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Description
i have an entire world inside my head
and frankly,
it’s so much better
than what society calls ‘reality.’

if i only close my eyes
i can hear ocean waves crashing,
feel rain on my skin.

in my little world,
my safe place away from life,
i can finally breathe
and i don’t get the cravings
to blacken my lungs
breathing in smoke from little white sticks.

i don’t feel the need
to watch my body bleed
and slowly deteriorate,
dropping pounds, bones protruding,
ribs rippling when i breathe.

because for once,
i am safe and i can feel again.
i can express myself in the way
that the ocean does,
mood changing on the flip of a dime
from tumultuous to peaceful
to sad and angry.

when i’m here,
i gain a mastery over my emotions,
one that i have never had in real life.
for once i can feel everything at once,
and express it all
without feeling as if i’m going to explode.

i don’t have to cut my skin
to watch the emotion flow out of me
in a crimson stream.

i don’t have to starve my body
to try to kill my insecurities.

i don’t have to breathe in smoke
or swallow alcohol
to slowly poison my mind from the inside.

here in my own world,
i am at peace.

and in all honesty,
i never want to return.

Description
i have an entire world inside my head
and frankly,
it’s so much better
than what society calls ‘reality.’

if i only close my eyes
i can hear ocean waves crashing,
feel rain on my skin.

in my little world,
my safe place away from life,
i can finally breathe
and i don’t get the cravings
to blacken my lungs
breathing in smoke from little white sticks.

i don’t feel the need
to watch my body bleed
and slowly deteriorate,
dropping pounds, bones protruding,
ribs rippling when i breathe.

because for once,
i am safe and i can feel again.
i can express myself in the way
that the ocean does,
mood changing on the flip of a dime
from tumultuous to peaceful
to sad and angry.

when i’m here,
i gain a mastery over my emotions,
one that i have never had in real life.
for once i can feel everything at once,
and express it all
without feeling as if i’m going to explode.

i don’t have to cut my skin
to watch the emotion flow out of me
in a crimson stream.

i don’t have to starve my body
to try to kill my insecurities.

i don’t have to breathe in smoke
or swallow alcohol
to slowly poison my mind from the inside.

here in my own world,
i am at peace.

and in all honesty,
i never want to return.