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lairel — Realization
Published: 2003-12-18 20:03:06 +0000 UTC; Views: 161; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 11
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Description
I hurt insideThis pain it is all mine
I know it I think
But where is it from
Loneliness caused by my disgrace
The disgrace that is me
I am never going to heal
This wound that was opened so viciously
No matter if I bleed
The inside hurts more
I want the pain to go away
But it never will
I realize this now
As long as I am alone
The pain will be with me
Gnawing at the very center of my soul.
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Comments: 27
you are no longer alone 
on another note i dont like the jellygraph guy very much he keeps insulting you and it isnt constructive criticism when he is saying the same thing repeatedly (not meaning the double post) poems dont have to be metaphorical since they are mainly to express your inner thoughts but anyway i hope you arent feeling this way and srry if it seems like i am being kinda mean to jelly graph lol and srry nbout so many messages that you shall have when i get off tonight lol
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it's okay, it gives me something to do when i get on.
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Erm. I think I'll be honest with this one. This poem is very cliche. I know you put effort into it, but I always like to see something innovative, creative. And this isn't it. "Pain" is overused so much in these angsty poems, and it's always coupled with blood, wishing you could heal. I don't know...there must be a way to do "suicide" well, with IMAGERY, metaphorical greatness. Think about these things on your next one. I see the potential.
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Sorry about the double post!
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Well actually I was just trying to put a feeling down on paper, I wrote it in about five minutes, during lunch, I didn't think it was very good, but I still posted it, I wasn't suicidal, I just felt, shakey, and odd, I couldn't describe it... and I don't know... In my oppinion metaphors can get very over used. but I use them alot in my unposted poems, mostly the ones I did as assignments.
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I would like to see some of the poems you have left unposted. It sounds like you explore more poetic themes in these poems. I understand if you wanted to just get a thought down...I've had the same urge many times, and it doesn't always produce the best work. haha. Metaphors are good, but I have seen examples of where they can be excessive, but I always prefer metaphors to anything too straightforward, you know? Keep writing. That's my tip o' the day.
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Erm. I think I'll be honest with this one. This poem is very cliche. I know you put effort into it, but I always like to see something innovative, creative. And this isn't it. "Pain" is overused so much in these angsty poems, and it's always coupled with blood, wishing you could heal. I don't know...there must be a way to do "suicide" well, with IMAGERY, metaphorical greatness. Think about these things on your next one. I see the potential.
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Hey, the rhymeing part of the poem shouldn't be considered an axident, but rather a poetic absent mind. Honestley, I can't rhyme if I tried. So since you can do it with out realiseing it, then that means you got tallent.
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As always your poetry is very well written and potrays your emotions very well. Good job 
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good poem, I will shoot the pain and make it die so as you can be happy
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dont say things like that
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no one is less important in this world no one!
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well pass it some more tell its gone ^_^
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you need to sit down and think through your earlier comment. you can figure it out, i know you can.
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nope cant im an ideot ^_^ just cheer up aye!
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I have no brain fuel (coke) cant think right this instant
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buy more tea is good ^_____^
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I can't find my big box of green tea, I know where my loose leaf is, but I don't want that. oh well, maybe I should buy more.
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no you are not, and yes you can, trust me on this, it is not brain surgery, or even conjugating spanish verbs.
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you dont have to make things up, and this is only a passing thought, i only have it about 70% of the time.
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it is true, I really just want to dig myself a hole and cry myself to death. I'd do the world a favor.
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happy, an emotion I can only pretend to have...
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rhyming isan't all that bad - this is a good poem!
But now we don't want you being depressed 
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I just realized this is a near rhyme poem 
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