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Description
A stabbing pain in his temples woke him at once. Groaning involuntarily he clawed his face and hurried to hide from the sunlight that was falling on the bed. That sudden move, though, caused his stomach to turn upside down. He bent forward and vomited on the expensive carpet. Coughing and gasping he hung his head. Despite his proper upbringing he croaked: "Oh fuck…!"
So it was true what they always preached: Don't take in combination with alcohol. Well, he'd learned his lesson. Never again he would do that. No hallucination was worth such a hangover. What had he been thinking?
"I will send the maids, my Lord." An emotionless voice informed him. When he looked up with bloodshot eyes he saw Kavelle leaning in the doorframe. He gave her a weak nod and sat up. His limbs were unusually heavy and felt kind of numb. Hopefully those weren't long-term effects. The next second his wife was gone. Burying his face in his hands he tried to remember last night. His memories were blurred and nothing but a chaos of colors. He didn't even know how he had gotten into this room. There was just one scene that kept replaying in his mind. While everything else only caused his headache to worsen, this memory –or dream? -calmed him down. A young brown-haired beauty with intense blue eyes was approaching him in this dream. He easily recognized her. Lanhua. She had played a major role in his fantasies. He wondered why.
Suppressing a groan left the bed and staggered towards the exit. He needed to get to the restroom. Just as he went out the door he almost collided with a servant. His legs were still shaky so he threatened to lose his balance but she swiftly grabbed his wrist and steadied him.
"My Lord, you should take it easy." She advised him, a friendly smile on her lips. He just nodded in a dazed manner.
"I'm sorry,…uhm..." Questioningly he stared down at her while he searched for anything familiar about her. "That's embarrassing. What is your name again?"
Still smiling the maid bowed her head a bit and answered: "I'm Jin-Mei, my Lord. I might be speaking out of turn but you don't look well. You should lie down again. Shall I prepare your bedroom?"
"That… would be great, thanks."
Jin-Mei bowed again and hurried down the hall. Jian muttered something unintelligible and after a few silent moments followed her.

Resting his chin in the palm of his hand Jian stared listlessly at the food in front of him. The whole morning Kavelle had pierced him with her eyes; ever since he had left his room again. He just waited for her to bring last night up. Just when he thought about it she actually raised her voice.
"Now, my Lord, what was up with you yesterday?" she demanded, unusually bold. He didn't look up, like always, and answered: "I apologize."
"I don't want an apology. I want to know what you did to yourself. You took devil's weed again, didn't you?" she hissed with narrowed eyes. She knew all too well that he tended to take more than necessary. Levitamin or 'devil's weed' was a drug from the west and quite popular. The main effects were hallucinations and a feeling of happiness that lasted at most one hour. Every time she found out that he'd taken more than prescribed she punished him with cold glares until he promised to be more careful next time. She couldn't forbid him to take it altogether so she had to put up with what she got. Her behavior wasn't caused by worry about his health, though. She knew that those drugs had various side-effects depending on how much you took. It had happened before that he fell into a dangerous state of frenzied rage and dealt out more than punches. She had been very scared of him.
"I did, but as you can see no one got hurt." Just to provoke her he added in an undertone: "The wine must have been sedative in that mix. You were lucky."
"Wine?" she almost shrieked. "You drank alcohol and did drugs at the same time? Have you lost it? You could have wound up dead!"
"Oh, I'm sure you were the first to break down in tears if I would. Leave me alone, Kavelle. You're hypocrisy is sickening me." He growled and finally brought himself to look her in the eye. That was why he saw the smug smile appearing on her face. "Last night you didn't think so."
That caught him off guard. All his features blundered at once. He hadn't thought she would play that card.
"You don't have to look like that, my Lord," the title sounded like scorn on her lips, "I'm just saying that you enjoyed my company very much."
Since a few days her attitude towards him had worsened. Yesterday he sure hadn't improved that state. Still he could deal with it, since he actually didn't care but this open derision did offend him to some extent. He wasn't willing to argue on such a low level so he bit his tongue and didn't respond to her. Instead he stood up and without even turning his head in her direction said: "Tonight I won't be… here." He almost had used the word 'home' but that wouldn't have been true.
"Want to spend the night with your little girlfriend, eh? I guess that's better than just fantasizing about her while fucking someone else."
His jaw dropped. He looked back at her with an incredulous expression. "Wow…" That was all he could think of.
"Yeah." She crossed her arms before her chest and he could tell by the look in her eyes that if he had been closer she would have spat at his face. "Have fun, you ungrateful bastard."

"I'm off now." Lanhua called over her shoulder and closed the door behind her. She yawned and rubbed her eyes. Two o'clock in the morning her shift had started today. While this was very exhausting she had at least a peaceful evening lying ahead of her. She decided to take the route through the park to her house. The leaves had fallen and left the trees naked and lifeless. Small rodents played tag among the branches and jumped at an unbelievable speed from bough to bough. She followed them with her eyes and inevitably slowed down. The smell of wet earth and rain filled her nose. She inhaled deeply and smiled to herself. Lost in her thoughts she walked on. Yesterday her boss had upgraded her to one of the favorites. She had had a lot of customers lately and worked very hard for that. As a favorite you earned more money and even could turn customers down. On the other hand they expected more from you. The guests of favorites often stayed for hours and demanded a full repertoire of acting. Sometime you even had to pretend to be their girlfriend. She shook her head trying to imagine that. That was when she saw him. He wore a sleeveless shirt, blue pants and no shoes. In his casual outfit she almost didn't recognize him. (It surprised her that she did, though.) Jian was sitting on a bench and stared at the scenery. He didn't seem to pay special attention to anything. She was only a few meters away from him now. Never before she had met one of her customers in the real world, she didn't know how she should react. Before she could make up her mind he looked her way. A surprised expression flickered across his face and lit up his eyes. Lanhua stopped by his side as if he had told her to.
"Hello."
"Good afternoon, sir." She replied and examined his face. He seemed tired and his mood wasn't the lightest either. She should leave him alone anyway. She should tell him goodbye and go but the words that left her mouth were different. "Are you alright?"
He raised his head a little and smiled, but she could easily see that he forced himself to. He must have seen the doubt on her face because the same moment he shrugged and leaned back. "I'm thinking about some things."
"Then I won't bother you any further." She nodded and turned away from him but before she could even move her feet a hand touched her forearm. Startled, she looked back and saw his begging gaze.
"I don't mind at all. Please stay a little. I need something to distract myself." He spoke very low as if it embarrassed him to utter such a plea.
"If it's really okay with you to be seen with me, sure." She half-joked and sat down next to him. There was almost a whole meter between them. He gave her a look she couldn't interpret. "Why wouldn't it be okay?" he asked her in an undertone. Lanhua crossed her legs and rested her elbows on her knee. "A good many wouldn't want to be seen with a whore during the day."
"Do you see yourself as nothing but that?"
"What?" she blinked and stared at the man with a confused expression.
"Judging from what you just said you don't believe to have another purpose in life. Right now I'm not talking to a whore. I'm talking to a decent young woman." He explained; honesty ringing in every word. She chuckled lightly to hide her flattered blush. "You don't have to defend my honor. I choose that life by myself. I knew what I was getting involved in."
He looked like he wanted to say something so she waited but then he changed his mind. She continued: "But one day I will be out of there, you know? I'm working very hard to earn money and I'll find a better job someday. Just you watch!"
Jian smiled. He couldn't help it. The cheerful attitude of hers brightened his mood. He had been very surprised to see her here and just had had to take his chance. It was stupid and childish but he liked her. He didn't know her at all, but he really did. And he didn't want to have it explained to him. Right now he just wanted to enjoy this kind atmosphere. A low growling sound came from the spot next to him. At his knowing grin she blushed and muttered: "I haven't had a chance to eat something today."
"May I invite you to a very late lunch then?" He held out a hand for her and stood up. She took it and let him pull her to her feet. "I'll take you up on that offer.
...
The sun began to set and rays of red light fell on the streets. A few couples enjoyed the chilly evening together by taking a walk together or eating dinner. Among the masses of people streaming through the city two figures standing in the shadows of a bakery weren't a striking sight. She warmed her hands on cup of steaming tea and due to the cold wind her red cheeks didn't attract any attention at all. Now he laughed out loud which caused her blush to deepen.
"That's not funny." She complained but chuckled at the same time to take the sting from her words.
"Oh, but it is. Did you ever see him again?" he grinned and leaned against a wall. She shook her head and smirked, "He deserved it though."
"No doubt about that." Jian nodded. The whole time his eyes had been resting on her face. The twilight was reflected in her eyes and made them glisten. Lanhua gave him another warm smile and took a sip from her cup. She emptied it with one last draft and threw it into the garbage can a few meters away. She returned to her spot right in front of him.
"You know, now I almost regret how we met." He uttered carelessly. Her features froze. "Oh…" she muttered. Seeing the expression on her face he hurried to continue: "Yes, I wish it had been a little more personal, more serious."
She was silent for a long time and then whispered: "Do you think this, I mean you and me, is something… serious?" Her voice was so low he had to lean in to understand every word. He didn't miss the hopeful tone of hers, though. A small leaf got caught in her hair and with gentle fingers he pulled it out. She held her breath for a second and slowly exhaled when he dropped his hand.
"Do you know what I thought after I left you that other day?" he asked and took a step closer. Incapable of words she just shrugged, her eyes glued to his face.
"I thought: Damn, I want to see that girl again." He told her and bent forward a little. "You were in my head the whole time, Lanhua. I didn't get you off my mind."
Jian lifted his hand again and carefully touched her chin. "I wish I knew why. I don't even know what I'm feeling right now. I look at you and I don't know."
"Do you have an idea?" Her lips barely parted as she spoke. Her heartbeat sped until she could felt her skin heat up again. Now his mouth was only an inch away from hers.
"Yes, but it is ridiculous."
"I like ridiculous things." She grinned weakly and slowly laid her hands on his shoulders. Always searching for approval in each other's eyes they got closer. Lanhua swallowed hard. She knew what had to come next but this was different from her usual schedule. He hadn't paid money to see her and she couldn't tell herself that this was nothing but business. They had kissed, had had sex before but it felt like this was the first time he ever was that close. She knew she had to calm down now. It was important that she restrained her feelings now and chained down her expectations and hopes. Why didn't she do it? Maybe because she wanted to be happy, just for a moment. Jian softly pressed his lips to hers. It was a sweet, innocent kiss. After a few seconds he pulled back and held her in a tender embrace. He whispered to her: "That's what it should have been like."
The regret in his voice warmed her core but at the same time it scared her. She nodded and for a second held on to him.
It should have been like this.
It should be like this.
It wasn't like this.
She stepped out of his arms and lowered her gaze. "Jian… You are married." She felt the urge to remind him of that. Even though it wasn't unordinary for married men to have concubines or girlfriends this behavior was always frowned upon. Now it was his turn to freeze. She counted the seconds he needed to recover.
"I told you that it was a forced marriage. I don't care about her." He muttered but at the same time retreated a bit. He thought of this morning that seemed so far away. "She doesn't care about me."
"What if someone sees you with me? You would disgrace yourself…"
"I wouldn't."
"You father would –"
"… Tear me apart, yes. We just have to make sure he doesn't find out." An optimistic smile on his lips he put his hands in his pockets and shrugged. "I won't tell him if you don't."
"Who would have thought that you'd be so much trouble?" Lanhua sighed in defeat and pulled him closer. Jian laughed softly next to her ear. The sun was already gone and had left behind the cool darkness of night. The sky was filled with twinkling stars and far in the east the crescent sent silver moonbeams to earth. Winding his arms around her waist he pressed her front against his and gave her a boyish smirk. "Believe me it's just getting worse and worse."
As he walked her home she never took her eyes off him. They talked the whole time. He told her about his life and his childhood (she had been right, he was a lord.) and she told him about her past as well. When they came to her place he suddenly stopped. She turned around to him, an asking expression in her blue eyes. Jian stared at the dark windows of the second floor.
"Will I see you again?" he wanted to know, but didn't look at her. She smiled anyway.
"You know where I work," she started but he cut her off with a brief move of his hand.
"I don't want you to see me as your customer, Lanhua."
"As what do you want me to see you?" she challenged and got a step closer.
"As… As something more, I guess." He muttered after a long silence. Now his eyes slowly wandered back to hers. In response she cupped his face with her hands and pulled him into a soft kiss.
"Goodnight, Jian."

Description
A stabbing pain in his temples woke him at once. Groaning involuntarily he clawed his face and hurried to hide from the sunlight that was falling on the bed. That sudden move, though, caused his stomach to turn upside down. He bent forward and vomited on the expensive carpet. Coughing and gasping he hung his head. Despite his proper upbringing he croaked: "Oh fuck…!"
So it was true what they always preached: Don't take in combination with alcohol. Well, he'd learned his lesson. Never again he would do that. No hallucination was worth such a hangover. What had he been thinking?
"I will send the maids, my Lord." An emotionless voice informed him. When he looked up with bloodshot eyes he saw Kavelle leaning in the doorframe. He gave her a weak nod and sat up. His limbs were unusually heavy and felt kind of numb. Hopefully those weren't long-term effects. The next second his wife was gone. Burying his face in his hands he tried to remember last night. His memories were blurred and nothing but a chaos of colors. He didn't even know how he had gotten into this room. There was just one scene that kept replaying in his mind. While everything else only caused his headache to worsen, this memory –or dream? -calmed him down. A young brown-haired beauty with intense blue eyes was approaching him in this dream. He easily recognized her. Lanhua. She had played a major role in his fantasies. He wondered why.
Suppressing a groan left the bed and staggered towards the exit. He needed to get to the restroom. Just as he went out the door he almost collided with a servant. His legs were still shaky so he threatened to lose his balance but she swiftly grabbed his wrist and steadied him.
"My Lord, you should take it easy." She advised him, a friendly smile on her lips. He just nodded in a dazed manner.
"I'm sorry,…uhm..." Questioningly he stared down at her while he searched for anything familiar about her. "That's embarrassing. What is your name again?"
Still smiling the maid bowed her head a bit and answered: "I'm Jin-Mei, my Lord. I might be speaking out of turn but you don't look well. You should lie down again. Shall I prepare your bedroom?"
"That… would be great, thanks."
Jin-Mei bowed again and hurried down the hall. Jian muttered something unintelligible and after a few silent moments followed her.

Resting his chin in the palm of his hand Jian stared listlessly at the food in front of him. The whole morning Kavelle had pierced him with her eyes; ever since he had left his room again. He just waited for her to bring last night up. Just when he thought about it she actually raised her voice.
"Now, my Lord, what was up with you yesterday?" she demanded, unusually bold. He didn't look up, like always, and answered: "I apologize."
"I don't want an apology. I want to know what you did to yourself. You took devil's weed again, didn't you?" she hissed with narrowed eyes. She knew all too well that he tended to take more than necessary. Levitamin or 'devil's weed' was a drug from the west and quite popular. The main effects were hallucinations and a feeling of happiness that lasted at most one hour. Every time she found out that he'd taken more than prescribed she punished him with cold glares until he promised to be more careful next time. She couldn't forbid him to take it altogether so she had to put up with what she got. Her behavior wasn't caused by worry about his health, though. She knew that those drugs had various side-effects depending on how much you took. It had happened before that he fell into a dangerous state of frenzied rage and dealt out more than punches. She had been very scared of him.
"I did, but as you can see no one got hurt." Just to provoke her he added in an undertone: "The wine must have been sedative in that mix. You were lucky."
"Wine?" she almost shrieked. "You drank alcohol and did drugs at the same time? Have you lost it? You could have wound up dead!"
"Oh, I'm sure you were the first to break down in tears if I would. Leave me alone, Kavelle. You're hypocrisy is sickening me." He growled and finally brought himself to look her in the eye. That was why he saw the smug smile appearing on her face. "Last night you didn't think so."
That caught him off guard. All his features blundered at once. He hadn't thought she would play that card.
"You don't have to look like that, my Lord," the title sounded like scorn on her lips, "I'm just saying that you enjoyed my company very much."
Since a few days her attitude towards him had worsened. Yesterday he sure hadn't improved that state. Still he could deal with it, since he actually didn't care but this open derision did offend him to some extent. He wasn't willing to argue on such a low level so he bit his tongue and didn't respond to her. Instead he stood up and without even turning his head in her direction said: "Tonight I won't be… here." He almost had used the word 'home' but that wouldn't have been true.
"Want to spend the night with your little girlfriend, eh? I guess that's better than just fantasizing about her while fucking someone else."
His jaw dropped. He looked back at her with an incredulous expression. "Wow…" That was all he could think of.
"Yeah." She crossed her arms before her chest and he could tell by the look in her eyes that if he had been closer she would have spat at his face. "Have fun, you ungrateful bastard."

"I'm off now." Lanhua called over her shoulder and closed the door behind her. She yawned and rubbed her eyes. Two o'clock in the morning her shift had started today. While this was very exhausting she had at least a peaceful evening lying ahead of her. She decided to take the route through the park to her house. The leaves had fallen and left the trees naked and lifeless. Small rodents played tag among the branches and jumped at an unbelievable speed from bough to bough. She followed them with her eyes and inevitably slowed down. The smell of wet earth and rain filled her nose. She inhaled deeply and smiled to herself. Lost in her thoughts she walked on. Yesterday her boss had upgraded her to one of the favorites. She had had a lot of customers lately and worked very hard for that. As a favorite you earned more money and even could turn customers down. On the other hand they expected more from you. The guests of favorites often stayed for hours and demanded a full repertoire of acting. Sometime you even had to pretend to be their girlfriend. She shook her head trying to imagine that. That was when she saw him. He wore a sleeveless shirt, blue pants and no shoes. In his casual outfit she almost didn't recognize him. (It surprised her that she did, though.) Jian was sitting on a bench and stared at the scenery. He didn't seem to pay special attention to anything. She was only a few meters away from him now. Never before she had met one of her customers in the real world, she didn't know how she should react. Before she could make up her mind he looked her way. A surprised expression flickered across his face and lit up his eyes. Lanhua stopped by his side as if he had told her to.
"Hello."
"Good afternoon, sir." She replied and examined his face. He seemed tired and his mood wasn't the lightest either. She should leave him alone anyway. She should tell him goodbye and go but the words that left her mouth were different. "Are you alright?"
He raised his head a little and smiled, but she could easily see that he forced himself to. He must have seen the doubt on her face because the same moment he shrugged and leaned back. "I'm thinking about some things."
"Then I won't bother you any further." She nodded and turned away from him but before she could even move her feet a hand touched her forearm. Startled, she looked back and saw his begging gaze.
"I don't mind at all. Please stay a little. I need something to distract myself." He spoke very low as if it embarrassed him to utter such a plea.
"If it's really okay with you to be seen with me, sure." She half-joked and sat down next to him. There was almost a whole meter between them. He gave her a look she couldn't interpret. "Why wouldn't it be okay?" he asked her in an undertone. Lanhua crossed her legs and rested her elbows on her knee. "A good many wouldn't want to be seen with a whore during the day."
"Do you see yourself as nothing but that?"
"What?" she blinked and stared at the man with a confused expression.
"Judging from what you just said you don't believe to have another purpose in life. Right now I'm not talking to a whore. I'm talking to a decent young woman." He explained; honesty ringing in every word. She chuckled lightly to hide her flattered blush. "You don't have to defend my honor. I choose that life by myself. I knew what I was getting involved in."
He looked like he wanted to say something so she waited but then he changed his mind. She continued: "But one day I will be out of there, you know? I'm working very hard to earn money and I'll find a better job someday. Just you watch!"
Jian smiled. He couldn't help it. The cheerful attitude of hers brightened his mood. He had been very surprised to see her here and just had had to take his chance. It was stupid and childish but he liked her. He didn't know her at all, but he really did. And he didn't want to have it explained to him. Right now he just wanted to enjoy this kind atmosphere. A low growling sound came from the spot next to him. At his knowing grin she blushed and muttered: "I haven't had a chance to eat something today."
"May I invite you to a very late lunch then?" He held out a hand for her and stood up. She took it and let him pull her to her feet. "I'll take you up on that offer.
...
The sun began to set and rays of red light fell on the streets. A few couples enjoyed the chilly evening together by taking a walk together or eating dinner. Among the masses of people streaming through the city two figures standing in the shadows of a bakery weren't a striking sight. She warmed her hands on cup of steaming tea and due to the cold wind her red cheeks didn't attract any attention at all. Now he laughed out loud which caused her blush to deepen.
"That's not funny." She complained but chuckled at the same time to take the sting from her words.
"Oh, but it is. Did you ever see him again?" he grinned and leaned against a wall. She shook her head and smirked, "He deserved it though."
"No doubt about that." Jian nodded. The whole time his eyes had been resting on her face. The twilight was reflected in her eyes and made them glisten. Lanhua gave him another warm smile and took a sip from her cup. She emptied it with one last draft and threw it into the garbage can a few meters away. She returned to her spot right in front of him.
"You know, now I almost regret how we met." He uttered carelessly. Her features froze. "Oh…" she muttered. Seeing the expression on her face he hurried to continue: "Yes, I wish it had been a little more personal, more serious."
She was silent for a long time and then whispered: "Do you think this, I mean you and me, is something… serious?" Her voice was so low he had to lean in to understand every word. He didn't miss the hopeful tone of hers, though. A small leaf got caught in her hair and with gentle fingers he pulled it out. She held her breath for a second and slowly exhaled when he dropped his hand.
"Do you know what I thought after I left you that other day?" he asked and took a step closer. Incapable of words she just shrugged, her eyes glued to his face.
"I thought: Damn, I want to see that girl again." He told her and bent forward a little. "You were in my head the whole time, Lanhua. I didn't get you off my mind."
Jian lifted his hand again and carefully touched her chin. "I wish I knew why. I don't even know what I'm feeling right now. I look at you and I don't know."
"Do you have an idea?" Her lips barely parted as she spoke. Her heartbeat sped until she could felt her skin heat up again. Now his mouth was only an inch away from hers.
"Yes, but it is ridiculous."
"I like ridiculous things." She grinned weakly and slowly laid her hands on his shoulders. Always searching for approval in each other's eyes they got closer. Lanhua swallowed hard. She knew what had to come next but this was different from her usual schedule. He hadn't paid money to see her and she couldn't tell herself that this was nothing but business. They had kissed, had had sex before but it felt like this was the first time he ever was that close. She knew she had to calm down now. It was important that she restrained her feelings now and chained down her expectations and hopes. Why didn't she do it? Maybe because she wanted to be happy, just for a moment. Jian softly pressed his lips to hers. It was a sweet, innocent kiss. After a few seconds he pulled back and held her in a tender embrace. He whispered to her: "That's what it should have been like."
The regret in his voice warmed her core but at the same time it scared her. She nodded and for a second held on to him.
It should have been like this.
It should be like this.
It wasn't like this.
She stepped out of his arms and lowered her gaze. "Jian… You are married." She felt the urge to remind him of that. Even though it wasn't unordinary for married men to have concubines or girlfriends this behavior was always frowned upon. Now it was his turn to freeze. She counted the seconds he needed to recover.
"I told you that it was a forced marriage. I don't care about her." He muttered but at the same time retreated a bit. He thought of this morning that seemed so far away. "She doesn't care about me."
"What if someone sees you with me? You would disgrace yourself…"
"I wouldn't."
"You father would –"
"… Tear me apart, yes. We just have to make sure he doesn't find out." An optimistic smile on his lips he put his hands in his pockets and shrugged. "I won't tell him if you don't."
"Who would have thought that you'd be so much trouble?" Lanhua sighed in defeat and pulled him closer. Jian laughed softly next to her ear. The sun was already gone and had left behind the cool darkness of night. The sky was filled with twinkling stars and far in the east the crescent sent silver moonbeams to earth. Winding his arms around her waist he pressed her front against his and gave her a boyish smirk. "Believe me it's just getting worse and worse."
As he walked her home she never took her eyes off him. They talked the whole time. He told her about his life and his childhood (she had been right, he was a lord.) and she told him about her past as well. When they came to her place he suddenly stopped. She turned around to him, an asking expression in her blue eyes. Jian stared at the dark windows of the second floor.
"Will I see you again?" he wanted to know, but didn't look at her. She smiled anyway.
"You know where I work," she started but he cut her off with a brief move of his hand.
"I don't want you to see me as your customer, Lanhua."
"As what do you want me to see you?" she challenged and got a step closer.
"As… As something more, I guess." He muttered after a long silence. Now his eyes slowly wandered back to hers. In response she cupped his face with her hands and pulled him into a soft kiss.
"Goodnight, Jian."