Comments: 20
brain-tree [2013-08-25 06:47:09 +0000 UTC]
Goddamned wonderful writing. It takes a while for this to sink in fully, but in this case it's a wonderful thing. I like the honest and simplistic tone in your diction. Definitely watching you!
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lacesoutvic In reply to brain-tree [2013-09-01 20:24:35 +0000 UTC]
i appreciate it, thanks. i don't write too often but sometimes something good comes out haha.
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Patrikia-Bear [2013-07-01 05:21:07 +0000 UTC]
I love the images it puts in my brain... Like it's someone preparing to drown themselves in the sea and they're remembering how they were prevented last time.
Like they regretted that they let themselves be saved.
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anila73 [2013-06-30 23:45:02 +0000 UTC]
Feels.
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EyeAmLove [2013-06-30 22:11:26 +0000 UTC]
<3 this is my new obsession
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ThrashMetallix [2013-06-30 19:13:53 +0000 UTC]
Nice and brutal...
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Chala101 [2013-06-30 17:14:41 +0000 UTC]
amazing...
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harashe [2013-06-30 15:37:53 +0000 UTC]
I thought it was a song when I was reading it. It flows so well!
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nosedivve [2013-06-30 09:23:36 +0000 UTC]
The flow of this is so lyrical-like. I bet this would make a lovely slam poem. Have you ever read it out loud?
I adore the repetition a the end and how you brought it back to the beginning. The punctuation is used so well here (many have problems with this) as well as the line breaks. This is truly a wonderful poem.
Congrats on the well-deserved DD feature.
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lacesoutvic In reply to nosedivve [2013-07-01 22:34:17 +0000 UTC]
i actually had slam poetry on my mind, and that influenced the flow in this. i haven't performed it but i did read it out loud as i wrote it.
thanks for the kind words!
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