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kit-kaboodii — gb || two kinds of love

Published: 2019-06-01 02:41:29 +0000 UTC; Views: 605; Favourites: 35; Downloads: 0
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“Wolf'la?”


“Yes, Morning?”


Morning lay in Brena's fields, lush grass caressing xer sides. Xe had left for xer home clan a week ago, but still Wolf'la courted xem. Still Morning courted Wolf'la.


“Has Gray voiced any concern?” Morning asked, almost timidly. “About us, I mean. She's been nothing short of understanding towards me, but I don't know what she's said to you.”


Wolf'la smiled. She'd been lying down, head on Morning's chest, and now she raised it to look at xem.


“Nothing of the sort. I’m sure she’s fine with all three of us together. Considering …”

Morning felt xer face turn hot.


“I- ah- I know we’ve all been intimate as of late.”

Truly, they had been. Morning had felt shameful at first- how would Bear have reacted to xem rolling around with her killer? But Morning loved her, honestly and truly. She’d been a beacon of hope when Morning had xer unplanned pregnancy. She was a different cat. Morning could trust her to care for xem and xer family as best she could. Gray had been there that night, too, though- she’d been comfortable, hadn’t she? Surely, she knew the queen wouldn’t have forced her to do anything she hadn’t wanted to. Or maybe she was scared Wolf’la’s attention would be for Morning and Morning only …


“ I just can’t help but worry. She loves you, as much as a redblood can love a goldblood. She loves you as I do. I just … I fear that she'll be jealous.”


“You fear many things, most of them unfounded.”


Morning's paws brushed Wolf'la's sides delicately.


“If only I could unlearn fear.”


Wolf'la set her head down again, and against xer chest, Morning heard her purring softly.


“Do you care for both of us? If you prefer Gray, I can stop these meetings. I know I can't give you a family.”


“I love you as much as a goldblood can love a redblood,” Wolf'la answered. “Gray, too.”


Morning purred in response, and some time later, xe realized with a jolt that Wolf'la had fallen asleep on top of xem. Even now, when all she did was sleep, she seemed so ethereal …


Even now, she seemed so distant. Morning had fallen in love- xe knew that- but it was a new kind of love. It felt like Morning was chasing her, trying to learn who she was even as they grew more and more intimate. And yet, a wall would forever ensnare them- a wall built of gold.


It was built of much more. Ideologies. History. The simple fact that immortality dulled the senses, love included. That these dulled senses led to unforgivable actions. Bear lay cold in her grave made of feasting crows and other cats’ bones, and Wolf'la hadn't shown remorse. Morning hadn't shown remorse for sheltering rebels in Brena, either, and xe didn't plan to. They should’ve been enemies, but Wolf’la had bestowed upon xem an act of kindness xe couldn’t forget. you won’t be punished for having these children, she had said. You can stay in the Halcyon for the duration of your pregnancy.

And during that time, Morning was exposed to a side of Wolf’la she hadn’t seen. A side that held intellect and grace and tenderness, a side that Morning couldn’t help but fall in love with out of sheer awe.


Yes, in one world they were enemies, but still Morning pined after her.


Her love was so gentle, and she carried truths Morning could hardly dream of touching. Her infinite wisdom drew xem in just as much as that golden wall kept xem out. Her infinite gentleness and honeyed prose, too. Morning could wax poetry to her like xe could to nobody else, and Wolf'la matched xem at every turn.


“Are you alright? Your pulse is so quick that I awoke,” Wolf'la mewed sleepily. Her voice, accented with the mists of slumber, was even sweeter and softer than usual.


“Quite alright,” xe answered. “Even now, intimacy makes my heart skip a beat.”


That was true. And yet Morning continued to hide behind xer own wall of red.


Every moment Morning loved Wolf'la, xe suffered. And every moment, xe were hopelessly enamored with her. Even if it killed xem- and sometimes it felt like it did- she was xer everything.



”I’m glad Wolf’la has become laxer with us visiting,” Gray mewed as she cleaned Morning’s forehead.


“I’d hope so, considering she’s fallen for the both of us,” Morning purred, smile forming on the edge of xer lips. “How awkward would it be to tell one of us off after everything?”


Gray chuckled at that. “You’re right. How are the kids? I miss seeing them every day.”


“Growing like weeds, the lot of them. They miss Wolf’la, but Brena is exciting enough to distract them from any homesickness they might have.” Lilykit, Meadowkit, and Valleykit were being watched over by Tinypaw. Though she had an apprentice’s title, she was a fully grown cat. Wolf’la would have xer head if she knew Morning put so much trust in the ex-rebel, but xe knew she’d never hurt a hair on their heads. Her quarrel had never been with Brena. “I’m going to miss being a mother.”

“Me, too. We could always adopt if we’d like.”


Morning’s smile faltered just a bit. When the kits were grown, xe’d be old. Xe were old even now. How much time did xe have left, exactly? Morning had never feared death before, and xe didn’t now- but xe had so many ties to the living world now.


“Is something wrong?”

“Ah! Oh, nothing,” Morning mewed. Gray knew xe were lying, and Morning knew it, because her gaze was burning holes into xem.


“I thought Brenans prided themselves in their honesty,” Gray said. “Morning, you know you can tell me anything.”

For a while more, Morning went silent. Then:

“I don’t know how much time I have left. With the living, I mean.”

Now it was Gray’s turn to go silent.


“Neither do I. We aren’t spring chickens. Death is a possibility that gets closer and closer every day. But neither of us have gone gray.”

“I’m scared my arthritis is going to get worse. That I’ll wake up and not be able to walk,” Morning blurted out. “I was so scared I was going to be paralyzed after I gave birth … every morning, I feel afraid like that for a few seconds. I know it’s going to happen.”

Gray stopped grooming Morning entirely, and xe saw her look for a moment at xer back legs. “... I’m afraid of that, too,” she confessed. “Or that I’ll get some disease, or that something will stop working. We’re both at the age where parts of us just … break down.”

Morning nodded, eyes fearful. One day, xe’d break down completely.


“B-but even if that did happen, I’d still be by your side. Even if we’re too old and tired to adopt. I’d never leave.”


Xe huddled next to Gray, trying not to shake. Morning found that, when xe were especially stressed, xe could hardly speak. This seemed to hold true now. Gray took that as her cue to go on.

“We’ll both get old and break down, yes. But even then, I’d be there for you. I’m sure you’d be there for me. I’m happy to have the opportunity to grow old with you, even if it means that our health declines, or that we can’t have any more children. We’ll have each other.”


Morning pressed xer head into Gray’s chest, feeling her heartbeat as xe curled up against her. It was slow and rhythmic, and Morning felt xer muscles relax as xe listened to it.


“I love you,” Morning finally whispered.


“I love you, too,” Gray mewed, and she curled her body around Morning’s own.


“I wish I’d found you earlier,” xe added. “I would’ve been saved of so much heartache.”

“But we still found each other. It’s an honor to spend the rest of my life with you, even if we’re both getting old now. Any time with you is time well-spent.”

“Likewise.”


The simple peace in growing old with Gray was something Morning wasn’t used to- but it didn’t feel bad, now that xe thought about it. Their love was so true and so candid that it’d triumph any physical illness. It’d triumph death itself, whenever it came to claim the two of them.


“I love you,” xe said again. “You make me feel like everything will be okay.”

“It will be,” Gray replied. “There’s nothing that’ll stop me from loving you.”


The two of them stayed there, pressed up against each other, in comfortable silence. Gray only ever pushed Morning to talk when she knew something was wrong, and Morning gave her that same courtesy. It was so nice to find somebody that Morning could simply be quiet with. If Wolf’la was somewhere up high, unattainable, then Gray was xer anchor to the earth.


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Comments: 4

Okibi-Wolf [2019-06-03 17:24:46 +0000 UTC]

MMMMMMMM  SUCH BIG LOVE

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

goosened [2019-06-01 06:02:56 +0000 UTC]

this makes me feel so many things, this is really powerful

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

lilbeantrix [2019-06-01 03:54:10 +0000 UTC]

Soft

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

patiens [2019-06-01 03:33:22 +0000 UTC]

im literally crying : (

👍: 0 ⏩: 0