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A yell from outside is what woke Deidara up.

"Oi, watch where yer goin', ya fucker!"

It only took seconds for the man to realize that he had just been woken up from his dream because a man on the streets, probably a drunk, had almost been hit by a horse drawn buggy.

Deidara groaned and opened one eye to see that the sun had barely risen. He supposed he could get up now and get to work early, and maybe that would make his departure that evening faster as well. But he doubted that his boss would be that kind.

Mustering whatever will he had left, Deidara sat up, his mid-back length hair messier than a pile of hay strewn about for the cows. He looked through the sheen of gold and wondered if anyone saw their world like this. Perfect and golden. Deidara just scoffed and brushed his hair back with his hand. If anyone ever said they did, they were probably thrown in an asylum to rot.

He got out of bed and headed towards his mirror so he could brush his hair properly and get it out of his face. It took a few minutes, as he was taking his time, but Deidara was mostly preoccupied with the bruise on his collarbone, wondering if it would fade anytime soon. Not like it mattered, because he would be speckled with more of those bruises soon.

After his hair was tied back in a low ponytail, a section of it hanging over his left eye, he got dressed, but actively avoided any other mottled spots he found.

Deidara's breakfast was a steamed potato from the night before and a cup of tea, the tea leaves being reused for the third time. It was simple and it got him through the day until a small lunch of an apple with some goat cheese. After breakfast, he lit a cigarette and smoked it slowly to savor the flavor, ignoring his coughing towards the end of the last pull. As soon as he was finished, he pulled on his jacket, placed a hot on top of his head and grabbed his briefcase before heading out the door.

The morning wasn't too cold for a winter day, but Deidara knew it would probably snow that night. Not too many people were out at the moment, though he knew that the streets would be crowded soon with workers heading to their jobs at the factories.

As he walked to his own job, Deidara barely smelled the smoke that always filled the air from the huge chimneys that never seemed to stop spewing the smog. He was used to it and so was everyone else in the city. But Deidara was sure, that soon, everyone in America would be used to the smell of smoke.

Deidara reached his destination sooner than expected as the sun had just started to rise over the horizon. He nearly hopped up the steps to get into the factory, knowing that if he got energized now, that he would hopefully stay that way through most of the day. He stepped in and was immediately greeted by the clang of metal with some small echoes of children with the sound of their feet joining the tumult as well.

Almost all of the children were orphans, easy to find and they were willing to work for little to nothing pay, plus they were small enough to fit in tight crevices to fix the machines. The children who actually had families were doing it to help provide income. It was a dangerous and hard job, but they were willing to do it, and even if they weren't, a small beating was enough to put them in their place.

But that wasn't Deidara's job. He was just a small bookkeeper, meant to keep track of how much money was being made, where it went, what machines needed to be fixed and what it cost. There were times when he was in charge, but he didn't feel the need to start beating children to get the job done.

He was heading to his office when he heard his name being called.

"Hey, Deidara! Deidara!"

He turned around to see a small blond boy running towards him with a smile on his face. "Yes, Naruto, un?"

The boy almost couldn't contain his joy. "I heard that Sasuke may be coming here!"

Deidara merely raised a brow. Naruto had come from an orphanage and often spoke of his friend who was there with him, but that was before they had run away and been caught by some authorities. Naruto had gotten away and managed to find a job at this factory, claiming that if he made enough money then he could find Sasuke.

But now someone must have been toying with the boy, saying that he was coming to this specific factory for Naruto. The odds were, he has already been forced to work somewhere else, and most likely died from those conditions as children did here.

Deidara wasn't one to lie, but he just pat Naruto's dirty head and gave a soft smile, saying, "That's great news Naruto. Come get me when he's here, so I can meet him, un."

The boy laughed and nodded his head enthusiastically. Deidara didn't let him dwell on his mind any further. He got into his office and put his briefcase atop of the desk before opening it. He was about to take out yesterdays papers which had to be turned in when he heard a knock at his open door.

"Iwa, you were supposed to turn in those papers last night."

The blond man looked up to see his boss standing in the doorway, looking just as pissed as always. "They're due today, un," he corrected before walking to him and handing the papers over. The man's hand brushed against his own as he took them.

"Yes, but why bother with today when I could have had them yesterday. You know I hate waiting."

Deidara almost smirked. "A shame that your detest for waiting is really just a flaw of yours, Akasuna, and nothing productive, un."

"You sound as if you don't care for your job very much, Iwa."

"But will you really fire me, un?" Deidara headed back to his desk and sat down. "Come up with a better threat, Akasuna and maybe then I'll take you seriously."

His boss's expression didn't change from it's usual deadpan as he left, closing the door as he did so.

Deidara got to work.

–

The sun was just going down when there was a knock on Deidara's office door.

"Come in, un," Deidara said as he folded a hand-written note out of view.

"Hey, Blondie, the guys are wonderin' if you wanted for go out for a fuckin' drink tonight. Kisame's buying."

Deidara shook his head, feeling the hangover from two days ago enter his memory. "No, not tonight, I have plans, un. Maybe another time," he suggested, but Hidan just groaned.

"When was the last time you fucking let loose," Hidan groused.

"Two nights ago, un," Deidara answered with a sigh. "Besides, I need to get these numbers sorted out before Akasuna has my ass."

Hidan gave a disgruntled huff. "Why don't you just ignore the fucker. No matter what we do, he's not going to be happy."

"That's right, Yu, especially if you're the one doing the work. But I don't want your piss poor work ethic be rubbed off on any of the other workers so I suggest you leave Iwa alone and go get drunk on your miserable life."

Deidara had to purse his lips to hold back his grin. Hidan became flustered and turned around to see Akasuna standing behind him, a scowl darkening his young features.

"Sir, I–"

Akasuna tilted his head towards the exit. "Leave now before I get pissed off," he ordered and Hidan did just that but not before sending Deidara a glare, probably for not warning him that their boss was standing right behind him.

"That was a bit harsh, un," Deidara commented as he messed with his pen, the steel pen point never spilling a drop of ink.

"I was only speaking the truth. He is one of the shift watchers yet all I see him do is talk with the others and beat the younger workers." Akasuna gave a sigh and ran a hand through his messy hair. In the sunset, it looked brighter than normal, like a flame. "Those brats do not come cheap."

Deidara should know as he kept track of it all. "You beginning to sound like, Taki, un," he pointed out, mentioning his previous employer who owned nearly half of the factories in the city.

Akasuna sent him a small look. "Please, I'm nowhere near as avaricious as that miser." Akasuna only owned three factories in this city, but chose this specific factory as his base of operation. "Now are you going to get your paperwork turned in on time?"

"Yes, tomorrow morning, just as promised, un."

Akasuna gave a displeased hum as he left but Deidara didn't take it to heart. He didn't care for much, but those things he did care for were held close and something he wanted to keep from ruin.

Even as the sun set, he was still working by candle light, getting ahead because he knew that he wouldn't be working at home this night. He had other plans.

As soon as he was sure it was late enough, he took out the note from before and read it over before burning it with the candle, placing it in his ash tray where his previous cigarette butts lay. He watched it burn away, the words still ingrained in his mind as well as the promise they held.

Afterwards, Deidara blew out his candle and left his office, locking it up as well as the factory. The streets were not busy except for the drunkards in the streets and the prostitutes flaunting what they had to any willing participant who had the money.

Deidara wondered if he was any different from the latter.

His walk wasn't too long and soon he ended up at an Inn that didn't ask questions and kept their lips shut for a dollar. Deidara already knew the room number and headed to it, ignoring any sounds he heard from any other rooms as he passed by. He knocked on the door, and it was opened a moment later, allowing him inside.

Almost immediately he was pressed against the closed door, a mouth sucking on his neck as hands fumbled with his jacket, going for his shirt and pulling.

"I swear that if you rip the buttons off again, I'll– Agh! Don't bite, un!"

"Not like you've ever minded before."

"Yes, but I've just realized I'm not an expert sewer and that my pockets are almost always empty, not filled to the brim like yours probably are, un."

"If you're talking this much, I must not be doing a good job."

Deidara scoffed. "We've barely just started," he said into the man's messy hair.

"Then let's get started, Deidara."

This was his routine once a week, sometimes even more. After work, when the sun had set for more than three hours, he would go to an inn, usually a different one from before, and meet his lover there. Their relationship was automatically taboo, as they were both men, but that did not dissuade them.

They would still go to a random inn and delve in each other's bodies. Deidara would find himself covered in more bruises that he accepted in gusto. They would become naked and lay on the bed to admire each others bodies. Hands would roam and Deidara wouldn't be surprised to find oil covered fingers prod at his entrance. Only when there was pain would he pull away from kissing his lover's skin to gasp in the hot air, before kisses were applied to his face and neck.

Deidara turned his head to catch his lover's lips, but he pulled away before he could reach him before continuing to scissor his fingers inside of him. Deidara's toes curled at the sensation. It was in no time that the fingers were removed and he was flipped over onto his stomach. He automatically got onto his hands and knees and not a moment later he felt the blunt head of his lover's erection stab into him.

He entered him in one rough thrust and Deidara lost any air left in his lungs at that point, the pain strong enough to make him fall to his elbows, his forehead against the sheet. It was worth it, he told himself. All of this was worth it because soon the pain would turn into a mix of pleasure until all he could see was white.

His lover's thrusts were harsh as he set out a punishing rhythm, nails digging into Deidara's hips and the blond had to bite his bottom lip to keep back his cries. There was never a moment when he could actually let loose, when he could allow all of these noises to come out, but one day he wished he could. He wished that he could live with his lover and be with him all the time, but the wish was absurd and he never dared to speak it allowed. Though he could imagine it as he was taken roughly.

Sometimes he wished that they would make love and not just fuck; that he had an actual right to call this man his lover, but he didn't know what else to call him. He wished husband was an option, but it wasn't.

As Deidara was nearing completion, his lover pulled out from his body and Deidara keened at the loss, looking back at him with a small glare. But the man continued to act as he turned Deidara over again and spread his legs to thrust back in. Deidara threw his head back as the man hit that spot inside of him that made him let out quiet moans.

His lover chuckled and held his hips so he could thrust more fully. Deidara couldn't wrap his legs around him very well this way, and it made him feel so out of control, but this submission is what made him reach his zenith like no other thing ever could. He didn't even have to touch himself as he came across his chest, his lover chuckling as he soiled himself.

Deidara would be angry if he weren't in such a blissful state. He rocked his hips along with his lover's rhythm, encouraging him to finish as well.

"Come on, Danna, you're usually done by now, un," he taunted lazily and that earned him a rough thrust, making him wince and hiss.

"Really brat, because you finished rather quickly," his lover panted out as his thrusts sped up and Deidara gasped with him until he was finally filled with warmth.

They stayed like this for what felt like a century to Deidara and he also wished it would be that long. But soon, his lover pulled out from him and lay next to him, still panting and not touching. He wasn't very touchy after sex and Deidara had always wanted for that to change as well.

A minute passed and once Deidara's breathing had returned to normal, he got up, ignoring the feeling of semen running down his leg. It wasn't like the inn provided any tissues. He went to his pants and got out the small case that held his cigarettes and matches. He lit one quickly and inhaled the smoke, feeling his nerves that had been on edge since he arrived, finally relax.

He walked back to the bed and offered a puff to the man still resting on it, but he declined.

"Those things age you terribly," he muttered as he sat up to lean against the headboard. "They're death sticks." He always said that.

Deidara shrugged and pulled the blanket over his body as he was beginning to cool, due to lack of body heat. "Not like you're getting any younger, Sasori, un."

Sasori scoffed, no amusement on his face as he also got under the sheets. "Plus they suppress one's appetite and when you do that, you have no energy."

Deidara nearly mentioned that he almost always went without dinner. Instead, he scooted closer to his lover and puffed a plume of smoke at him. "You should be used to it with how many people smoke around you, Akasuna, un."

Sasori waved the smoke away and scowled at him. Deidara knew he hated being called that here, where they were supposed to be free from society. "Those old bastards will be dead sooner, then I can take their jobs."

Deidara smirked and inhaled deeply once more, but didn't blow any at his lover again. He still took the luxury of leaning against him as they rested, preparing for round two.

–

Deidara woke up in the dark to the sound of clothes ruffling. He didn't need to see to know that Sasori was getting dressed and leaving. The man never stayed the whole night and usually left for home around three in the morning. Sometimes, Deidara wished he knew where his lover lived but the man told him that it wouldn't be safe for them to know that about each other. He was right, because if Deidara had that information he would probably try to worm his way into Sasori's life further.

Deidara still sat up, feeling every ache in his body as he stretched. "Why not stay the night, un?" Deidara asked as he saw Sasori pulling up his pants and buckling up his belt.

"It's no longer night," Sasori replied easily. Deidara expected it because the man almost never deviated from his answers.

Deidara sighed and stood up, almost limping as he made his way over to his lover before throwing his arms around his shoulders and leaning his forehead against his own arm.

"Then how about a kiss, un?" He suggested.

Sasori kissed his shoulder, taking a moment to bite gently before pulling away.

Deidara just hummed and looked up at him. "And how about on lips?"

Sasori relaid the response he always gave. "Those are for marriage."

It nearly hurt every time he said it, but Deidara was used to it by now. He still leaned in and pecked his lover's lips even though the man didn't respond. They would never marry and Deidara wasn't entirely sure if Sasori was mocking him, or if he was so old-fashioned that he didn't believe in kisses before marriage. Even though they had done far worse.

After the less-than-passionate kiss, Deidara went back to bed for a few more hours of rest before he had to head home to change for work.

Sasori usually took care of the bill at the inn and Deidara wasn't one to complain. The only thing Deidara could really complain about was that he wished he could be with Sasori all the time with no fear or prejudice to follow. Another thing he wished for was that Sasori wished the same thing as him.

A week later, Deidara was brought into Sasori's office which was always immaculate and organized, nothing like his at this time of day when he was at his busiest.

"You wanted to see me, un?" He asked as Sasori looked back and forth between five papers laid out on his desk.

"Yes, I need you to run these down to these letters down to the post office right now, they have to reach the factory in Chicago as soon as possible." Sasori then held out a handful of envelopes and Deidara eyed them with distaste.

"I am not your mail courier, un," he replied evenly, having no intention of actually running Sasori's errands like his secretary.

"No, of course not, my courier would never talk back to me," Sasori replied as he finally looked up from his paperwork, staring at Deidara with those brown bedroom eyes that made a shiver run up the blond's spine.

A moment later, Deidara snatched the envelopes from Sasori's light grip. "I expect compensation for this, un," he said, his voice very even, a hidden meaning slinking around in his words.

Sasori almost smirked. "Of course, now get out, Iwa."

Deidara took his time as he walked across the city. It didn't snow the night before as he had expected, but little flurries began falling from the sky as he walked now. He hadn't seen snow in about three years but it still had him slightly breathless as he watched it.

He found it ironic that the only way it could "survive" was to land atop of the already fallen, and melting snow, clinging to each other until it was covered, sheet, after sheet. But at the moment, none of it stuck very well and it just melted as it touched the slightly damp ground. He liked watching them disappear, finding beauty in their fleeting existence.

It was around ten minutes later when Deidara saw a little girl in the street, perhaps at the age of five, admiring the snow as he was, but staring up at the sky in reverence, brown eyes wide. Deidara thought that she looked cute while doing so, even though he had no affinity for children, he did for people who knew well to admire things so transient.

Deidara looked away, no longer interested in the girl until he heard someone yell from nearby. He turned around to see that a horse-drawn carriage was headed towards the girl, who just now realized where she was standing.

Her rosy cheeks turned pale in fear and Deidara didn't even notice that he dropped the letters to get her out of the street, he just ran to her and pulled her towards him and continued running out of the way. His heart was beating so quickly, that he imagined the girl could hear it as well, but at the moment, all he heard was a woman screaming something.

"Hitomi!"

Deidara loosened his arms as he felt the child in them struggle to get free. She ran away from him and towards a woman who strongly resembled her down the street. She had long, chocolate curls and was dressed in a warm coat and a more extravagant dress than Deidara was used to seeing. She probably came from a wealthy family.

"Mama!" The girl cried as she was finally in her mother's arms and Deidara's heart seemed to finally calm down. He didn't have to see a child die, but that was when he realized he was no longer holding his letters.

Swearing quietly, Deidara turned and saw that they had landed in a puddle of melted snow and he ran across the street to see if any of them were salvageable. As he picked them up, he realized that only one wasn't completely soaked but it was still probably illegible with the ink probably running.

Sasori was going to kill him.

Frowning deeply, Deidara sighed and held the letters anyway. He would have to bring them back to his boss and be reprimanded there, because he doubted he could just throw them away and get away with it.

He was walking away when he heard someone yelling for him.

"Wait! Young man, excuse me!"

Deidara stopped and found the woman from before following him, this time with her daughter's hand firmly held in her grip.

"Yes, un?" he asked, not sure what the woman wanted with him.

She appeared out of breath, her face becoming slightly flushed though gratitude was written all over her face as she grinned widely at him. "Thank you so much for saving my daughter from that carriage. I had just turned around for a moment and she was gone and–" she stopped, as if thinking about it was too terrible. Deidara assumed for that mothers it was. "I do not know how I can repay you," she said, sounding so eager to help him when all Deidara wanted to do now was steel himself up for Sasori's admonishing.

"It really was no trouble, un," he explained softly, hoping that she wouldn't keep on badgering him. "I was just helping someone who was in need of it."

He began walking away when the woman grabbed his arm. "What's your name?"

Deidara didn't fight her grasp as he answered with, "Deidara, un."

"And your last name?"

His brow furrowed as she let him go. "Iwa." What would she do with the information?

She breathed in deeply, as if content and Deidara realized just how beautiful she was, long lashes brushing over his cheeks as she blinked slowly.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Deidara Iwa. My name's Masako Akasuna and I cannot thank you enough for saving my daughter's life."

Deidara felt every hair on his body stand on edge, but he played it off as slightly surprise. "Akasuna, un? Are you perhaps related to Sasori Akasuna?"

The woman blushed lightly and a small, but bashful smile played on her thin, pink lips as she looked away for a moment. "Ah, he's my husband," she replied softly. "Do you know him?"

Deidara nodded his head as he tried to keep his expression neutral. "Of him, un... I'm sorry, but I need to get to work," he said quickly, not giving Masako a second to get another word in as he just walked past her, as quickly as he could so she wouldn't see his face.

His eyes were wide and distracted, while his face was extremely blanched and even though he tried to keep walking, he had to stop at an alleyway to get in a breather. He wanted a cigarette to calm down, but he felt too nauseated to do anything but breathe.

Husband? Sasori was married? He had a wife and a child? Was it recently, an arranged marriage? Was that why Masako appeared shy when talking about it? Why hadn't Sasori told him about this?

Why was Sasori even with him if he was married?

It was over an hour later when Deidara finally returned with the semi-dry letters. He knocked on his boss's door and heard the commanding "come in" but he wasn't fazed by it. He walked in and set the letters on the man's desk, still in his previous daze.

When Sasori saw the letters, he scowled. "What did you do to these? I asked you to turn them into the post office, not wash them, you incompetent brat," he growled as he took the letters and opened them, seeing if any of the writing was salvaged. By his expression, Deidara guessed none of it was. "Why do you even bother showing your face to me, when you know how terribly you have fucked up?"

Deidara didn't know how he was supposed to bring about the question, so he just began talking. "There was a girl in the street," he replied slowly, not looking at his lover's face. "She was admiring the snow, un."

"I don't care about some girl, I want to know why–"

"A carriage was coming and I was moving as quickly as I could to get her out of the way. I did," Deidara said, his voice slightly brighter. "But the letters were dropped in the process, un."

Sasori's scowl had turned into a glare. "I don't care for your excuses, Iwa."

"Her mother saw what I had done and thanked me profusely, un." Deidara looked up to see Sasori's expression was just as pissed as he thought it would be. "She wanted my name, so I gave it to her and in return she gave me hers. Do you know who Masako Akasuna is?"

Sasori's countenance didn't change in the slightest. "Yes, she's my wife, what does that have to do with how royally you've fucked up?"

Deidara's anger had come out of nowhere at that point. "Well then when were you going to tell me that you were fucking married, un?! You've been sleeping with me for the past two years and you never thought to fucking mention that you had a wife and child?!"

Sasori was almost taken aback and he stood up, but Deidara wasn't sure if it was supposed to calm him or not. "What do they have to do with that?"

Deidara's eyes were wide as he realized that Sasori didn't find a problem in what they were doing. "You've been lying to me, Sasori, un. You've been fucking me and you're a married man. Do you consider me your mistress, un? Someone you're able to sneak off to when your wife can no longer satisfy you?"

"Of course not," Sasori replied. "You're not even a woman, so the fact that you're calling yourself–"

"That's not the point, Sasori, un," Deidara interrupted, speaking with clenched teeth. "The point is, is that we've been having an affair, one that I was not even aware of and it's wrong, un."

Sasori's brow furrowed. "And being a man who sleeps with a man isn't wrong?"

"Lying is wrong, un," Deidara replied instead. "I thought that if someone cares for another person enough that the gender does not matter. I thought that most people had a conscious and that it would prevent them from doing things that aren't morally right, un?"

Sasori scoffed and sat back down which just made Deidara's anger spike. He didn't care, did he?

"I am not the first man to have had an affair, Deidara and if you think that I am, then there is something wrong with your mind. Is there anything else you want, besides to apologize for the letters you've ruined?"

Deidara couldn't believe that Sasori didn't seem to care at all. He didn't hesitate to leave Sasori's office as quickly as possible, stopping by his office for just a moment to grab his briefcase, before heading home.

Didn't Sasori love his family? His marriage? Did he love Deidara?

Deidara had already guessed the answer to the last one, but the first two still seemed too unclear and the blond wasn't sure if he wanted to find out.

–

It was ten o'clock and Deidara was contemplating on whether or not he should still see his lover for their routine meet up. In the beginning, Deidara had told himself that there was no way in God's green earth that he would continue sleeping with a married man, no matter what feelings he had developed for him.

Yet, it was feelings like those that made Deidara doubt his first declaration of refusing to be with Sasori. It hadn't taken long for him to grow to love Sasori, even though his feelings were never fully returned, Deidara assumed it was because of society and prejudice. But now Deidara thought it was because he had a family and wife to love as well. But if he had that, then why was he fucking Deidara?

The blond had gotten home and not done a thing but sit at his kitchen table and think of what went through Sasori's mind to consider any of this okay. He didn't seem to think that sleeping with someone other than his wife was a morally wrong, but perhaps he did know and just didn't care?

Did he care for Deidara? If he had been with him for the past two years, he must have, the blond thought to himself.

But he had been with his wife for who knew how long? He must have grown tired of her, Deidara was sure of it. And Sasori never declined sleeping with him, so Deidara still thought that he was held in a higher esteem than Masako.

This was why Deidara was contemplating on whether or not he should see Sasori, but without even thinking about it, he was heading out his front door, bracing himself against the cold and snow.

When he did arrive at the inn, he went to the room number where he knew he would find Sasori. He saw a light beneath the door and frowned. He had almost hoped he hadn't come, because now his lover would see him and know that he was just as weak as him, while he ignored his conscious.

Deidara knocked on the door and waited for it to be answered. It was a few seconds later when Sasori opened the door, his countenance more annoyed than anything.

"What the hell took you so long?"

Deidara scowled at him and stayed rooted in the hall. "I wanted to see if you really were scum and still decided to come. Now that I know that, I'm leaving, un." Yet, he made no move to leave.

Sasori deadpanned at him. "Really now? You wanted to see if I was 'scum', yet you stand here, just as filthy as I? Hypocrisy is a real thing, Deidara, I hope you know that."

"Tch," Deidara looked away, furious that Sasori was trying to make him look bad.

"Well, are you coming in, or not?" Sasori asked as he stepped aside, and even though he looked no friendlier as he had been when he opened the door, Deidara couldn't say no to him.

Even while Deidara was having his breath fucked out of him, he couldn't stop thinking. Why was Sasori doing this? Was it just for his own satisfaction or did he have some inkling of care for Deidara?

The blond didn't know and soon all he could think about was clinging to Sasori, as he took on a more punishing pace. When Sasori struck his prostate, Deidara accidentally let go of his bottom lip, letting free a moan, one so loud that his face became flushed at hearing himself.

Sasori just smirked down at him and continued to aim for that spot, and Deidara had to cover his mouth to prevent anymore sound from escaping, but Sasori just grabbed his wrist and held it to the bed, his grip hard enough to cut off circulation.

"Don't stop now, brat," Sasori said, his voice more controlling than normal and one thing that Deidara had learned about Sasori was that he loved control.

So Deidara listened to him and didn't hold back his moans, knowing he sounded like a whore, but that may be just what Sasori saw him as. The thought nearly brought tears to his eyes but he pushed it all down. It didn't matter what he thought now, because Sasori didn't care, or appear to do so.

They only had one round, Sasori claiming that it was too late to start another. Deidara expected him to leave right away, to spite him because he was heading back to his family, but he didn't and stayed in bed with Deidara.

As soon as the lights were out, Deidara curled up next to Sasori and the older male just groaned a bit before turning over and allowing Deidara to move closer.

"You're always so cuddly after sex," he complained, his voice sluggish and Deidara didn't get to hear the tone often.

Sasori's breathing had evened out a bit when Deidara asked him, "Do you care about me, Danna, un?"

Sasori's simple response was, "Don't ask stupid questions, brat." And he pulled him in close, just confusing Deidara further.

Was it a stupid question because it was obvious? That Sasori either did or did not?

Deidara frowned and closed his eyes as he let Sasori's warmth consume him. He wished that Sasori would tell him that he chose him, that he loved him. But Deidara wished many things that he knew would never come true.

Description
A yell from outside is what woke Deidara up.

"Oi, watch where yer goin', ya fucker!"

It only took seconds for the man to realize that he had just been woken up from his dream because a man on the streets, probably a drunk, had almost been hit by a horse drawn buggy.

Deidara groaned and opened one eye to see that the sun had barely risen. He supposed he could get up now and get to work early, and maybe that would make his departure that evening faster as well. But he doubted that his boss would be that kind.

Mustering whatever will he had left, Deidara sat up, his mid-back length hair messier than a pile of hay strewn about for the cows. He looked through the sheen of gold and wondered if anyone saw their world like this. Perfect and golden. Deidara just scoffed and brushed his hair back with his hand. If anyone ever said they did, they were probably thrown in an asylum to rot.

He got out of bed and headed towards his mirror so he could brush his hair properly and get it out of his face. It took a few minutes, as he was taking his time, but Deidara was mostly preoccupied with the bruise on his collarbone, wondering if it would fade anytime soon. Not like it mattered, because he would be speckled with more of those bruises soon.

After his hair was tied back in a low ponytail, a section of it hanging over his left eye, he got dressed, but actively avoided any other mottled spots he found.

Deidara's breakfast was a steamed potato from the night before and a cup of tea, the tea leaves being reused for the third time. It was simple and it got him through the day until a small lunch of an apple with some goat cheese. After breakfast, he lit a cigarette and smoked it slowly to savor the flavor, ignoring his coughing towards the end of the last pull. As soon as he was finished, he pulled on his jacket, placed a hot on top of his head and grabbed his briefcase before heading out the door.

The morning wasn't too cold for a winter day, but Deidara knew it would probably snow that night. Not too many people were out at the moment, though he knew that the streets would be crowded soon with workers heading to their jobs at the factories.

As he walked to his own job, Deidara barely smelled the smoke that always filled the air from the huge chimneys that never seemed to stop spewing the smog. He was used to it and so was everyone else in the city. But Deidara was sure, that soon, everyone in America would be used to the smell of smoke.

Deidara reached his destination sooner than expected as the sun had just started to rise over the horizon. He nearly hopped up the steps to get into the factory, knowing that if he got energized now, that he would hopefully stay that way through most of the day. He stepped in and was immediately greeted by the clang of metal with some small echoes of children with the sound of their feet joining the tumult as well.

Almost all of the children were orphans, easy to find and they were willing to work for little to nothing pay, plus they were small enough to fit in tight crevices to fix the machines. The children who actually had families were doing it to help provide income. It was a dangerous and hard job, but they were willing to do it, and even if they weren't, a small beating was enough to put them in their place.

But that wasn't Deidara's job. He was just a small bookkeeper, meant to keep track of how much money was being made, where it went, what machines needed to be fixed and what it cost. There were times when he was in charge, but he didn't feel the need to start beating children to get the job done.

He was heading to his office when he heard his name being called.

"Hey, Deidara! Deidara!"

He turned around to see a small blond boy running towards him with a smile on his face. "Yes, Naruto, un?"

The boy almost couldn't contain his joy. "I heard that Sasuke may be coming here!"

Deidara merely raised a brow. Naruto had come from an orphanage and often spoke of his friend who was there with him, but that was before they had run away and been caught by some authorities. Naruto had gotten away and managed to find a job at this factory, claiming that if he made enough money then he could find Sasuke.

But now someone must have been toying with the boy, saying that he was coming to this specific factory for Naruto. The odds were, he has already been forced to work somewhere else, and most likely died from those conditions as children did here.

Deidara wasn't one to lie, but he just pat Naruto's dirty head and gave a soft smile, saying, "That's great news Naruto. Come get me when he's here, so I can meet him, un."

The boy laughed and nodded his head enthusiastically. Deidara didn't let him dwell on his mind any further. He got into his office and put his briefcase atop of the desk before opening it. He was about to take out yesterdays papers which had to be turned in when he heard a knock at his open door.

"Iwa, you were supposed to turn in those papers last night."

The blond man looked up to see his boss standing in the doorway, looking just as pissed as always. "They're due today, un," he corrected before walking to him and handing the papers over. The man's hand brushed against his own as he took them.

"Yes, but why bother with today when I could have had them yesterday. You know I hate waiting."

Deidara almost smirked. "A shame that your detest for waiting is really just a flaw of yours, Akasuna, and nothing productive, un."

"You sound as if you don't care for your job very much, Iwa."

"But will you really fire me, un?" Deidara headed back to his desk and sat down. "Come up with a better threat, Akasuna and maybe then I'll take you seriously."

His boss's expression didn't change from it's usual deadpan as he left, closing the door as he did so.

Deidara got to work.

–

The sun was just going down when there was a knock on Deidara's office door.

"Come in, un," Deidara said as he folded a hand-written note out of view.

"Hey, Blondie, the guys are wonderin' if you wanted for go out for a fuckin' drink tonight. Kisame's buying."

Deidara shook his head, feeling the hangover from two days ago enter his memory. "No, not tonight, I have plans, un. Maybe another time," he suggested, but Hidan just groaned.

"When was the last time you fucking let loose," Hidan groused.

"Two nights ago, un," Deidara answered with a sigh. "Besides, I need to get these numbers sorted out before Akasuna has my ass."

Hidan gave a disgruntled huff. "Why don't you just ignore the fucker. No matter what we do, he's not going to be happy."

"That's right, Yu, especially if you're the one doing the work. But I don't want your piss poor work ethic be rubbed off on any of the other workers so I suggest you leave Iwa alone and go get drunk on your miserable life."

Deidara had to purse his lips to hold back his grin. Hidan became flustered and turned around to see Akasuna standing behind him, a scowl darkening his young features.

"Sir, I–"

Akasuna tilted his head towards the exit. "Leave now before I get pissed off," he ordered and Hidan did just that but not before sending Deidara a glare, probably for not warning him that their boss was standing right behind him.

"That was a bit harsh, un," Deidara commented as he messed with his pen, the steel pen point never spilling a drop of ink.

"I was only speaking the truth. He is one of the shift watchers yet all I see him do is talk with the others and beat the younger workers." Akasuna gave a sigh and ran a hand through his messy hair. In the sunset, it looked brighter than normal, like a flame. "Those brats do not come cheap."

Deidara should know as he kept track of it all. "You beginning to sound like, Taki, un," he pointed out, mentioning his previous employer who owned nearly half of the factories in the city.

Akasuna sent him a small look. "Please, I'm nowhere near as avaricious as that miser." Akasuna only owned three factories in this city, but chose this specific factory as his base of operation. "Now are you going to get your paperwork turned in on time?"

"Yes, tomorrow morning, just as promised, un."

Akasuna gave a displeased hum as he left but Deidara didn't take it to heart. He didn't care for much, but those things he did care for were held close and something he wanted to keep from ruin.

Even as the sun set, he was still working by candle light, getting ahead because he knew that he wouldn't be working at home this night. He had other plans.

As soon as he was sure it was late enough, he took out the note from before and read it over before burning it with the candle, placing it in his ash tray where his previous cigarette butts lay. He watched it burn away, the words still ingrained in his mind as well as the promise they held.

Afterwards, Deidara blew out his candle and left his office, locking it up as well as the factory. The streets were not busy except for the drunkards in the streets and the prostitutes flaunting what they had to any willing participant who had the money.

Deidara wondered if he was any different from the latter.

His walk wasn't too long and soon he ended up at an Inn that didn't ask questions and kept their lips shut for a dollar. Deidara already knew the room number and headed to it, ignoring any sounds he heard from any other rooms as he passed by. He knocked on the door, and it was opened a moment later, allowing him inside.

Almost immediately he was pressed against the closed door, a mouth sucking on his neck as hands fumbled with his jacket, going for his shirt and pulling.

"I swear that if you rip the buttons off again, I'll– Agh! Don't bite, un!"

"Not like you've ever minded before."

"Yes, but I've just realized I'm not an expert sewer and that my pockets are almost always empty, not filled to the brim like yours probably are, un."

"If you're talking this much, I must not be doing a good job."

Deidara scoffed. "We've barely just started," he said into the man's messy hair.

"Then let's get started, Deidara."

This was his routine once a week, sometimes even more. After work, when the sun had set for more than three hours, he would go to an inn, usually a different one from before, and meet his lover there. Their relationship was automatically taboo, as they were both men, but that did not dissuade them.

They would still go to a random inn and delve in each other's bodies. Deidara would find himself covered in more bruises that he accepted in gusto. They would become naked and lay on the bed to admire each others bodies. Hands would roam and Deidara wouldn't be surprised to find oil covered fingers prod at his entrance. Only when there was pain would he pull away from kissing his lover's skin to gasp in the hot air, before kisses were applied to his face and neck.

Deidara turned his head to catch his lover's lips, but he pulled away before he could reach him before continuing to scissor his fingers inside of him. Deidara's toes curled at the sensation. It was in no time that the fingers were removed and he was flipped over onto his stomach. He automatically got onto his hands and knees and not a moment later he felt the blunt head of his lover's erection stab into him.

He entered him in one rough thrust and Deidara lost any air left in his lungs at that point, the pain strong enough to make him fall to his elbows, his forehead against the sheet. It was worth it, he told himself. All of this was worth it because soon the pain would turn into a mix of pleasure until all he could see was white.

His lover's thrusts were harsh as he set out a punishing rhythm, nails digging into Deidara's hips and the blond had to bite his bottom lip to keep back his cries. There was never a moment when he could actually let loose, when he could allow all of these noises to come out, but one day he wished he could. He wished that he could live with his lover and be with him all the time, but the wish was absurd and he never dared to speak it allowed. Though he could imagine it as he was taken roughly.

Sometimes he wished that they would make love and not just fuck; that he had an actual right to call this man his lover, but he didn't know what else to call him. He wished husband was an option, but it wasn't.

As Deidara was nearing completion, his lover pulled out from his body and Deidara keened at the loss, looking back at him with a small glare. But the man continued to act as he turned Deidara over again and spread his legs to thrust back in. Deidara threw his head back as the man hit that spot inside of him that made him let out quiet moans.

His lover chuckled and held his hips so he could thrust more fully. Deidara couldn't wrap his legs around him very well this way, and it made him feel so out of control, but this submission is what made him reach his zenith like no other thing ever could. He didn't even have to touch himself as he came across his chest, his lover chuckling as he soiled himself.

Deidara would be angry if he weren't in such a blissful state. He rocked his hips along with his lover's rhythm, encouraging him to finish as well.

"Come on, Danna, you're usually done by now, un," he taunted lazily and that earned him a rough thrust, making him wince and hiss.

"Really brat, because you finished rather quickly," his lover panted out as his thrusts sped up and Deidara gasped with him until he was finally filled with warmth.

They stayed like this for what felt like a century to Deidara and he also wished it would be that long. But soon, his lover pulled out from him and lay next to him, still panting and not touching. He wasn't very touchy after sex and Deidara had always wanted for that to change as well.

A minute passed and once Deidara's breathing had returned to normal, he got up, ignoring the feeling of semen running down his leg. It wasn't like the inn provided any tissues. He went to his pants and got out the small case that held his cigarettes and matches. He lit one quickly and inhaled the smoke, feeling his nerves that had been on edge since he arrived, finally relax.

He walked back to the bed and offered a puff to the man still resting on it, but he declined.

"Those things age you terribly," he muttered as he sat up to lean against the headboard. "They're death sticks." He always said that.

Deidara shrugged and pulled the blanket over his body as he was beginning to cool, due to lack of body heat. "Not like you're getting any younger, Sasori, un."

Sasori scoffed, no amusement on his face as he also got under the sheets. "Plus they suppress one's appetite and when you do that, you have no energy."

Deidara nearly mentioned that he almost always went without dinner. Instead, he scooted closer to his lover and puffed a plume of smoke at him. "You should be used to it with how many people smoke around you, Akasuna, un."

Sasori waved the smoke away and scowled at him. Deidara knew he hated being called that here, where they were supposed to be free from society. "Those old bastards will be dead sooner, then I can take their jobs."

Deidara smirked and inhaled deeply once more, but didn't blow any at his lover again. He still took the luxury of leaning against him as they rested, preparing for round two.

–

Deidara woke up in the dark to the sound of clothes ruffling. He didn't need to see to know that Sasori was getting dressed and leaving. The man never stayed the whole night and usually left for home around three in the morning. Sometimes, Deidara wished he knew where his lover lived but the man told him that it wouldn't be safe for them to know that about each other. He was right, because if Deidara had that information he would probably try to worm his way into Sasori's life further.

Deidara still sat up, feeling every ache in his body as he stretched. "Why not stay the night, un?" Deidara asked as he saw Sasori pulling up his pants and buckling up his belt.

"It's no longer night," Sasori replied easily. Deidara expected it because the man almost never deviated from his answers.

Deidara sighed and stood up, almost limping as he made his way over to his lover before throwing his arms around his shoulders and leaning his forehead against his own arm.

"Then how about a kiss, un?" He suggested.

Sasori kissed his shoulder, taking a moment to bite gently before pulling away.

Deidara just hummed and looked up at him. "And how about on lips?"

Sasori relaid the response he always gave. "Those are for marriage."

It nearly hurt every time he said it, but Deidara was used to it by now. He still leaned in and pecked his lover's lips even though the man didn't respond. They would never marry and Deidara wasn't entirely sure if Sasori was mocking him, or if he was so old-fashioned that he didn't believe in kisses before marriage. Even though they had done far worse.

After the less-than-passionate kiss, Deidara went back to bed for a few more hours of rest before he had to head home to change for work.

Sasori usually took care of the bill at the inn and Deidara wasn't one to complain. The only thing Deidara could really complain about was that he wished he could be with Sasori all the time with no fear or prejudice to follow. Another thing he wished for was that Sasori wished the same thing as him.

A week later, Deidara was brought into Sasori's office which was always immaculate and organized, nothing like his at this time of day when he was at his busiest.

"You wanted to see me, un?" He asked as Sasori looked back and forth between five papers laid out on his desk.

"Yes, I need you to run these down to these letters down to the post office right now, they have to reach the factory in Chicago as soon as possible." Sasori then held out a handful of envelopes and Deidara eyed them with distaste.

"I am not your mail courier, un," he replied evenly, having no intention of actually running Sasori's errands like his secretary.

"No, of course not, my courier would never talk back to me," Sasori replied as he finally looked up from his paperwork, staring at Deidara with those brown bedroom eyes that made a shiver run up the blond's spine.

A moment later, Deidara snatched the envelopes from Sasori's light grip. "I expect compensation for this, un," he said, his voice very even, a hidden meaning slinking around in his words.

Sasori almost smirked. "Of course, now get out, Iwa."

Deidara took his time as he walked across the city. It didn't snow the night before as he had expected, but little flurries began falling from the sky as he walked now. He hadn't seen snow in about three years but it still had him slightly breathless as he watched it.

He found it ironic that the only way it could "survive" was to land atop of the already fallen, and melting snow, clinging to each other until it was covered, sheet, after sheet. But at the moment, none of it stuck very well and it just melted as it touched the slightly damp ground. He liked watching them disappear, finding beauty in their fleeting existence.

It was around ten minutes later when Deidara saw a little girl in the street, perhaps at the age of five, admiring the snow as he was, but staring up at the sky in reverence, brown eyes wide. Deidara thought that she looked cute while doing so, even though he had no affinity for children, he did for people who knew well to admire things so transient.

Deidara looked away, no longer interested in the girl until he heard someone yell from nearby. He turned around to see that a horse-drawn carriage was headed towards the girl, who just now realized where she was standing.

Her rosy cheeks turned pale in fear and Deidara didn't even notice that he dropped the letters to get her out of the street, he just ran to her and pulled her towards him and continued running out of the way. His heart was beating so quickly, that he imagined the girl could hear it as well, but at the moment, all he heard was a woman screaming something.

"Hitomi!"

Deidara loosened his arms as he felt the child in them struggle to get free. She ran away from him and towards a woman who strongly resembled her down the street. She had long, chocolate curls and was dressed in a warm coat and a more extravagant dress than Deidara was used to seeing. She probably came from a wealthy family.

"Mama!" The girl cried as she was finally in her mother's arms and Deidara's heart seemed to finally calm down. He didn't have to see a child die, but that was when he realized he was no longer holding his letters.

Swearing quietly, Deidara turned and saw that they had landed in a puddle of melted snow and he ran across the street to see if any of them were salvageable. As he picked them up, he realized that only one wasn't completely soaked but it was still probably illegible with the ink probably running.

Sasori was going to kill him.

Frowning deeply, Deidara sighed and held the letters anyway. He would have to bring them back to his boss and be reprimanded there, because he doubted he could just throw them away and get away with it.

He was walking away when he heard someone yelling for him.

"Wait! Young man, excuse me!"

Deidara stopped and found the woman from before following him, this time with her daughter's hand firmly held in her grip.

"Yes, un?" he asked, not sure what the woman wanted with him.

She appeared out of breath, her face becoming slightly flushed though gratitude was written all over her face as she grinned widely at him. "Thank you so much for saving my daughter from that carriage. I had just turned around for a moment and she was gone and–" she stopped, as if thinking about it was too terrible. Deidara assumed for that mothers it was. "I do not know how I can repay you," she said, sounding so eager to help him when all Deidara wanted to do now was steel himself up for Sasori's admonishing.

"It really was no trouble, un," he explained softly, hoping that she wouldn't keep on badgering him. "I was just helping someone who was in need of it."

He began walking away when the woman grabbed his arm. "What's your name?"

Deidara didn't fight her grasp as he answered with, "Deidara, un."

"And your last name?"

His brow furrowed as she let him go. "Iwa." What would she do with the information?

She breathed in deeply, as if content and Deidara realized just how beautiful she was, long lashes brushing over his cheeks as she blinked slowly.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Deidara Iwa. My name's Masako Akasuna and I cannot thank you enough for saving my daughter's life."

Deidara felt every hair on his body stand on edge, but he played it off as slightly surprise. "Akasuna, un? Are you perhaps related to Sasori Akasuna?"

The woman blushed lightly and a small, but bashful smile played on her thin, pink lips as she looked away for a moment. "Ah, he's my husband," she replied softly. "Do you know him?"

Deidara nodded his head as he tried to keep his expression neutral. "Of him, un... I'm sorry, but I need to get to work," he said quickly, not giving Masako a second to get another word in as he just walked past her, as quickly as he could so she wouldn't see his face.

His eyes were wide and distracted, while his face was extremely blanched and even though he tried to keep walking, he had to stop at an alleyway to get in a breather. He wanted a cigarette to calm down, but he felt too nauseated to do anything but breathe.

Husband? Sasori was married? He had a wife and a child? Was it recently, an arranged marriage? Was that why Masako appeared shy when talking about it? Why hadn't Sasori told him about this?

Why was Sasori even with him if he was married?

It was over an hour later when Deidara finally returned with the semi-dry letters. He knocked on his boss's door and heard the commanding "come in" but he wasn't fazed by it. He walked in and set the letters on the man's desk, still in his previous daze.

When Sasori saw the letters, he scowled. "What did you do to these? I asked you to turn them into the post office, not wash them, you incompetent brat," he growled as he took the letters and opened them, seeing if any of the writing was salvaged. By his expression, Deidara guessed none of it was. "Why do you even bother showing your face to me, when you know how terribly you have fucked up?"

Deidara didn't know how he was supposed to bring about the question, so he just began talking. "There was a girl in the street," he replied slowly, not looking at his lover's face. "She was admiring the snow, un."

"I don't care about some girl, I want to know why–"

"A carriage was coming and I was moving as quickly as I could to get her out of the way. I did," Deidara said, his voice slightly brighter. "But the letters were dropped in the process, un."

Sasori's scowl had turned into a glare. "I don't care for your excuses, Iwa."

"Her mother saw what I had done and thanked me profusely, un." Deidara looked up to see Sasori's expression was just as pissed as he thought it would be. "She wanted my name, so I gave it to her and in return she gave me hers. Do you know who Masako Akasuna is?"

Sasori's countenance didn't change in the slightest. "Yes, she's my wife, what does that have to do with how royally you've fucked up?"

Deidara's anger had come out of nowhere at that point. "Well then when were you going to tell me that you were fucking married, un?! You've been sleeping with me for the past two years and you never thought to fucking mention that you had a wife and child?!"

Sasori was almost taken aback and he stood up, but Deidara wasn't sure if it was supposed to calm him or not. "What do they have to do with that?"

Deidara's eyes were wide as he realized that Sasori didn't find a problem in what they were doing. "You've been lying to me, Sasori, un. You've been fucking me and you're a married man. Do you consider me your mistress, un? Someone you're able to sneak off to when your wife can no longer satisfy you?"

"Of course not," Sasori replied. "You're not even a woman, so the fact that you're calling yourself–"

"That's not the point, Sasori, un," Deidara interrupted, speaking with clenched teeth. "The point is, is that we've been having an affair, one that I was not even aware of and it's wrong, un."

Sasori's brow furrowed. "And being a man who sleeps with a man isn't wrong?"

"Lying is wrong, un," Deidara replied instead. "I thought that if someone cares for another person enough that the gender does not matter. I thought that most people had a conscious and that it would prevent them from doing things that aren't morally right, un?"

Sasori scoffed and sat back down which just made Deidara's anger spike. He didn't care, did he?

"I am not the first man to have had an affair, Deidara and if you think that I am, then there is something wrong with your mind. Is there anything else you want, besides to apologize for the letters you've ruined?"

Deidara couldn't believe that Sasori didn't seem to care at all. He didn't hesitate to leave Sasori's office as quickly as possible, stopping by his office for just a moment to grab his briefcase, before heading home.

Didn't Sasori love his family? His marriage? Did he love Deidara?

Deidara had already guessed the answer to the last one, but the first two still seemed too unclear and the blond wasn't sure if he wanted to find out.

–

It was ten o'clock and Deidara was contemplating on whether or not he should still see his lover for their routine meet up. In the beginning, Deidara had told himself that there was no way in God's green earth that he would continue sleeping with a married man, no matter what feelings he had developed for him.

Yet, it was feelings like those that made Deidara doubt his first declaration of refusing to be with Sasori. It hadn't taken long for him to grow to love Sasori, even though his feelings were never fully returned, Deidara assumed it was because of society and prejudice. But now Deidara thought it was because he had a family and wife to love as well. But if he had that, then why was he fucking Deidara?

The blond had gotten home and not done a thing but sit at his kitchen table and think of what went through Sasori's mind to consider any of this okay. He didn't seem to think that sleeping with someone other than his wife was a morally wrong, but perhaps he did know and just didn't care?

Did he care for Deidara? If he had been with him for the past two years, he must have, the blond thought to himself.

But he had been with his wife for who knew how long? He must have grown tired of her, Deidara was sure of it. And Sasori never declined sleeping with him, so Deidara still thought that he was held in a higher esteem than Masako.

This was why Deidara was contemplating on whether or not he should see Sasori, but without even thinking about it, he was heading out his front door, bracing himself against the cold and snow.

When he did arrive at the inn, he went to the room number where he knew he would find Sasori. He saw a light beneath the door and frowned. He had almost hoped he hadn't come, because now his lover would see him and know that he was just as weak as him, while he ignored his conscious.

Deidara knocked on the door and waited for it to be answered. It was a few seconds later when Sasori opened the door, his countenance more annoyed than anything.

"What the hell took you so long?"

Deidara scowled at him and stayed rooted in the hall. "I wanted to see if you really were scum and still decided to come. Now that I know that, I'm leaving, un." Yet, he made no move to leave.

Sasori deadpanned at him. "Really now? You wanted to see if I was 'scum', yet you stand here, just as filthy as I? Hypocrisy is a real thing, Deidara, I hope you know that."

"Tch," Deidara looked away, furious that Sasori was trying to make him look bad.

"Well, are you coming in, or not?" Sasori asked as he stepped aside, and even though he looked no friendlier as he had been when he opened the door, Deidara couldn't say no to him.

Even while Deidara was having his breath fucked out of him, he couldn't stop thinking. Why was Sasori doing this? Was it just for his own satisfaction or did he have some inkling of care for Deidara?

The blond didn't know and soon all he could think about was clinging to Sasori, as he took on a more punishing pace. When Sasori struck his prostate, Deidara accidentally let go of his bottom lip, letting free a moan, one so loud that his face became flushed at hearing himself.

Sasori just smirked down at him and continued to aim for that spot, and Deidara had to cover his mouth to prevent anymore sound from escaping, but Sasori just grabbed his wrist and held it to the bed, his grip hard enough to cut off circulation.

"Don't stop now, brat," Sasori said, his voice more controlling than normal and one thing that Deidara had learned about Sasori was that he loved control.

So Deidara listened to him and didn't hold back his moans, knowing he sounded like a whore, but that may be just what Sasori saw him as. The thought nearly brought tears to his eyes but he pushed it all down. It didn't matter what he thought now, because Sasori didn't care, or appear to do so.

They only had one round, Sasori claiming that it was too late to start another. Deidara expected him to leave right away, to spite him because he was heading back to his family, but he didn't and stayed in bed with Deidara.

As soon as the lights were out, Deidara curled up next to Sasori and the older male just groaned a bit before turning over and allowing Deidara to move closer.

"You're always so cuddly after sex," he complained, his voice sluggish and Deidara didn't get to hear the tone often.

Sasori's breathing had evened out a bit when Deidara asked him, "Do you care about me, Danna, un?"

Sasori's simple response was, "Don't ask stupid questions, brat." And he pulled him in close, just confusing Deidara further.

Was it a stupid question because it was obvious? That Sasori either did or did not?

Deidara frowned and closed his eyes as he let Sasori's warmth consume him. He wished that Sasori would tell him that he chose him, that he loved him. But Deidara wished many things that he knew would never come true.