive' out of fear he will become addicted.

Sexual/Romantic Orientation: Sex-Positive Asexual / Demiromantic
Horse: N/A
Job: Aeropeios Handler; Rehabilitator; Handy man; Odd-jobs handler

History:

Born into a loving family consisting of his mother, father, and three older siblings, John never failed to feel love. He was the baby and, although he wasn't exactly doted upon, he never felt true want for anything. His parents raised him into a sweet, well-rounded child. He got along with his siblings for the most part, and upon reaching age 9 John was gifted with riding lessons. A horse fanatic since birth, John was ecstatic about the opportunities. He was doing small jumps within a year, his trainer being of "get them doing it while they're still unafraid" sort. However, it was a few months after he turned ten that his life changed.

John came home from school one day to find his mother home, uncommon as she worked until dark normally, and crying. He and his siblings had arrived together and were all frantic to find out what had happened. When they heard, it was a shock. That day, while at work, their father had killed himself. He was found by a coworker, too late to revive him. There was a note left, stating that his father believed they could live a happier life without him. The mood for the rest of the week was very morose, the family trying to find comfort in one another but generally unable to. They all took the rest of the week off and, in the future, it was known as 'Flood Week' due to the tears shed.

Things were never the same after his father died. John's mother was a lot more somber, not as quick to smile as she had been. There was a haunted look that would cross her face when she thought the children weren't watching, and they all knew that she wondered if it had, in some way, been her fault. His older siblings were similarly affected, quieter. One of his older brothers began acting out by way of drinking and getting into fights at school. As John watched, his family seemed to splinter in small ways. Although he had a dream where his father promised he was okay, and better, John woke up feeling betrayed. His father claimed to be better, but anyone looking at their family could not say the same.

Due to his father's death, John was able to see how one event could affect many. His mother's work suffered, his siblings carried the weight around them during school, and it passed on from person to person. Although he had never been a very loud child to begin with, John got to the point of being nearly selectively mute. He barely spoke during school, and said almost nothing at home.

Growing up in his house was different. Riding was the one place he could still find some pleasure. When he got into high school, four years after his father's death, his brother's legacy lived on. Students and teachers alike were aware of his last name, and who he was related to. John was judged before he had stepped foot in a classroom, and it was then that he became known as 'Ripple'. It was during high school that he began to fear his mind. As the classes grew more and more difficult, his family splintering off to try and escape the oppressive feeling of the house leaving Ripple almost completely alone with his mother, his brain began to feel as though it was collapsing. When things would get too difficult he would find himself fantasizing about his father, and what his spirit must be doing. He would look at his wrists and consider the best way to go. Although several plans went through his mind, Ripple never even considered preforming the act of suicide. He had seen first hand how it had almost destroyed his family, and he could not bear to cause them more pain.

That realization affected the rest of his high school career. He began to become more and more apathetic towards life. There was no reason for him to be interested in anything, he knew, when anything he did would affect someone else. His only reason for living was for those around him, and not out of love but out of responsibility. He could not stand putting them through the pain of losing another loved one, losing the baby of the family.

Although he graduated high school with Advanced Honors, Ripple felt discontent with life. College did not click with him, and going away made him panic a little. His mother had finally perked up but Ripple worried constantly that something would happen and she would return to her previous ways. Lessons had continued up until college, when it became too difficult and expensive to take them. Although he had finally found something of a life for himself at college, Ripple still felt tied to living because others needed him to, and not because he wanted to.

Some way or another, he wound up at the Gloaming Craig. He is, in some ways, like a ghost himself. Ripple is very quiet when moving and does not interact much with visitors. He hardly leaves the Palisade, finding comfort in the shadows around him. Although he has gotten better at managing it, Ripple still has bad days when he feels as though he simply wants to be gone. And still, the only thing that keeps him alive is the thought of "What would happen if I killed myself? Who would be affected?". Ripple does not live for himself, but for everyone he knows instead, afraid to let them down or upset them.

Extra:
♦Ripple has never been to therapy- he has more or less self-diagnosed himself with depression and suicidal tendencies. When he lived at home he was too afraid to admit to his mother and family that he suffered from them, and by the time he moved out for school he had simply gotten used to not letting anyone know.
♦Ripple carries a lot of elements from both myself and my own family, and as such there are ways that he resembles myself as well as my family. He's a very 'close to home' oc.
♦He often looks at his wrists and just reminds himself that they are clear of self-inflicted scars and will stay that way.
♦His theme is, more or less, the entire 'Black Parade' album by MCR (www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1GL9m… )

Character, Art, Etc © KelpieMomma

Description

tfw they write themselves

"I always wondered if it's more or less selfish to live your life for other people. My father killed himself when I was a child, thinking that we would live happily without him. He never considered the ripple effect of it- how his one action would multiply and amplify and affect not only us, but everyone around us- the people we came into contact with, the people they came into contact with, and so on... I learned early about the ripple effect, and how it affects everyone around me, and I decided I would never be like him, no matter how much it hurt me, I couldn't hurt anyone else like he did. But, sometimes I wonder... What would it be like to simply drive straight when the road curves?"

Full Name: Johnathan Richard Stevens
Nicknames: John, Ripple (Normally goes by Ripple)
Gender: Male
Age: 20
Height: 5'10"

Personality:

An interesting character, Ripple is extremely apathetic when it comes to himself. He's incredibly soft, quiet, and well-mannered. He doesn't give off much of a presence, despite his decent height. He's got mild depression and suicidal tendencies though he hides them very well. He's much more of a listener than a speaker, is very empathetic, and will listen to anyone and everyone. Ripple cares little for his body although he keeps in good health- injuries are generally overlooked and worked through rather than tended to. His silent nature generally throws people off or provides comfort. Very few are judged by Ripple. He knows everyone has a story, and that some, like him, prefer to keep it under wraps.

To his friends, Ripple is generally much more energetic- in his own way. On good days, he smiles and laughs and joins in their talking, although much quieter and less often. On bad days, he simply hovers, wanting the comfort a presence. Most of the time he can be found by himself, or around the horses. His quiet, soft, and unflappable nature make him an ideal candidate for working with horses who have been abused, or are skittish.

Every now and then, on bad days, Ripple feels unnecessarily angry. He tends to keep away from people on these days, afraid of lashing out and hurting someone physically or emotionally. On his truly bad days where he feels like he is simply going to yell or scream or try to break something, Ripple lets Irlando know he needs time and distance and takes one of the horses out.

When confronted with new people, Ripple can seem very antisocial. He has those he is comfortable with and those he is not, and the time it takes for him to warm to people depends on the people and how they interact with him. Often uncomfortable in large crowds. Will not drink anything alcoholic, ever. He does nothing that can be considered 'addictive' out of fear he will become addicted.

Sexual/Romantic Orientation: Sex-Positive Asexual / Demiromantic
Horse: N/A
Job: Aeropeios Handler; Rehabilitator; Handy man; Odd-jobs handler

History:

Born into a loving family consisting of his mother, father, and three older siblings, John never failed to feel love. He was the baby and, although he wasn't exactly doted upon, he never felt true want for anything. His parents raised him into a sweet, well-rounded child. He got along with his siblings for the most part, and upon reaching age 9 John was gifted with riding lessons. A horse fanatic since birth, John was ecstatic about the opportunities. He was doing small jumps within a year, his trainer being of "get them doing it while they're still unafraid" sort. However, it was a few months after he turned ten that his life changed.

John came home from school one day to find his mother home, uncommon as she worked until dark normally, and crying. He and his siblings had arrived together and were all frantic to find out what had happened. When they heard, it was a shock. That day, while at work, their father had killed himself. He was found by a coworker, too late to revive him. There was a note left, stating that his father believed they could live a happier life without him. The mood for the rest of the week was very morose, the family trying to find comfort in one another but generally unable to. They all took the rest of the week off and, in the future, it was known as 'Flood Week' due to the tears shed.

Things were never the same after his father died. John's mother was a lot more somber, not as quick to smile as she had been. There was a haunted look that would cross her face when she thought the children weren't watching, and they all knew that she wondered if it had, in some way, been her fault. His older siblings were similarly affected, quieter. One of his older brothers began acting out by way of drinking and getting into fights at school. As John watched, his family seemed to splinter in small ways. Although he had a dream where his father promised he was okay, and better, John woke up feeling betrayed. His father claimed to be better, but anyone looking at their family could not say the same.

Due to his father's death, John was able to see how one event could affect many. His mother's work suffered, his siblings carried the weight around them during school, and it passed on from person to person. Although he had never been a very loud child to begin with, John got to the point of being nearly selectively mute. He barely spoke during school, and said almost nothing at home.

Growing up in his house was different. Riding was the one place he could still find some pleasure. When he got into high school, four years after his father's death, his brother's legacy lived on. Students and teachers alike were aware of his last name, and who he was related to. John was judged before he had stepped foot in a classroom, and it was then that he became known as 'Ripple'. It was during high school that he began to fear his mind. As the classes grew more and more difficult, his family splintering off to try and escape the oppressive feeling of the house leaving Ripple almost completely alone with his mother, his brain began to feel as though it was collapsing. When things would get too difficult he would find himself fantasizing about his father, and what his spirit must be doing. He would look at his wrists and consider the best way to go. Although several plans went through his mind, Ripple never even considered preforming the act of suicide. He had seen first hand how it had almost destroyed his family, and he could not bear to cause them more pain.

That realization affected the rest of his high school career. He began to become more and more apathetic towards life. There was no reason for him to be interested in anything, he knew, when anything he did would affect someone else. His only reason for living was for those around him, and not out of love but out of responsibility. He could not stand putting them through the pain of losing another loved one, losing the baby of the family.

Although he graduated high school with Advanced Honors, Ripple felt discontent with life. College did not click with him, and going away made him panic a little. His mother had finally perked up but Ripple worried constantly that something would happen and she would return to her previous ways. Lessons had continued up until college, when it became too difficult and expensive to take them. Although he had finally found something of a life for himself at college, Ripple still felt tied to living because others needed him to, and not because he wanted to.

Some way or another, he wound up at the Gloaming Craig. He is, in some ways, like a ghost himself. Ripple is very quiet when moving and does not interact much with visitors. He hardly leaves the Palisade, finding comfort in the shadows around him. Although he has gotten better at managing it, Ripple still has bad days when he feels as though he simply wants to be gone. And still, the only thing that keeps him alive is the thought of "What would happen if I killed myself? Who would be affected?". Ripple does not live for himself, but for everyone he knows instead, afraid to let them down or upset them.

Extra:
♦Ripple has never been to therapy- he has more or less self-diagnosed himself with depression and suicidal tendencies. When he lived at home he was too afraid to admit to his mother and family that he suffered from them, and by the time he moved out for school he had simply gotten used to not letting anyone know.
♦Ripple carries a lot of elements from both myself and my own family, and as such there are ways that he resembles myself as well as my family. He's a very 'close to home' oc.
♦He often looks at his wrists and just reminds himself that they are clear of self-inflicted scars and will stay that way.
♦His theme is, more or less, the entire 'Black Parade' album by MCR (www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1GL9m… )

Character, Art, Etc © KelpieMomma