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Description

I drew this one quite late last year (Dec 2023), just a couple days before Christmas. I wonder what I was doing up at 3:13 AM when I exported this file.

What I do remember however, is how it felt. Every day, I was drifting further and further away from the light that had previously given me a new purpose, a new hope in this life, and began to recede deeper and deeper into the black hole of negativity I had become. By this point, I knew they would not be reaching out for me.

Not like I could blame them for that, considering my final parting message, basically telling them that I would never contact them again, and that this was for the best. On the day I left, I was hurt, jealous, frustrated, and very argumentative. I definitely made them quite mad that day, so of course, why would they purposely seek me out? It was a stupid thing to wish for, yet I still did, and I only became more depressed when they never reached out again.

At the time, it felt like there was no escape. The black hole of negativity would suck in whatever microscopic traces of optimism I had left inside me, until I was left with nothing but a void in my heart. There would be no help coming to rescue me. There would be no one to save me from my own dark thoughts. There was nobody around me, no one to keep me company, nothing but my own rapidly waning sanity.

How could I possibly escape this prison of darkness, when I was the one who caused it? When I had no one to blame for this situation but myself? Now that I was completely, entirely, truly, and utterly alone, for the rest of my life...

I enjoyed drawing the wibbly lines, just to showcase how shaky life was. There's a tiny skull in the center of the spiral, not sure if that will be visible to anyone; a minor foreshadowing of where this path would ultimately lead, if I could not find an escape.

Description

I drew this one quite late last year (Dec 2023), just a couple days before Christmas. I wonder what I was doing up at 3:13 AM when I exported this file.

What I do remember however, is how it felt. Every day, I was drifting further and further away from the light that had previously given me a new purpose, a new hope in this life, and began to recede deeper and deeper into the black hole of negativity I had become. By this point, I knew they would not be reaching out for me.

Not like I could blame them for that, considering my final parting message, basically telling them that I would never contact them again, and that this was for the best. On the day I left, I was hurt, jealous, frustrated, and very argumentative. I definitely made them quite mad that day, so of course, why would they purposely seek me out? It was a stupid thing to wish for, yet I still did, and I only became more depressed when they never reached out again.

At the time, it felt like there was no escape. The black hole of negativity would suck in whatever microscopic traces of optimism I had left inside me, until I was left with nothing but a void in my heart. There would be no help coming to rescue me. There would be no one to save me from my own dark thoughts. There was nobody around me, no one to keep me company, nothing but my own rapidly waning sanity.

How could I possibly escape this prison of darkness, when I was the one who caused it? When I had no one to blame for this situation but myself? Now that I was completely, entirely, truly, and utterly alone, for the rest of my life...

I enjoyed drawing the wibbly lines, just to showcase how shaky life was. There's a tiny skull in the center of the spiral, not sure if that will be visible to anyone; a minor foreshadowing of where this path would ultimately lead, if I could not find an escape.