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larienne — DwD - 1. Eraser
#conceptual #depression #dwd #eraser #larienne
Published: 2018-08-25 17:15:12 +0000 UTC; Views: 20814; Favourites: 2074; Downloads: 118
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Description
Eraser - how many times have you ever wanted to vanish or you would want others to forget you so they could be happier?This is a part of Dealing with Depression series I made to raise awareness and be able to vent own emotions
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Comments: 89
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There have been so many times I’ve said something and made someone feel terrible, at times like that I did want to disappear because I didn’t want them to be hurting, I would rather deal with the pain myself.
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About 4 times but most of them were in Elementary school when I was bullied constantly.
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#MOOD
But on a serious note.. yes, I have felt that way from time to time.
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This is powerful in a good way. I really like that you have used a bright colour palette - it gives this picture a lot of weight, even if its charm seems a bit ''happy and bubbly'' on the first glance, you convey the message you want to convey in a tactful manner.
Awesome and inspirational 
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Fighting depression is easy as pie when you have help from others (if it doesn't help then too bad its over)
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(im gonna be doing a mini story of how relate to this every time you post a D.W.D along with writing the title as apart of the story)
i was invisible by grade 5 and grade six was worse, people treated me like trash like i was a toy one teacher looked over my shoulder i started having mental breakdowns my arms stiff and solid same with the rest of my body, my eyes a flood of tears, my mouth snapped shut, i wanted to be 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐞 but not that was afraid of being drawn into reality no because i was also afraid of being 𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐝
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I want to do this so much... to erase myself completly... that would be nice
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Oh man, I totally do relate with this picture resp. with your feelings.
I have wished for both: To vanish and to vanish from people's minds.
The picture itself is BEAUTIFUL but I have a question: what's that eraser trace on her upper arm, does it have a deeper meaning?
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Perhaps the eraser mark is coming from her heart?
By the way, I'm sorry if you don't like late replies from someone who is not the artist…
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1. Maybe...
2. No, do not worry about this
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sometimes i wish not to be seen but just heard yeah know? (saying this in a Dead Pool ID) lol but thats how i feel irl
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Not a feeling I'm familiar with, but this visualization really makes it easy to imagine it.
I like the bright color scheme, it feels like a bit of forced happiness, which I think goes well with the theme.
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The feeling is more alien to me now than it was in the past. That being said, if there was a way to erase myself from everyone's memory so that I could vanish without a guilty conscience, I'd still take it.
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I used to, but nowadays I just don't care to feel like that. I still feel like I want to vanish but I don't because the only way to become a better person or just a better friend is to stick with it. Even if my art is ugly, even if I can't get it to do what I want to I still draw. The reason I even started to draw was because a professional told me: "Draw every day, then you will become good at drawing." And I still stick to that.
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Couldn't have said it better myself!
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I felt that way way too many times. Both with erasing myself and erasing others. I just wish that blocking people would be as easy IRL as it is online.
I am really looking forward to see rest of the series. Topic of depression is really close to me.
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In moments like this I don't truly know what to say. It's hard to comprehend how much pain and suffering is in the world. I sincerely wish that we could begin the uphill battle to create a world where love conquers hate, we can trust others, we can truly all be brothers and sisters, a big happy family. I grew up with Asperger's Syndrome, ADHD, and Opposition Defiant Disorder, I never really had a place. Some thought I was a bad kid, some pitied me, but it never felt like anyone knew me and accepted me. I was either a weird kid, a special kid, or someone people just didn't know how to deal with. Personally, even to this day I struggle with finding the place where I fit in and fear being close to others. I doubt those I want to call friends, and when I think about my sufferings it's hard to say that it isn't me to blame. Growing up, I felt that I needed to do better, that I needed to be better. I find myself hating that I can't be perfect, that I fail to reach this potential to be normal. I think that is a product of how we are raised. I think the way we are taught to think and feel has been wrong for a very long time.
Anyone can feel free to talk to me.
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I have sometimes felt this way in the past. There were times I was scared I felt that way because ceasing to exist is a greater fear of mine. But, those feelings of wanting others to be happier because I felt disappearing would make them happier made those feelings trump the fear. Most of the time it only ever was contemplation. But, there were two times in my life I did try because I was so upset years ago. I never have again though, and don't feel ashamed of what happened. I simply have come to realize I just didn't know any other way to deal with the emotions I felt at the time. I've gotten better over the years as I've strive to find myself and pursue my goals. I think the dark thoughts will always pop up here and there, but now I use them as motivation for my writing and as a way to empathize with others. It helps a lot for me to do that. I hope anyone else that has ever had these kind of thoughts are able to find their own source of happiness and accept themselves someday.
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I struggle with my parents. My dad is not abusive but he does not know how to express his feelings since he did not have much love from his parents as a kid, so the emotions turn into anger and he takes it out on me mostly. I also have extremely religious parents and sisters, and then there's me, the Pansexual Middle child. Girls my age go to their parents and tell them about the boys they like and the drama that follows. I can't do that because when I try to talk to my mom about it... She just says.. You don't like her, your just confused. You are too young to really, truly understand. I end up under my covers with a sharpener, crying myself to sleep. I would never kill myself. I love my family and friends too much to hurt them that badly, but It's hard. For people who feel this way, your not alone. If ANYONE ever wants to talk/vent, Note me and I will get to it as soon as I can! OK, by now lol! <3
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I don't want to die... but sometimes... I wish I could just disappear for a while. Be able to hear my own thoughts for once. You are an absolute amazing artist and one on my favorites on this site so THANK YOU!!!
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There have been way too many times when I have wished this to happen...
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This is not relatable to me, but I do have other stories to share for later Deviations in this series.
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I’ve been there.
I snuck away one day and drove from Phoenix to San Francisco to ask my girlfriend’s parents for their blessing to marry their daughter. They told me she had never been happier in her life and welcomed me to the family. When I got back to Phoenix, I invited my girlfriend to meet me at our favorite restaurant – I had memorized my proposal and planned to ask her over dinner.
I waited at the restaurant for some time and she didn’t show. This was unlike her. I called her place (we didn’t have cell phones back then) and there was no answer. I waited longer, then checked her place, left a note, and then went back to my place. Her parents called in the middle of the night – she had been on her way to the restaurant, was hit head-on by a drunk driver, and died at the scene.
All my life I had always been very positive and nothing could bring me down. I had never experienced depression or lost anyone that close to me before. It felt as though my heart had been ripped out and there was such an overwhelming emptiness within. It was all my fault, if I hadn’t invited her to dinner, she would still be here. Anger, sadness, helpless, hopeless – totally overwhelmed me.
I withdrew within myself and then couldn’t feel anything – didn’t want to feel anything. At the time I had the best job in the world – doing what I loved to do (artwork), excellent pay, and steady work – but that didn’t matter. I didn’t want to go anywhere or do anything. I didn’t want to die – I’ve always valued my live – I just wanted to disappear, to vanish, or be erased.
I quit my job, gave away all my stuff, gave up my apartment, and just disappeared – I had money saved (enough for a substantial down payment on a house) – I didn’t call anyone or let anyone know I was leaving – I just drove wherever the road took me. I was gone for six months – definitely the worst six months of my life – but then found myself back at my hometown in Washington.
I’m not really sure if anyone missed me – I’ve never been extremely close with my family or friends so it wasn’t uncommon that I not call or write for months (or years) – I never asked, but I’m sure as far as they knew, I was off busy doing something fun and exciting. What I really found during that time is that I wanted a life where I would be missed. I wanted friends and family who genuinely cared.
If anyone ever gets to this point, please don’t hesitate to send me a note. I’m more than willing to talk with you, feel your pain or emptiness with you, and I’m willing to be that friend who does sincerely care. I've been there. It’s taken me many really rough years, but I now have the life I was looking for, and I never – ever – want to go back.
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This is so thought provoking as are all of your pieces but this one really touched home base with me. The poll was an interesting one and I jotted down my two cents. Thanks sharing this piece with us. You are truly an angel sent from above. God bless and keep up the great work.
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My best friend says I have more than just depression, or it's worse than most people with depression. He gave an example saying how if someone with depression donated to charity, they'd know they did good and feel good for however long. Whereas I, someone going through psychological abuse, will think I'm bad and feel like an awful person. He's not wrong, at least for my part.
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I can relate because I’m suffering of this as of now, and I’ve felt the feeling far to many time for a girl my age. I know I have many friends, but I always feel empty, alone, and useless.
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never got that dark...
really hope you haven't either!!
nice picture!!
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I relate.
I am so glad you made an awareness regarding depression; because it is very serious!
It just kinda came over me I guess. I don't really have a story, but i'm working to get through it.
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I relate.
There's been so many times where I wish I could just drift off into darkness just for a few hours.. or days.. or weeks..
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Can relate
So glad you've decided to start this series tho, as someone who also suffered from depression and is healing slowly I completely support you
Looking forward to your next works
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I often wish to just lay down, fall asleep and vanish inside one of my dreams and never wake up again. Sadly that's not possible.
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i'm definitely going through this right now. i've been isolating myself from my friends for so long, and i've thought about breaking up with my partner because i feel like i'm holding them back.
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... I may or may not be going through this right now.
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Yes, I can relate... But I prefer not to share my stories...
I just feel so invisible all the time.. Noone ever listens to me..
(Just a quick edit) I don't have depression. But I can get very lonely and upset.
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Many tunes. Yet just right now, I want to be gone... So my mother would finally would get a her wish fulfilled...
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Oh heck. I'm sorry you're going through that rn
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I haven't been diagnosed with depression but I do get really sad sometimes, don't we all? It's great youre spreading awareness! Lovely artwork by the way.
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I’ve dealt with this for a while. While I don’t have depression, my self-confidence and self-worth is very low, and I always just feel like a burden for everyone. I remember a few times where I would in bed thinking I never should have been born. I still struggle with my self-esteem and worth, and I still think I shouldn’t be happy for some reason. But I’ve been getting better, and now I know that God loves me for the mess that I am, and that my loved ones accept me.
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