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Khamisu — End Transmission
Published: 2011-06-07 07:40:27 +0000 UTC; Views: 193; Favourites: 9; Downloads: 1
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Description
Some emo BS. I had to get my mind off something upsetting. I feel like it's stupid that I still get depressed about my ex (we broke up a year ago but we were fwb October-January. Not something I'm proud of and not something I recommend). It's not like a really common occurrence but I do think about it every day. I usually just try to focus on something else and to not think about it. I'm sick of him affecting my state of well-being, still. And he and I don't even talk anymore really. Like once a month. It takes me so long to get over a guy 100%, I guess. I wish I could speed up the process somehow but I don't think there's any way.Blahhh such personal stuff.. I might delete the description later, idk.
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Comments: 8
It's been a looong time since I've even been in a relationship, hehe. But I can still sympathize. It hurts for a while and it's okay to feel pain when you lose something like that. I'd say just do what you're doing. Try not to worry over it and do productive stuff for yourself, which will take your mind off of it.
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Fosho. I've been actually doing a lot better since I posted this, strangely enough. Well, he did text me the morning after I uploaded this.. it was like he read my mind. He basically said I was in his thoughts and he hoped things were well with me. It was something I needed to hear. I think maybe he knew.. because the thing I got all depressed about was his new profile picture on Facebook that was of him and his gf kissing. Vomit on a stick. He has since changed it back to a picture of just him, which I'm fucking grateful for.
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Dude, you're not alone. I broke up with my ex, mutually, a little over a year ago, and we didn't even have nearly the emotion-evoking connection it sounds like you did. I still get upset about it. What makes it hard for /me/ is that we're best friends and still talk every day, but I'm so jealous of his new boyfriend he can barely mention him around me. After being best friends and broken off for a YEAR.
Basically, you're totally not alone. Different situations, same time frame, similar pain. -sigh- This shit hurts.
AS FOR THE ACTUAL IMAGE. I actually LIKE how dark it is, almost too dark to see but just well-defined enough so you can spot the detail. The blue is an excellent portrayal of the mood, and I like that you went with that instead of just black and greys. The pose and expression really help convey that same emotion. Great job on this.
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Baw it took me a long time to reply to comments on this deviation, sowwy XD
I'm not sure which would be harder.. still talking daily but not being able to hang out, or not talking at all and not being able to hang out. Both would be real shitty in their own ways.
Damn, did you know he was bi when you dated? I'm assuming you're a girl, my bad if I'm wrong.
Thank you <3 And good luck with your ex. What helps me is to just block out thoughts of mine, but in your case since you still talk I imagine that's quite impossible 
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Haha, well he doesn't live close to me right now, so "hanging out" is more like just "chatting". I imagine this would be so, SO much harder if he was still around here. -sigh- As it was most of our relationship was long-distance and I won't even get into that particular conundrum.
Haha, well, there's a lot of things about my Jake that were... difficult. First off, he's a transboy. So he's physically female but mentally male. That was a muffin I'd already wrapped my head around though, but it was still, for a straight girl like me, kind of like... well. Difficult is the only word again. And as for his orientation? That was. A problem. All it's own. It was LITERALLY a case of "I'm kind of going straight for you" because he's gay. I mean, we both view orientation as a heavy preference and not something completely inflexible, but... it was kind of weird.
And that's the TIP OF THE ICEBERG with us. It was my first relationship and probably ONE OF THE WEIRDEST on the planet. ...okay so maybe not but it'll probably be the weirdest one I will ever have. o-o
Yeah. I've been working on it and I think honestly, it won't be too hard if I just get over the fact that it's NOT going to work out. I got kind of hopeful since we're moving to the same city again in a year but... as you can tell by the complications list? Probably never going to happen. Yeah.
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Damn. 
Yeah what helps me is to think of all the ways my relationship with my ex was wrong. I've focused too much on the good in him, when there were a lot of problems I always tried to dismiss.
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Yeah, I've known he was trans for awhile. I found out about a month before we started dating. To be honest he was excellent at passing and I didn't know him from school, so I already thought of him as a male. It was kind of like, "WOAH, you're not physically? Okaayyyyy." But I did surprise him by that being the extent of my reaction. It was kind of like "Well that's nice now what was the big-huge thing you had to tell me?" and he just stared at me like I'd grown a head, heh..
It was literally kind of a case of me being the only girl he'd ever felt anything for. It just sort of came out one day while we were talking. It was... a romantic attraction, but not a sexual attraction, (Some people think it's one in the same, but honestly, it's not,) and that was one of the problems. The attraction and chemistry was strong as anything in our personalities, but none of the physical attraction was there.
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