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Khiri-543 — The grieving process
by-nc-nd
Published: 2010-12-11 13:27:52 +0000 UTC; Views: 415; Favourites: 13; Downloads: 5
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Description
let god rest his soulashen white in paradise
sleeping in the clouds.
the birds are singing
an ode to a fallen star
gone from the night sky.
the coffin lid falls
so hard and heavy on your
hopes and on your tears.
when you put the gun
to your temple you whisper
his name to the walls.
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Comments: 19
This is so beautiful. The description is very nice, and I love how u wrote 'ashen' instead of just 'pale'.
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Thank you. Can you believe that was the result of German death metal?
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Yeah, tell me about it! I woulda thought it wouldve ended differently!
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me no like haikus there to much of a pain to write in my oppion......
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I have no idea what a Haiku is lol, just going with the 5, 7, 5 stanzas.
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Very descriptive, very sad and moving. It's quite beautiful.
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Wow, this is beautiful! It almost brought me to tears!
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this is beautiful and moving, and a haiku! Its put together with such a flow that I did't even notice. xD
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This work is an interesting expression. I did not immediately recognize it as haiku, probably because it is written so self-aware, you know?
But I like the brevity and form that the haiku gave you.
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I really never got Haikus, don't know the first thing about them besides the 5, 7, 5. So not sure if these even are or not XD
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The Haiku Club might be a nice place to look if you did want to know more...
But don't feel obligated. Seeing more free-spirited stuff is nice.
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Wow... this is so pretty. Very descriptive.
Haikus are weird. I don't like writing them much...
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Thanks!
I like the structure really, forces me to pick a few choice words, since i'm horrible with length in things generally
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np c:
I like them for that too, but sometimes they confuse me. xD
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